So How Do You Like Your Eggs?

Summary: A new course is being taught at Hogwarts' this year by a new, slightly whacked-out professor. It's Harry and the gang's final year, but what sort of things will be stirred up by this new class? And what exactly happened to Draco over the summer? Crazy assignments, new love interests, odd happenings and definitely some laughs. (oh, and little to no angst! whew) HP/DM (RW/HG and more)

Rating: PG-13/R

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Chapter 4: All Before Lunch

The next day was Saturday and Harry had woken up early to go out flying. Last night's dinner had been unpleasant, to say the least. Everyone, including the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs (who had only heard the news), was wondering what this new professor had in store for them, but more than that they were curious about Harry's agreement to work with the person to whom most referred to as "slytherin scum."

So to avoid any further gossip, Harry had escaped early leaving a dorm full of still sleeping Gryffindors.

Sometime later, Ron awoke and having found Harry's bed empty, went in search of someone else to spend his Saturday with. Pulling on his sweater, he entered into the mostly empty common room and found Hermione doing what she did best, sticking her nose in a book.

Clearing his throat rather loudly, "So…what are you doing today?"

Marking her spot in the heavy book, she looked up.

"Studying the reproductive system of as many magical things as I can. I'm entertaining the idea that perhaps magical creatures function differently than non-magical creatures. I'm up to newts at the moment. Care to join?"

Ron paled slightly and started to edge toward the door.

"Oh, Ronald! I'm only joking! I was only getting a head start on my potions homework."

"Oh…right." He said looking less putout, "It's just like that greasy git to give us work the second we return to Hogwart's! And on the uses of bile, none the less!"

"Yes, well perhaps if you started early like me and didn't dawdle like you manage to do every year…" she said as the last of the remaining Gryffindors in the room went down to breakfast.

"Now, don't start in on one of your lectures, besides, now that we're alone, I had something I wanted to ask you about. Do you think there's something wrong with Harry?"

"How do you mean?" the witch inquired.

Ron rubbed the back of his neck, "I don't know. Just, don't you think it's a bit odd that he willingly let Malfoy, of all people, be his partner? I mean, what was he thinking! He's been a right bastard to us for years and now they're…they're…"

Hermione raised a cynical eyebrow in response.

"I don't know what to call it!"

"Partners on a class assignment?" she said becoming exasperated. "I think you might be exaggerating a bit. They didn't even choose to be partners, it just worked out that way."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. It just seems so weird how calm he seemed about the whole thing."

"How calm who felt about what whole thing?"

Both turned to see a wind blown Harry joining them in the common room.

Surprised by his sudden return, Ron stuttered that it was no one important while Hermione gave him a look saying I-can't-believe-that's-that-best-you-can-do.

Harry was confused by Ron's abrupt explanation but felt that perhaps he shouldn't or didn't want to get involved. So he decided the best thing to do would be to leave the two of them to whatever it was they were discussing and go to his room to change.

"Blimey, that was close," breathed out Ron as the door shut behind Harry.

Hermione took that opportunity to hit Ron on the arm, twice. "Gods, you are such an idiot!" and with that she hauled up her pile of textbooks and went back to her own dorm.

Ron sat down and contemplated what he should do now because homework was defiantly out of the question. His stomach rumbled.

'Ah, breakfast it is then!' he thought and headed downstairs.

Some floors below, Draco was trying to decide whether or not he wanted breakfast himself. Grabbing a silk button down and thinking that at least he should look superb even if he didn't feel that way, he walked toward his own common room. The others in his dorm had already made their way down (he tended to lie in on Saturdays).

When he entered, all eyes turned to him, something not out of the ordinary seeing as who he was. However, their eyes weren't adoring or fearful today. Instead some held a look of confusion, while others were filled with contempt. He realized perhaps skipping last night's dinner hadn't allowed them to cool off as much as he'd hoped.

"Yes?" he asked trying to pull off the Malfoy sneer best as possible.

"We were all just wondering," started Pansy, "what the hell you think you're doing working with some goody-goody Gryffindork?"

"We knew something strange was going on from the start of this term. You've been acting different, not quite your self. Don't try to deny it," Blaise continued as Draco tried to protest.

Pansy spoke, "None of us has yet decided what exactly your problem is this time, but until we do and as long as you continue to associate with that loser Potter…"

"Associate with Potter? I was assigned to him! I can not believe how utterly ridiculous you are all behaving! You call your selves Slytherins-"

"Yes, yes we do and that is why we are choosing not to be seen with a supposedly fellow Slytherin who lowers himself to the level of a Gryffindor, especially one who has been acting off since returning to school. Who knows what or who has made you change but, well, what are we supposed to think?" stated Blaise.

"Fine! Think what you will but you are surely mistaken," he remarked coldly, turning on his heel and heading out of the common room.

'Am I really acting that differently? Well anyone is bound to change a little after…' No, he didn't want to think about the bizarre summer he had had. Plus, he had other things on his mind, like the fact that he was paired with Potter for a school project. How did he expect to pass the class with that oaf making every blunder possible?

And why did Potter agree to be my partner? I'm sure had he known it would somehow involve a child he wouldn't have…but he did say that Professor Amacktherm had mentioned the pairing had to be realistic. WAIT, what did that mean? Potter felt he, himself, Draco Malfoy, was a realistic candidate for fatherhood? And with fatherhood obviously meant matrimony so did that mean Potter could possible want to marry him? No, no I must be reading too much into this. Potter was the only one left when I got there. He probably didn't want to be my partner but just had no other choice. Yeah, that must be it.'

So with his self-denial tightly in place, Draco walked into the great hall in time to grab the last remaining piece of toast and a cup of tea before heading out for a walk around the grounds and some more dwelling.

Fieryzephyr: YAY! an update! i know its not great but...im already working on chapter five! woot!and its gonna have some more of the humor i wanted in this story and it should have some harry/draco interaction.

Beta Emily: YES! I love hot h/d action!

Fieryzephyr: sorry, but i said interaction. but don't worry it's coming ;)

Beta Emily: (pouts)

Fieryzephyr: don't worry you'll be the first to read it! Oh and kudos and a gold star to Beta Emily who beta-ed this chapter at warp speed!

Beta Emily: (beams) So kiss my super beta ass!

Dumbledore puppet: WHAT ABOUT ME! WHY DOES NO ONE CARE? I AM THE FREAKIN' HEADMASTER OF THIS SCHOOL AND I DONT EVEN HAVE (is stuffed into draw)