Rating: K
Pairing: SS/HG, pre-ship.
Category: General/drama
Disclaimer: Characters and setting belong to the fantastic J.K. Rowling. No money is being made, and no harm is intended.
Author's note: This is a one-shot I wrote while pondering chapter 14 of Unexpected feelings. This is a repost, as it has been betaed by the wonderful Mika Bird.
At dawn
Severus was staring at the gleaming half-moon, shining through the high window on the cold October night, as he prepared for the trip into the forest. The Moon in her first quarter was perfect for gathering the various herbs needed in many potions. The professor enjoyed the solitude he found among the tall trees of the forest, his only company the friendly face of the moon and the many stars in the endless sky. Even the beasts and animals of the woods seemed friendly on this one night a month; at least they left him alone and let him gather his herbs in peace.
It wasn't strictly necessary that he gather these herbs at this particular time, but Severus was an old-fashioned Potions Master and believed that his ingredients would retain more magic when gathered under the right circumstances. Many younger Potions Masters found this less important; Severus upheld the old customs.
Closing the Entrance doors behind him, Severus looked over the sloping lawns of the Hogwarts grounds, shadows playing across the grass. As he walked toward the Forbidden Forest and past the glimmering lake, he let a rare smile grace his lips, his breathing free and his posture relaxed for the first time in many weeks.
His colleagues didn't understand why he insisted on doing this; often they asked him how he could cope the following day, after not sleeping at all. They didn't understand that these outings were a welcomed break for him, a chance to forget his worries and the constant threat of the ongoing war and the many fears and problems it brought with it.
It was odd, for man who had always believed that control of the mind would give one the control needed to overcome impediments, that it took a nightly stroll into the Forest to make him relax.
Severus pulled out his wand as he entered the Forest. Despite the typical absence of any actual danger, it could never hurt to be on the safe side. He followed his usual path through the Forest, quickly finding his way to the best gathering places.
The professor spent all night among the trees, casually gathering as the pale moon slowly crept across the sky. When the deep blackness of the Forest started greying ever so slightly, Severus closed his satchel and started making his way back toward the castle.
Emerging from the Forest he cast a look at the calm water of the lake, his dark eyes following the slowly swirling mist covering it. He had only taken a single step when he stopped, turned around and frowned at what he saw on he opposite side of the lake. On a large rock at the edge of the water sat a small figure, barely discernible across the distance and through the misty light of daybreak.
His pace fast and his eyes fixed on the opposite side, Severus quickly approached this unknown person. As he came closer he could see the long, brown hair of a young woman, a fresh breeze slowly blowing the hair about, and when he was a few feet away from the rock, he slowed his pace and came to a stop right behind the rock.
Settling his face into a scowl, he cleared his throat and said, in his coldest voice: "Excuse me."
Letting out a startled scream, the young woman leapt to her feet and gasped: "Oh dear Merlin, you scared me!" Severus stared incredulously at her.
"Miss Granger? What on earth are you doing out here?" His voice revealed his disbelief, mirroring the expression on her face.
"I... Well, I'm just... I'm...," she said, cutting herself off as she seemed lost for words. Sighing softly she turned toward the lake, staring distantly at the mist. "I was just going to watch the sunrise."
Something in her voice stopped the angry chastening he was mentally preparing. Instead he looked at her for a moment, frowning, and then asked: "How long have you been out here, Miss Granger?"
Sending him and apologetic look, she shrugged and said: "I'm not sure, but at least four or five hours."
"What?" he sneered, his anger returning. "Do you realise what kind of danger you have put yourself in, you silly girl? Wandering about in the grounds in the middle of the night-"
"You're wandering about in the grounds as well, why shouldn't I?" her angry voice cut through his. A split-second passed as their eyes locked. Realisation then dawned upon Hermione's face, and the anger was replaced by a look of shock.
"Oh! I'm sorry, Professor, I shouldn't have said that!"
Giving her a hard look, Severus lowered his voice and whispered silkily: "You would do well to remember whom you are addressing Miss Granger." Blushing, she lowered her eyes and bit her bottom lip.
The wind suddenly picked up and Hermione shivered violently. Frowning, Severus realised that she wasn't wearing a cloak. A curious feeling spread trough him at the sight. Without another thought he swiftly loosened the clasps of his outer cloak, pulled it off and slipped it over her shoulders.
Her head snapped up and she sent him a look of surprise.
"You are shivering, Miss Granger, and I doubt Madam Pomfrey would approve of me letting you continue to freeze, if she found out that I had discovered you at the lake at dawn."
A stunned silence followed his quip, broken by sudden laughter from Hermione; a soft, rich laugh that resounded across the misty waters of the lake. As the warm sound died out, a melancholic look took over her face.
Frowning slightly, Severus looked at the young woman standing in front of him. What on earth had possessed her to sit all night on a rock by the lake, without a cloak, in the middle of October?
