Chapter 8 – A look in Politics and Jedis
In the Queen Quarters of Coruscant, Homestar went to a door with two knights.
"What shall you want? A challenge? Or a moat?" asked the knight.
"Mawzipan, Mawzipala's handmaiden," replied Homestar.
"Okay, go in," ordered the knight as they opened the door, allowing Homestar to go in.
Homestar was greeted by a handmaiden, What's Her Face.
"Yes, what do you want?" asked What's Her Face.
"Uh, whewe's Mawzipan?" asked Homestar.
"Who's him?" asked Queen Marzipala as he came.
"Homestar Runner, to see Marzipan, your Highness," replied What's Her Face.
"I've sent Marzipan on an errand," said Queen Marzipala.
"I'm going to the Jedi Temple to stawt my twaining, I hope," said Homestar, "I may not see her again, so, uh, I wanted to say good-bye."
"We'll tell her that. We're sure her heart goes with you," said Queen Marzipala.
"Thank you Mawzipala!" said Homestar as he ran off without bowing (how rude).
In the Coruscant Galactic Senate Building, thousands of senators and aides sat in a circular assembly area. Chancellor Princey was on an elevated area in the center. Senator Homeschool, Queen Marzipala, two of her handmaidens, and Captain Mouth were in a floating platform that was flying slowly around.
"The Chair recognizes Senator Homeschool of Naboo," announced Chancellor Princey.
"Supreme Chancellor, delegates of the Senate, a tragedy…" began Homeschool, but for your sake (as the reader), this is all boring politic stuff. So I'll reduce it in a paragraph.
Basically, Homeschool announced what's going on at Naboo and the Trade Federation System. Then Queen Marzipala says practically the same thing Homeschool says, but it's more about the droid army invading Naboo. Then another Senator (who is probably Blue Laser's friend/relative/ally/someone who supports Blue Laser's invasion) tries to suggest that a commission should be sent to Naboo to confirm the whole thing, but Princey overrules that. Then Homeschool told Marzipala what to do, and Princey had Marzipala speak.
"I will not defer. I have come to resolve this attack, but all you do is bicker on nonsense while my people suffer and die! I think new leadership is needed! I move for a 'vote of no confidence' in Chancellor Princey's leadership!" declared Queen Marzipala.
"What? No!" cried out "Chancellor" Princey.
Soon, the assembly was full of voices chanting, "Vote now! Vote now!"
"You see your Majesty," Homeschool said to Queen Marzipala, "the tide is with us. Princey will be voted out, and they'll elect a new Chancellor, like me."
In the balcony of the Jedi Temple, Coach Z and Strong Bad were discussing about Homestar becoming a Jedi.
"Homestar will not pass the test. He's too old," said Strong Bad, "And won't become… Oops! Better not spoil Episode Three!"
"Homestar will become a Jordi," said Coach Z.
"No he won't."
"Will too."
"No he won't."
"Will too."
"No he won't."
"Will too."
"Don't defy the Council again, Coach. That's embarrassing," said Strong Bad.
"I'll do whort I must," said Coach Z.
"Coach, you should be sitting in the Council now! Instead, you're a, lower than Council."
"You have much to learn, my approrntice."
In the Council Chambers, Homestar was standing in front of the council, reciting what's on Strong Mad's hand held computer screen.
"A ship," said Homestar as Strong Mad punched a button on the computer, "A cup," then Strong Mad punched the computer screen, "A big hole in the computew box," then Strong Mad ripped the computer in pieces, "Computew shweds."
"Good, good, young one. How feel you?" asked Pom-Pom.
"Uh, is the heating on?" asked Homestar.
"YES!" shouted Strong Mad.
"Uh, cold," replied Homestar.
"Afraid are you," bubbled Pom-Pom.
"I'm not afwaid!"
"See through you, we can," bubbled Pom-Pom.
"Okay! What am I going to say next? Mastew Fwenchman, ow Mastew Hoffman?" asked Homestar.
"First Frenchman Master is. Change to then Hoffman Master," bubbled Pom-Pom.
"Whoa," exclaimed Homestar, "You'we the only one who got it wight!"
"BE MINDFUL!" shouted Strong Mad.
"Your thoughts dwell on your motherrrrrrrr!" said Master Wheelchair.
"I miss her," said Homestar.
"Afraid to lose her, I think," bubbled Pom-Pom.
"What's that got to do with anything?" asked Homestar.
"Everything! Fear is the path to the dark side! Fear leads to anger... anger leads to hate... hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you."
In Homeschool's quarters, Queen Marzipala was looking at something outside the window, maybe looking at some speeder crashes, like the one which created a big fiery ball seen from space. Then Reynold walked up to her and began talking to her.
"You think your people are going to die?"
"I don't know."
"The Cheat Commandos get killed too, won't they?" asked Reynold with worry.
"I hope not," replied Marzipala.
"You know, the Cheat Commandos won't give up without fight. We have a grand army, which is why you don't like us, I think," explained Reynold.
