Chapter 9 – Return to Naboo/I think this is a Longer Chapter
In the throne room in the palace in Theed in Naboo, a hologram of Darth Sidious was talking to Blue Laser and his minion.
"The Queen is on her way to you. She's of no use. Destroy her," ordered Darth Sidious.
"OKAY!" shouted Blue Laser.
"Now that I see you have complete control over Naboo, I'll send my apprentice, Lord Stick, over to you," said Darth Sidious as his hologram disappeared.
"A Sith lord here with us, sir?" asked the Blue Laser Minion.
In the cockpit of the Nubian just close to Naboo, Senor was showing Homestar some controls of the ship.
"What's that?" asked Homestar.
"The forward stabilizer," said Senor.
"They control the pitch?" asked Homestar.
"Yep! You catch on pretty quick," observed Senor.
"And this?" asked Homestar as he pressed a button, making Limozeen play "Nite Mamas" from the radio at maximum volume.
"NITE MAMAS! ALWAYS SAVE A DANCE FOR ALWAYS SAVE A DANCE FOR A CRAZY MAMMA JAMMA LIKE ME…"
Senor immediately turned the radio off.
In the Queens Chamber, after listening to "Nite Mamas" for a few seconds, Coach Z and Strong Bad commenced talking to Queen Marzipala.
"The moment they FIND you, they'll ARREST you and FORCE you to sign a treaty," said Captain Mouth.
"I know, so what are you going to do?" asked Coach Z.
"I'm taking back my planet," replied Queen Marzipala.
"How? There are like, TWELVE of us, no army," said Captain Mouth.
"I can't fight a war for you. I'm here to protect you," said Coach Z.
"Reynold," called out Queen Marzipala to the startled Reynold.
"Me, your highness?" asked Reynold.
"Yes, I need your help," said Queen Marzipala.
"Whoa! That's a new record! The Queen asking Reynold for help!" exclaimed Strong Bad.
Soon, the Nubian approached the blockade surrounding Naboo, which is now made up of one battleship, the one that controlled the droids.
"Look, there's only one!" said Senor.
"Oh, I guess there's going to be no war, and the invasion is over, so we can just…" began Strong Bad.
"Oh wait, that's the Droid Control Ship, very important, can start a war," said Senor.
"Oh crap. Let's just go into Naboo and save the day. We don't have a lot of time."
Soon, the Nubian landed in a swampy forest in Naboo close to the Cheat Commandos Underwater Headquarters Playset. As Reynold went to the Cheat Commandos Underwater Headquarters Playset, Strong Bad and Coach Z had a discussion.
"Reynold's on his way to the underwater playset," said Strong Bad.
"That's good," replied Coach Z.
"Do you think the Queen's idea will work?" asked Strong Bad.
"Well, the Chort Commandos are pretty good, and we can't use our powers to help the Queen," replied Coach Z.
"Anyway, sorry for my doubting Homestar will be a Jedi. Thanks for saying I'm a good Jedi," said Strong Bad.
"No prablem! You'll be a sooccessul Jedi Knight one day!" said Coach Z.
After Reynold somehow went into the Cheat Commandos Underwater Headquarters Playset (remember, he can't swim), he left the water while being chased by an alligator.
"And don't come back!" growled the alligator as it went back in the water.
"So, where's the army?" asked Coach Z.
"Uh, the headquarters playset's empty," replied Reynold.
"Oh drat," said Strong Bad.
"But I know this safe place where the Cheat Commandos go in case of emergency. Let's go there," said Reynold.
So Reynold led the party to the safe place.
"So, here is Queen Marzipala of Naboo," announced Gunhaver as he showed the party to the Cheat Commandos.
"Ha, ha, ha! They're not Cheats!" teased Fightgar.
"So, Reenolds, you come back and breeng strangers. Who are zee others?" asked Flashfight.
"I'm Queen Marzipala of Naboo. I come before you in peace," explained Queen Marzipala.
"Oh, all of yous, I hate you all. You should diee, I know it," replied Flashfight.
"We wish to form an alliance," said Queen Marzipala.
Suddenly, Marzipan stepped forward.
"Your honor," said Marzipan.
"Who are you?" asked Flashfight.
"Who do you think I am?" asked Marzipan.
"A handmaeeden," said Flashfight.
"I am Queen Marzipala," admitted Marzipan, surprising all others besides some handmaidens (especially the decoy) and the Jedis, "This is a decoy, 1936 Marzipan. It's for my protection, and she's my bodyguard. Sorry for the confusion, but I needed protection, really! Although we don't really agree, your Honor, our two great societies have always lived in peace. The Trade Federation destroyed what we worked hard to build. If we don't act quickly, all will be lost. I ask you to help us, no… I beg to you to help us," explained Marzipan as she dropped to her "knees".
"We are your humble servants," continued Marzipan, "Our fate is in your hands."
