Those Japanese Weirdoes
By DHASN
Rating: PG/PG-13
Summary: HP/YGO x-over Yugi-tachi gets an assignment over the summer to write letters to some people in England and a few of those people turn out to be Harry-tachi! A few quick letters and summer's done, so the assignment's done, right? Wrong. Meanwhile, trouble's brewing at Hoggy Warty Hogwarts, and it's not just one of Neville's potions failures...it has something to do with ol' Voldiemortie! Surprised? Not as much as we were. But wait, what about Seto and Mokuba? And Isis, Malik, and Rishid? Harry-tachi and Yugi-tachi aren't the only players in this turmoiled mess of a fic. Harry's fifth year is about to get confusing...

Hello to everybody who dared to pick up this disaster of a fic! I know I shouldn't be starting another fichus when I haven't updated my Spellcheck one (It's been about SIX months since) and the guilt is killing me. U Sowwie... anyway, I think that this one is a LOT better than the one said above (Anything's better than the Spellcheck one) so I'm kinda happy...U. Oh well...

One long Authoress's Note:

A/N: Forgive me if I use a blend of Japanese and Dub names; sometimes I prefer one to the other, like Honda, or Otogi. Also, since I have made "Anzu" friendship-crazy in this one, I will call her Tea so there's no whining from ADA that Anzu doesn't friendship speech. If you have no idea who some of the characters are, please ask me in a review or something, and I'll be happy to tell you. Problem solved. Also, some of the minor and static/flat characters (People who are just there and don't change) will be slightly AU for the sake of the plot because their character needs it. BTW, there will be absolutely NO YAOI whatsoever, even if the fic hints it. I am terribly sorry if you worship/adore/read only it, but I on the other hand, don't. Maybe one day I'll get Sheila-sama/Violent Tendencies to write a special yaoi chapter for you but that depends on the reviewers and how this fic is going along. Currently, I have no idea on the pairings situation, so don't count on whatever you're thinking right now, it's probably not going to happen. Tell me what I should do in a review, and I'll try to look into it; see what I can do.

Also, I suggest that you have substantial knowledge of all the Harry Potter books. I do not feel like explaining every single detail that pertains to the certain series...that just wastes my time and energy. I am aware that some good authors will explain, but like I said before, it just wastes my time and energy. Another bit of advice: simply watching the movies will not help. However, specific questions regarding the relationship of HP stuff to YGO stuff, I will explain. Anything else is still pending as of right now, so don't count on anything. You do not necessarily have to have read the fourth/fifth one in order to understand this, I will put hints along the way if you don't understand, particularly for allusions...

Yes, I have read the fifth book, but I want to keep Umbridge in here (maybe as a vague reference) and Luna seems to fit well here, however, this is not, I repeat, not going to be an AU. Also, I couldn't stand having Sirius dead, he's too cool to not be in this fic! Plus, it's hard for me to write anything after that simply because I am stupid and do not have enough creativity to go beyond what is written and published so far. I will just contain information from the novels 1-4, but like I said earlier, there will be some stufflets pulled from the fifth book that will be used...ano, I'm being redundant...

Enough A/N, let's get this thing over with so I don't have to do it again U

Disclaimer (I'll do this once because it wastes time and blah-dee-blah, blah, blah, blah.): I don't own "Yuugiou" as the Japanese say, nor do I own "Yu-Gi-Oh!" as the stupid Americans (Ahem Us) say. Kazuki Takahashi does. I also don't own Harry Potter either for JK Rowling has possession of that particular series of books. Therefore, the world is at rest and no more banana chocolate Pocky (Don't own that either) will go flying to Neptune (No own Neptune). Can you believe that now they have BANANA CHOCOLATE POCKY? Je sais (I understand) Pumpkin Pocky, but BANANA CHOCOLATE POCKY? Uck. Oh what? Am I rambling on too much? I'll stop now. TIME TO READ MY FICHU! (Starts gesturing wildly and pokes a random bum (this idea brought to you and copyrighted (NOT) by Michelle Dennis, a good friend of mine) in the eye.)

Wow, so far, I've written more than a page! (Yes, I am a baka. NO, you didn't need to tell me that.)

Bakura was mad.

"What a waste of time!" he yelled, throwing random things from his soul room. "Do you know how many things I can bloody mangle (1) for every Ra stinking word you scrawl on that pretty stationary paper of yours!"

Ryou winced.

"Bakura, could you please calm down? I'm trying to work here."

"Then what kind of bloody teacher from hell would force his students to do homework OVER THE SUMMER! We don't bloody damn have to!"

Ryou sighed, put his pen down, and rubbed the sides of his head vigorously, wishing for a headache pill that could cure the tantrums of an over-enthusiastic yami. None of that Tylenol or Advil stuff helped.

"Ano, Midori–sensei wanted us to have extra practice over Summer Break, you know, to practice our English–"

"PRACTICE OUR ENGLISH!"

Ryou winced again, covering his ears, knowing that even that would not help. His yami was yelling through his head, his soul room, his essence, not a physical, full-bodied yell that could be stifled.

