Chapter 4 – Homestar's House and the Bet

In an alley of Mos Espa, Coach Z was talking in his com-link to Strong Bad.

"Strong Bad, you sure nothing of value's on boored?" asked Coach Z.

"Well Coach, there are some supplies like food which we don't eat at all, the Queen's unnecessary wardrobe, but they aren't enough to sell and buy the generator," reported Strong Bad.

"Okay, I'll hope for some miracle," replied Coach Z as he turned off the com-link.

"Oh, not again! I don't want to go into that place of killer droids! They put me on the To-Kill List!" exclaimed Reynold.

"Well, uh, let's go somewhere," announced Coach Z.

So Coach Z, Marzipan, Homsar, and Reynold walked down the Mos Espa street. They passed by an outside café. Reynold saw some marshmallows hung on strings. So, he jumped and ate one.

"Hey! You! You have to pay seven wupiupi!" shouted Bubs.

"What?? This is a wupiupi-flavored marshmallow?" asked Reynold as he spat out the marshmallow, which landed in The Sneak's soup.

The Sneak furiously waved its nose at Reynold as it leaped at Reynold and began attacking by scratching and biting. Then Homestar came.

"Hey stupid, what the cwap awe you doing? Oh, this Cheat, uh, having fun?" asked Homestar.

The Sneak waved its nose furiously at Homestar before scuttling away. Then Coach Z, Homsar, and Marzipan arrived.

"Hey guys! This little Cheat was about to be turned into cheese by The Sneak!" said Homestar.

"Thanks! But I'm lactose intolerant," thanked Coach Z, "Anyway Rornald, be more coreful."

"But I can't help it!" replied Reynold as The Sneak continued eating its soup and the marshmallow.

At where the Nubian was, Strong Bad and Captain Mouth observed there was a sandstorm.

"The freakin' sandstorm will slow them down, as well as us!" exclaimed Strong Bad.

Then Captain Mouth got a message from his com-link.

"MOUTH!" said Captain Mouth.

"You've got mail!" said the voice from the com-link.

Homestar, Coach Z, Marzipan, Homsar, and Reynold were at Bubs' Tatooine Concession Stand.

"I'll buy two of that and two of this," said Homestar.

"That'll be four coins," replied Bubs.

"Okay, uh, want some?" asked Homestar as he showed his two that and two this.

"I think I'll have sorme," replied Coach Z as he put a that in his "pocket" and revealed his light saber on his "belt" to Homestar.

Then the sandstorm began to blow in the city.

"Oh crap! It's a sandstorm! I gotta jet!" exclaimed Bubs as he closed his concession stand, which grew wheels and sped away, and crashed into a building, "That's a nice dent I made there! I'll sell it!"

"So, whewe's you stayin?" asked Homestar.

"Oh, our ship is in the outskirts," replied Marzipan.

"Oh no! It's vewy dangewous in the outskiwts duwing a sandstowm. I'll take you to my house!" said Homestar as he led the way to his house.

So Homestar led the party to his house, opened the sliding door, and led the guests in.

"Hey "mom," I'm home!" called out Homestar.

"How cozy," commented Reynold.

Then Unnamed (my name for her, and she's really not Homestar's mom, do remember that) came.

"Oh my, Homestar, did you bring more junk monsters home again?" asked Unnamed.

"Hey! That only happened once! And that was only a chaiw we lost!" argued Homestar, "These awe my fwiends. Come on Mawzipan, let me show you my 'dwoid'," said Homestar as he ran into a room with Marzipan following.

"Your soon was very nice to ooffer us shelter," commented Coach Z.

"Come again?" asked Unnamed.

In Homestar's room, Homestar revealed his droid, Strong Sad, to Marzipan.

"Isn't he gweat?" asked Homestar.

"Well, you could make him happier. I don't think he'll cheer people up," commented Marzipan.

"Oh man! Well, he's a pwotocol dwoid for mom. Now I'll bwing him to life," said Homestar as he kicked Strong Sad, bringing him to life.

