Chapter 17

Ariana winced as she stretched in the darkness without thinking, her body screaming in protest. She felt as if she'd been run over by a truck. Gingerly she rolled over to her side and tried to get comfortable enough to sleep.

So far she hadn't had any luck getting any zzz's. Maybe if Remus wasn't laying so close, she thought. Of course, he doesn't seem to be having any problem sleeping.

She listened with annoyance to his deep even breathing and yet found it oddly comforting.

If she was being honest with herself, she had to admit that the mere fact that Remus was here and refusing to leave had touched her in a way she couldn't explain.

She was still hurt and angry but she felt herself softening. But she had to ask, could she allow herself to crack?

So what if he were easily the most respectful, charming, nicest, handsome man she'd ever met? The fact remained that he had killed her father. He was the sole reason her life had been such shit since she was eleven.

But he was also the reason her life had become so wonderful now... up until last week anyway. They had so much in common and really clicked on that intimate level. His touch electrified her. Every time she looked into his gentle gray eyes she felt a true connection, and she'd be a fool to think she could ever find that with another man again.

Was that enough to move through this though?

I'm never going to get to sleep at this rate, she told herself as she tried to force her mind to go blank. But all she heard was Remus' contented breathing.

Frustrated, she flopped back onto her back and glared at the ceiling, silently begging for sleep to come. She forced her mind to relax. She was on a boat, bobbing gently in the ocean. Up and down, up and down, the softly lapping waves lulling her into an easy calm. She felt her eyes drift shut as she inhaled the salty fresh sea air.

"No!" An urgent voice yelled, pulling her from daydream. Remus' voice.

She sat up and squinted into the dark. She couldn't really see but noticed that Remus' breathing had turned from peaceful to ragged and she could hear him rustling under the sheets.

"No!" He shouted again as he began thrashing wildly.

Ariana lay back down and tried to ignore the commotion but she couldn't help but wonder what he was dreaming about. A minute later his breathing returned to normal and he had quit moving so she tried to force her mind back to it's calm state.

"Stop! Ariana. Please!" He warned into the silence of the room.

Ariana bolted upright again and felt some of the anger chip away even further as she realized he was dreaming about her. He began whimpering and flailing about for a second time and she found herself swinging out of bed to go to him.

She flinched as she put her weight on her leg, it was still a little stiff from when Madame Pomfrey had healed it. She hobbled as quickly and quietly as she could to where he lay and grabbed his wand from the bedside table.

"Lumos." She said quietly as she raised it to get a good look Remus.

Her heart expanded painfully as she noticed that he had a lone tear on his cheek as his head jerked from side to side while he muttered her name repeatedly.

She put a compassionate hand on his forearm while she shook him gently.

"Remus? Wake up. You're having a nightmare." Ariana said soothingly.

He jerked awake and stared at her wildly for a moment as he sat up, willing his ragged breathing to return to normal. He noticed he was soaked with sweat.

"I dreamed I killed you." He said matter-of-factly, avoiding her eyes.

The ice melted further as she gazed at him, and forced him to look at her.

"I'm very much alive Remus." She assured him.

"You could have been killed by the Whomping Willow." He said remorsefully.

"But I wasn't."

"That was my fault too." He said, misery evident in his voice.

"No it wasn't." She answered firmly. "I should have stayed and faced you like an adult. I'm done running."

Remus stared searchingly into her eyes and shook his head before answering genuinely "You know you're entirely too wonderful. You look beautiful."

"Please." She scoffed as she ran a subconscious hand over her scratched face.

He reached out for her tentatively until he had drawn her into his embrace, resting his chin on her crown.

"I'm utterly serious. You are beautiful." He said as he began rocking her back and forth.

Ariana smiled into his neck but remained silent yet extremely pleased. This was the happiest she'd been in a week.

"So..." He began.

She glanced up at him inquisitively.

"So?"

"Where does this leave us?" He asked bravely.

"I'm not sure Remus." She said honestly but pressed more intimately into his arms.

"How can you ever forgive me for what I've done to you. To your family." He asked in a condemned tone.

"Truth?" She asked.

"Truth."

"I'm not sure I can." She said and took in his crestfallen look.

"But I have to try. True love doesn't happen every day. You have to fight for it." She said reassuringly as she smiled and cupped his cheek.

You have to fight for it, Remus thought with determination. If it's a fight you want, then it's a fight you'll get.