AN: I'm sorry it took so long!! many, many bows of apology Don't hurt me, please?
Thank you so much to Kaeru Shisho and Deep Sea Dolphin for your beta-reading! I really appreciate it!
Kaeru Shisho: thanks again for being my beta-reader! You've much improved my writing, I think. Thanks for your great review and I hope this chapter won't disappoint.
DSD: Thank you again for going over this chapter as well! I'm sorry I didn't follow your suggestions much, but I just couldn't bring myself to alter what I had very much… To me, Gourry is a simple man but not completely stupid…. I hope the next chapter will be a bit more to your liking. As for your review: lol, I do share that opinion of Zel's 'hardness'! My cousin had a similar conversation concerning 'rock-hard' and 'blue balls'. I'm glad to know we were not alone! And yes, Xelloss and Zellas are evil! But I like evil, it makes things interesting.
Bloody Angel X: I wont hurt you…much…Lol, just kidding! Thank you for taking the time to read the works my strange little mind concocts! I hope you continue find the story interesting, though, honestly, I think this is a low chapter… no real action or anything… Well… hopefully you enjoy anyways!
On to chapter seven! Where we delve into the thoughts of men…
- - - -
"Sylphiel, I'm leaving now," Gourry called over his shoulder as he opened the front door.
An ebony-tressed woman appeared from the kitchen with a fond smile. "Alright, Gourry-dear. Here, I've packed a lunch for you to take too," she said, pressing the handle of the basket into her husband's large, calloused hand. Leaning up, she planted a gentle kiss upon his lips and smiled as he left, waving. "I'll have supper waiting for you!"
"Kay!"
Gourry grinned to himself as he took the tiny path around the back of their quaint little home, heading for the field he used for practice. It would take him nearly a half an hour to reach his training grounds if he kept his leisurely pace, but he didn't mind; he had some thinking to do anyway. His mind wandered over the events of the past six months, since he'd awoken to Sylphiel nude next to him. So much had changed!
He was contented, sure, but he wasn't certain if he was happy. As a master swordsman, it had been a simple task rise up through the ranks to become a commander in the growing Sairaag army. He was dubbed the Knight of Sairaag by Crowned Prince Phillionel of Seyruun a year ago, according to Sylphiel, before the burly ruler had relinquished control of his kingdom to his daughter. As a Knight, he was a defender of the city, the commander of the army, as well as responsible for instructing swordplay to the soldiers and any who wished to learn. He was sworn to his position now and although it was a responsibility he performed with excellence and loved, the young man's heart was ill at ease-- he wondered what had happened while he was drugged. That year and a half was time that he could never get back!
Taking a distracted kick at some dandelions already gone to seed, he watched the tiny white puffs dance away on the breeze. Sylphiel loves me, he thought with a troubled sigh. And she's a great match for me, but is she the one I'm meant to be with? He enjoyed the attention that the soft-spoken shrine maiden showered upon him, her doting ways, and he definitely wasn't going to say he didn't enjoy their nocturnal activities. But, what if…That single thought had stuck in his simple mind ever since he'd awoken.
How would things be now if Amelia'd never given us that stuff? he wondered. Would he have ended up marrying Sylphiel anyway? Or would he still be wandering the world as Lina Inverse's self-proclaimed guardian? This turned his mind towards the molten-tressed sorceress as his feet veered off the path towards the interior of the practice field. Settling the basket of food near the trees lining the clearing, he proceeded to unsheath his sword as he approached one of the many posts dotting the meadow.
"Lina," he whispered, bringing his sword before him in preparation to strike the nicked post. Taking a few minutes of gentle swings and careful manoeuvres, he allowed his body to stretch and warm up for the vigorous workout he planned. Deciding that his warm-up was complete, he balanced himself lightly upon the balls of his feet, allowing his mind to wander as he attacked the stationary target.
"She was to be mine!" he grunted, striking the wooden stake with a dull thud. "Xelloss doesn't deserve her!" Thud, thud, thump! The last was the sound of the top half of the post hitting the ground. "Oops," Gourry muttered to himself, "a bit too much there."
Selecting another target, the swordsman resumed his practice, again allowing himself to think as his body worked. He and Sylphiel had been married about a month before and though he would follow the vows he'd swore, he couldn't help but wonder if Lina wasn't the one meant for him. But she doesn't need me. She even said so, he remembered bitterly, swinging his sword in a wide arc to connect with three of the nearest posts, marking them all. She'd broken his nose, he recalled, believing he was staring at her breasts. Well, I had a quick peek, but I was more concerned about her well being instead of gawking at her little chest!
