It is lunchtime. Long ago the bell had rung for us to enter living hell...
uh, I mean, to go to our classrooms. I have already met many of my
teachers, and many more classmates besides. None so far have interested me
with their annoying personal traumas, and even though I try to shut them
out they keep seeping back into my brain like so much water trickling
through a cracked wooden wall. Brains are not built to keep things out,
just as old wood is not built to hold back a river.
Or at least most brains aren't. If I had a normal brain I probably would have gone psycho by now. I probably will sooner or later.
I am an empath. Empath is a big word that I got from some stupid book I was reading, and it means someone who can psychically know people's feelings. When someone is sad, I know about it. In fact, when someone is sad I not only know about it, I learn who he or she are, why they are sad, when this happened, etc. etc. (That is how I was able to categorize everybody on the courtyard.)
As you can probably tell, this can be fucking irritating sometimes. Have you ever seen that episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer when she could read minds? Picture that, only not quite as bad. Feelings are not nearly as headache inducing as words, which have volume and sound and tangibility, but they are pretty damn close. They are always there and sometimes feelings come with nice little visuals, which I really do not want to see most of the time.
A message to the girl who sits next to me in Social Studies. You need help.
That is all I will say on the matter.
Still, it is lunchtime and the roaring din of emotion calms as the soothing therapy of food kicks in. It is hard to feel anything strongly while you are eating a cheeseburger, except relief, and that is something I will never get tired of feeling.
Lunchtime, for me, however, is not a time for eating. People ask me why I do not eat lunch anymore, and this is my answer. Surround yourself by 120 horny people for two and a half hours, feel the things they are feeling, and THEN try to eat lunch. It is an impossible feat, I tell you. Absolutely impossible....
Besides, I have mush bigger problems than food.
I have to do all my homework in JAPANESE!!!!
Do you understand how HARD that is?! I only know how to write about three words!
And trust me, I am not using ANY of them in my homework. (wink, wink.)
***
As I am trying to figure out my predicament, guess who graces me with his holy presence? It is chocolate marshmallow boy, coming to my rescue.
"Hello," Ryou chirps pleasantly. His day has gone very well, and he is pleased to see me. I bask in his warm, happy glow a couple of seconds before answering.
"Hello Ryou. How did your day go?"
I did not need to ask. I could pretty much guess that it had gone well, that he had little homework and he was planning on seeing his friends after school.
"Very well," he says. "How was yours?"
"Fine."
For a couple minutes there is silence. I think we both like it better that way, when there is nothing being said. I proceed to stare intently at the far wall, wondering what will be for dinner tonight.
Tonight... Oh, yeah. Homework.
I should have brushed up on it before I moved in. I am going to be spending a whole lot of quality time with my dictionary tonight.
I sigh in complete hopelessness. Ryou pats me on the shoulder reassuringly.
FLASH
I am a falcon, soaring high above the desert sand. Below me are my followers, worshipping in their stone temples. Above me is my family looking down upon our land as I am. On the mortal ground I see many of my friends. Sebek, watching from the river. Thoth, the ibis, is flying as I am by the marshes.
I am home.
FLASH
"You're naked," I say in a cracked voice. "I'm naked too."
"I see that," croaked the man. I watch him, intently. Like a hawk. Like me.
"Do you know me?" I ask him. He looks at me with bleary eyes. He is thirsty. I am thirsty, as well. Except I can get a drink if I wish, the man cannot.
"No," he says softly.
"I know you," I tell him. "I watched you in Cairo. I watched you after. Bast likes you."
He thinks. It must be hard for him to think right now. Poor boy.
"You are Horus."
I nod. "Horus. I am the falcon of the morning, the hawk of the afternoon. I am the sun, as you are. And I know the true name of Ra. My mother told me." I puff out my chest.
"That's great," he says politely.
I stare at the ground below us, then drop from the tree.
I am a hawk again, for a moment or two. Just enough to get the baby rabbit and bring it back to my branch. Then I am human.
"Are you hungry?" I ask.
"No," says the man. "I guess I should be, but I'm not."
"I'm hungry." I tear apart the rabbit and eat it quickly, tearing the flesh from the bones and devouring it. It tastes salty and warm, like it should be. I do not eat live food as much as I used to.
