So How Do You Like Your Eggs?

Summary: A new course is being taught at Hogwarts' this year by a new, slightly whacked-out professor. It's Harry and the gang's final year, but what sort of things will be stirred up by this new class? And what exactly happened to Draco over the summer? Crazy assignments, new love interests, odd happenings and definitely some laughs. (oh, and little to no angst! whew) HP/DM (RW/HG and more)

Rating: PG-13/R

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Chapter 2: Breakfast News

In the Great Hall, Harry was just sitting down to breakfast. As he reached for the toast, Seamus joined him and resumed the questioning.

"So what really was up this morning, Harry?" he said, suggestively while raising his eyebrows.

"Nothing, really, just some crazy dreams. I probably should stop eating so many chocolate frogs right before bed."

"Oh, ok…," he responded slightly unconvinced.

Soon after, Hermione and Ron were seen walking in and making a beeline for Harry.

"You know, Harry," Hermione prodded while adding sugar to her tea. "If you're dreaming about You-Know-Who again you really should speak with Dumbledore."

But before he could deny anything, Dumbledore stood up.

'Darn, just when I was about to explain to my two best friends that I had a perverted dream about them. Way to ruin my plans! I had a really good explanation too...not.' Harry thought sarcastically.

"Good morning, good morning! I trust you all slept well for your first night at Hogwarts'," said Dumbledore, glancing at Harry and winking slightly.

'Did he just wink at me?' thought Harry as Hermione cast him a sideways look. Nothing anyone did ever went unnoticed by her.

"I have some news that I must bring to your attention," he continued. "This year we will be adding a new course to the 5th year curriculum. Those students already in there 6th and 7th years will be expected to take the new course before their graduation as well."

"This course is being add in response to an Educational Decree put out by the Ministry. Recently, they had been studying the muggle schooling system and-"

With this remark, the Great Hall broke into a frenzy. Slytherins immediately began commenting on "the muggle-loving fool" and criticizing "anything related to filthy muggles and mudbloods." Other students tried guessing what the class might be.

Lavender squealed about how she hoped it related to fashion design, which caused Hermione to roll her eyes. A number of Ravenclaws hoped that it might be a math. "Maybe Calculus, which I've heard is interesting."

Another Slytherin loudly commented to Blaise saying "Maybe we can experiment on the lousy muggles." Which led to much sniggering by the rest of his house.

"Now, now as I was saying the course will be based on the Personal, Social, and Health Education System in muggle schools. The name of the course is "The Magic of Our Developing Mind and Body."

Again, everyone began to chatter at the announcement.

"Ahem, the professor teaching this course is new to Hogwarts' this semester. So without further waffling from myself, let me introduce Professor Amacktherm."

"Thank you Headmaster," said Professor Amacktherm as she stood. She was about medium in height, but was rather skinny. Her hair was cropped in a blond pixie cut and had numerous rings, a silver band on her thumb being the most prominent. Her hands began to move in an enthusiastic manner as she spoke.

"I am very proud to be your new Professor here at Hogwarts'. As you know, I've been put in place to teach some about adolescent development and how to cope with the changes everyone goes through. Also we will be discussing future choices involving occupations, marriage and family."

"Really," Hermione quipped to Ron and Harry, "you don't think it has anything to do with the increased promiscuity of this school? Students are already shagging like crazy by the time they're in 4th year! For God's sake we are never supervised and we have tons of empty classrooms and cupboards all across the school that are quite shag-worthy…not that I would know. I'm surprised someone didn't think to teach about this sort of thing sooner"

"Yeah, Hermione, you're right. You should have been more on top of things," responded Harry.

"You really are starting to fall behind on your institution improvements and school-wide mothering," Ron added. "What will people think?"

Both boys feigned looks of horror.

"Ha, ha very funny, but it is a good idea but a little late for our year I think," she said dismally, scanning her eyes around the hall. Across from her Dean Thomas was sitting in Seamus's lap feeding him orange slices. Not much farther away, Ginny was at the receiving end of a back massage from Neville. Two students at the Hufflepuff table were cuddling more than what was expected to be humanly possible. Other 7th years were freely snogging, many continuing to grope mercilessly though Professor Amacktherm's speech. She sighed and refocused her attention.

"So I hope we can all have a great year together, thank you," She concluded and took her seat.

The older students, those expected to take the new course, sat slightly perplexed by what this would mean. The course would be starting tomorrow and no one was quite sure what to make of it.

Harry, just as confused, glanced around the hall. His eyes fell on Draco Malfoy, who was sitting alone at the end of the Slytherin table, staring into space. He studied him, noticing his disheveled appearance. His hair was slightly askew and his robes weren't fastened correctly, very uncharacteristic from his usual immaculate appearance. Suddenly, Draco noticed the eyes on him. His grey eyes turned and pierced into the offender's. Harry quickly looked away and went back to his breakfast.

Fieryzephyr: ok theres chapter 2 in a week like i promised! hope you've enjoyed.

Dumbledore Puppet: finally, some lines. took you look enough.

Beta Emily: hey at least you get freaking lines, all i get is this crap at the end. this is not showcasing my talent!

Fieryzephyr: yeah yeah, next chapter will be up in a week or so. :)

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