Slowly, Captain Mouth, his troops, the handmaidens, Homestar, the two Jedis, and Reynold dropped to their knees in front of Flashfight, which made him laugh.
"You zeenk you're no better than us? I like zees. Maybee wee should bee friends," replied Flashfight.
This made all in the safe place cheer.
In the throne room of the Naboo Palace, Blue Laser, his minion, and Darth Stick were in front of the hologram of Darth Sidious. Blue Laser was doing the talking.
"WE'VE SENT OUT PATROLS AND FOUND THEIR STUPID STARSHIP IN THE SWAMP! IT WON'T BE LONG MY LORD!" screeched Blue Laser.
"This was an unexpected move from her. It's too aggressive. Lord Stick, be mindful," said Darth Sidious as Darth Stick nodded, "Make them make the first move."
Firebert was on a stone head, looking through electrobinoculars. Then he saw something and squeaked to Homestar who ran to Marzipan, the Jedis, and the Cheat Commandos.
"They'we hewe!" shouted Homestar.
Meanwhile, Flashfight was having a talk with Reynold.
"You're grand to breeng Naboo together," complimented Flashfight.
"Oh, no, no, no," said Reynold happily.
"So, zat's why you're going to bee general," said Flashfight.
"GENERAL?" asked Reynold in bewilderment before fainting.
Meanwhile, four speeders arrived with Captain Mouth and his larger troop of soldiers.
"What's the situation?" asked Marzipan.
"Almost everyone's in camps. A few guards and police have FORMED an underground movement. I BROUGHT as many soldiers as I could. The Federation's army is so much LARGER than we THOUGHT, and much STRONGER," explained Captain Mouth before the irritated Strong Bad continued.
"Can you please talk NORMALLY?" asked Strong Bad with anger.
"Hey, you made me," retorted Captain Mouth.
"Hey! Ixnay on the Teen Girl Squad… nay," replied Strong Bad.
"Okay. Your HI… highness, I don't think we can win this war," said Captain Mouth.
"The battle is a diversion. The Cheat Commandos must draw the Droid Army away from the cities," said Marzipan as Homsar spit out a hologram projector from his mouth, which showed the Naboo palace.
"Ew! It came from his mouth!" exclaimed Strong Bad.
"It's better than coming from yours," retorted Marzipan.
"I hate her," muttered Strong Bad under his breath.
"We can enter the city using the secret passages on the waterfall side. Once we get to the main entrance, Captain Mouth will create a diversion so we can enter the palace and capture the Viceroy. Without the Viceroy, they'll be lost and confused," explained Marzipan, "What do you think, master Jedi?" asked Marzipan.
"The Vorceroy will be well gorded," commented Coach Z.
"The difficulty is getting in the throne room. Once we do that, we WO… won't have a problem," said Captain Mouth.
"There's a porsibility that many Chorts will get killed," said Coach Z.
"Wee're readee to do our part," said Flashfight.
"We have a plan to immobilize the droid army. We'll send what pilots we have to knock out the Droid Control Ship orbiting the planet. If we can get past their shields, we can sever communication and the droids will shut down," explained Marzipan.
"Nice plan, but the forters' worpons may not be enough to penetrate the shorlds on the control ship," said Coach Z.
"There's an even bigger danger. If the Viceroy escapes, then all will be for nothing as he'll come back with another army of those weirdo droids," warned Strong Bad.
"That's why we must capture the Viceroy. Everything depends on it, not that Strong Bad cares," said Marzipan.
"What? Why?" asked Strong Bad.
"Oh nothing," replied Marzipan as innocently as possible.
In the throne room of the palace, a hologram of Darth Sidious was talking to Blue Laser, his minion, and Darth Stick.
"She's foolish, but today, she's even more foolish," said Darth Sidious.
"WE'RE SENDING ALL TROOPS TO MEET HER TROOP BY THE SWAMPY AREA! IT APPEARS TO BE MADE OF THE CHEAT COMMANDOS! WE'LL CRUSH THEM!" shouted Blue Laser.
"Proceed, wipe them out. All of them," ordered Darth Sidious.
Soon, action figure storage trucks drove out of the swamp and to the field. Soon, all Cheat Commandos got out, which included other Cheat Commandos in the B rank, the C rank, the D rank, and so on, so there were a lot of the same Cheat Commandos, but no recognition of that kind was made. Reynold and Gunhaver (from the A rank) were in front, but behind the Fireberts with Foxface's bulletproof and blaster-proof handbags.
Soon, the troop transports with the droids arrived a mile away from the Cheat Commandos.
"Steady, steady," ordered Reynold, who was feeling nervous himself.
"Maybe I ought to motivate them," said Gunhaver as he faced the Cheat Commandos, "I see in your eyes, the fear that will take the heart of me!"
"Do something original, not from Lord of the Rings!" interrupted Reynold.