After I am done I drop the bones and fur to the ground. He stares at me and I stare back.
"Hey," he says after a long silence.
"Hey."
I stand up on the branch, turn away form the man, and piss out on to the field below. When I am done, I crouch back down onto the branch. The man is not staring at me anymore.
"What do they call you?" I ask. I really do want to know. If he is who they say then the others will want to know.
"Shadow," he says. His voice is even quieter now than before. I think he wants to sleep.
I nod. "You are the shadow. I am the light," I say slowly. "Everything that is, casts a shadow."
"They will fight soon," I continue.
"I don't care."
I watch him breathe, slowly. In, and out. In, and out. He would not be breathing much longer.
"You're dying. Aren't you?"
But the Shadow-Man could no longer speak. Satisfied, I took wing. The others had to know of this.
FLASH
I was in a crowded cafeteria, sitting next to a young boy. I was no longer in Egypt, no longer in a tree with a dying man.
"What just happened?" I asked this question not to Ryou, but to myself, or to no one. It was just a question.
Ryou thought I was talking to him, obviously.
"What do you mean?" he asks. "Nothing just happened."
QED, I think. You just answered your own question. Wisely I decide not to say that to his face. I am in a bad mood now, and I have a nasty habit of losing friends when I am in bad moods.
"Nothing, Ryou."
"Oh. Okay."
The bell rings seconds later and I quickly walk out, leaving Ryou feeling very confused.
I will have to apologize later.
***
I get through the rest of the day with no weird visions, though I do have much more homework. All good feelings I had in the morning are long gone, and the vision of Egypt and the Man still linger fresh in my mind.
For a fair amount of time I was fascinated by Egyptian mythology. I knew almost all of the gods and goddesses by heart and what their powers were. I knew very well who I saw in that vision, I just did not want to accept it.
It was Horus, falcon god of the sky.
I am not unused to visions. I have them sometimes when someone is really stressed out or in pain. But never before have I had one that vivid. most of the time they are just flashes, thoughts or memories or hopes from other people's minds. This was not from a person's mind.
People, real people do not have memories of being a falcon; they do not have thoughts of dying men. In my fourteen years of existence I have never had one that long, that real.
I am standing near the monkey bars; thinking about these things and watching Ryou talk to his friends. They seem to be a group; there is the little one with spiked hair, two gangly boys and a girl, who is very wise and probably slightly empathic.
Although, of course, she could never be as strong as I am...
Ryou sees me and waves. Dear god, he is going to introduce me. I cannot stand introductions.
Spare me, Sheba, I think. Just kill me right now and be done with it.
When I know that Sheba does not wish to hurl fireballs at me and torch me on the spot, I slowly trudge over to where they are standing. I should have prayed to Horus instead, he seems to be paying loads of attention to me today.
As I come closer I learn that they are a nice group, the two taller boys are nice but kind of stupid. The girl, as I suspected, is most definitely empathic and very loyal to her friends. The shorter boy...
There is something weird about him...
When I get close enough, Ryou proceeds to introduce us.
"Raven, these are my friends: Yugi Mutoh, Katsuya Jonouchi, Anzu Mazaki, and Hiroto Honda. Guys, this is Raven."
They greet me enthusiastically. Much more enthusiastically than anyone back in America would do.
"Hello," I say quickly. I just want top get this over with. They will have to dump me soon. I pray to Sheba that they will.
Yugi looks at me. "Hey, we were going to go to my Grandpa's game shop right now, do you want to come?"
Though I do not look at him, I know that Ryou wants me to come. I sigh inwardly. I cannot deny that beautiful face.
"Sure, why not," I say. Screw my homework! I can do it in the morning! In the courtyard, maybe. Perhaps a couple minutes before class. I envision myself writing frantically on a piece of paper against my locker and smile grimly.
I will never pray to Sheba again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here ends my third chapter. I really hope you like it, I sure did. I think the story is actually starting to come together, because before I was playing this tune by ear. At least now I am a day ahead of schedule, although I'm sure that will be quickly compromised because of that hellhole some people have the nerve to call school.