"PRACTICE OUR ENGLISH! Even after we've lived in England (2) for so long, we still have to PRACTICE OUR ENGLISH!"

The poor hikari was about to explain the situation further when the phone rang. He sighed and picked up the phone.

"Moshi moshi?"

"Hey Ryou! It's me, Yugi. I just wanted to know if you were free to come over to my house to play some Duel Monsters (3) with me and Jounouchi."

Ryou felt his yami perk up at the mention of Duel Monsters.

"Uh, sure Yugi. Just give me a few minutes so I can send the summer assignment off."

"'K, Ryou, I'll see you around!"

Ryou picked up his pen where he left it and looked at the piece of paper that he had drawn out of the English teacher's tissue box a few days ago. He raised his eyebrow at the strange address but wrote it down on the top of the envelope anyway and placed it carefully into his pocket along with his dueling deck. He sighed and stretched, muttering about insane yamis and the trouble they caused. The white-haired bishounen stepped outside and dropped the envelope at the mailbox next to the door and continued on the trek toward the Game Shop. Later, when the postman came to pick up the mail, the envelope was placed on the outside of the bundle of mail which then had a rubber band put on it to keep it together. On the envelope were the words:

Ron Weasley
The Burrow
Ottery St. Catchpole (4)

Harry Potter stared dumbfounded at the envelope in his hand. His uncle, Vernon Dursley, glared at him menacingly for an explanation.

"Honestly, Uncle Vernon, I have no idea who this is."

Just then, Dudley Dursley poked his ugly fat face into the main hall where Uncle Vernon was simmering at the black-haired boy and grinned malevolently, pleased to see that Harry was in trouble for what seemed like the umpteenth time that summer.

"Who's it from, scar-face?"

Harry twitched at the insult and longed to hex Dudley so badly, well, let's not go into that. He took a deep breath and tried to ignore it and read the name in the corner out loud to his impatient uncle.

"Er, Mr. Yugi Motou from Domino-"

Dudley gasped. "Yugi Motou? Yugi Motou, THE 'King of Games'?"

Harry had no idea what Dudley was ranting about this time.

"He's like world famous! Waitasec," Dudley's piggy eyes narrowed. "Why would a celebrity like him write to a guy like you?" What thought Dudley's mind could concoct struck him causing him to exclaim, "Maybe that letter is my letter and you stole it, if so, then give it back!"

He made a furious swipe at the envelope and Harry dodged out of the way holding the paper high out of reach from the boy's pudgy arm.

"Nope." Harry read the middle of the envelope. "It says here: Mr. Harry Potter, 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey. It's mine."

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia relax visibly. Knowing that his relatives hated anything that had to do with magic or wizards of any sort, the way this address was so "out-of-the-ordinarily" placed with nothing strange around it, proved that a witch or a wizard did not write it. He recollected the first letter he'd ever received. It was from Hogwarts, and the address on it was quite exact, though a little too much exact. He then smiled, remembering the time Mrs. Weasley tried to send a letter; she had covered the entire thing with stamps, hoping that it was enough postage. However, albeit the normal amount of postage need for international deliverage, nothing was out of the ordinary on this one.

Seeing that he could not defeat the young wizard, Dudley left the entrance hall to the kitchen, grumbling about the unfairness of life, to see if he could scrounge some more food from the fridge. Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon followed later amidst mutterings about why someone that famous would want to contact "that good for nothing", leaving Harry alone to ponder in the hall. He was perplexed on why this famous person would want to contact him and how he knew about he, Harry Potter, and his address.

Maybe this person is a wizard, he mused, but no, Dudley hates anything that had to do with "his kind"...

It was only after Uncle Vernon, who was going to another grueling work's day at the drills, snarled at Harry suspiciously that what was he going to do, mope around the house all day? that Harry moved up to his room, still holding the unopened envelope.

Ryou arrived at the Game Shop to see Tea enter the store at the same time.

"Oh hello, Tea," he said in his ever-so-polite way, "I didn't know you were coming as well."

Tea turned her head toward Ryou and replied sharply, "Well of course I'm coming. We're all friends, so why shouldn't I come?"

Ryou sweat-dropped and made a quick comeback with, "Well, I didn't know if everyone was coming. Yugi just said that him, Jounouchi, and me were going to duel a bit; he didn't exactly specify if anyone else was invited." Switching topics, he asked, "So, how was that trip to New York that you took last week?"

"It was really great," gushed the friendship-lover as they entered the shop, "We went to so many places and it was really, really, really fun. They had this great dancing place at this really, really cool street with lot's of cute shops and stuff and this guy said I beat the top champ there, but he was really mean so I told him about friendship, about my friends, about how we always stick together in time of hardships, and that..."

Ryou tuned Tea's blabbering out, a useful skill he learned around the time he met her. He turned around to see Honda, Shizuka, and Otogi standing next to one of the glass displays and saw that the two males were hitting on the one clueless female. Jounouchi seemed oblivious to this for once. Ryou sweat-dropped again. They were acting quite immature, really, he thought. The white-haired one jumped a bit when a hand tapped him on his shoulder.

"Oh sorry, Ryou, I didn't mean to scare you," said a short boy with tri-colored hair.

