You Are the Only One
Summary – DG, Post Hogwarts, a tad AU-ish. What happens when your marriage does not turn out the way you envisioned? Would you stay, knowing that life would be a bit worse? Or would you cut and leave? Most importantly does true love last a lifetime? Ginny and Draco struggle to find out the answers before it is too late.
DISCLAIMER – Anything you recognise is not mine.
Part Four
Love is a gift, not an obligation – Salma Hayek in Fools Rush In
In October, the weather was generally tricky, but today it was warm and sunny, with a wide blue sky that brought tears to Ginny's eyes. Then again, the slightest thing brought tears to Ginny's eyes these days– even the smell of the lemon tree in the garden at The Burrow made her sob. It was the bloody hormones gone amok, making her feel everything so much more intensely than ever before.
"Ginevra?"
Ginny decided not to take notice of the voice, to pretend she did not hear it as she walked down the streets of Hogsmead. She was intent on shopping for treats, not tricks, for the Halloween celebration she had planned in her humble home for her son. (She was hoping that Fred and George would not drop by on Halloween night as they had insisted to entertain their nephew.)
Rafael was especially looking forward to this Halloween because, unlike last year, he got to spend Halloween with his mother. His grandmother Molly, had even promised him a 'Prince Charming' costume, and he so longed to wear to school in two days time for the Halloween celebrations. Rafael had tried it on yesterday when Molly had come by to the apartment with it since Ginny could no longer travel by floo network to The Burrow.
Molly reasoned that it was not safe for Ginny or the baby especially with the pregnancy already in its sixth month. Ginny's mother had been surprisingly calm about the pregnancy, but had demanded to know who the father was. Ginny, unable to lie to her mother, had told her the truth.
It was her father who had taken the news rather hard, retreating to his study for days until Molly cleverly pointed out that this pregnancy would most likely bring Ginny and Draco back together. After all, Ginny had been complaining for the past few weeks that Draco seemed to be postponing the divorce proceedings, citing a hectic business schedule as the reason. Arthur had conceded, and thus come to his senses, going back to showing Ginny the love he had always felt.
Other than her parents and Hermione, no one else, not even her brothers, knew who the father of her child was. Ginny was determined to continue with the divorce, regardless of how difficult things would get. She knew, deep down, that revealing the identity of the father would only complicate things further.
So there she was, walking along a Hogsmead street at a ridiculously brisk pace, trying to ignore the voice calling out her name, trying to forget the way only that voice could make her name sound so damn alluring. Ginny did not realise how close to her that voice had gotten, until the man grabbed her arm, his fingers clasped around it in a vice-like grip.
"Ow! Let go of me, you-"
Draco abruptly let go of the woman as she turned around, the size of her swollen stomach startling him. Ginny stumbled backward from being released so suddenly, but managed to steady herself.
Draco had not seen Ginny in some time. He had not seen how very pregnant she looked now. If he were honest with himself, he would know that he had actually been trying to avoid her, not wanting to face her and face the fact that she might possibly be carrying someone else's baby.
Ever since she had sent him that very impersonal letter via owl post telling him that she was pregnant and thought he should know since he was bound to find out sooner or later, he had kept away from her. She had not even bothered to mention the identity of the baby's father. Nevertheless, as he looked at her, Draco felt something strange, the distinct certainty that she was carrying his baby. However, he really had no clue.
Ginny looked as beautiful as ever, at least in his estimation. True, she was wearing an old smock over a large blue t-shirt and leggings. Her normally loose curls had turned to ringlets due to the recent summer humidity that never quite faded for her due to the hot flashes she tended to get during the pregnancy. Despite the heat, Ginny's pale skin looked creamy and cool.
"What do you want?" Ginny snapped irritably, wanting to complete her shopping within her lunch hour so that she could get back to work on time.
Were those circles under Draco's eyes? She wondered, studying him. It had been some time since she had seen him, as he had been out of town on business for quite some time. Thus, he had not even been able to spend the past few weekends with Rafael.
Draco's face was flushed from the raw weather and there were leaf fragments in his pale hair. Ginny found herself resisting the urge to reach up and brush them out, running her fingers through his fine hair. It was the bloody hormones making her feel this way, she reasoned, nothing more.
"What do I want?" Draco repeated. He could not stand the tension anymore. He could not live like this – hiding from her, avoiding her, not even being able to see his own son, not knowing the truth.
"You know what I want, Gin? I want to know whose baby that is. Is it mine? Is it?" He bent down so that only she would hear what he had said.
"Okay," Ginny said, drawing herself in, steeling herself, "you want the truth? It's not yours. That's all you need to know," Ginny told him, flushed with colour. Lying was not in her nature, but it could spring out of necessity and circumstance, in times just like these.
Each nasty syllable of her words dropped into the road between them with a loud clatter. Draco looked at her with his clear gray eyes, and Ginny felt something absolutely bizarre in her fingers and toes, a sensation so threatening and strange that it made her want to turn and run away from him, even though she could not possibly have managed that.