Before I go on with any more chapters, I have a confession to make. I know absolutely NO Japanese. (I'm much better at French) This is quite embarrassing, seeing as how I am doing a story that is taking place in Japan. I do not even have a Japanese-English dictionary that I can scrape up some words from! Aiyah.
Au revoir, les critique!
Khani
Or at least most brains aren't. If I had a normal brain I probably would have gone psycho by now. I probably will sooner or later.
I am an empath. Empath is a big word that I got from some stupid book I was reading, and it means someone who can psychically know people's feelings. When someone is sad, I know about it. In fact, when someone is sad I not only know about it, I learn who he or she are, why they are sad, when this happened, etc. etc. (That is how I was able to categorize everybody on the courtyard.)
As you can probably tell, this can be fucking irritating sometimes. Have you ever seen that episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer when she could read minds? Picture that, only not quite as bad. Feelings are not nearly as headache inducing as words, which have volume and sound and tangibility, but they are pretty damn close. They are always there and sometimes feelings come with nice little visuals, which I really do not want to see most of the time.
A message to the girl who sits next to me in Social Studies. You need help.
That is all I will say on the matter.
Still, it is lunchtime and the roaring din of emotion calms as the soothing therapy of food kicks in. It is hard to feel anything strongly while you are eating a cheeseburger, except relief, and that is something I will never get tired of feeling.
Lunchtime, for me, however, is not a time for eating. People ask me why I do not eat lunch anymore, and this is my answer. Surround yourself by 120 horny people for two and a half hours, feel the things they are feeling, and THEN try to eat lunch. It is an impossible feat, I tell you. Absolutely impossible....
Besides, I have mush bigger problems than food.
I have to do all my homework in JAPANESE!!!!
Do you understand how HARD that is?! I only know how to write about three words!
And trust me, I am not using ANY of them in my homework. (wink, wink.)
***
As I am trying to figure out my predicament, guess who graces me with his holy presence? It is chocolate marshmallow boy, coming to my rescue.
"Hello," Ryou chirps pleasantly. His day has gone very well, and he is pleased to see me. I bask in his warm, happy glow a couple of seconds before answering.
"Hello Ryou. How did your day go?"
I did not need to ask. I could pretty much guess that it had gone well, that he had little homework and he was planning on seeing his friends after school.
"Very well," he says. "How was yours?"
"Fine."
For a couple minutes there is silence. I think we both like it better that way, when there is nothing being said. I proceed to stare intently at the far wall, wondering what will be for dinner tonight.
Tonight... Oh, yeah. Homework.
I should have brushed up on it before I moved in. I am going to be spending a whole lot of quality time with my dictionary tonight.
I sigh in complete hopelessness. Ryou pats me on the shoulder reassuringly.
FLASH
I am a falcon, soaring high above the desert sand. Below me are my followers, worshipping in their stone temples. Above me is my family looking down upon our land as I am. On the mortal ground I see many of my friends. Sebek, watching from the river. Thoth, the ibis, is flying as I am by the marshes.
I am home.
FLASH
"You're naked," I say in a cracked voice. "I'm naked too."
"I see that," croaked the man. I watch him, intently. Like a hawk. Like me.
"Do you know me?" I ask him. He looks at me with bleary eyes. He is thirsty. I am thirsty, as well. Except I can get a drink if I wish, the man cannot.
"No," he says softly.
"I know you," I tell him. "I watched you in Cairo. I watched you after. Bast likes you."
He thinks. It must be hard for him to think right now. Poor boy.
"You are Horus."
I nod. "Horus. I am the falcon of the morning, the hawk of the afternoon. I am the sun, as you are. And I know the true name of Ra. My mother told me." I puff out my chest.
"That's great," he says politely.
I stare at the ground below us, then drop from the tree.
I am a hawk again, for a moment or two. Just enough to get the baby rabbit and bring it back to my branch. Then I am human.
"Are you hungry?" I ask.
"No," says the man. "I guess I should be, but I'm not."
"I'm hungry." I tear apart the rabbit and eat it quickly, tearing the flesh from the bones and devouring it. It tastes salty and warm, like it should be. I do not eat live food as much as I used to.
After I am done I drop the bones and fur to the ground. He stares at me and I stare back.
"Hey," he says after a long silence.
"Hey."