- — - "Quit lookin'!" she growled, crossing her arms defensively over her chest as she stalked after her companions. "And no, he hasn't hurt me," she answered quietly.
"Good," Gourry responded, his tone nasal. "But I should have been there to protect you anyway."
"Don't worry about it," the sorceress admonished. "I can take care of myself!" Yeah, she thought, that's why I'm pregnant! "Besides, Sylphiel needs you more than I do. I know that you can be happy with her."
"Yeah, she's a really good cook," Gourry said brightly, the pain in his nose apparently forgotten as Lina sweatdropped. "I love her, Lina."
"I know," Lina said softly, surprising even herself with the heavy emotion lacing the words. "She's always loved you."
"But you need someone to protect you, and I did swear it…"
"Gourry!" Lina growled, turning on him. "I do not need a guardian, dammit! I can look after myself just fine! You've been gone for nearly two years and see, I'm just fine!"
"Yeah but Xelloss…"
"What about him? He's the same nutty fruitcake he was before! I can handle him."
"Ok, ok, but seriously, Lina," Gourry began, looking curiously into Lina's eyes. "Are you gaining weight?"
"Aaarg!" the redhead screamed as she pulled magical energy into her hands. "FIREBALL!" - — -
Why'd Amelia have to take our lives into her own hands?! I wanted to do things my way! Or, at least, Lina's way…
He loved Sylphiel, as he'd told Lina a couple of months before, but it wasn't the same as the way he still felt for Lina. But what confused him the most was that he couldn't figure out which he truly wanted to spend his life with; both were good for him, but on different levels. When he'd last seen Lina in Seyruun, he'd convinced himself that she was like a little sister to him, much like he viewed Amelia so as to give her the space she seemed to want, but then why can't I stop thinking about her?! Another thing that baffled the handsome blonde was that although he missed the redhead terribly, he knew he couldn't bear the guilt he'd feel if he left Sylphiel. Is that because Lina'd been gone before I 'woke up'?
"Damnit, Amelia! Why?!" he growled, cleanly slicing through his practice post.
Panting heavily, he watched the severed log roll to a stop some distance away. He needed a break to cool down both his body and his ire. Sheathing his sword, he stalked over to the basket his wife had so thoughtfully packed for him. Lina'd never do that, he mused while he settled himself upon the ground, leaning back against the slender trunk of a crab-apple tree as he shoved a hand into the basket. Grasping what his fingers told him was bread, he brought the morsel to his mouth to eat it leisurely.
Since he wasn't particularly hungry and he wasn't competing against a particular sorceress, he ate slowly, but he still consumed the contents of the basket far quicker than anyone else would have-- save Lina, of course. By the time he was finished and was sipping a canteen, he was relaxed once more, his sky-blue eyes no longer as troubled.
Amelia's happy, he thought, a twinge of guilt piercing his heart as he remembered his harsh words as he'd finished his practicing. I can't blame her for wanting us all to be happy. But couldn't she see that I was happy? Why couldn't she have just left Lina and I alone to keep on travelling? I wanted her then. And she was starting to come around while we were still questing. She'd let me put an arm around her, heck, she even started confiding her deeper thoughts in me – and not just her opinions on an average topic! Lina was finally going to admit she had feelings for me! I know it! And then…that fantastic supper that Amelia made us that night 2 years ago… Now, that's one meal I'll never forget.
