A/N: This is the Gundam version of the popular Lewis-Clark joke. Enjoy! (By the way, Taeko is a character I made for a Gundam Wing/Zoids story I wrote a long time ago. I can't remember enough to revive the story, so this might be the only chance for you to meet him. Taeko is a 14-year-old child prodigy in my story who likes to modify his gundam with his own set of weaponry; he also likes to build zoids in his spare time.)

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, Zoids, Zoids/Zero, or any of their characters.

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Left, Right?

Taeko has just finished building an originally brand new Shield Liger. He inspects it and then starts cleaning and inspecting the Gundams. As he was climbing down from the Shield Liger, Heero appeared.

"Hey Taeko," he greeted the boy. "Is Zero ready?"

"Hey, Heero," Taeko greeted back. "Zero's almost done. He just needs a little cleaning and inspecting. The process will take a while seeing the whole scale of the suit itself. In the meantime, could you do me a favor?"

"Sure," replied Heero. "What do you need?"

"Could you go to Area 52 to test out my latest Shield Liger?" asked Taeko. "I was planning to do it myself, but I just can't find the time between maintaining the Gundams and taking tech requests from the others. Usually, I'd ask Howard to do it, but he's gone off somewhere."

"I'll do it," agreed Heero. "I don't really have anything else to do. Where's the zoid?"

"It's in stall 163," replied Taeko.

Just then Duo strolled into the hangar with a cheery disposition.

"Hey, Heero!" he greeted the Japanese pilot. "Watcha doing?"

"Something," sneered Heero who then turned his back towards Duo.

"You're not still mad that I destroyed your laptop, are you?" asked the Deathscythe pilot.

At the sound of that incident, Heero silently began steaming with anger.

"You shouldn't have left it on the table so carelessly," said Duo, putting his hands on his hips.

"Since when was a table designed for sitting?" Heero retorted angrily.

Ignoring Heero's outburst, Duo sees the new Shield Liger and almost instantly his eyes lit up brightly.

"Oooohhhh!" he squealed with excitement. "It's a new Shield Liger!"

"I'm testing it," Heero spoke up quickly.

"Hey, Taeko," Duo called out to the young boy. "Can I test it too?"

"Well, it does have two pilot seats," articulated Taeko as he contemplated.

At the possible notion of Duo riding with him in the zoid, Heero shakes his head and waves his hand in a "NO" signal at Taeko.

"I guess so," Taeko finally answers after a moment of thought.

Heero hung his head at the sound of the boy's answer and sighed in exasperation. Duo hops into the pilot seat as Heero sits behind him in the copilot seat.

"I'm letting you pilot as long as you listen to what I say, got it?" declared Heero.

"Yes, Heero," Duo sighed in disappointment.

The two of them headed out to Area 52 with the Shield Liger.

"Okay, Duo," Heero spoke up after a few minutes. "Now turn left."

"Left?" asked Duo.

"Right," replied Heero.

"Right?" asked Duo.

"No, left," reiterated Heero.

"Left?" asked Duo.

"Right," replied Heero.

"Right?" asked Duo.

"No, left," reiterated Heero. He was starting to get irritated by Duo's incompetence.

"Left?" asked Duo.

"Right," sighed Heero.

"Right?" asked Duo.

"No," groaned Heero. "Left."

The Shield Liger continues on a straight course as Duo and Heero tried to decide where to go. Suddenly, a cliff appears 10 meters in front of the Shield Liger. Heero discovers that the path before the zoid was running out so he started to panic.

"Duo left, Duo left, Duo left!" he practically screamed out at the pilot before him.

"But Heero," said Duo. "I didn't leave. I'm still here."

Too late. The Shield Liger dropped right off the cliff and went down fast. Duo was too busy screaming to activate the Shield Liger's beam shield to save the precious zoid. Seconds later, the Shield Liger hit the bottom like a rock. Crrunnncchh!

"Oh," exclaimed Duo. "You mean 'Duo turn left'."

Heero sighed and hit his head repeatedly on the pilot seat.

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That afternoon.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!"

Taeko screamed in horror as he looked at the nearly destroyed Shield Liger with eyes wide with fury.

"DUUUOOOOO!!!!!!" he screamed out.