What might have never happened between Rachel and Tobias...
This story DOES NOT follow the books at all. It describes Rachel's reflections on a love story between her and Tobias that was never confessed. The characters behave a little differently, but not too much.
I consider this one of my best works, because, when heard with the original song, gives me shivers every time, but when you read it blank it's kind of boring, but one does what one can. Enjoy!
From Rachel's POV
The Greatest Man I Never Knew
The greatest man I never knew…
In the beginning, I didn't know Tobias. Didn't really care, I guess. That changed in a hurry.
Lived just down the hall…I just saw him every day at my locker. His was right next to mine. I would time my entrances to school to catch him as he was leaving. Stupid, I know, but I couldn't help it.
And every day we said hello…He was cute. And I could see as we talked that he looked at me different than the other guys. He was trying to see me as a person, not a model-shaped body.
But never touched at all…"Tobias who?"
"You know, him," I said, pointing.
"Oh, him," the girl said, her snobby face looking at me pityingly. "Stay away from him. Not good for your reputation."
But I began to want him anyway…
He was in his paper…This boy I watched, almost with obsession, was always in his own world, seeming never to notice what went on around him.
I was in my room…And I myself, at that time, was lost in a world of social groups, parties, and trying to seduce the football captain.
How was I to know he thought…I saw want in every other guy's face, but his was blank when he looked at me.
I hung…the moon…I never knew then that he was as fascinated by me as I was by him…
The greatest man I never knew…Now, three years into the fight, I didn't really know him any better, but I yearned after him just the same.
Came home late every night…He came sometimes to my room, but always after midnight. I used to wait up for him, to try to talk to him.
He never had too much to say…But he never really said that much. Yet I came to want for his every word, to want to talk to him as openly as I talked to Cassie.
Too much was on his mind…I guess he was too obsessed with the war that took his parents away from him, that took his own self away from him. He never really had time for me.
I never really knew him…At the end, we fought so hard and so dangerously, and I realized the person I had fallen in love with was never who I thought he was, and the man I had built up from the boy in my mind was torn apart.
And now it seems so sad…I cry every time I think about it, every time I watched my heart break as he fought with me, saving me, bleeding at my expense…
Every thing he gave to us…He was the most precious gift to our group, special, and we knew it. He had given up his human existence to fight with us…
Took all…he had…And in the end he gave his life to us, sacrificing himself for the cause he had grown to love, to need.
Then the days turned into years…We fought on. We lost sometimes, but sometimes we won.
And the memories to black and white…He faded from our thoughts, but he was still a part of us, he could never leave us, even if I could no longer recall the way the sound of his words in my head made me ache after him more…
He grew cold like an old winter wind…
Finally, he was just an old memory to be cherished, to be taken out and hugged and loved sometimes, but eventually to be put away.
Blowing across my life…I forgot the years of desperation and want, and no longer felt the rustle of his influence on my heart…
The greatest words I never heard…One day, Ax brought me an old box, filled with what little Tobias had: notes, small change, a few pieces of jewelry he had found with his hawk eyes…but the most precious gift of all were the notes, the journals…
I guess I'll never hear…It took me three days to open those journals. I couldn't stand to find my name in them, or to find its absence.
The man I thought could never die…I watched the calendar carefully, marking down the days until the anniversary where I had thought I would die of grief.
Has been dead almost a year…One year. One year ago he had died for us, alone and broken. I wondered what his thoughts were. What he wished for, what he regretted at those moments…
Oh, he was good at business…He had been a wonderful warrior. So good and brave and honorable at what he did. His writing was just the same, so good, so pure…
But there was business left to do…And then I read it. I read it over and over and wept more for those small pieces of paper than I had wept over his empty grave.
He never said he loved me…There it was written, in words of darkest ink, his love for me. He never told me...he never told me…
"I guess he thought I knew…"