And now everything's so different, so complicated! We're no longer journeying, and so much has changed. I can't leave Sylphiel now… I married her. I love her, but I still… love Lina too, he admitted, feeling guilt was over him as he turned his eyes skyward. Realising he wasn't any closer to resolving his dilemma, he cursed under his breath as he slammed a large fist against the grassy ground next to him. Why can't everything just go back to the way it was before? Lina, Zel, Amelia and me…Xelloss too, I suppose. He wasn't so bad to be around. And why can't I remember anything that happened after Amelia drugged us?! Sighing heavily, Gourry tipped his head back to rest against the tree, his large eyes seeking out the clouds as if his answers floated somewhere in the heavens above. Hell, even Zelgadis doesn't seem to mind how things are now. Doesn't he want things back to normal? I always thought that he ought to be with Amelia… But he's with that Zelas. Zel said that he was done 'gallivanting to the ends of the world on insane quests and crazy prophesies'. He said that he'd found his cure, it was just a matter of time before he could get it…
I never asked Lina if she wanted to go back travelling while I was there, but I should have! Sylphiel would understand, wouldn't she? She seems to know me so well…
Gourry frowned darkly and closed his eyes to the blue expanse above him. That Zellas seems nice enough too, though I can tell I wouldn't want her mad at me… But why is she with Zelgadis? Isn't she Xelloss' boss or something? She is a looker, the blonde admitted to himself. Is that why Zel doesn't want to go travelling again? He wants to stay with her? She's crazy! How can Zel even put up with her? They did dance at the ball Amelia and Akkari threw for me and Sylphiel though… What was going on between them, really? He'd said that they were business partners. Is that all?
Shrugging slightly, as if to answer himself, Gourry opened his eyes and tucked his empty canteen back into the basket before rising to his feet. With a firm resolution to finish his workout, he made his way back out into the post-studded meadow, unsheathing his sword as he moved. Taking up a defensive stance in the center of a clear area, he took a deep breath, exhaling slowly as he began to parry an imagined foe.
"Are you happy, Lina?" he whispered, striking out with his sword as his mind wandered once more back to the petite redhead. "You seemed to be. You had something on your mind though; I could tell. Why wouldn't you tell me? Before all this happened you would have. Did it have to do with me? Or maybe Xelloss? Do you ever wonder what might have happened between us if we'd never been given that stuff? I do…"
Blocking another invisible blow, he swung his sword around then down. Had a man stood before him, he would have been slashed from one shoulder to the opposite hip.
"I've accepted my relationship with Sylphiel now," he said, speaking as if Lina were nearby, able to hear his words, "but that doesn't change how I feel about you. I swore to be your guardian, Lina, but how can I be now? You don't seem to want me. You seem to have replaced me with Xelloss."
Grunting softly with exertion, the Knight of Sairaag thrust his arms forward, sinking his sword into a post he'd manoeuvred close to. There he stood for a long moment to catch his breath. Noting the sun was past its zenith and well into its decent to the western horizon, Gourry freed his blade from the skewered log and brushed it off on his leggings before sliding it with practiced ease into its sheath at his hip. He then turned on his heel towards the discarded lunch basked as he wiped his brow with the back of his hand.
Xelloss isn't such a bad man, but he is a monster. He's never actually hurt you that I know of, he thought rationally as he stooped to collect his basket before turning down the trail home. But I've never trusted him, and how can I trust him to take care of you? I have my vows to Sylphiel and Sairaag to keep now, but what of you? I hid my feelings from you in Seyruun, and I think I made the right choice staying with Sylphiel. It wouldn't be fair to leave her now, he decided with a clenching of his fists in finality.
It felt as if a bit of the weight dragging at his shoulders lifted though his thoughts still dampened the normal spring of his step. But how can I be sure that you'll be all right? There's no one else but Xelloss with you now, if you leave Seyruun, which you're bound to do eventually. Zel is busy back in that town with Zelas; Amelia's married to Akkari and they're too busy with their kingdom to be doing much travelling; and I'm here with Sylphiel now, protecting Sairaag and helping it rebuild. Who else is there?
I just wish that I knew if he'd treat you right. Xelloss has been known for his tricking and use of us to get what he wants… I call that backstabbing! How can I trust him knowing that about him? He cares for you, Lina, as we all do, but I'm not sure if it's like I do. How can I be sure that you'll get the happiness you deserve? Amelia and Zel seem to think that you and Xelloss are more than just friends. Is that true? L-sama, I wish I knew the answers to all these questions! Life wouldn't be nearly so confusing!
Sighing with frustration, the lanky blonde looked up to see his house, no, his home come into view. Sylphiel would have supper waiting for when he arrived, he knew, and a small smile crept over his lips with that pleasant thought, ending the moody workings of his over-wracked brain. He could go on, as long as he remembered that she was right for him in a way that Lina could never be…
- - - -
Zelgadis settled the two flutes of wine onto the table before taking the chair across from his blonde companion silently. Taking a sip of his own dark beverage, he watched the Beastmaster do the same, his eyes tracing the smooth contours of her beautiful face, etching them into his memory. It was late evening, the sun gone below the horizon though the sky was still lighter than night's blue through the inn's windows, and the golden glow from the flames in the fireplace seemed to illuminate her perfect features even more. Zellas was a stunning woman; tall, blonde, slender, with healthy tanned skin, and a sharp mind. Yes, she seemed odd, acted insane by anyone's standards, and was the most dangerous creature currently roaming the planet, but Zelgadis found himself drawn to her. Her being, the very aura with which she held herself, seemed to beckon to him, alluring in its promise of power.
