If I Smile And Don't Believe, Hoshiko

Summary: After a mental breakdown following Hao's untimely death, Anna seems to have lost all of her memories except of her beloved Hao…one night, when she attempts to escape from the En Inn where Manta has been watching over her, she is stopped by none other than Eliza, who stops her tears and begins to act as a mother for her. But as she grows more and more dependent on this new, "mother," Anna's mind drifts farther and farther away..and all Yoh can do is watch. Will Faust be able to help he and Eliza give Anna up as the daughter they never had, their "Hoshiko?" …or will they play onto the illusion and let Anna die?

Disclaimer: The tortured, vertically-challenged, exhausted authoress does not own Shaman King so please don't hurt her. That would be rude and insulting to Faust and Eliza and Frankensteiny. You don't want to upset the poor dears.

A/N: I love this plot! I wanted to have a main character, but it frequently switches between many characters like Anna, Yoh, Eliza, and Faust…Yay for Faust and Eliza on their way to stardom!

Faust+Eliza: Damn straight!

Neko-Neko Faust VIII: My god, Faust you are a sexy beast!

Eliza: Second to that!

Faust: I am what I is!

All: big cheesy smile Have fun with this story! 'Tis dramatic and angsty but the Author Notes shall brighten your gloomy day! And please convince Neko-Neko Faust VIII to cease doing her author notes in script! 

Chapter Nine: Dead Flicker- Hoshiko POV

The bathtub is so much fun! Poking at the bubbles and everything, like a pixie in those stories mommy and daddy read me!

It's summer now…I figured out daddy is a doctor…but I'm still very confused, if mommy is dead then why is she here? Dead people go to heaven.

Anyway, sometimes in the bath I turn the shower head on because I want it to be like a tropical rain forest; daddy told me about those, they're in Brazil and other far-away places…I wonder what Japan is like?… well, he said in tropical rain forests, they are waterfalls lots of feet tall, and that there might be pixie princesses or fairies!

When I go under the shower, I feel like I'm a pixie princess going through a waterfall! Even though mommy warned me it would flood the bathroom (A/N: I think I did that a couple of times when I was little…00 Except I wanted to flood my entire house so I could free the animals in the zoo…) but I didn't listen!

Strangely, I feel kind of sad when I feel the water touch my skin…like I miss someone touching me, making me feel warm. And those names keep coming back…

"Hao."

"Yoh."

And then…. "Hao to Yoh o wasurenai kara…."

I don't know what that means, but I don't know Japanese…my mommy and daddy are Ger….Germany….

Oh…I forgot. They're German, so that would make me that too. When I first lived with mommy and daddy I was Japanese, isn't that funny?

"Hoshiko, are you okay? You're taking an awful lot of time in the bath, dear." I heard my mommy call me from the livingroom.

The heat from the bath made me feel like I was wrapped in a bead of magic dust…I closed my eyes and I thought for a long time.

My heart….I feel like I'm waking up but I'm sleeping aren't I? There's a real me and a fake me…

I felt something very weird. Like I grew up…like a thousand years but I'm still a baby…

Even after that.

Hao and Yoh…it's not so foolish to think about them anymore, is it? I don't know who they are, but I know my mom and dad sure don't like it when I talk about them.

But it's usually mommy who reacts, she told me real gently not to talk about them. Daddy usually looks at mommy, sadly, like she's not here, and floating away…

Am I floating away?

…Help me mommy. Help me daddy. I don't want to grow up. I don't want to grow up.

I don't want to be old.

…But I'm not young anymore….

And why is it that?

Now I feel it, like a sad spark…

Electrocuting me.

I feel like I'm two people…like a monster with two heads….

"Dead flicker." I said as I went under the water.

A/N: We're getting closer to the climax…ever closer, about a few more chapters to go….same with Aisubeki Dearest. Then I think I'll start working on Shaman Idol 2….