If I Smile And Don't Believe, Hoshiko

Summary: After a mental breakdown following Hao's untimely death, Anna seems to have lost all of her memories except of her beloved Hao…one night, when she attempts to escape from the En Inn where Manta has been watching over her, she is stopped by none other than Eliza, who stops her tears and begins to act as a mother for her. But as she grows more and more dependent on this new, "mother," Anna's mind drifts farther and farther away..and all Yoh can do is watch. Will Faust be able to help he and Eliza give Anna up as the daughter they never had, their "Hoshiko?" …or will they play onto the illusion and let Anna die?

Disclaimer: The tortured, vertically-challenged, exhausted authoress does not own Shaman King so please don't hurt her. That would be rude and insulting to Faust and Eliza and Frankensteiny. You don't want to upset the poor dears.

A/N: I love this plot! I wanted to have a main character, but it frequently switches between many characters like Anna, Yoh, Eliza, and Faust…Yay for Faust and Eliza on their way to stardom!

Faust+Eliza: Damn straight!

Neko-Neko Faust VIII: My god, Faust you are a sexy beast!

Eliza: Second to that!

Faust: I am what I is!

All: big cheesy smile Have fun with this story! 'Tis dramatic and angsty but the Author Notes shall brighten your gloomy day! And please convince Neko-Neko Faust VIII to cease doing her author notes in script! 

Chapter Twelve: The Sleeping Anna- Eliza POV

I could hear her playing with the bubbles in the bathtub, laughing merrily as if nothing had happened…as if nothing had changed.

I feel resigned. This can't last for long. This paradise is already floating away, and in my heart I know I'm unable to stop it.

But damn it all, she is my child. Hoshiko, is my baby…I know that she isn't my child by birth, but she may as well be…I would die for her.

She's my baby.

True, this is a lie, but what can you do…

When you are caught in a beautiful dream you can't and won't wake up from?

What about you, Johann? I am your dream, why can't you wake up from me?

Why can't you let go?

Because I won't either. As long as I'm breathing, I'll keep living this wonderful dream, with the someone just for me. I can't help it, the illusion is a beautiful one.

Just like my little Hoshiko, my sleeping Little Anna….

How I hate that name.

I could hear her talking in her sleep from her bedroom, "Yoh…." she moaned softly under her light breath.

Sometimes, she makes me want to cry, when she remembers things in her dreams. I wonder if she can see their faces, I wonder if she can touch them….follow their sweet musty scent….or talk to them.

They can do things you cannot.

They be dead and alive at the same time.

They are beautiful.

They are liars and demons….

They are the sweet dream that she never wants to wake up from.

I shouldn't disturb them.

Yoh and Hao and Japan are all of her dreams, not mine.

The more fun I have with Hoshiko, the sadder I become, knowing this cannot last. I know I've warped her. I know I've made her crazy. But I'm making myself crazy too. And all my poor Johann can do is watch….

"Mommy, I had a nightmare!" Hoshiko screamed from the darkness of her room.

I ran in, smiling gently for her, not showing how hurt I was….my Hoshiko couldn't hurt me, but I could hurt myself.

I can only hurt myself by hurting her. Making her crazy.

The end is next and I know it's coming….

Johann….please save me….

Save Hoshiko.

Our sleeping little Anna.

A/N: This fic is close to ending as well! After this I suppose I'll work on Shaman Idol 2! Keep reviewing, dear –er-reviewers!

PS: I am so sick of the word Smile and Dearest that every time I type them or hear them I want to burn the person that said them. Usually it is myself. Damn it all! I just typed it up there again! .

Farewell until I update once more!