They were seated in the empty dining area of their inn, enjoying the peace of the evening before returning to the monotony of the road in the morning. A summons had been sent from Eshynal from Queen Amelia, asking the pair to go to Seyruun for the birth and naming of the royal couple's child next month. When the letter had arrived, Zelgadis had asked about the origin but the Mazoku Lord had chuckled and taken the letter away, explaining that Eshynal was a tiny kingdom adjoined to the Seyruun Empire and Akkari's home. When the two had married the spring previous, they had joined the two domains, and travelled between them freely. The royal couple did spend most of their time in Seyruun, however.
"The princess is happy," Zellas said quietly, raising her amber eyes to meet Zelgadis'.
The youth nodded though a bit shaken that she'd seemed to know whom he was thinking about. "Yes. I'm glad she found what she was looking for in life. Though how did you know that's who I was thinking of?"
"Are you disappointed that it wasn't you?" she asked, ignoring his question with a teasing smile gracing painted lips.
"No," Zelgadis said after a long moment. It always frustrated him when Zellas wouldn't answer him, but he'd since learned that harassing her for an answer would guarantee he wouldn't receive one. Chances were more likely that she'd give him her reply whenever he least expected it, like at breakfast the following morning, or in the middle of his sword training though they wouldn't be holding a conversation. Intriguing creature, this Beastmaster Zellas Metallium. "I care for Amelia as a friend and as such, am happy for her, but I am not jealous. I would never fit into her world as well as she had thought I would anyway. Phil had accepted me, true, but that's not to say anyone else would have."
Zellas nodded in understanding before taking a sip of her wine once more. She took a long drag from her cigarette as she studied the chimeric youth across from her with a lazy gaze. Though he tried to seem cool and aloof, he still had a human heart, with all of its intricacies and flaws, though he did appear to have better control of his emotions than others of his race. "You're right; you're not made for palace life. You're too goal orientated and travel-ready a human to survive the monotony there."
"So you say," he chuckled, agreeing. Being that his beautiful companion was being forward with her queries and opinions, the youth decided to voice one of his own thoughts. "What about you, Zellas; don't you find living as a human… mundane in comparison to what you're used to?"
Zellas paused to consider her answer, her humour spreading into her amber eyes when she spoke, "Mundane? No. In fact I find it rather fascinating and educational. You humans never seem to tire of your petty squabbles that you call war, fighting each other for insignificant reasons, or rushing through the few years that you call life. Very amusing, I have to admit." She sipped her wine again as Zelgadis digested this information with a thoughtful expression.
"Put that way, I can see how being an immortal might give you that misconception of us, but that is not what we are like all of the time," he replied. Glancing out the now dark window to see the moon cresting the horizon, he continued carefully. "We do live short lives in comparison to you, but I think that we lead … fuller lives. We know that we have only a few years before we die and we want to live for that time. I think that's why humans have the extreme array of emotions that we do," he told her, turning his gaze back to her. "Filia once said that you cannot feel sorrow; that neither Dragons nor Mazoku could. Is that true?"
"No."
Zelgadis nodded his head once; he'd figured as much. But why would Filia say such a thing then?
Seeming to know his thoughts again, the Beastmaster began, keeping her voice low as she spoke, "Your little Dragon friend only repeated the lies she'd been taught as were our minions; that is, that they cannot feel. If they are raised or trained with the principle that they cannot feel emotions, at least not the extremes such as deep sorrow, pure hate or love, then they discount what they might begin to feel and then become accustomed to ignoring those reactions entirely and thus, generally, do not experience what they are convinced cannot be. If they do not experience it, or they believe that they should not, they will ignore those emotions and continue their duties as they are supposed to," she explained. Frowning slightly, she took another drag of her cigarette, sending the smoke pluming above them with a breath. "It is not as simple as all that, but that is the basic mechanics of it."
