The Insanity of it All Chapter 1: Hey, Give Me a Hand with, a lord of the rings fanfic

Disclaimer: The characters and the places there of belong to Tolkien. No profit is being made. Nightshade and Alexa are original though.

Rating: PG

Character's: Haldir, Legolas, Alexa(oc), and Nightshade(oc).

Cameo Character's: Rúmil and Orophin. Gimli as well.

Author's Note: Please note that these short stories have nothing to do with my other story I'm a What. Feedback of any kind is much appreciated.

Hey, Give Me a Hand with this Braid.

It had been a trying day for all of them a great friend had been lost. Eight of the original nine plus two 'stow-a-ways' trudged along crestfallen. Their final destination: The Golden Woods, where the Lady of Light dwells.

All was silent, they had been walking for what seemed like hours until Alexa and Nightshade spoke up.

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No"

"Are we there yet?"

"For heaven sakes Nightshade do not start that."

"Are we there yet?"

"Nightshade I'm warning you!"

"Are…"

Alexa's right eye twitches.

"Don't. Even. Think. About. It."

"…we there yet?"

Alexa threw her head back in annoyance. She then smacked her forehead with her left hand.

"I can't take this anymore! Every time we're on our way to a specific location that is all you continue ask. Non stop. Every freaking minute. It's enough to drive even the most sensible and level headed elf to the brink of insanity." Alexa's hands flailed about as she ranted. Then she paused and looked glaringly at Nightshade. Nightshade opened her mouth.

"…."

"Don't you dare! Don't you even start that sentence. DON'T."

"Are we there yet?"

Alexa gave a great shriek in total annoyance.

"That's it I'm going up front. This is absurd. Namáriё."

Several hours later and over fifty-thousand are-we-there-yets, the Company finally reached the Golden Woods. They then continued on crossing the Nimrodel. Everyone sat down to rest and the song of Legolas eased them a bit. Well, that is until he finished and the discussion was started about where it was best to sleep. It was at this time he had chosen to climb a tree to sleep in.

Alexa and Nightshade watched from the sidelines as this occurred. Legolas had but barely touched the lowest brought when a commanding voice bellowed "Daro". The law of gravity did its job as Legolas dropped back to earth in surprise and fear. He shrank against the bole of the tree. Nightshade tried desperately not to laugh but failed horribly.

"Stand still!" He whispered to the others. "Do not move or speak!"

This only caused Nightshade to laugh harder, tears started to rundown her cheeks. Alexa nudged her in the ribs with her elbow.

"Owww. What was that for?"

"Stop being stupid."

"I'm not the one begin stupid…He is."

Nightshade pointed towards Legolas. Alexa rolled her eyes, then whispered to Nightshade.

"We're not alone."

"What? What are you talking about 'we're not alone' of course we're alone."

Alexa grasped Nightshade's chin in her left and turned her face towards the tree's higher branches. Laughter comes from within them. Nightshade's eyes widen.

"Oh."

"Yes. Oh."

They watched as Legolas, Frodo, and Sam ascended a rope attacked to the tree, then diapered from sight in the tree's branches.

"Ah man! Alexa! This is going to take forever!"

"Hey it's your fault you're here in the first place. You should have stayed in Rivendell."

"My fault! Correct me if I'm wrong, but you were supposed to stay there as well."

"I had my reason, I have a responsibility!"

"To who? That old man?"

Alexa looked at Nightshade in shock, her lower lip quivered and her eyes teared. She glared at Nightshade. Her voice lowered and wavered slightly.

"Yes to that 'old man'."

She walked away into the woods. Nightshade looked around her the fellowship that was waiting they were staring at her, their eyes boring into her. A look of great regret covered Nightshade's face, she made to fallow Alexa. Something stopped her. A gloved hand rested on her elbow, she fallowed that hand down to a face with a long beard and mustache the color of rust. Bushy eyebrows came out from under his helmet. It was Gimli.

"Let her be lass, let her be."

His voice was oddly gentle and soft, yet still gruff in a way only Gimli can. She nodded her head and looked down at the ground.

"I can't believe I'm doing this for you. I should have known you wanted something from me when you came and apologized to me. I could tell you where up to no good, you had mischief written all over your face. I should have said no, but no I had to have said yes. You're always so good with words. It's no fair!"

"Quiet you'll wake them! Then we're doomed"

"We're doomed anyway. What does it matter? They'll wake up at dawn and we're dead. It was nice knowing you. See you on the other side, because that's were we will wake up. Mandos here we come."

"Hey, can you give me a hand with this braid? I'm having a bit of trouble with it."