"Oh hello, my named is Strong Sad, Human Cyborg… Hey! How come I have to be a machine?" asked Strong Sad.

"At least Homsar is one too," replied Homer Starrun.

"I want my lawyer!" shouted Strong Sad.

"What lawyer? He jumped off a cliff the last time you hired him," reminded Homer Starrun.

"Oh yeah," said Strong Sad as he began walking, "This floor is unsturdy!"

"AAAAAAA! You can't survive a model cookie!" shouted Homsar.

"What do you mean I'm naked? I'm always like this," complained Strong Sad.

"So, when the stowm's over, wanna see my Podwacew?" asked Homestar.

"Okay," replied Marzipan, thrilled to be not involved with Strong Sad anymore.

In the Queen's Chamber in the Nubian, Mr. Bland sent a hologram message to the ship (yes, now he has hives and a swollen tongue and coughing).

"(Cough!)… cuzoff all food supplies (cough) until you rebern. The beth (cough) toll is catafopic! We (cough) vust vow vown (cough) to their wishes, your figh(cough)ness. Flease tell us what to (cough) foo! You fus contact me!" explained Mr. Bland as he began to have a runny nose.

When the message was over, Strong Bad immediately said, "It's a trick, send no reply or transmission, or else," as he raised a boxing glove.

In Homestar's room, Coach Z was talking to Strong Bad through his com-link.

"Uh, like you said, no reply was sent, nor any emails answered, thanks to you," explained Strong Bad.

"Yor welcome," replied Coach Z.

"What if the people are dying?" asked Strong Bad.

"Well, we're running out of time."

In Coruscant, Darth Sidious and Darth Stick were on a balcony of a building overlooking the city, or city-planet. Planet-city? Anyway, they were hooded. Darth Stick wrote on a whiteboard, "Tatooine is sparsely populated. So if the trace is correct…"

Then Darth Stick erased what he wrote on the whiteboard with a dry eraser and wrote again with a marker, "…I will find them quikly, Master."

"You misspelled quickly. Anyway, move against the Jedi first. Then the Queen will be easily sent back to Naboo, where she will sign the stupid treaty," replied Darth Sidious.

Then Darth Stick wrote, "At last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi. At last we…"

Then Darth Stick erased the message and wrote a new one, "…will have our revenge."

"You have been well-trained my young apprentice, they'll be no match for you. It's too late for them to stop us now. Everything's going as planned. The Republic will be mine soon," said Darth Sidious.

Then Darth Stick wrote, "What about my share? And don't give me a small part of it."

"All right, I'll think of your share when I win, if you live," said Darth Sidious.

In Homestar's home, Homestar, Unnamed, Coach Z, Marzipan, and Reynold were having dinner on a makeshift table by eating the food from the Nubian.

"So, evew seen a Podwace?" asked Homestar.

Suddenly, Reynold' tie extended and grabbed an apple on a plate. Then the tie threw the apple into Reynold's mouth, nearly making him choke as he spat it out and onto a wall. Everyone started at him for a moment.

"Excuse me," said Reyold embarrassingly.

"I hord of Pordracing in somewhere. It's veery dangerous," said Coach Z.

"I can do it! I can do it nine, uh… nine times? Can I do it nine times?" wondered Homestar.

"Ooh! You must have Jordi reflorxes!" exclaimed Coach Z.

"Oh wight! You weminded me…" began Homestar when Reynold's tie did the same thing, but Coach Z grabbed the tie in midair, choking Reynold.

Then Coach Z revealed a little computer chip on the tie, took it off, and the tie became a normal fake tie.

"You won't do that again," said Coach Z as he examined the chip, which said "Cheat Commandos Spy Chip, Cheap as Free!" and threw it away.

"Uh, so, you'we a Jedi, wight? I saw youw light sabew," said Homestar.

"Oops, uh… I guess I killed a Jedi. Yeah! I killed your Jedi!" said Coach Z as he noticed Marzipan staring at him, "What??"

"Uh, you can't kill a Jedi, wight?" asked Homestar.

"I wish," admitted Coach Z.

