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Chapter 14

Ariana ran and ran until a stitch began clutching her side, forcing her to a brisk walk instead. Maybe if she just kept moving she could outrun the truth of what she'd just overheard. She breathed deeply, willing herself to calm down but felt nothing more than tears begin to well up.

She sprinted off, avoiding thinking about it, till she was gasping for breath and had to stop again. This time though, the tears coursed down her cheeks and she leaned against the nearest tree for support as she sobbed uncontrollably.

His damning words replaying in her overworked mind. How can fate be so cruel, she wondered between gasps for breath. The man I love killed my father.

Maybe it's not what it sounds like, a hopeful voice began nagging at her. Admit it, you only heard the last part of the conversation. He said the woman he loves, he didn't say me. Am I the woman he loves? Or is there another woman he is in love with?

Ariana pulled herself from her worsening train of the thought and sank to the ground, trying to catch her breath. Knowing full well that the portion she heard was accurate and dully trying to forget the knowledge that he loved her.

She was just going to have to fall out of love with him. She had plenty of practice shutting off her emotions, she'd been doing it for most of her life anyway. Thanks to Remus, she thought bitterly. And for the first time she realized that she actually had allowed herself to feel with Remus. A lone tear trailed down her cheek as she stood determinedly and set off for The Leaky Cauldron with the sole thought of getting the hell out of Hogsmeade.

Three days later Remus was becoming a bit worried. He'd been to Ariana's hotel room but Tom the innkeeper informed him she had left without a word. She also hadn't been to Dumbledore's for her magic lessons.

He was desperate to see her. To talk to her. Anything to know she was alive.

His days were long and painful. He couldn't eat. He couldn't sleep. He couldn't teach. Even his students were beginning to look at him oddly. He had managed to wreck everything in one fell swoop.

The knowledge that he'd killed her father ate at him until he became ill. Dumbledore had actually made him go see Madame Pomfrey yesterday to make sure it wasn't something more serious. But even the fussy nurse told him he was suffering from a broken heart and there wasn't anything she could do for him.

"Time Professor. Time." She had said as she patted his hand comfortingly.

He vehemently wished (for the hundredth time) that Ariana had not followed him that night. Though he understood he had left her abruptly. I should have told her something. Anything, to keep her from finding out the real reason.

He stood in his classroom lost in thought as he replayed that night so many years ago.

It was the morning after the full moon and he had returned to his body as usual but when he woke up he wasn't in the Shrieking Shack he was in the forest. He didn't remember escaping the Shack but this was normal. He never remembered his transformation period.

When he stretched he realized he was holding navy blue material of some kind. He had glanced around to see where he had got it when his eyes fell on a man laying about twenty feet away from him.

He stood quickly and went to the man. His limbs were mangled, sticking out at odd angles and he was bleeding profusely. He was also wearing a navy cloak. His stomach had filled with outright fear.

"Oh Merlin. Oh Merlin." He said with panic as he realized the man was trembling violently. Probably from loss of blood, he had thought.

"Sir? Can you hear me? I'm going to go get help. Try to keep still." He ordered as calm as he could. He took off running towards Hogwarts as fast as his sixteen year old legs would carry him.

He burst through the school gates and miraculously Dumbledore was walking across the grounds at the moment. He had stopped and watched Remus running wildly toward him.

"What is it Remus?" Dumbledore asked curiously.

"Man. Forest. Full moon. Professor..." He'd said through panting breaths. "I think he's dead. I killed him." And with that he'd sank to the ground.

"Get to the castle and wait in my office until I return." Dumbledore had said and walked swiftly to the gate. He Disapparated as soon as he crossed the threshold and Remus did as he was told.

He went to the headmasters office where he waited for what seemed like ages. Until finally Dumbledore returned with Sirius in tow.

"Professor? Is he..." Remus tried to ask but couldn't finish.

And that's when the lie began.

"He's going to make it." Dumbledore said.

Relief had flooded him but he still couldn't keep the image of the mans mutilated arms and legs from his mind. He involuntarily shuddered as he pictured it clearly in his mind.

"Professor Lupin?" Came a concerned voice from the present.

He pulled himself from his revere and realized he had a class full of students staring back at him. He forced an unconvincing smile and moved toward the blackboard.

"Good afternoon. Where were we?" He said in what he hoped was a normal tone.

"Getting ready to begin werewolves, sir."

"Ahh. Yes. Thank you." He answered. Of course. Bitterly painful to the very end.