I stand up on the branch, turn away form the man, and piss out on to the field below. When I am done, I crouch back down onto the branch. The man is not staring at me anymore.
"What do they call you?" I ask. I really do want to know. If he is who they say then the others will want to know.
"Shadow," he says. His voice is even quieter now than before. I think he wants to sleep.
I nod. "You are the shadow. I am the light," I say slowly. "Everything that is, casts a shadow."
"They will fight soon," I continue.
"I don't care."
I watch him breathe, slowly. In, and out. In, and out. He would not be breathing much longer.
"You're dying. Aren't you?"
But the Shadow-Man could no longer speak. Satisfied, I took wing. The others had to know of this.
FLASH
I was in a crowded cafeteria, sitting next to a young boy. I was no longer in Egypt, no longer in a tree with a dying man.
"What just happened?" I asked this question not to Ryou, but to myself, or to no one. It was just a question.
Ryou thought I was talking to him, obviously.
"What do you mean?" he asks. "Nothing just happened."
QED, I think. You just answered your own question. Wisely I decide not to say that to his face. I am in a bad mood now, and I have a nasty habit of losing friends when I am in bad moods.
"Nothing, Ryou."
"Oh. Okay."
The bell rings seconds later and I quickly walk out, leaving Ryou feeling very confused.
I will have to apologize later.
***
I get through the rest of the day with no weird visions, though I do have much more homework. All good feelings I had in the morning are long gone, and the vision of Egypt and the Man still linger fresh in my mind.
For a fair amount of time I was fascinated by Egyptian mythology. I knew almost all of the gods and goddesses by heart and what their powers were. I knew very well who I saw in that vision, I just did not want to accept it.
It was Horus, falcon god of the sky.
I am not unused to visions. I have them sometimes when someone is really stressed out or in pain. But never before have I had one that vivid. most of the time they are just flashes, thoughts or memories or hopes from other people's minds. This was not from a person's mind.
People, real people do not have memories of being a falcon; they do not have thoughts of dying men. In my fourteen years of existence I have never had one that long, that real.
I am standing near the monkey bars; thinking about these things and watching Ryou talk to his friends. They seem to be a group; there is the little one with spiked hair, two gangly boys and a girl, who is very wise and probably slightly empathic.
Although, of course, she could never be as strong as I am...
Ryou sees me and waves. Dear god, he is going to introduce me. I cannot stand introductions.
Spare me, Sheba, I think. Just kill me right now and be done with it.
When I know that Sheba does not wish to hurl fireballs at me and torch me on the spot, I slowly trudge over to where they are standing. I should have prayed to Horus instead, he seems to be paying loads of attention to me today.
As I come closer I learn that they are a nice group, the two taller boys are nice but kind of stupid. The girl, as I suspected, is most definitely empathic and very loyal to her friends. The shorter boy...
There is something weird about him...
When I get close enough, Ryou proceeds to introduce us.
"Raven, these are my friends: Yugi Mutoh, Katsuya Jonouchi, Anzu Mazaki, and Hiroto Honda. Guys, this is Raven."
They greet me enthusiastically. Much more enthusiastically than anyone back in America would do.
"Hello," I say quickly. I just want top get this over with. They will have to dump me soon. I pray to Sheba that they will.
Yugi looks at me. "Hey, we were going to go to my Grandpa's game shop right now, do you want to come?"
Though I do not look at him, I know that Ryou wants me to come. I sigh inwardly. I cannot deny that beautiful face.
"Sure, why not," I say. Screw my homework! I can do it in the morning! In the courtyard, maybe. Perhaps a couple minutes before class. I envision myself writing frantically on a piece of paper against my locker and smile grimly.
I will never pray to Sheba again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here ends my third chapter. I really hope you like it, I sure did. I think the story is actually starting to come together, because before I was playing this tune by ear. At least now I am a day ahead of schedule, although I'm sure that will be quickly compromised because of that hellhole some people have the nerve to call school.
Before I go on with any more chapters, I have a confession to make. I know absolutely NO Japanese. (I'm much better at French) This is quite embarrassing, seeing as how I am doing a story that is taking place in Japan. I do not even have a Japanese-English dictionary that I can scrape up some words from! Aiyah.
Au revoir, les critique!
Khani