"Oh all right. All right Cheat Commandos, are you ready to win for Naboo?"
"Sir, yes, sir!" replied the Cheat Commandos.
"Are you going to let Blue Laser simply crush us?" asked Gunhaver.
"Sir, no, sir!" replied the Cheat Commandos.
"Does Foxface know you think she's ugly?" asked Gunhaver.
"Sir, ye… no… what?" mumbled the Cheat Commandos.
"It's a trick question, because either way, it shows you think…" began Gunhaver when Reinforcements, crying, interrupted, "Yes, she dors! I think she's orgly!"
Then Foxface arrived and slapped Reinforcements in the face. Then she left.
"Nice motivating," said Reynold sarcastically.
"Thanks, Reynold! Energize the shields," ordered Gunhaver.
Suddenly, the Crackotages activated a machine that made a large deflector shield around them.
In the Central Plaza of Theed, the Jedis, Homestar, Marzipan, her troops, Homsar, and 1936 Marzipan walked quietly to avoid being seen by the battle droids. Then Marzipan went by an entrance and signaled Captain Mouth by another entrance with a red light, who responded with a purple light. Then Coach Z began talking to Homestar.
"Once we get inside, find a place to horde and stay there," ordered Coach Z.
"So what if it has no stuff to take?" asked Homestar.
"Just stay there," said Coach Z.
Suddenly, a hovercraft with a laser and two soldiers arrived and shot a laser at a ship with four droids guarding it, blowing it up and destroying the four droids. Then the droids opened fire on Captain Mouth and his troops while Marzipan, her troops, the Jedis, Homestar, and Homsar went to the main hangar unscathed.
In the main hangar, battle droids began firing at Marzipan's party as the troops shot the battle droids with blasters. Coach Z and Strong Bad helped by using their lightsabers to deflect the battle droids' shots. Homestar ran to a Naboo Starfighter to hide.
In the palace throne room, Blue Laser and his minion were watching the battle outside.
"I THOUGHT THE BATTLE WAS GOING TO BE FAR, FAR AWAY! NOT HERE! IT'S TOO CLOSE!" screeched Blue Laser.
"What's going on, sir?" asked the minion.
"WELL, THAT'S OBVIOUS, MR. TOO-OBLIVIOUS!" screeched Blue Laser.
In the fields, the droid troop transports began firing lasers at the Cheat Commandos, but their shield deflected the shots. Finally, they opened up to reveal racks of battle droids. The Blue Laser minions in the droid control ship in space activated the battle droids, who went into their battle positions, which meant standing up and drawing their blasters.
"As the Gungans say, ouch time," said Gunhaver.
"Don't make me feel worse," said Reynold.
Then the thousands of battle droids walked through the deflector shield and began opening fire on the Cheat Commandos. While the Gunhavers, Fightgars, Reinforcements, and Ripbergers fought with guns, shurikens, and Justice Rocket Backpack Rocket Rocket Rockets to attack the droids, the other flung blue energy balls called boomers at the droids to short them out. Reynold attempted to fling a blue energy ball, but he spun it in a wide circle, endangering the Cheat Commandos around him. He still destroyed a battle droid.
In the main hangar, the battle droids were destroyed.
"Get to your ships!" Marzipan ordered the pilots.
So the pilots and their Homsar units went to their Starfighters. Homsar (the blue one) went into Homestar's Starfighter.
"DaAaAaAa! And also with you!" shouted Homsar.
Then the Starfighters flew away to the sky. One Starfighter was shot by the tank firing at them, causing it to fall, crash, and explode on the ground. Then Marzipan's party began to head towards the exit.
"Hey guys! Take me! Take me! I won't be that destwuctive, weally," said Homestar.
"Homestar, stay there," ordered Coach Z.
"Who awe you to mess with me and owdew me awound?" asked Homestar.
"Coach Z," replied Coach Z.
"Yeah, you'we pwobably wight," said Homestar.
Marzipan's party headed toward the exit door. When the door opened, dramatic background music began playing…
"Whoa, dramatic background music," observed Strong Bad and Homestar (with his speech impediments).
"Yes, thank you for noticing," said Homer Starrun.
… as the door opened and the dramatic background music played, they all saw Darth Stick waiting for them. While Captain Mouth, Marzipan, and their troops backed away, Coach Z and Strong Bad stepped forward.
"We'll horndle this," said Coach Z.
"We'll take the long way," said Marzipan.
"Aww…" moaned Captain Mouth in complaint as the troops went the other way.
The two Jedis and Darth Stick took off their capes. Coach Z ignited his green lightsaber and Strong Bad ignited his blue lightsaber. Darth Stick ignited both ends of his double-edged red lightsaber. And this begins one of the greatest, if not, greatestlightsaber battle ever in the Star Wars saga (in my opinion).
TO BE CONTINUED…