Lingering Hearts Chapter 4
Warnings: 1x2, 3x4 pairings, strong language inevitable XxXxXxLemon in this Chapter
Duo
Holly shit; you guys will never believe what happened today. I mean, I still am not sure I believe it. I was in the shower this morning and I heard the phone ring. I already had shampoo in my beautiful length of hair and wasn't about to get out of the shower with out having every last bit of it washed out. Yes, I am very protective about my hair. It's only taken me eight years to get it back to the length it was before Heero cut it. Hmph. That sexy bastard. Did I mention that he did it the day before we had uh, well, before we kissed. Yeah that's what we did.
Flashback
Duo was in the kitchen cleaning up breakfast when he heard Heero leave for an over night mission.
'Hmp. I'm here all alone, with nothing to do but clean. And Quatre and Trowa wont be back till tomorrow.'
"Damn Doctors keeping me here all locked up because of what, one screw up." Duo finishes putting the dishes in their proper place and begins to look for any other dirty dishes through out the house.
"I can't believe how messy these guys are. They just leave their dishes everywhere for me to pick up. Cause we all know I am not good for anything other than a woman's job as Wu-man put it before he left on a week long mission yesterday."
He goes through the living room, training room and library areas before heading to the bed rooms. Wufei is surprisingly thought less about dirty dishes, or he just likes to leave a mess to agitate Duo. Next he goes to Quatre's room. Then too Trowa's then to his own. Duo takes a load of dishes back to the kitchen and sets them in the sink.
"Shit, I forgot Heero's room. That guy probably doesn't have any though. He is so clean and he's always brought his back out to the kitchen. But it's better to be sure. Right?" Duo reasons to himself. He just wanted a reason to go into his room. Duo had been looking for a reason to find Heero's Journal ever since he let on that he kept one. Duo reaches his room, but the door is locked.
"Damn, now I gotta pick the lock. Easy enough." The door springs open once he has it unlocked. One quick sweep of the room tells him there is nothing dirty in this room. Not a speck. "Oh, well, I might as well look around. Wonder what Mr. Perfect soldier has in here. The only thing that looks out of place in this perfect room is that tattered old book." Duo walks over to the desk the book is sitting on. In Gold spidery writing it says 'Journal' on the cover. "No way he really does keeps one of these things, he wouldn't leave it out in the open for anyone to walk in and see." The voice in the back of his head know as a conscience told him Heero had his door lock so just that thing would not happen but he ignored it. Duo opens it and begins to read. There are some entries but what mostly fills it is poetry.
"I can't believe he writes. And poetry at that"
'You make me feel things I didn't know I was capable of. Things I didn't think possible
These things, they are strong and unmistakable These feelings, I'm almost certain That it's love Overwhelmingly felt for you
When my day is dark, you are my light When my night is cold, you warm my heart If I'm scared, all I have to do is think of you
I think I am going crazy Crazy just thinking of you Thinking of when I can finally kiss you When you hold me in your arms Protecting me form everything
I know that I need you always I can see us together, forever If you love me, the way I love you We can have the greatest love.'
"Wow, I can't believe he feels this way about some one." That voice keeps telling Duo that he wishes that some one was him. "I can't think about him this way. I can't, it will mess every thing up." Still curious he turns the page and begins to read again. But what he reads scares him so much he and pulls him in so that he doesn't hear anything but Heero's voice in his head, reading the poem like he must have in his own head as he wrote it out.
' This is all a bad dream. I can't breathe I'm drowning under the water It's cold and it's rushing in all at once I'm suffocating, I can't take it much longer This pain is unbearable.
I wish for deaths sweet lips I wish for the wonders of eternal night How I want it all to end
I want the hurt to be gone I can't take it The silence is deafening The darkness, it's blinding The walls are crumbling
I'm trapped My feelings are irrational My head is screaming
Someone drop the bomb Help me this loneliness is killing me I can't go on much longer Does anyone even hear me?
"I hear you Heero, I do, so much love and so much pain. How can you stand it." Duo says in almost a whisper to the book.
