If I Smile And Don't Believe, Hoshiko

Summary: After a mental breakdown following Hao's untimely death, Anna seems to have lost all of her memories except of her beloved Hao…one night, when she attempts to escape from the En Inn where Manta has been watching over her, she is stopped by none other than Eliza, who stops her tears and begins to act as a mother for her. But as she grows more and more dependent on this new, "mother," Anna's mind drifts farther and farther away..and all Yoh can do is watch. Will Faust be able to help he and Eliza give Anna up as the daughter they never had, their "Hoshiko?" …or will they play onto the illusion and let Anna die?

Disclaimer: The tortured, vertically-challenged, exhausted authoress does not own Shaman King so please don't hurt her. That would be rude and insulting to Faust and Eliza and Frankensteiny. You don't want to upset the poor dears.

A/N: I love this plot! I wanted to have a main character, but it frequently switches between many characters like Anna, Yoh, Eliza, and Faust…Yay for Faust and Eliza on their way to stardom!

FaustEliza: Damn straight!

Neko-Neko Faust VIII: My god, Faust you are a sexy beast!

Eliza: Second to that!

Faust: I am what I is!

All: big cheesy smile Have fun with this story! 'Tis dramatic and angsty but the Author Notes shall brighten your gloomy day! And please convince Neko-Neko Faust VIII to cease doing her author notes in script! 

Chapter Six: Please Don't Break The Dream

My dreams have basically come true, my dearest Johann and I have a precious little daughter…we're back home…everything is wonderful again.

I'm worried about Anna.

How can she smile with all those tears in her eyes, and say that she's alright? Johann knows she's growing comfortable here, but in a resigned way. As if she knows this pain in her heart will shrink, and then come back as a giant.

"Mommy!" she cheered happily one cold morning.

It's about two weeks from Christmas…I don't think she's ever celebrated Christmas…we'll show her!

"What is it, Hoshiko-chan?" I asked, ignoring the iron grip she had on the hem of my dress. She really is a strong girl.

"When is Satan Claus coming?"

I stared at her, mouth wide open and my eyes got huge. I know this from the look on Hoshi-chan's face. I probably scared her.

But I guess mispronounciation (at least I hope that's what it was….) is just something children do…I laughed slightly, albeit a little nervously, and gently told her the truth.

"No…" I sighed. "Santa Claus. SANTA Claus….Satan is a bad thing to talk about, little girls aren't supposed to say that kind of thing, Hoshiko…alright?" I rubbed her shoulder.

She looked up at me apologetically, "No, don't be sorry, Hoshiko! It was just a mistake anyway. Just remember the difference, alright? Santa Claus…not Satan."

I could hear Johann nearly giggling-in a macabre sort of way-in the background. I could tell he had probably been injecting some morphine into his arm…as a child he had been scared of needles, but now…

He wasn't, on the outside, the Johann I had once known…when I was alive….but on the inside, he was still the same…still the same prince. My knight Johann.

And I could tell he was worrying about me…but he worried about me in the way that made me almost fear him. You wouldn't like to know him…when he's angry. Of course I am never afraid of him, he would rather kill himself than hurt me…but I'm afraid for Hoshiko…

It's funny how I don't call her "Anna" anymore…

I'm afraid that one day, he'll snap and finally break the illusion.

My illusion.

My only illusion.

My consolation.

My lullaby.

…Please don't break our dream, Johann…

Because I know you want it just as much as I do.