Mentally shaking himself out of his thoughts he gave her a pointed look and said crisply: "I think it is about time we get back to the castle, Miss Granger."
She nodded and gave him a small smile, amusement still lingering among the melancholy in her eyes. They slowly started walking along the edge of the lake, both of them deep in thought.
Halfway toward the castle Hermione cleared her throat hesitantly and said: "Professor? If you don't mind my asking, why are you out here at this time
"If you must know, Miss Granger, I was gathering herbs in the forest." She nodded and they lapsed into silence once more.
Severus couldn't forget the thought that had entered his mind when he had discovered the young woman at the lake, and finally he voiced it again: "Miss Granger, why were you sitting at the lake in the middle of the night?"
Hermione froze in her tracks, and the lingering amusement in her eyes disappeared, leaving the melancholy and adding a closed expression. Stopping as well, Severus turned around and asked: "Miss Granger?"
"I… felt like being alone." Her voice had become somewhat tense.
"And there was no place within the walls of the castle where you could be alone? Do you have any idea what kind of danger you have put yourself in, Miss Granger, by sitting out here all night? And what about your friends, do you not think that they have been worried about you?" he said, frowning at her thoughtlessness.
"They don't care about me…"
"Pardon me?" Severus frowned at her, surprised at the sudden change in her voice. It had become bitter and harsh, and it seemed disturbingly wrong to hear her speak in such a way. Averting her eyes, she said hastily: "It was nothing, just forget it-"
"Miss Granger-"
"No, really, just forget it." She gave him a determined look.
Later on he could not recall what had made him push on, but that was none the less what he did. Taking a step toward her, he kept her gaze and said: "Miss Granger. What is it?"
Doubt flickering in her eyes, she said warily: "You really want to know?"
"I would not ask if I did not wish to hear it."
Still looking doubtful, Hermione said hesitantly: "It's silly, really... I had a fight with Harry and Ron, and… Well, all of us said things we shouldn't have. I just needed to get as far away as I could."
He raised an eyebrow and inquired: "And why did that prevent you from staying inside the castle, such as in your dormitory?" She blushed slightly and mumbled: "I just wanted to be near the water."
Severus wasn't sure how to react. Her answers were mysterious and made little sense to him, and her entire demeanour seemed so far from the level-headed and logical person she usually was. Had the conversation been going on at any other time or place he would automatically have sneered at her and made some derogatory comment, but now... He simply wasn't sure how to react to the sudden change in her.
Hermione shifted uncomfortably and, mistaking his silence for anger and disapproval, she rapidly started to apologise : "I know its stupid, sir, and I know that I should have known better than to-"
"Miss Granger." She stopped her hasty rambling. "Let us just go inside, shall we?"
A short look of surprise flickered over her face, gone before he could be certain that it had been there. She hesitated for a moment and then nodded, and they walked the remaining distance to the castle in silence.
Stepping into the Entrance Hall, they both stopped. After a few seconds of awkward silence, Severus cleared his throat pointedly and said: "You should get to your dormitory, Miss Granger."
Surprise again flickered across her face, this time apparently because she was expecting some form of punishment.
"Go to your dormitory, Miss Granger," he repeated sternly. Giving her Professor a quick smile she turned around and started up the stairs. Frowning, Severus called after her: "Miss Granger?"
She stopped in her tracks and slowly turned around, answering warily: "Yes?" Unable to hold back a sly smile at her reaction, he said silkily: "My cloak, Miss Granger. I would like to have it back."
"Oh -I'm sorry!" She hurried back down the stairs, unclasping the cloak as she went and handing it back to him. Taking a few steps up the stairs, she turned back again and said: "And thank you for lending it too me."
He nodded briefly and she hurried up the stairs, sending him a contemplative and wondering look as she disappeared from sight at the top of it. He stared after her for several minutes before starting toward the dungeons.
-----
Two weeks had passed since their chance meeting at dawn, and Severus couldn't stop wondering about that night in October. What had made him go easy on her, made him lose some of the usual professorial façade he presented to all of his students?
He still couldn't figure it out. Maybe it had been because he had spent the entire night in the Forest, maybe it was because of a sudden and rare feeling of pity for this student of his, or maybe it was simply the fact that he seemed to have seen past the insufferable know-it-all he usually saw her as.
He had honestly never given Hermione Granger that much thought in all of the previous six years she had been at Hogwarts. She was just another Gryffindor, only noticeable because of her friendship with Potter and her constant desire to prove herself. He had subconsciously written her off as a conceited, silly and overzealous girl.
Now she seemed to attract his gaze all the time. She had apparently reconciled with her friends; they were constantly at her side as usual; but even her continuing association with Potter and Weasley could not change the fact that he saw her in a different light.
These kinds of thoughts were very much unlike Severus. He hardly ever thought about any of his students more than he had to, and it was beginning to get on his nerves that he could neither get her off his mind nor explain why she took up as many of his thoughts as she did.