"By beating the living shit out of you for snooping in my room" Heero says while standing behind Duo. Duo never heard him come in and had Heero not pushed him down on the bed he would have jumped about three feet from the shock.
"I- I –I thought you had gone"
"I was, but I realized I didn't have this" He took the journal from Duo " so I came back to get it. But what do you know. I get back to find my door open and a long haired onna sitting on my bed going through my things." Heero walks over to his desk and picks up a pair of scissors and walks back to where Duo is cowering on his bed.
"What the hell do you think your going to do with those?"
"Just what you think. I've changed my mind about beating the fuck out of you. Your precious braid though, it's just got to go."
Duo tries to put on a fake smile. "Ha, that's all your going to do to me after I read your poems, after I found out that the great Heero Yuy is in love with some one, and hates his life and hates being lonely. Getting a little soft aren't you Yuy. Not the perfect solider anymore are you?" He tries to make Heero mad enough that he takes it out on his body and not his beautiful tress.
"Baka, you don't fool me, that damned hair is everything to you. And it drives me insane." 'yeah, insane with lust for you, I can't believe how much I want you. But if I let you get away with this, you'll know whom I was writing about for sure. Your not as stupid as you act.' Heero fights his way on top of Duo and pulls out the braid from behind him. Duo's eyes shine with fear.
"Ready, say good bye to your beautiful hair". 'Shit, I didn't just say beautiful did it? I can't stand to cut it all off, I'll only cut it to the middle of his back.'
The whole time Duo was struggling to get free. But Heero had his arms pined beneath his knees and was sitting on him. 'Under different circumstances, oh god, I'd be hard right now. This is going to give me wet dreams for a month. This is almost worth losing my hair. Almost, Better not let him know that though'
Duo let loose a string of insults that made Heero blush. "Get of off me you motherfuckingcocksuckingpussylickingtightdickingsixtyniningsonofabitch. I pray you're damnedtoloneliness. I hope your dickfallsoffandyouaredamnedtoalleternitytosuckyourm otherscock..." Yeah, it went on like that for a while. Duo really can have a foul mouth.
Then Heero cut it. About mid back in one clean cut and got up, picking the journal up with him and walked out telling him to 'clean up that damned mess he made with the hair.'
"I can't believe he fucking did that." Duo sat stunned retching behind him to see how much Heero actually cut. "Mid back. It could have been worse." He got up and picked up the severed hair. The braid had come out so now all that held it together was a thin black band at the end of the tress. The top part of the braid had come undone and Duo looked a lot like a girl. Duo straightened the bed up and walked out of Heero's room, not even pissed at that sexy son of a bitch. Just to have him on top of him like that was enough to stop him from being pissed. The strings of insults were just a show. But he did want to get some revenge on Heero. He had found out one thing that absolutely drove Heero crazy. Draw attention to him in a crowded place. Surprisingly, Heero has a fear of crowds. Well, it's not sooo surprising. end flashback
Heh, I can remember it like it was yesterday. I bet he still writes in his Journal. But anyways, what happened when I was in the shower was the phone rang and the answering machine picked it up. I really didn't care. I'd just call whoever it was back later. I could here it going off then the person would hang up and after about the fourth time, he finally left a message.
Duo's love shacks, if you're a friend, leave a message after the beep; if you're a phone solicitor, put that god damned phone down now. I don't want any, of course, unless you wanna talk dirty. Then by all means proceed.
BEEP: ...Duo...It's good to hear your voice, even if it's just a stupid recording...this is Heero... listen, Quatre's having his Christmas party this weekend, of course you know that...I was just going to make sure you'd be there. I really need to talk to you. I know what was said between us two years ago, but I hope we can forget that for one night. So well, I really hope to see you there.
I couldn't believe it. In less than 3 days I'm going to see Heero again. And not just like see him somewhere, and not say anything, but actually talk with him. I still can't believe he called me. He hates leaving a message. Hence the hanging up 3 times. Holly shit, I'm just, just so happy. I've got to go shopping and get a new outfit. I'm going to make Heero come back to me Saturday.