Draco's face was pale and it was not easy to read his expression. He had clammed up, retreated into a cocoon of safety, hidden away behind his immaculately nonchalant mask.
"So can I see Rafael this weekend?" he asked, as if something between them had not changed forever, as if he did not feel that he had been robbed. He felt as if everything he had ever tried in life had gone wrong.
"You can come and pick him up on Saturday. And when can we get on with signing the divorce papers? Lynn is getting impatient." Ginny hoped that talking about things of grave matter would make the sour taste her lie left in her mouth go away.
"Soon. By next week," he answered, his mind elsewhere.
Ginny excused herself, blaming her long shopping list, and walked off. Even though she did not turn around to look, she knew Draco had not walked away. This was the way it had to be, she told herself. She would be removed from him forever. She would be distant as stars, unhurt and untouched, forever and ever. She did not look back, because if she did, she would have discovered how much she wanted him, for all the good it would ever do her.
Ginny remembered one Halloween, in her seventh year, when all she had wanted was to be with Draco. It had been no easy feat finding the right gift for someone who had everything, but Ginny had managed.
She had decided on a silver compass she had discovered in the attic at The Burrow. It was an old fashioned piece, a simple token of appreciation for his for taking time off his Order training to spend the evening with her. Ginny had vowed to give it to him at the ball that night.
She was certain by then, that with Draco, things were different; this was real. That was why Ginny had been so nervous; this time it mattered.
She remembered, in painstaking detail, the black dress robes she had worn that night. They dipped low in the back, revealing not only the small of her back but all of it. She had even let her hair down, something she rarely did, letting her curls take a soft and glamorous shape.
"You look terrific," Luna had told her as she came down the stairs leading to the Great Hall. Ginny shrugged, too anxious to respond.
She remembered that while everyone else had been busy dancing, laughing, and eating; Ginny had been busy watching for Draco to enter through the Great doors.
As he stood there, in the crowded hall, Ginny could not have loved him more. He came to her and bent down so that he could whisper in her ear, "you look beautiful."
That night was one from her dreams. She wrapped her arms around Draco, content in knowing that he was the one. Ginny could not remember ever being happier than she was when dancing with him, and by midnight, she was ready to leave. They had planned to go down to the lake to be alone.
This Halloween could not be any more different. Ginny was sure she never could have imagined that such a Halloween would be in her future that dreamy night. Then again, Ginny had relinquished any control she had on fate by falling in love with Draco Malfoy all those years ago.
So here she was, holding onto Rafael's hand and guiding him down the street with the light from her wand. The trick-or-treaters were out in full force; wandering down the High and Main Street, dressed as ghosts, vampires, and werewolves.
It was as if children had taken over Hogsmeade village; they were everywhere, crossing streets and lawns, running through the darkness with lanterns, and bags filled with candy. Rafael, though, looked every bit the part of a dashing young prince.
In fact, the pair had been stopped by an elderly woman and her two grandchildren – she beamed at Rafael before turning to Ginny, "a Venus child," she said, more of a statement than a question.
Ginny nodded, not so much surprised at the old witch's accuracy, but by an overwhelming sense of déjà vu. When Rafael was been a baby, Ginny had gotten such comments quite frequently.
The elderly witch must have mistaken Ginny's momentary surprise for confusion because she went on to explain, "such pleasant and well balanced features, oh, and that smile – definitely born in the month of the planet Venus!" Then, after an exchange of tricks, the groups parted ways.
"What's that mean, Mummy? That I'm a Venus child?" Rafael asked, after considering it a while for himself.
"It means," Ginny explained with a great deal of tenderness in her voice, "that the Goddess of Love, Venus, gave you to me and your Daddy." Ginny smiled down at her son, and found that he looked even more curious.
Rafael reached out and patted Ginny's large, round belly, "did she also give you this baby?"
She shook her head no, restraining her emotions before speaking - otherwise she would wind up standing in the middle of the street, crying her eyes out.
"We can't be sure, she began, "not until the baby is born." Rafael nodded, tightening his grip on his mother's hand as they grew nearer to their home.
"I'm glad it's a she baby," he added as they reached the door, looking up at his mother with such earnest gladness that she sat down on their front stoop and began to cry for good.
"I love you," she sobbed, shaking as Rafael dropped his treat bag and patted his mother's shoulder the way she did to him whenever he was upset.
"I know, mummy. I love you too," he said, smiling as his mother pulled him into a close embrace.
It was then they both felt it; like a wave cresting inside of her. Rafael backed away from his mother, staring incredulously at her stomach.
"She hit me," he said, bewildered. Ginny began to laugh, shaking her head, tears still running down her face. She was so taken aback that she could barely speak.
"No, sweetie," she laughed, "your sister is just kicking and moving around. She's showing you how much she likes you. Here…" Ginny smiled broadly as she took Rafael's small hand and placed it flat on her stomach. Soon after came a gentle and almost inquisitive series of tap, tap, taps. You are here, Ginny thought, You are really here.
Rafael's face broke into a beautiful smile. "She kicked. She liked me, Mum."
Ginny nodded, smiling through her tears.