"So, you take Xelloss, he can and does feel the 'extremes', as you'd put it, and that puts him at risk of not complying with your orders?" Zelgadis wondered, allowing his curiosity to show in his expression as he paused to sip his own wine. "How so? I thought that his loyalty came first and foremost."
"Loyalty, yes," the Dark Lord agreed with a small, amused grin, "but it is to whom that determines his actions." Zelgadis' eyes widened suddenly with realisation as Zellas continued. "I hold the majority of his loyalty but I no longer own his heart, my dear. Your little sorceress has captured it – as I'd wanted her to—but with it goes loyalty as well. Xelloss has been unwavering in his devotion to me, but he's had his heart broken before and I doubt he'd allow it to happen again. My son will allow nothing to harm the one he's given his heart to, not again, and certainly not your friend."
"He loves her that much?" the young man asked softly, his blue gaze falling to his wine.
"I don't know." The answer was simple, but honest. Zellas had found a friend in the chimera and though it would put her further into the bad books of the other Mazoku, she felt that she could trust the young human with a few secrets. Besides, she thought as she drained her flute of wine, I can always kill him later. It was nice to be one of the strongest beings on the planet!
How can Xelloss, a Mazoku, love to such a great extent? He wondered, the oceanic colour of his eyes darkening with consternation. Zellas just admitted that both Dragons and Mazoku can feel the emotions, and a few can even feel love, but to what extent? Could he honestly care for her as a man would his mate, or does the self-proclaimed Trickster Priest merely love Lina as a child would a favourite toy?
She also she wanted Lina to win Xelloss' love… Why? It can't be to teach him the power of emotions… she'd mentioned him having lost before. But who? When? How? And why has she decided to tell me this?
"By the way, my dear, what do you think of your swordsman friend's decision to wed that Sylphiel girl?"
Zelgadis blinked in surprise with the sudden change of topic, answering without considering his words. "I think he did it to get over Lina."
"Oh? Think he still cares for the little woman?"
Zelgadis hesitated. Zellas tone was still as light and flippant as when she'd asked the previous question, but there was a hardness creeping into her slitted amber eyes that made him consider his words. I don't need her thinking that Gourry's a threat! Though, only L-sama knows why she's trying to play matchmaker… "You said it yourself at that ball Amelia threw for Gourry and Sylphiel's engagement; we all care for Lina in our own way. I know Gourry, he's just worried that she still needs to be protected, and he's worried that Xelloss can't do it."
"Oh?" the blonde said again, eyeing the chimera. Was he covering something? Perhaps she would have to take a few of her own measures to keep that dense, but handsome blonde from interfering. He would no doubt be joining them for the birth and naming of Amelia's progeny in Seyruun as well… but that was a plan for another time. Time to switch paths again, "What about you, my dear? Are you satisfied with your current lifestyle now since you finally got that Star-bane out of your system?"
"Yes," the young man answered with a small grin. "I would still be wandering the world -- probably with Lina -- searching for my cure if Amelia hadn't interfered the way she had. Here I can get my cure, in time. I'm making more than enough money to live comfortably and I have a roof over my head."
"And what about the company?" Zellas purred, her eyes narrowing seductively. "Surely I'm worth mentioning at least."
"And I'm accepted by you and the people of this town," he went on, smirking slightly. "At least here I'm not a freak." Noticing the beginnings of a pout, Zelgadis continued smoothly, "But you, however, are unforgettable. No matter whatever transpires, rest assured that you have made an eternal mark upon my mind. You, Greater Beast, who is not to be taken lightly, and never ought to be believed incapable of horrific deeds, have acquainted yourself with me as so few humans have done. You, my dear lady, are both the most fearsome yet companionable being I've ever had the pleasure of meeting."
The Mazoku Lord's eyes glittered in the firelight and Zelgadis had the impression that she approved of his words. "You were never a freak, my dear. You're intelligence is engaging just as the shred of darkness that shares that body is appealing," Zellas said softly as she rose to walk over to him. Leaning down gracefully, she whispered against his ear, "And you are very attractive for a human."
Zelgadis blushed and turned to say something to the Beastmaster, but the sultry blonde was not there. His sharp ears caught the faint sound of running water as a bath was run. Releasing a deep breath, he rose and moved stiffly off to the darkened rear of the inn towards his own room, fighting raging desire the entire way. If she keeps doing this to me, this is going to be a very, very long trip to Seyruun.
- - - -
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