"Hold on."

"Besides Alexa, I thought you told me that you wanted to further your relationship with Haldir. Or did I assume wrong."

"I said further our relationship, not bring closure to what little chance was there, if any."

Alexa crawled carefully around the hobbits and came to Nightshade's right-hand side. She then looked down at Legolas' sleeping form, specifically his hair. It was only half way done. Nightshade had done an odd circular and zigzag design, that once finished would end up as a pony tail on his right side. Nightshade did not stop there though woven randomly in those braids where brightly colored wild flowers. Alexa nearly died.

"Nightshade, he's going to kill you."

"Just help me with this braid will you?"

"NO. You're on your own. That's fire you be playing with. You're getting burned by yourself this time. You need to learn when to much is too much, and that" She points at the flowers. "Is too much."

"But it's such pretty hair. So smooth and soft, and it sparkles. How do they do it?"

Nightshade picks up some loose locks and starts to play with them. Once she finishes playing with the gold tresses she continues to braid.

"I can't believe they're still a sleep. They're like rocks. Nothing can wake them I thought elves where light sleepers"

"Me too, but apparently not."

Alexa go to return to Haldir's hair when there was a noise the girls tensed, then looked at each other. Alexa raised an eyebrow.

"Was that a snore?"

"I think so."

The noise occurred again but this time louder and a bit longer.

"It must be Gimli, Alexa you heard him in Moria."

"It can't be, he's on the other talen. This sounds close. It's coming from over there."

They left Legolas' hair to fallow the sound to its source. Nightshade starts to giggle, and Alexa gasps in surprise. She kneels down near Haldir's head and gently grips some loose tresses to stroke. She looks from Haldir to Nightshade, then smiles in laughter giggling as well.

"He snores."

"I didn't know elves snored."

"Me neither, but obviously they do."

There was a slight rustle behind them and their posture stiffened. Slowly the two girls turned in that direction then looked up. There stood Haldir's two younger brothers watching them with a look that said they have been caught and their hands where definitely in the cookie jar.

"Oh no Nightshade this is it, we're dead. It has been nice knowing you, you where a good friend to me I owe you much. Oh what a cruel, cruel world!"

Alexa continued to mumble words of regretful woe. Nightshade smacked her lightly on the face

"Snap out of it and pull yourself together Alexa all is not lost. Our mission stands on the edge of a knife if we stray but a little…. Then we're dead."

"Thanks Nightshade that helped a bit."

"No problem."

"Don't do it again… EVER again"

"Ever?"

Alexa's right eye started to twitch but before it did they were interrupted again by an exaggerated cough. They turned their head in that direction.

"Pardon our intrusion but…"

"This is it we're dead."

Alexa closed her eyes tightly and grasped her red pointy hat covering her mouth and nose.

"Do you need help."

Her eyes opened.

"What? Are you crazy are nuts? Nightshade, tell them they can't help. They're the ones that are supposed to wake them up so that all hell brakes loose."

Nightshade looked from Alexa to the elves.

"Got any hair ties?"

Rumil and Orophin looked from Nightshade to each other then grinned as they pulled many thin strips of leather from their tunic pockets.

The sun rose high in the sky waking from a long slumber. All was quiet in the Golden Woods, um… that is until….

"NIGHTSHADE!"

"RUMIL! OROPHIN!"

Three sets of light footsteps could be heard and two soon followed them. Alexa woke up with great confusion.

"What? Wha… What's going on?"

Disclaimer: The characters and the places there of belong to Tolkien. No profit is being made. Nightshade and Alexa are original though.

Rating: PG

Character's: Haldir, Legolas, Alexa(oc), and Nightshade(oc).

Cameo Character's: Rúmil and Orophin. Gimli as well.

Author's Note: Feedback of any kind is much appreciated.

Hey, Give Me a Hand with this Braid.

All was silent, they had been walking for what seemed like hours until Alexa and Nightshade spoke up.

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No"

"Are we there yet?"

"For heaven sakes Nightshade do not start that."

"Are we there yet?"

"Nightshade I'm warning you!"

"Are…"

Alexa's right eye twitches.

"Don't. Even. Think. About. It."

"…we there yet?"

Alexa threw her head back in annoyance. She then smacked her forehead with her left hand.

"…."

"Don't you dare! Don't you even start that sentence. DON'T."

"Are we there yet?"

Alexa gave a great shriek in total annoyance.

"That's it I'm going up front. This is absurd. Namáriё."

"Stand still!" He whispered to the others. "Do not move or speak!"

