Thoughts
Sitting here in this gazebo always made me feel calmer, more at peace with my life. For so long, the desired affect had no bearing on my life. I used to sit here and question my life, my choices, and my dreams. I used to think that I'd have the happiest lifestyle ever, but apparently, fate had a different plan.
Fate.
It's funny, Theresa always talked about fate. She said fate brought us together, and fate would never tear us apart. She was right, and then she was wrong. Fate did tear us apart. I married Gwen, mostly out of obligation, and some feelings of love I harbored for her. But, my heart never gave up. My heart always knew who I should have been with.
Theresa.
Theresa was, and still is, the love of my life. We've been through so much heartache and hurt, but it has been through that pain and suffering that my love for her increased. It's so hard to explain, but it's true.
I sit here now, looking for answers. Why did Gwen steal my daughter? How could my life have changed so drastically over the years? I realize that it is all my fault that Gwen left in her mental state. It's my entire fault that I am so weak around Theresa. I used to build walls around my heart because I never wanted anyone to hurt me. Theresa…well she crumbled my walls just by looking at me with her soulful, brown eyes. She was the only woman to bring me to my knees.
Looking up into the night sky, I sighed. My heart has never given up on Theresa. Our bond grew tenfold when we made love on the beach before our wedding. Having her in my arms…her lips against mine….was sheer perfection. But, I destroyed that all when I chose Gwen.
Now, now suddenly, the tables are reversed. Theresa and I are closer than ever, all because of our baby. The baby that Gwen took from us. I never stopped loving Theresa. I always wanted the big family with her. A family full of love, joy, and happiness.
"Ethan."
I hear her sweet voice echo in my head. Realizing I wasn't dreaming, I turned around and saw her standing there. Her big brown eyes held the world inside. Her jet black hair made me yearn to just run my fingers through them as I kissed her.
I got up from the bench, and walked to her. I took her in my arms. The only place I knew we were safe. I could feel her heartbeat against mine. My only thought at that moment was to do the one thing I always wanted to do. I took her face in my hands.
She looked at me. Really looked at me. As if she was staring right into my soul. She could see the desire I had for her. She knew it. I knew it. I couldn't take it anymore, I brought her face closer to mine, and kissed her.
God, how I missed her lips!
Our lips met in the unending kiss of love. We put everything of ourselves into that kiss. The joy, the passion…..the love. God, I never stopped loving this woman. This one woman who could bring me to my knees….who could take me to a place I never experienced with her body….who could touch the deepest part of my soul with one kiss….one look…..
Looking into her eyes after I ended the kiss, I only had one thought running through my head. Suffice to say, my mouth decided to voice that thought.
"I never stopped loving you, Theresa."
I said it. I finally admitted what my heart held prisoner for so long. Saying it out loud released the biggest sense of peace my body has ever experienced.
"I never stopped loving you either."
Hearing her profess her love for me, it broke me. I hugged her…I kissed her….somehow I knew…I just knew….that things would work out the way they were supposed to.
"Ethan….what about Gwen…what about our baby?"
"We're going to find them. And when we get our baby back, we're going to be together. You, me, little Ethan, and our baby girl. I realize now the mistake I made. I've paid for it everyday of my life. I can't keep making the same mistake. Not when you're the only woman I want."
"This isn't a game, Ethan. Is this really what you want?"
"You're all I want." I told her. I kissed her again, reconnecting our lips, our hearts, body and mind.
True to my word for once in my life, I stayed with Theresa. Our baby was found a few months after her kidnapping. I realized, as I watched Gwen being escorted to prison, how far off she was in her mind. I divorced her after the trial, where she was sentenced to life for kidnapping, and two counts of attempted murder, endangering the welfare of a minor, unlawful imprisonment, when she held Theresa captive in the boiler room of the hospital, and unlawful flight in accordance with the kidnapping charges.
When all was said and done, I spent every waking moment with Theresa and our children. Yes, our children. I found out that Little Ethan…the little boy that captured my heart when he was born…was really my son. It amazed me how the love I always felt for that little boy tripled in size when I found out that the dream I always had of him being my baby boy, was in fact, a reality.
Today, I am finally at peace in my life. I am married to my one true love, my soul mate, my best friend, my partner. She encompasses all I ever wanted, and so much more. My past mistakes are just that…in the past. From now on, as Theresa as taught me, my thoughts of the past are not worth looking at. What matters now are my thoughts of the future…the future that I will now, and forever, share with Theresa, Little Ethan, Jane, and any other children we will be blessed with.
The End