Just then, Homeschool and Captain Mouth walked into the room.
"Your HIGHNESS, Senator Homeschool has been NOMINATED to succeed Princey as SUPREME CHANCELLOR!" announced Captain Mouth.
"If I'm elected, I'll make the Republic a democracy again, put an end to corruption, stop the Trade Federation, and free all people," explained Homeschool.
"Who else is nominated?" asked Marzipala.
"I don't know, but it doesn't MATTER!" said Captain Mouth.
"I feel confident. Our 'situation' will create a strong sympathy vote for us. I will be Chancellor, I promise you," said Senator (and maybe future-Chancellor) Homeschool.
"But by the time the election's over, our people and cities and way of life will be gone," said Marzipala.
"I understand your concern, Your Highness, but the Federation has control over our planet. The law is in their favor," said Homeschool.
"Okay, then I'll go back to Naboo, bye!" said Marzipala as she began to leave.
"No wait! They'll make you sign a treaty!" warned Homeschool.
"What treaty? Captain, ready my ship!" ordered Marzipala.
"Wait! It's not safe!"
"No where's safe, but I'm still going back. BYE!" said Marzipala as she and her handmaidens and Captain Mouth left the room.
In the Council Chambers of the Jedi Temple, Coach Z, Strong Bad, and Homestar were in front of the Jedi Council.
"TOO HIGH MIDIC!" shouted Strong Mad.
"The force is strong with him!" said Wheelchair.
"He shorl be trorined, then," said Coach Z.
"NO HE WON'T!" shouted Strong Mad.
"What?"
"TOO OLD AND MAD!" shouted Strong Mad.
"Like you?" muttered Strong Bad so only Coach Z could hear him.
"He's the chorsen one, I know it!" said Coach Z.
"Clouded Homestar's future is, masked by his youth," bubbled Pom-Pom.
"I'll troin him then, as a Pordawan."
"An apprentice you have, Coach Z. Impossible, to take a second," bubbled Pom-Pom.
"FORBIDDEN!" shouted Strong Mad.
"Oh shut up," said Jedi Master Tompkins (teenager-version).
"Strong Bad's ready," said Coach Z.
"And he's not lying. I'm ready for the freakin' trials," said Strong Bad.
"Ready so early, are you? What know you of ready?" asked Pom-Pom.
"What? I'm ready! Seriously!" argued Strong Bad.
"Well, he's hordstrong, but he needs to learn a little from me," explained Coach Z.
"What? How dare you support me in a bad way, when you just supported me in a good way!" shouted Strong Bad.
"GO BACK WITH MARZIPALA! VOTING TIME!" shouted Strong Mad.
"And draw out the Queen's attacker," ordered Pom-Pom.
"Events are going too fast!" said Wheelchair.
"Homestar's fate will be decided later," bubbled Pom-Pom.
"So I take him for now, right?" asked Coach Z.
"Take him with you. Train him not," bubbled Pom-Pom.
"PROTECT HER, NO WAR!" ordered Strong Mad.
"May the Force be with you," bubbled Pom-Pom.
On the landing platform during the nighttime, the Jedis and Homsar were about to enter the Nubian.
"Homestar can be dangerous. Why can't you sense it? Are you getting old or something?" asked Strong Bad.
"His fate is uncortain, not dangeresque, I mean, dangerous. The Council will decide on Homestar's future," said Coach Z as Strong Bad walked into the ship. Then Coach Z goes to Homestar.
"Hey Coach, I don't want to be a pwoblem!" said Homestar.
"You won't be. I'm not orllowed to troin you, but wortch me and be mindful. Focus detormines on yor reality. Stay close with me and be safe," explained Coach Z.
"Hey Coach, Pom-Pom said something about midi-chlowians. What awe they?"
"Some life form in yor cells that cormmunicates with the Force," replied Coach Z.
"What does that mean?" asked Homestar.
"We're, um, well, without midi-chlorians, life forms do not exist, and there's no Force. And some other stuff like that, and they're like, morgic, thingies, that can do a lot of good stuff, and does life storff. I'll tell you later," explained Coach Z.
"That was a tewwible explanation," said Homestar.
Then Queen Marzipala, her handmaidens, Captain Mouth, and Senator Homeschool walked up to Coach Z.
"Yor highness, it's a pleesure to protect you again," said Coach Z.
"I welcome your help. Senator Homeschool fears the Federation wants to destroy me," said Queen Marzipala.
"That's whot I said the forst time!" said Coach Z.
Then Queen Marzipala, her handmaidens, Coach Z, and Captain Mouth went into the ship. Reynold followed with Homestar and Homsar.
"WE'RE GOING HOOOOOME! At last! Not that I like it there," said Reynold as he went into the ship.
"Come on Homsaw," said Homestar as he went into the ship.
"Take my time! 1, w, 5, and I can count to toot!" said Homsar as he went into the ship.