Heero
What the fuck ever possessed me to call that fool. I will never know. I made such a fool of my self on the damned answering machine. I hate those things. But, I want to make sure he's going to be there. I know I didn't imagine the spark between us when I saw him in that shop. God, it has been so long since I've heard his voice. Even if it was a recording, it was him. I hung the phone up a few times just so I could hear it again. I miss him so much. He picked up on everything. I remember one day he was talking to me in his usually flighty manner. He was going on about how people that kept Journals were really just keeping them so they could be seen by someone else, but not have to go through confrontation. He didn't always make since. I made the mistake of arguing with him about it. I told him that I wouldn't write in mine to have others read it but to help organize my thoughts. He picked up that I meant I write in one. Obviously I do, I mean, that's how you are reading what you are now, because I wrote it down.
Okay, time for an Authors note here. I think I might need to explain something I just realized I hadn't before. What you're reading are two Journals. One written by Heero and one by Duo. The flash backs you read are flash backs the characters are having while writing the entries. For the sake of the end of the story, and my sanity, the flash backs were written down as they happened. Also, in the flash backs, you magically know what both parties are thinking no matter the person having it. Okay, Any questions? Anyone lost yet cause I am. :)
After I made that mistake he decided to go snooping in my room. Ha, I remember, that was day. That's when I cut his hair. Sweet revenge or so you'd think. I loved seeing that hair on him. He just looked so delicious with it. So I left some of it. He still looked good. And I got my point across. But I couldn't help wonder what he had written in his. I got to thinking about what he had said. Even though he rambles on a lot, there is usually a meaning buried deep within. He said that usually people write in journals so others can read then. If that's true then he was probably referring to his own journal. So I've decided to look for his. I think he was hinting whether he meant to or not. I was looking for it while he slept that morning after we got together...
Flashback Duo grabbed Heero's shirt and twirled him around so Heero's back was the one against the door. He wrapped his arms around Heero's neck and Heero wrapped his arms around Duo pulling him as close as humanly possible. And right there, they shared the first kiss of thousands to come. Their tongues battling fiercely for dominance. Just as Heero's gains the upper hand, Duo pulls back.
"Heero, will you be in my future, I can't imagine us going back the way we were."
"Don't worry Duo, I'll always be in your future. I don't think I could go back either." Heero leaned down and kissed Duo lightly on the lips a few times. He could feel Duo's hands running down his back searching for the end of his shirt as he moved his kisses down Duo's neck making the braided boy shiver. Duo broke their embrace to pull Heero's shirt off over his head. Heero did the same for Duo as they stumbled over to the bed. Some how losing both Heero's black spandex and Duo's skin tight leather pants. Both boys wore nothing under their pants.
Duo ended up under Heero strong body. Heero continued to plant kisses down Duo's well-sculpted chest.
Heero trailed sweet kisses back to Duo's lips and they began to kiss fiercely, tongues once again battling. Their hands roamed each other's body.
"Heero" Duo gasped. "I have...to have you".
Heero began to trail kisses back up the boy. "Angel, tell me what to do."
"You've never done this before?" By now Heero had retched the nape of his neck and was kissing his way up to Duo's lips. He kissed everywhere but his lips. His cheeks, nose, eyelids and his chin driving Duo mad. Duo finally caught Heero's lips with his own and they began to kiss, slow, deep, and sensuously. Heero finally pulled back again.
"No, you're my first everything." 'And last' Heero thought. He was glad he had never done anything with anyone else. He hadn't even kissed another. Sure he'd read a little about it. But he was still uncertain. Then he thought maybe Duo didn't want someone inexperienced. But that thought was gone as soon as Duo spoke.
"I'll have to prep you. There will be some pain at first." Duo caressed Heero's face.
Heero was now sitting on top of Duo, he took his hand and kissed it, looking into his eyes, his soul. "Duo, anytime I ever kiss you hand, I want you to know I'm telling you I love you. Okay, because I do. I love you." Heero kissed his hand again. "Do what you have to angel." Duo got a mischievous smile. "Of course love." He squirmed out from under Heero, shivering without Heero's warm body on top of him. He went over to a draw and pulled out a variety of strange toys setting them on top of dresser until he found what he was looking for. "found it" and with that he walked back over to Heero and gave it to him and this time crawled on top of Heero. He bent down and kissed him gently on the lips. "Of course, it's only fair that I get to toy with you for a while before you take me. I mean, you don't get to have all the fun." He ran his hands up Heero's chest. Loving how soft and strong it was.