This only caused Nightshade to laugh harder, tears started to rundown her cheeks. Alexa nudged her in the ribs with her elbow.

"Owww. What was that for?"

"Stop being stupid."

"I'm not the one begin stupid…He is."

Nightshade pointed towards Legolas. Alexa rolled her eyes, then whispered to Nightshade.

"We're not alone."

"What? What are you talking about 'we're not alone' of course we're alone."

Alexa grasped Nightshade's chin in her left and turned her face towards the tree's higher branches. Laughter comes from within them. Nightshade's eyes widen.

"Oh."

"Yes. Oh."

They watched as Legolas, Frodo, and Sam ascended a rope attached to the tree, then disappeared from sight in the tree's branches.

"Ah man! Alexa! This is going to take forever!"

"Hey it's your fault you're here in the first place. You should have stayed in Rivendell."

"My fault! Correct me if I'm wrong, but you were supposed to stay there as well."

"I had my reason, I have a responsibility!"

"To who? That old man?"

Alexa looked at Nightshade in shock, her lower lip quivered and her eyes teared. She glared at Nightshade. Her voice lowered and wavered slightly.

"Yes to that 'old man'."

She walked away into the woods. Nightshade looked around her the fellowship that was waiting they were staring at her, their eyes boring into her. A look of great regret covered Nightshade's face, and she made to fallow Alexa. Something stopped her. A gloved hand rested on her elbow, she followed that hand down to a face with a long beard and mustache the color of rust. Bushy eyebrows came out from under his helmet. It was Gimli.

"Let her be lass, let her be."

His voice was oddly gentle and soft, yet still gruff in a way only Gimli can. She nodded her head and looked down at the ground.

"Quiet you'll wake them! Then we're doomed"

"We're doomed anyway. What does it matter? They'll wake up at dawn and we're dead. It was nice knowing you. See you on the other side, because that's where we will wake up. Mandos here we come."

"Hey, can you give me a hand with this braid? I'm having a bit of trouble with it."

"Hold on."

"Besides Alexa, I thought you told me that you wanted to further your relationship with Haldir. Or did I assume wrong."

"I said further our relationship, not bring closure to what little chance was there, if any."

"Nightshade, he's going to kill you."

"Just help me with this braid will you?"

"NO. You're on your own. That's fire you be playing with. You're getting burned by yourself this time. You need to learn when too much is too much, and that" She points at the flowers. "Is too much."

"But it's such pretty hair. So smooth and soft, and it sparkles. How do they do it?"

Nightshade picks up some loose locks and starts to play with them. Once she finishes playing with the gold tresses she continues to braid.

"I can't believe they're still a sleep. They're like rocks. Nothing can wake them I thought elves where light sleepers"

"Me too, but apparently not."

Alexa was going to return to Haldir's hair when there was a noise the girls tensed, then looked at each other. Alexa raised an eyebrow.

"Was that a snore?"

"I think so."

The noise occurred again but this time louder and a bit longer.

"It must be Gimli, Alexa you heard him in Moria."

"It can't be, he's on the other talen. This sounds close. It's coming from over there."

"He snores."

"I didn't know elves snored."

"Me neither, but obviously they do."

"Oh no Nightshade this is it, we're dead. It has been nice knowing you, you where a good friend to me I owe you much. Oh what a cruel, cruel world!"

Alexa continued to mumble words of regretful woe. Nightshade smacked her lightly on the face

"Snap out of it and pull yourself together Alexa all is not lost. Our mission stands on the edge of a knife if we stray but a little…. Then we're dead."

"Thanks Nightshade that helped a bit."

"No problem."

"Don't do it again… EVER again"

"Ever?"

Alexa's right eye started to twitch but before it did they were interrupted again by an exaggerated cough. They turned their head in that direction.

"Pardon our intrusion but…"

"This is it we're dead."

Alexa closed her eyes tightly and grasped her red pointy hat covering her mouth and nose.

"Do you need help."

Her eyes opened.

"What? Are you crazy are nuts? Nightshade, tell them they can't help. They're the ones that are supposed to wake them up so that all hell brakes loose."

Nightshade looked from Alexa to the elves.

"Got any hair ties?"

Rumil and Orophin looked from Nightshade to each other then grinned as they pulled many thin strips of leather from their tunic pockets.

The sun rose high in the sky waking from a long slumber. All was quiet in the Golden Woods, um… that is until….

"NIGHTSHADE!"

RUMIL! OROPHIN!

Three sets of light footsteps could be heard and two soon followed them. Alexa woke up with great confusion.

"What? Wha… What's going on? Where did everyone go?"