Solace
Solace is comfort, a place or person that can chase your fears away, keep you from crying. Solace is something that we in the Feudal Era have a difficult time finding. Sure, the others are lucky, they found Solace because of who they were, no trouble at all.
Solace is hard to find, it's just an emotional space.
Inuyasha has both Kikyou and Kagome, lucky guy. Kagome wouldn't leave him, she couldn't bring herself to do it. Kikyou is almost eternally bound to him. He can seek refuge in either of the raven haired priestesses.
Solace has no feel, it's just an emotional space.
Miroku has the women. He can go to any of them, and can forget his troubles in a night of sake. He also has Haachi, the tanuki that seems to hang around him. His meditation must provide peace as well.
Solace has no smell, it's just an emotional space.
Kagome has Inuyasha, a family, her brother. She has Shippo, hell, she's got everyone. She could walk up to almost any demon, calm it enough, and then sit and pour out her problems, without a doubt that Inuyasha would come and save her. She has all the protection that she needs.
Solace can't tell a soul, it's just an emotional space.
Shippo is another with everything. Sure, his parents are gone, but with Kagome as a surrogate mother, and Inuyasha like an annoying older sibling, it's easier for him. Kirara has him and I, they are all bound by the solace they have with each other.
Solace can't show them, it's just an emotional space.
Now that I think about it, everyone seems to have a solace. Naraku with his devious plans and the jewel, Kagura with the wind. Kanna and her mirror, Kikyou and Inuyasha. Kaede and her healings, Sesshomaru and Rin. Jaken and Sesshomaru, Myouga and his hunger. Kouga and Kagome, along with his wolf tribe. Kohaku and his loss of memory. All of them have a solace.
Solace has no heartbeat, it's just an emotional space.
My solace... I wish I could find it. I find no comfort in the wandering hands of the monk I once loved. I find no comfort in Kagome's arms any longer, I've gone numb. Shippo's antics, Kirara's soft touch, Inuyasha's gruff personality... Numb to it all. I barely take notice at battles, until I hear the screams of the demons. Or the ripping of my flesh. Sadly, and almost pitifully, it's disgusting... How it feels so good to hear them scream, to feel my blood run down one of my limbs.
Solace can't leave me, it's just an emotional space.
What a thought, I'm such a sick fool. I cannot believe I have sunk so low to feel ecstasy in pain or suffering. Is pain my solace? Is the flow of blood dripping to create a pool at my feet what drives me on? Was father wrong in giving me such a power, to live or to die?
Solace can't hide, it's just an emotional space.
The camp is pretty quiet. Inuyasha went off to the river, and I know I saw the soul catchers. That guy just can't make up his mind. Well, since I can't sleep, I might as well take a walk. Perhaps that little field we passed earlier. I easily evade my sleeping comrades. It doesn't take me long to get to the field, so I just sort of drop down in the field, close to the riverbank. I'm looking at my katana... What a perfectly carved weapon. My reflection in the moonlight shines back at my from the blade. I see another person behind me. I decide not to move, I can see them from here.
" Who goes?" I call out. I hear a faint reply, almost to quiet to hear.
" Just me, I'm sorry for disturbing you, miss..." Oh. I see now, it's just a little girl. I lower my katana, and look over my shoulder. What an adorable child, especially with that little ponytail sticking out from the top of her head, and the little gap in her teeth. I smile slightly, then turn back to the river.
" It's alright. You can join me, if you'd like." I can hear her little feet padding along towards me. She plops down beside me, a few little flowers in her hand. Thinking of it all now, this is Sesshomaru's companion. She's talking now.
Solace can't cry, it's just an emotional space.
" Jaken-sama is so mean. I tried to give him flowers but he won't take them! And he threw away his babies!" I jerk my head towards her, both my eyebrows raised.
" What? Why?" She looks up at me, her eyes big and brown.
" I don't know! He's just a crab, I think he's the reason Sesshomaru-sama won't talk much, and he keeps going away! Fluffy-sama is so nice, and he's really fluffy! I wish I could stay with him forever and ever." I smile, what a cute nickname for such a terrifying lord. She's completely oblivious to the fact that he's dangerous. He's her solace. She's meddling with her flowers again.
Solace can't be jealous, it's just an emotional space.
" S'cuse me, miss?"
" Yes?" I look back down at her. She holding up a little daisy.
" Take this. Jaken won't, and I don't want it to go to waste." I nod, and take the little daisy. I simple put it behind my ear. She giggles, and then stops and stares. I blink.
" Um, do I have something on my face?" She shakes her head.
" You look like Kohaku-kun. I met him once before... He seems really nice, but he got possessed. Fluffy-sama says I should stay away, but I really want to help him. He's looking for his memories, and he kept saying sister. I hope he finds her..." I feel my heart go cold.
Solace has your secrets, but it's just an emotional space.
" Rin... Kohaku is my little brother. I want to save him from Naraku, but I can't. I'm not strong enough. My friends probably are, but I know that one day we'll have to kill Kohaku to save the Feudal Era. I don't know if I can do that. I'm a demon slayer... My emotions aren't supposed to be like this. I'm supposed to be able to kill without any second thought for peace. I'm supposed to die with no regrets, with full dignity. I can't. Stay with Sesshomaru, it will be best for you. Just keep being the little girl you are. Childhood only goes by once..." My thoughts are blank now, as I stare deep into the river.
Solace isn't what I've said. Solace can be anything, can do anything, can feel anything. It's not just an emotional space.
I suddenly feel warm arms wrap around me. I look down, looking as Rin is clutching to me like a lifeline. She looks up.
" You're strong enough, don't worry! And, maybe Fluffy can help, he could revive Kohaku! You have a human heart, you have to be happy. You're a nice lady, good things will happen to you someday." I smile down at her, but freeze as I feel a cold hand on my shoulder. I slowly move me head, and see nothing be Sesshomaru. Rin stands up, smiling brightly, thrusting the flowers into his boa.
" Come on now, Rin, we must be off. Thank you for entertaining Rin, slayer. " With that, Sesshomaru and Rin disappeared, Rin chattering a mile a minute. I stood up, and felt the flower on my ear.
Perhaps this is Solace.