A Ranma ½ Fanfic by PansutoTaro5925

DISCLAIMER: Ranma ½ is the property of Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Video. I make no claim to these properties. This fic not to be distributed for commercial gain.

Viruses are funny things. For such a tiny little thing, they can really mess with someone's life, or many people's lives.

Ranma Saotome's life got changed by a virus.

Strangest thing is, he never even met the person who had it.

Shampoo sneezed several times in a row, then attempted to stagger out of her bed. "Great-granddaughter, you're in no condition to go anywhere," Cologne said, bringing her a bowl of hot broth for Shampoo's unsettled stomach. "Lay down and get some rest."

"Great-grandmother, I must prepare for the tournament," Shampoo said. "It would bring shame to our family not to have any fighters in the tournament. Don't worry about me; I am strong enough to- URP!" Shampoo retched, barely managing to hold down the water and crackers she had eaten before.

"Shampoo, you are barely strong enough to eat, nevermind train. Get back in bed. Here," she said, handing Shampoo the broth, "an ancient Amazon secret, passed down from generation to generation, which held many an emperor in amazement!" Shampoo giggled at her great-grandmother's mock-pompous praise of her special broth. It still tasted the way she remembered it, rich and spicy, seasoned with rare herbs and cooked with rarer skill.

"You would let our family go unrepresented in the tournament, then, great-grandmother?" Shampoo asked in between spoonfuls of warm broth.

Cologne was quiet for a moment, watching her heir. "No. I was going to ask Mifa to join the tournament in your stead." Shampoo gasped, then scrunched up her face in confusion.

"Mifa? Great-grandmother, the other Amazons hate my cousin. She goes against Amazon tradition." To Shampoo, that was very bad but ultimately tolerable. That her great-grandmother was willing to overlook it as well was surprising.

Cologne was silent for a while, before lowering her voice. "I have no choice. You and she are the only ones old enough and skilled enough to enter and bring honor to our family." Cologne looked at Shampoo. "Will you let her take your place?" Only the fighter in a tournament could allow another to replace them, after all.

Shampoo nodded. "That our family be represented is only right."

"Very well. I will tell your cousin."

"Damn, these chicks are good," Ranma said as she busily munched on corn on the cob. It was her lucky day, she reflected, that she came to this remote village on their tournament day. They had a funny setup with that log, though. The green-haired girl with the farmer's flail had easily disarmed her much larger opponent and then removed her from the log with a simple sweep. "She's got serious skill."

"Ack! What you doing?" the guide yelped, noticing that both girl and panda were scarfing down the food as fast as they could.

"Huh? Is there a problem?" Ranma asked.

"This is prize for tournament, sirs!"

"Uh..." Ranma said, blinking, then turned around. The green haired chick was walking towards the table with a smirk on her lips.

"What is your problem, outlander girl? Can't you read?" Mifa said, crossing her arms and smirking mischeviously.

"She say 'What your problem, you no can read?'" the Guide translated.

Ranma thought quickly. "This is the prize for the tournament, right? Then if I beat you, there's no problem, right?"

"She is challenging you to a fight," the Guide translated, "to legitimize her eating the food." Mifa nodded, then jumped on the challenge log. Now, she thought, she had a really stupid dillema on her hands due to the outsider. Beat the crap out of her, be shamed for having her prize eaten, and kill the outsider, or lose, save face for both of them, and then be forced to kill her?

Put that way, there was only one choice. Hoping her opponent had decent skill in the art, she left a small opening in her stance as she rushed the outsider.

Cologne rolled her eyes at her great-granddaughter's decision. "Child, your thoughts are strange to me. Perhaps that is for the better," she murmured, unheard by anyone else.

Ranma was impressed despite herself; her opponent was just as good as she had thought, except for a tiny hole in her defenses. She smiled, maneuvered around the blow of the flail, and poked her in the chest with her foot, knocking her off the log. Mifa landed lightly and walked away.

Cologne's wagging finger brought her short.