"That's okay, Yugi, I thought that you were...well, never mind."

Yugi gave him a concerned look. He knew what Ryou was about to say, but didn't press him about it and changed the topic quickly.

"So, what did you think about the English assignment?"

"My yami was furious...it seems that he doesn't like wasting his time indoors writing. But it was nice to be able to write to someone in England, don't you think so? Especially since I come from there. My 'pen pal's' name is Ron Weasley."

"Mine's Harry Potter... I sent it off three days ago, and I should be expecting a reply any day now. Jou and Honda haven't even started yet, but Tea sent hers last week in New York, and I think that she has a reply from hers! Let's go ask her now!"

Tea was writing another letter when Yugi and Ryou ran up to her.

"Hey, Tea, did you get a response from that girl, Hermyown Grainer, you picked?"

"Yeah Yugi, but her name's Hermione Granger,' Tea corrected. "Did you want to see the letter? She's really nice, and said that she didn't mind the fact that she had to mail to Japan instead of America. And also, she said she wants me to teach her some Japanese!"

"Oh, that's really nice of her then," said Yugi, absentmindedly shuffling his deck.

"Yugi," Ryou began, "Do you think that we will have to continue this 'assignment' of ours throughout the school year? You know how Midori-sensei is."

Yugi pondered about it for a second.

"Actually Ryou, to tell you the truth, I think it will be rather neat if it continued." Yugi smiled. "It's a nice way to practice our English and stuff, you know..."

A loud ringing startled the two of them. It was Tea's cell phone.

Tea gave a loud sigh and flipped it open.

"Moshi moshi, this is Tea."

A pause came from her while Jounouchi, Honda, and Otogi bickered in the background.

"Oh hi mom! What? Oh, I'm at Yugi's! What? You want me to come home? But I told my friends I was going to stay...oh, there's still stuff to unpack? Oh, okay, I'll be back in a few minutes. Oh, ok, ok, ok, bye mom."

She hung up and sighed.

"Yugi, I'm so sorry, I can't stay. My mom wants me to come home and finish unpacking the rest of the stuff. No, don't protest," she said, raising her hand, interrupting Yugi, "This is something I have to do. Besides, all that jet lag is making me tired," she stifled a yawn, "so I'll just finish this one little letter up really quick and that'll do. Then I really have to leave."

Just then, a loud crash came from around the place Jounouchi and Honda stood. Tea jumped, apparently shocked, knocking over her chair, her signature scrawling messily all over the page as her pen went flying into the air, hitting Ryou smack in the middle of the forehead.

"Jou!" The friendship crazed loon screamed. "I was just finishing my letter up when you ruined it! I can't believe even though we're good friends, you still have to act so immature!" She whacked the blond on the head with the envelope and stomped out the door grumbling.

Yugi sweat-dropped. He turned around to pick up the chair that Tea had knocked over in her fright only to yelp with dismay as he saw the mess of glass and random Duel Monster cards on the floor.

"Jounouchi! That was one of my grandfather's best display cases...Ano...Ryou-chan?"

Everyone's attention turned to the wandering hikari whose hand was slapped on his forehead where Tea's pen had hit him. A trickle of blood seeped out from the wound.

"You okay?"

Ryou smiled somewhat dazedly and took his hand off his head to inspect the damage in front of the mirror. He muttered, "Meh, Bakura could've done worse..."

His eyes widened.

"Goodness, is that pen ink on my forehead? Is that blood? Is that my blood? Oh dear."

He fainted.

The rest of the Yugi-tachi who were present and not lying on the floor gaped at Ryou. A moment of silence ensued only to be broken as Tea burst into the game shop, muttering under her breath at the stupidity of her friends, snatched up her fountain pen that had hit poor Ryou on the head and stepped on the said bishounen causing her to squeal her apology and run out the door looking extremely distraught. Of course, as Ryou was currently unconscious at the time, he could not forgive the friendship loon for what she had done, not that he would've.

All things considered, it took a while for Ryou to wake up with his yami laughing at his hikari's predicament in the dark corridors of his mind.

BR1) "Bloody Mangle" The reason why I used the wording for this phrase was that last year in Youth Orchestra, I had a stand partner who was from England. He used the phrase, "Bloody Hell" a lot, and everyone thought that was awesome. So yeah... U
BR2) I'm not so sure if Ryou even lived in England. I only assumed that because of his accent, but that was just a dub voice. However, I know his dad was an archaeologist of some sorts and Ryou was a transfer student, so maybe, just maybe, he could've been...
BR3) Yes, I'm well aware that the Japanese Version calls it Magic and Wizards or something along the lines of that, but I call it Duel Monsters. I don't know, I might change my mind, but who knows?
BR4) I have no idea what the actual full address of the Weasleys are, because I found it from the fourth HP book, but if you know, enlighten me.

More author's notes: This chapter was much longer originally; however, it was too long for reading comfort, so I divided it into two separate chapters. Anyway, this chapter is really "meh"-ish, but I really had to cut it down...Arrrrrggghhhh... Well, it could be worse...nods

Relevant and interesting stuff in this chapter not including this: 65.27 (with significant figures)

That's pathetic...