Duo began to caress Heero's body with his hands while bathing it in butterfly kisses. He ran his tongue up Heero's neck, and planted a wet kiss on his lips, but pull back quickly so as to tease.
They wrapped their arms around each other after the first round of fun and cuddled a bit.
Heero hadn't believed that they had gone that far, but was still somewhat disappointed that it was all that had happened.
"Duo, I thought you wanted something else."
"Oh, Heero. I'm sorry I couldn't have stopped if my life depended on it." Duo leaned over and kissed Heero lightly on the lips. Then again and again, the kisses becoming deeper each time. In no time both boys were ready to go again and Duo was telling Heero what he was about to do..
"Okay Duo"
Duo came positioned himself behind Heero on his knees and reaching with his hands to lightly grasp Heero's hips. He traced small designs on Heero's hips then he leaned forward and slid his hands up Heero's sides, pulling his body upright slightly so that Heero's back was against Duo's chest.
Heero gasped, surprised when Duo suddenly leaned back, pulling Heero's body against his. His hands were on Heero's chest, not moving, just touching. Heero's leaned his head back to offer his neck and Duo gently sucked, leaving small marks of their actions this night. Duo placed sweet kisses upon his neck, giving him goose bums. Duo couldn't wait any longer. He had to take him and his control was wavering fast. Even with his loss of control, it was still the sweetest most romantic lovemaking you could ever hope to have. The two Gundams united that night in not only mind, heart and soul, but in body as well.
Later that night, once they had finished, Duo's hand was intertwined with Heero's. Duo's head was rested on Heero's shoulder.
His thick, now mid back length hair was out of its band. His beautiful hair was strung about the two lovers.
"Heero, love," "Hn." "I'm really sorry I said all those things yesterday. I'm glad your dick didn't fall off." He kissed his neck. "Really glad"
"Me too. And Duo, I'm really sorry I cut your hair. Do you forgive me. I know it was everything."
"Don't worry about it. It was worth it to hear you apologize." Duo pulled away from Heero and rolled to look him in the eyes. "I love you Heero Yuy. I always will. Ok. Nothing you could do can change that. Just know that I love you"
"Ai Shiteru" Heero whispered, taking Duo's hand and kissing it looking in his eyes.
The boys fell asleep there. In the morning Duo was still asleep when Heero woke up. Heero lay there for a while, just watching Duo sleep before he started to think of the Journal thing. He looked around a bit and saw sitting on top of the nightstand Duo had pulled out all of those toys from last night, sat a small book, that looked as if it could be a journal.
He quietly went to it and opened it to an odd page in the book. It was Duo's poetry book. Things he had written:
Flying awayGive me wingsI want to escapethe sky, its so inviting. Give me wingsI want to escapebut I can't leave your sideoh, fly, fly away
You're here on earththat you love so muchgrounded without wingscome with meI'll lend you mind. Give me wingslet me fly awayoh, come with meto paradisecome come, fly away with me
At the end of it there was one last line that made tears come to the stoic young pilot
I can't live with out you love come come with meHeero come fly away with me into forever. you and I, forever in love
Heero had been afraid that all of this had been another one of Duo's games or that Duo was had used him for his own reasons. Duo liked to toy with people's emotions. Heero was afraid Duo would use last night as some sort of revenge for cutting his hair. But now, now he was sure he really was loved by Duo.
endFlashback.
Thank god I read that. I really had feared that Duo was being his normal bastard self an toying with me. I think reading that brought me closer to him. I realized how much I loved him. So much. That's why I have to get him back at the Christmas party. I've got to make him want me again. I don't think I can't go with out him much longer. I wont go on with out him. I can't. I only hope what was said can be forgiven if not forgotten.