Damn, no 'forgetting' the Kiss of Death, Mifa thought, and turned around to her red-headed opponent, who was currently posing in victory.

"Good match!" Ranma said happily in Japanese. She hadn't had a good opponent her age since that Ryoga kid back in Japan, even though this fight had been a lot shorter than some of her other fights. It was the quality, not the quantity, that mattered in battle.

Mifa tuned out the incomprehensible Japanese and looked at the happy face of her opponent and smiled. She bent down a bit, hugged the shorter girl, and kissed her softly on the cheek, then pulled back slowly.

"What the hell!" Ranma exclaimed, surprised.

"Is very bad, sirs, she give you kiss of death! Is promise to track you to the ends of the world and kill!" the Guide screamed, panicking. He grabbed Ranma's hand and pulled her along.

"Kiss of death?" Ranma asked in confusion, as Genma caught up to her and ran beside her.

"Is very big shame for Amazon to lose to outsider! Worse than death!" he explained.

Ranma's eyes went extremely wide. "Why didn't you tell me that!"

"Sorry!"

Mifa sighed and watched the outsider run away.

"You have to chase her, you know," Cologne said, hopping up from behind her. "And kill her," she added after a moment's thought. "The pride of the Amazons demands it."

"Yes, Great-grandmother," she said absently.

"Even to the ends of the earth."

"Yes, Great-grandmother," Mifa said, turning around. "I do know what is required of me." She walked to her family's house to pack.

"You win?" Shampoo asked as she entered the door. Her cousin was still sick, too sick to go outside, but that didn't dampen her enthusiasm. Shampoo had been the odds on favorite; if Mifa won, Shampoo would still be considered the best of the young fighters, considering the general opinion towards Mifa.

"I won," Mifa said, smiling. "But an outsider girl ate my prize. I let her kick me off the challenge log to settle the score."

Shampoo's eyes widened and she cooed. "My cousin is a sneaky one! You did that just so you could give her the kiss of death?"

Mifa smiled as she walked past Shampoo. "Yes, something like that."

Ranma and Genma had grown to expect it. Every few days, without fail, they would wake up in the morning and she would be waiting, patiently waiting for them to get up before attacking Ranma. In fact, it was getting to the point where the first thing Ranma would think of upon waking up was the lime green hair and lipstick she had as she smiled at her.

Today was no exception.

"Nihao, wai ren!" was the almost expected greeting on waking up. A bowl of ramen was shoved in Ranma's face. "Eat up, I chase." the girl said as Ranma scrambled away, ignoring the proffered food. She had picked up a few Japanese words from somewhere.

Yes, Ranma ignoring food. That's how freaked out she was.

Mifa shrugged, slurped up the noodles, and started after them again. She figured she'd fight Ranma just before lunch, then again around sunset and call it a day. Tracking down their camp was always a fun chore, but it was worth it for their panic in the morning. Though lately they were getting used to that. Maybe it was time to change routines?

Mifa was sneaking towards the campfire and decided to spy on the outsider girl for a while. "Come on, pops, we need to heat it up before she finds us. She's looking for a girl and her panda, not two guys." Mifa didn't understanda word they said - she had picked up only the one Japanese phrase to use in the morning - and watched them heating up a pot of water over the campfire. Mifa found it odd; they weren't cooking anything, apparently. They also hadn't set up for the night.

Ranma kept poking her finger in the water, waiting until the magical temperature was passed that would return her to manhood. When she finally judged the threshold to have passed, she quickly splashed the two of them with hot water.

"Damn, it feels good to be back!" Ranma said, patting himself down. "Come on, pops, let's make tracks and get some distance on her."

Mifa fell down in shock where she was. "The outsider girl is an outsider boy?" she asked herself, stunned. She dizzily got back to her feet and walked back to the Amazon village in a daze.

This one is mostly dead; I only released it on FFML two years ago. I'm thinking about working on it a bit, which is why I'm posting it. I'm also working on Fate, so don't worry, I'm just really bogged down right now. I expect chapter 11 of Fate should come out this month at some point, so don't worry. I'm alive and writing.