Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine.
After that angsty Quatre fic, Trowa wanted something happier.
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He's getting that look again.
His head tilts down, just a bit, as if he has invisible horns he's aiming at me, his eyes squinch up at the corners and the line of his mouth is firm.
I've seen that look a lot.
Quatre's stubborn look.
He got that look on his face at the end of the war, when I told him that I was going back to the circus, that there was no space in the life of Quatre Winner for a nobody like me.
He gave me that look and asked if I loved him or if what we'd had between us was merely born out of the war and a desire to be close to someone.
I told him no. My heart was his always, but…
Quatre cut me off there. That was it. I loved him, he loved me, and I wasn't a nobody. I could go back to the circus, but this was not the end of what was between us.
It wasn't. I saw Quatre frequently. I went to him or he came to me, but we made time and space for each other in our lives.
My circus family loved him. Quatre always lent a hand when needed, no matter how awful the job. He wasn't stuck up or superior with them. He even took the time to make friends with Cathy, not only because she was important to me, which would have been enough, but also because he wanted to be her friend. He wanted to see her as I saw her, my beloved adoptive sister.
His family hated me. Oh, they were well bred about it, no question, but they despised the fact that their baby brother had taken up with a circus clown. Worse still, a nobody with no name but a borrowed one. The whispered comments and innuendos didn't bother me, but they made Quatre furious. More than once he 'spoke' to them about their behavior, but it didn't cease. They thought I was merely a pastime for their brother, one that he'd eventually grow out of, a fortune hunter.
I know that several times they tried to introduce him to more suitable significant others, male and female. I know that he turned them down flat every time.
Sometimes they even did it in my presence, as if to show me how much better Quatre could be doing for himself if I would just run along.
I was not going to run along. As long as Quatre wanted me I would not leave him.
Even if he asked me to, I don't think I could've.
I wasn't there when they decided to up the ante.
A group of his relatives approached him about 'carrying on the Winner name'. Quatre said that he hardly needed to- there were tons of nephews and nieces running around the sphere with the Winner name.
They protested that WEI had to be left to his children.
He replied that if he needed to, he'd test tube some.
They told him that to retain his social status he needed a suitable spouse test tube those children with.
I'll bet he had that look on his face when he told them, fine, they wanted him married, he'd marry me.
They protested that he needed a female.
He said he'd ask Cathy to help out.
They protested that he'd ruin the reputation of the company having children with and marrying into a common family.
He said that he didn't want to ruin the reputation of his company.
So he quit.
I don't think they quite expected that.
The first I knew about it was when he showed up at my trailer, very early one morning, suitcase in hand and asked if I thought the manager would hire him on.
I remember blinking at him in surprise, still only half awake, and not sure what exactly the hell was going on.
I know I asked him what he thought he'd be good at.
He said he'd be more than happy to provide me with a demonstration. He dropped his suitcase, and pulled me back to bed.
I told him afterwards that though I'm sure that people would pay a fortune for his 'talents', I'd rather keep those for myself. I suggested that we talk to the manager.
Quatre ended up doing several odd jobs around the circus. He didn't mind. He started as our financial person, doing the payroll, counting the take, slowly adding booking agent to his job description. He acted as our barker and ticket taker when needed. Quatre could charm anyone into anything, and he put that skill to good use, encouraging people to come and watch the show.
He got sunburned over and over, until finally his fair skin gave in and turned a light tan. He let his hair grow down to his shoulders, something that made Duo tease him whenever we stopped in on L2. Helping us set up the tents over and over gave him an extra layer of muscle, and in these past few years here with me he's grown even taller than I am. No one would look at him now and see 'Quatre R Winner, head of WEI'.
I like to think that he's happier here with me. I've protested over the years in some of my insecure moments that perhaps he should go back, that maybe he was wasting his time with me.
Quatre would give me his stubborn look and tell me that he was happiest right where he was, and that I needed to stop being such an idiot.
There were his insecure moments, when he told me that he worried that I would come to resent him, barging into my life like he did. That's when I told him not to be an idiot, that I loved having him with me everyday, not having to steal time like we used to.
I loved having him with me. Loved waking up to him everyday, loved when we took short vacations away together or went to visit the others.
The other pilots always stayed in contact with us. If I had been on my own, I doubt that I would've managed it, but Duo and Quatre had formed a strong friendship and they pulled the rest of us into it.
Today we had served as 'best men' at his wedding to Heero. Quatre standing for Duo, and I for Heero. Heero had joked that since I had helped put him back together once, I was the ideal choice to help him keep it together today.
Only a Heero that had been living with a Duo for several years would've been able to joke like that. I wonder sometimes what changes the others see when they look at Quatre and I.
Quatre wants to make another change in our life. I think today- well, maybe all the things leading up to today, put it into his mind.
He wants to marry me.
I told him that he didn't need to marry me. I had everything from him that I needed. A piece of paper wouldn't change that.
So now he's looking at me, head tilted down, eyes squinchy, mouth in a line and I know that he's going to argue this point with me until I give in.
And I know I will. I can't resist that look.