So How Do You Like Your Eggs?
Summary: A new course is being taught at Hogwarts' this year by a new, slightly whacked-out professor. It's Harry and the gang's final year, but what sort of things will be stirred up by this new class? And what exactly happened to Draco over the summer? Crazy assignments, new love interests, odd happenings and definitely some laughs. (oh, and little to no angst! whew) HP/DM (RW/HG and more)
Rating: PG-13/R
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Chapter 3: Congratulations!
The next day students began their new classes. To the annoyance of some and to the relief of everyone else, the first group of students to have Professor Amacktherm was the 7th year Slytherins and Gryffindors.
The class had just began and everyone was a bit wary as to what the course would entail. The classroom was setup in the normal manner, with the Professor's desk in the front and students set up in rows of desks that sat three. However, some off-putting posters and figures were displayed on the walls and shelves. Some depicted internal organs, while others listed the consequences of certain actions.
Professor Amacktherm moved to the front of the class (Hermione immediately got her note quill) and launched into a description of the course's agenda.
"Well, how are we all today? Well, I hope," gesturing something undistinguishable with her hands. "Because this is more of a 'catch-up course' for you 7th years I have decided to omit some of the material the younger students will be learning. Mostly because I believe many of you have had a more first hand experience than I could even give you," she said pointedly.
"Instead, we will be focusing on your future and what live will be like after Hogwarts' including marriage and starting a family of your own. Any questions so far?"
"Could this class be any more stupid?" Pansy retorted caustically.
The Slytherins all laughed and Hermione shot an annoyed look in her direction. She then turned to Harry and Ron who were both near falling asleep. She tried discreetly to wake them by nudging them with her foot but it had little affect. She decided to try a different approach and shoved them off of their seats.
They fell over in a clatter and stood up sheepishly. But once they'd both sat down they glared at Hermione, who looked back at them innocently. She then brought her attention back to Professor Amacktherm and tried not to look overly pleased with herself.
"I would like to began this year with a partner project."
In response she received groans and looks of irritation.
"Now, come on, I thought you'd enjoy that more than taking notes on my lectures."
This time she received no response.
"Alright, first thing we need to do is pair up, now wait, before you move there's a catch. The person you pair with must be a realistic choice that you would make in the future when deciding your mate. That means go with the person you are currently dating or would like to be, and don't forget to select the right sex! Come on! Hurry up, this isn't that hard!"
The students began to pair up, but nearly everyone kept their eyes on Harry. You see, no one was quite sure anymore which way he swung. Sure, he had liked Cho Chang but she'd really been the only person, guy or girl, that anyone knew of. Unfortunately for the curious group, Harry didn't seem to be making a decision very quickly and had not asked any of them to be partners.
Eventually, partners began sitting back down. Ron was with Hermione, as they'd been dating for a year now. Dean and Seamus were together, they were another long-term couple. Many were surprised to find Neville paired with a girl, Parvati. Though, he'd been dating Ginny on and off, some were still skeptical that he was really in the closet. Ironically, someone no one had expected had come out, Millicent, who had paired with another Slytherin girl.
Soon most of the other Slytherins were paired as well. Pansy, however, was causing more of a disturbance than usual.
"Ew, no," she said rebuffing any student asking to be partners. "I'm going to be Draco's partner because he's the only one worthy of me. And where the hell is he, exactly? I can't deal with these goody-goody Gryffindor mudbloods much longer."
The Gryffindors all rolled their eyes and went back to "discreetly" spying on Harry.
Professor Amacktherm decided she should try to rectify the situation with Pansy.
"Come on Pansy, dear, you need to have a partner," she said as she tried to lure her toward a partner-less Slytherin boy.
"NO. I am Draco's partner," she said testily.
"Listen, he is not in class, and therefore you can not be his partner," she answered trying to remain calm, assigning the poor boy to Pansy, who sat fuming.
The Professor then turned to Harry, who was also without a partner. Unfortunately, he was the only one.
"Well, Mr. Potter, it seems that we have a bit of a problem. I supposed you could join forces with Mrs. Granger and Mr. Weasly…"
Remembering his dream from the other night, Harry paled.
"Um…don't you think-"
But he was cut off by the door swinging open. In walked Draco, but without his usual arrogance.
"Sorry, I…uh…got lost," Draco managed to mutter.
"Ok, but don't make it a habit Mr. Malfoy. Luckily, you're just in time to be paired with Mr. Potter here."
Draco raised an eyebrow but sat down next to Harry anyway. Ron, however, could not contain himself.
"How can you even think about pairing him with that lowlife ferret! He's worth less than…than…dirt! He's only going to try and kill Harry! Are you mad, woman?"
The rest of the Gryffindors murmured in agreement about Harry's welfare as Hermione tried to restrain her partner, hissing "Don't yell at the Professor!"
"Excuse me, but who is in charge here?
"Yeah, but…you said it had to be a realistic choice!" he said grasping for anything to save Harry.
Harry looked up from where he was seated next to his partner.
"And who said it wasn't, Ron?" asked Harry a bit tersely.
The class let out a collective gasp, including Draco who looked like he had swallowed his tongue.
"But come on, mate, you would have told me if you were…if…but…" Ron mover from rambling to gaping as he watched Harry turn to Draco to explain what he'd missed.
"Well, now that that's settled I can explain the project. First let me congratulate you because you have all become the proud parents of a new baby!"
fieryzephyr:ok guys, heres the deal i decided to update today, which is earlier than i would have normally have because i'm going away for 4 days. im not sure how this will affect next weeks update. hopefully i'll be able to write all of ch. 4 read and beta-ed (bcuz beta emily is going with me) before i get back. if thats the case then all i have to do is type it...if not well...
beta emily: aw come on, its supposed to be a vacation. sulks
dumbledore puppet: hey! at least u get to go somewhere! grumbleall i get is a hand shoved up my-
fieryzephyr: ANYway, cheak my website for more info.
beta emily: you spelled check wrong.
fieryzephyr: yeah well its late..and im tired...
beta emily: so fix it biatch!
fieryzephyr: ...check
beta emily: see i am good for something!
PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!