"I had this one dweam of mawshmallows. I had anothew dweam whewe I was a Jedi and I fweed all the slaves! Hey! Awe you going to fwee the slaves?" asked Homestar.

"Uh, no," replied Coach Z.

"Oh man!" exclaimed Homestar.

"Okay, but I'll tell youse why we're here," said Coach Z, "But don't tell anyone."

"Okay! I didn't tell anyone youw secwet. What's youw secwet?" asked Homestar.

"Uh, we're going to Coruskant, center of the Repooblic, on an important mission, a secret one," explained Coach Z.

"So, why awe you here?" asked Homestar.

"Our ship got damaged, and we're stranded here until we can repair our ship," explained Marzipan.

"I can help! Oh wait, uh, I can't," exclaimed Homestar.

"Yeah, and we need the ports we need," said Coach Z.

"And since we don't have money, we can't get the parts we need," added Reynold.

"I wonder if these junk dealers have any weaknesses," wondered Marzipan.

"Gambling, especially on Podracing," said Unnamed.

"Oh, Poodracing. Greed can be a powerful allee, when used correctly," added Coach Z.

"I built a Podwacew! Fastest evew, going to be entewed in the big wace tomowow in Boonta Eve. Uh, I think you can entew my pod, and, I fowgot the rest of my lines," admitted Homestar.

"Homestar, The Cheat doesn't want you to…" began Unnamed.

"Oh! I wemembewed! The Cheat doesn't know. Coach Z can say its his and I'm the pilot."

"I don't want you to race Homestar. I die everytime The Cheat makes you do it."

"But you'we still alive, and The Cheat made me wace. Besides, they need money fow the pawts."

"Yor mother's right. Any other solutions?" asked Coach Z, but Unnamed shook her head.

"Let's help them! Didn't you say the biggest pwoblem in the univewse is that people don't help each othew?" asked Homestar.

"No," replied Unnamed.

"I'm sure Coach Z doesn't want to put your son, or Homestar, in danger, so we'll hope for a miracle," said Marzipan.

"No, let Homestar help you in Podracing," decided Unnamed.

After the sandstorm, Coach Z, Reynold, Marzipan, and Homsar were walking towards The Cheat's shop.

"Are you sure that we can trust Homestar? The Queen won't approve," said Marzipan.

"The Quorn doesn't need to know," replied Coach Z as he entered the shop.

"Well, I don't approve," said Marzipan under her breath.

In The Cheat's shop, Reynold was being beaten up by a gang of pit droids. Also, Coach Z was making the bet with The Cheat while Homestar did some "work."

"So, Homestar says you want to sponser him in the race. You can't afford the parts, so how can you do this? Not on Republican Credits, duh," said The Cheat.

"The Nubian will be will eentry fee," replied Coach Z.

Then Coach Z took out a small device which made a hologram of the Nubian.

"Ooh! I want a Nubian! I never got one for Decemberween! Nor my Cheatday!" exclaimed The Cheat.

"It's in good odor, except for the ports we need," said Coach Z.

"I see… But what Pod are you using? Useless over here broke my Pod in the last race. It's that second pile to your right in the junkyard," explained The Cheat.

"Hey! I saved the Pod, into a pile of junk. But The Sneak used his flash vents to like, tuwn it into a pile of junk!" argued Homestar.

"Oh be quiet and do some 'work,'" ordered The Cheat.

"He's using my orn. Fastest one ever built," lied Coach Z.

"Oh, did you kill anybody, because I want to know if you killed any of the people I hate, like you. Anyway, so you supply the Pod and the Nubian, I supply Useless. So we split the winnings 50-50?" asked The Cheat.

"Whort? Forfty-forfty?" asked Coach Z, "Why not you front the money? If we win, you get the winnings, minus the ports needed I need. If we lose, you keep the ship," explained Coach Z.

"Wait, if you win, you're giving me the money for the parts! So I win it all! But I want a Nubian too! DEAL!" exclaimed The Cheat as he shook hands with Coach Z with great difficulty, since The Cheat's so short compared to Coach Z.