If I Smile And Don't Believe, Hoshiko
Summary: After a mental breakdown following Hao's untimely death, Anna seems to have lost all of her memories except of her beloved Hao…one night, when she attempts to escape from the En Inn where Manta has been watching over her, she is stopped by none other than Eliza, who stops her tears and begins to act as a mother for her. But as she grows more and more dependent on this new, "mother," Anna's mind drifts farther and farther away..and all Yoh can do is watch. Will Faust be able to help he and Eliza give Anna up as the daughter they never had, their "Hoshiko?" …or will they play onto the illusion and let Anna die?
Disclaimer: The tortured, vertically-challenged, exhausted authoress does not own Shaman King so please don't hurt her. That would be rude and insulting to Faust and Eliza and Frankensteiny. You don't want to upset the poor dears.
A/N: I love this plot! I wanted to have a main character, but it frequently switches between many characters like Anna, Yoh, Eliza, and Faust…Yay for Faust and Eliza on their way to stardom!
FaustEliza: Damn straight!
Neko-Neko Faust VIII: My god, Faust you are a sexy beast!
Eliza: Second to that!
Faust: I am what I is!
All: big cheesy smile Have fun with this story! 'Tis dramatic and angsty but the Author Notes shall brighten your gloomy day! And please convince Neko-Neko Faust VIII to cease doing her author notes in script!
Chapter One: "Agonizing Memories" –Manta POV
When I see her on the floor, just lying there motionless, I get so scared…not because I am scared of Anna, I was never scared of Anna…I just wish I could have told her that.
She used to be the only one I could confide in…she knows almost everything about me...and some of the things I told her, I still can't solve…why aren't I growing? I was probably cursed or something stupid like that, but even growing an inch is great when you're 80 cm tall…
She used to be so many things.
She used to be my protector.
She used to be my hero.
She…used to be…
My love.
And now I feel horrible, like I've tossed Yoh to the side like a crumpled-up, empty soda can that lingers on the side of the pavement…I know it's not right, and I know it, but they did this to her. Hao and Yoh, and I hate them both…just like she did.
And yet I can't help but think she was in love with Hao, however much I may have wished it, I knew she would never want me…who would want a boy who hasn't even reached puberty?!
Anna was in the shower, I could her her singing amongst the suffocating, rolling steam that clouded the air…obscuring my vision, though I wasn't even in the bathroom…it seeped under the crack in the door, just like her words that day.
"Manta! Why did you do this?! Why did you do this to me?!"
Those beseeching words ran through my head as I listened to her plaintive song ring throughout the house…I grimaced, as if holding back pain, I knew Yoh was aware of who she was singing about…He was in the house, he had to have heard it…she was singing for Hao.
But then again…she also loved him.
They all have their perfect little love triangle, like looking through a mirror and seeing a perfect reflection of the kind you see in the movies.
And I was the one kicked out of the triangle, and when it shattered, I was left to pick up the pieces.
Her pieces.
Her voice was smooth and beautiful, but so sorrowful…and like she was singing under mummy's bandages, covered in cotton.
For long it went on, I do not know…but after it ended the inn was shrouded in a deathly silence.
Panicking I rapped on the door.
No answer.
For that moment, I was terrified, I clawed at the door frantically, I screamed for her.
"Anna! Anna! Anna!!" I shouted myself hoarse.
No answer.
Horrified that she may have imitated Hao, with a look of hideous anxiety on my face, I walked into the bathroom to see something I either would have loved to, or hated to see.
It really all depended on how I took it.
And of course, I took it the hard way.
She lay motionless on the floor of the bath, not sinking to the bottom but floating as if she were already dead. Her hair fell in wisps over her face, and her eyes were misty.
"Oh my god! Anna! Anna, daijobu dess ka?!" I asked, concerned, and shaking her back and forth.
She opened her eyes half-way, "Who are you…" and fell into my arms.
Anna had lost consciousness again.
I held her as gently as I could, carrying her my best as I took her to her room.
Succumbing to my rather unhonorable temptations, I gazed upon her nude body.
So beautifully sculpted, and tanned from the sun. Her light hair was wet and dangling but so rich and full…and then I looked at her again.
She looked so fragile, though. Like a rose beaten by wind and pelted by rain…
I had my moment of silence, staring at my love in reverie.
My instance of bliss, was broken by a furious Yoh, whose raven hair seemed to stand on end from her anger.
"What are you doing, Manta?! What are you doing to Anna?! What are you doing?! GET OUT!!" he screamed at me, grabbing my throat.
Yoh slapped his hand with his forehead, "Manta…" he calmed down.
"I'm sorry. Leave." he concluded solemnly, taking Anna in his hands and propelling her to her room.
As I saw him leave the room, I knew Anna was awake somehow…and, knowing I had to leave soon, stood in the edge of the darkened doorway and watched her.
Anna sat in the darkest corner of the room, humming.
"Ring around the rosies, a pocket full of posies…" she chanted hauntingly, playing with a doll that Hao had given her.
"Ashes to ashes, we all fall down."
And she laughed until she cried.
A/N: Next stop: Anna's POV! Anna decides on running away! And then in the next next chapter, she meets Eliza-Dono! It shall become more twisted and sad each chapter I concoct…heh heh heh…
If you want to, I have a poll for you all to answer: Do you want it to end happily or sadly? This may affect the outcome, for I have not yet made the decision! :)
Thanks to the Reviewers!- Thank you priestess-carlie! I think I forgot the rest of your penname if there was more, please forgive me! I updated this just for you! Domo arigatou gozaimass! You inspired me to actually continue this fic…now if only someone could inspire me to continue Aisubeki Dearest…gloom
Ja Ne- Neko-Neko Faust VIII