"We should name her," she suggested, getting up to unlock the front door.
As Rafael stepped into the apartment with Ginny right behind him, he turned to face her, "can we name her Venus?"
Ginny laughed at her son's untainted and entirely contagious enthusiasm. "Maybe, honey, Maybe."
After Ginny tucked Rafael into bed and read a bedtime story to both him and the baby – the baby was supposedly especially sensitive to the mother's voice while in the womb – she made herself a cup of hot mocha and settled down in the living room. She made herself comfortable on the couch in front of the fireplace, tugging a ratty quilt over herself.
Sipping her hot drink, Ginny did what was becoming a routine; she talked to the baby. She told her unborn daughter about her grandparents, about her older brother, about her father who was a good man, about life, and about love. Here you are, thought Ginny, cupping her hands around her belly. Wow, Ginny thought. A daughter, for sure.
Ginny woke up some time later, blinking into the darkness, judging the length of her sleep by the state of the fire, it had burned down to mere embers. Ginny reasoned that she had fallen asleep on the couch, yet something had woken her up. It took a full minute for her to realise that someone was knocking on the door.
Ginny slowly hefted herself from the couch, hoping that Rafael would not be awoken.
A glance at the clock on the wall confirmed the ungodly hour; it was one o'clock. Racking her brain for a potential visitor, Ginny peered through the peephole. Snapping her head away from the door, Ginny blinked in surprise and hesitated before fully opening the door.
"Hey…" She stared up at Draco.
His red-rimmed grey eyes shone too brightly to be considered healthy as he stared down at her. His hair was a ruffled mess, his suit rumpled as if he had been wearing it for too long.
"Tell me it's late. Tell me I should go home." He waved his hands vaguely in the direction of the street, swaying slightly.
"It is late. One in the morning, really," Ginny pointed out matter-of-factly even though she suspected he was drunk and longed only to hold onto him and guide him to the nearest settee.
"Can I come in?" he asked, suddenly feeling weak in his knees. A longing that made his bones ache flooded him as he observed the way Ginny's breasts swayed in her blouse.
Ginny stepped slightly aside, letting him brush past her before he entered. He reeked of Firewhiskey, confirming her suspicions. "Rafael's asleep, you know."
"I came to see you."
She looked up at him sharply before looking away. "I'll make us some coffee."
"No," Draco put his hand around her slender wrist, " sit with me…. Just sit with me for a while."
Ginny obligingly followed him to the couch and sat down beside him. He stretched one arm out and behind her.
"Crummy day, eh?" he ventured
She nodded.
"When do you think it'll stop being so painful?" he asked, breathing deeply.
Ginny shrugged, she was sleepy and confused. "Still waiting for that day…"
"I'm going to stop asking you to come back. It makes feel too pathetic," he mused, flashing Ginny a wry, weary smile.
"I just wish we had turned out differently…" Ginny murmured, hoping just this once she would not cry.
"Let's stop talking," Draco said quietly. She nodded.
He shifted slightly towards her, "Could you just… put your head against me the way you used to?"
Ginny did not even hesitate. She moved closer to him, resting her head against his hard chest, leaning into him, putting her hand flat on his white linen shirt. She breathed him in – the essence of Draco Malfoy. Through everything, she could smell the musky, grassy smell of his skin.
When she had first left Draco, Ginny had packed her favourite shirt of his and would occasionally wrap it around herself if only to have something of his around. Ginny never wore it outside though, wanting to keep his scent in it for as long as possible. She remembered one night, when she had missed him sorely, that she had buttoned the shirt over a pillow and hugged it to her as though she were still a schoolgirl.
Tears welled up in her eyes as he rested his chin gently on her head.
"Are you crying, Gin?"
She shook her head in denial as he kissed her forehead. Placing his index finger under her chin, he tilted her face upwards so that he could look into her eyes.
"You're crying," he stated.
He then bent his head to hers and kissed her, slowly, with a great amount of tenderness. He felt himself arrived, come home, safe to shore as he moved even closer towards her so that he was drawn up against the warmth of the soft curves beneath her blouse. The pleasure was so great, he groaned with gratitude.
It was no surprise then that she responded as deeply as she had on the evening he had first kissed her. She was sixteen then, and convinced she could never fall in love, not really, not the way she was supposed to, head over heels, crazy and rash, all or nothing. Even now, she laced strong fingers around the nape of his neck and sighed contentedly into his mouth.
As Draco's hand moved along her shoulders, spine and onto her belly, a slight kick from the baby jolted the both of them to their senses. They broke apart, staring at each other for an interminable moment.
"We shouldn't be doing this," she said just as he murmured, dazedly, "the baby moved."
Ginny stood up then, abruptly, quite swiftly for a woman of her size. "You should go, Draco." Though she said it firmly, she was inwardly experiencing an unrivalled state of emotional exhaustion.
Draco stood as well, nodding in agreement.
As she opened the door for him, he bent down to kiss her on the cheek, "Happy Anniversary, Gin," he murmured, before walking off and disapparating.
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Kudos to Prettiedaisies for her wonderful beta-ing!