He finally got enough of it and sternly told himself to pull himself together and stop wasting his time with idle and unnecessary thoughts.
-----
Another fortnight passed, and the moon was once again in the ideal position. Severus prepared for the monthly trip into the forest and enjoyed the walk as much as usual, only allowing his thoughts to linger on the previous trip for a few moments.
By the time the darkness slowly began to fade he had forgotten all of the thoughts that had occupied his mind these past few weeks, and he was instead going over a mental list of the ingredients needing replacement in his Potions cabinet. He walked out of the Forest, enjoying the complete calm of the world for as long as it lasted.
The mist was swirling across the grounds, painting everything in a soft, grey light. Severus walked along the edge of the lake, walking in a surreal world entirely made out of grey colours. When he had nearly passed the lake, a soft voice suddenly called out: "Hello, Professor."
Dropping his satchel, Severus pulled out his wand and swiftly turned around, finding himself face to face with Hermione Granger.
"What the hell are you doing out here?" he hissed, his heart pounding from adrenaline. "I'm sorry I startled you, sir, but I just thought I would keep you company on the way back to the castle." The expression on her face was unreadable.
Slowly lowering his wand, Severus frowned at her and asked: "Miss Granger, do I even want to know why you thought that it would be a good idea to do so?"
She turned around without answering, a small smile on her face, and began walking toward the castle. Staring after her for a few seconds, Severus put his wand back in his pocket and followed her.
They walked to the castle in surprisingly comfortable silence, neither wanting to break the stillness of the morning. As they arrived at the Entrance Hall, Hermione turned around and said: "I'll see you in class, Professor." Then she hurried up the stairs before he could say a single word.
-----
Several months passed in this fashion. In lessons and everyday life neither would acknowledge anything unusual; they would act as they always had. Severus as the harsh professor, Hermione as the eager student.
Each month Severus took his trips into the Forest, gathering herbs and relaxing among the trees; and at dawn, when he emerged from the woods, he would walk along the edge of the lake to the large rock where she would be waiting. They never said anything during these walks, other than greeting and bidding farewell. They simply walked through the mist of the early morning, forgetting the problems of the world for a little while.
Every once in a while Severus would wonder why she continued to meet him at dawn, and why he never punished her or even told her to stay in the dormitory where she ought to be at that hour, but he never found any answers to his questions. He sometimes felt that he might be becoming dependent on her company, though this thought was always accompanied by a scowl and a scornful laugh at his own stupidity.
The end of the school year was fast approaching, and the tension in the Wizarding World was steadily growing. It was general consensus that the war would soon escalate, and every day brought more and more troubles and concerns.
On the night of the moon in her first quarter in the last month of the school year, Severus needed the calm of the Forest more than ever. He wasted no time when preparing for the trip, and hurried down the lawns of the grounds and into the Forest; finally able to breathe freely again.
The night passed and he emerged from the Forest at dawn. A small smile flickered across his face as he saw the familiar figure waiting by the stone across the lake. As he walked closer he was suddenly struck by a deep feeling of melancholy; he had just realised that this would be their last meeting before she graduated.
Neither spoke as usual, but Severus was more lost in thought than he normally was. It was odd how fast this girl had become important to him, or at least her company this one time a month, and he could no more explain it after all these months, than he could after their first meeting. He had long since acknowledged that it was simply one of those things he could neither explain nor understand.
They soon after arrived at the Entrance Hall, bid each other farewell and Hermione hurried up the marble staircase as she always would. Staring after her, Severus couldn't help but wonder to himself whether she would, perhaps, miss these meetings at dawn as much as he would.
Graduation day came, and with it the inevitable partings and sad faces. A solemn atmosphere brought on by the war dominated the Leaving Feast, and the overexcited cheerfulness usually filling the air was restrained as well.
The students and their families were gathered in the Great Hall for the Graduation Ceremony, along with the Professors. Staring at the crowd of people, it was impossible not to think of the futures of these young men and women. Most would have risked their life and many lost it before the end of the year. The resemblance to his own graduation was so ironic that it was almost laughable.
After the ceremony he briefly mingled with the crowd; then headed for the doors, eager to escape to the dungeons. A few feet away from it a voice called after him: "Professor!"
Turning around, he saw Hermione Granger walking toward him.
"Professor, I just wanted to thank you," she said, holding out her hand. Nodding at her, he grabbed the outstretched hand and shook it. "You are welcome, Miss Granger."
Looking at him for a few seconds with the same expression of contemplative wonder she had worn the first time he had found her at the lake, she lowered her voice and added: "Also… Thank you for your company when... Well, you know what I mean."
A knowing glance passed between them, and Severus let a rare smile flicker across his face. She returned the smile and said: "Take care, sir," before turning around and rejoining her parents and friends.
Hesitating for a second, Severus called after her before losing his nerve: "Miss Granger? Thank you."
She smiled, and he gave her a curt nod before walking out of the Great Hall.