A/N: It's a new story by me, all set for the Holidays! It's called...well, you saw it already, right? Anyway, Merry is hosting a Christmas Show, and every day or so he's showing different Home Movies from other characters that are from Christmas! It's crazy fun, with a wonderful...er...spin!

A Very Meriadoc Christmas!

Episode 1: Aragorn's Home Videos

"Hey, folks! It's me, Merry, here with my Holiday Christmas Special!" Merry says, smiling at the camera.

"Hello. I'm Pippin, and I'm the wonderful co-host." Pippin says.

"How'd you get on here?"

"I don't know..."

"Anyway, on my TV show, 'A Very Meriadoc Christmas'"

"Which is sad, seeing as there's also a Peregrin involved..."

"What I was saying was that since it's the Holidays, a time to spend time with those that love you"

"Or, in Faramir's case, those that don't really love you but are related by blood..."

"PIPPIN! Can you STOP interrupting?"

"Sorry, Merry..."

"It's ok. Anyway, as it's the Holidays, a time to spend time with your loved ones and Family, we got this time slot. In it, which is about an hour a weekday, we're going to show you HOME FAMILY MOVIES from all your favorite people in Middle Earth!" Merry says.

"Hey, why couldn't we call this show 'A Very Merry Christmas'?" Pippin asks.

"Because that's a tad cliche."

"Oh."

"Anyway, we have all these wonderful movies from all your favorite people. Some had to be taken by force"

"BOROMIR!"

"Ahem. And some were willingly handed over"

"ELROND!"

"AHEM! And some we just...stole"

"FRODO AND SAM!"

"PIPPIN! But anyway, we all got these tapes. And, since it's pledge week"

"But we're on a cable station!"

"SHUT UP, PIPPIN! STOP CONTRADICTING ME!"

"Sorry, Merry."

"It's fine. Just don't do it again." Merry says.

"Sorry, sir..."

"Good. Now, I think today would be a lovely day to start."

"Well, obviously, otherwise why are you on TV?"

"Well, Pippin, maybe because I CAN BE! AND BECAUSE I'M THE MASTER OF BUCKLAND AND BRANDYHALL!"

"Ok, ok, don't have a freakin' oliphaunt..."

"Sorry. You made me loose it. Anyway, today, we're going to start off with Aragorn's home video. I don't know if this is from when he was a child, or when he got married, or maybe both. Either way, let's just watch."

"There's a good idea!"

Aragorn's Home Video Part 1!

"Here, Kids! Look what Santa left for you!" Elrond says, lugging out a huge bag of toys.

"Oh, goodie!" Elladan and Elrohir say.

"Wow!" Arwen whispers, amazed.

Aragorn just stands there.

"Well, now, I'll hand out your gifts, and we can all be happy!" Elrond says, chuckling merrilly.

"GIMME THE DAMN PRESENTS!" Elrohir screams.

"Ok, ok! Here, El, have this!" Elrond says, pulling out a large present.

"Oh, joy!"

"And for you, Dan, here!" Elrond says, handing Elladan a bike.

"OOOOOOOOOH! My present is better than yours, El!"

"NO IT'S NOT!"

"And Arwen..." Elrond says, handing Arwen Hadhafing. Which is only his sword that Arwen has in the movies. Didn't you wonder how she got it?

"THANKS, Daddy!"

"And Estel...well, here." Elrond says, handing Aragorn a sock full of lint.

"Oh. Just what I wanted." Aragorn says sarcastically, walking under the mistletoe.

"I LOVE YOU, ESTEL!" Arwen screams, running under and giving Aragorn a kiss.

"EEEEEW! I have COOTIES! I'm going to DIE!" Aragorn screams, running away.

"Oh, grow up!" Arwen huffs, walking away.

Aragorn's Home Movie, Part 2!

"Is...is this on? Can you see me?" Aragorn asks, looking into a Video Recorder.

"It's fine! Come on, this dress won't stay pristine forever!" Arwen yells from off-camera.

"Pristine. You have to use words like 'pristine'. Words that only you know what they mean." Aragorn mutters.

"Oh, do grow up!"

"'Oh, do grow up!' Honestly, you think I live with the Queen of England, talking like that." Aragorn says.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing, Arwen, dearest. It was nothing. A nonsensical rant Iuttered."

"There, you see, Hooked on Proper Grammer really has done something for you!" Arwen says.

"Sure..." Aragorn mutters.

"Honestly, we must start improving your talking. All you do is mutter and roll your eyes! Just like a teenager."

"Sorry." Aragorn says. "THERE!"

"Oh, joy, you've done it!" Arwen says. "I can't breathe in this dress!"

"Well, was I the one that told you to wear it?"

"It was in Vogue! It's very stylish!"

"If you can't breathe, how can you talk?"

"Good question. Now, can we just make our video Christmas card and be done with it?"

"All right. ELDARION! GET OVER HERE!" Aragorn screams.

"Do you have to be so loud? My Elvish ears can't take the strain..."

"Sorry."

Eldarion comes running up. He's about 13.

"Yeah?"

"Don't talk to your father with that ungrateful tone!"

"Sorry. Yes, father?"

"Er, we're making the video Christmas card now."

"Score!"

"Must you use that vile teenage slang?" Arwen mutters, rubbing her forehead.

"Can we just start?"

"Good point, Eldarion."

"Hello, everyone! Dad and Mom, in the Great Beyond, how are you? And Eledan and Elrohir, peace to ya! To Faramir and Eowyn, have a good one! To Eomer over in Rohan, you'd better not throw this out, because postage was murder! To Gimli and Legolas, because they just rock. And the Sam, who started his own co-op. HAVE A HAPPY HOLIDAY!" Aragorn, Arwen, and Eldarion say that last bit. Aragorn just says the rest.

"There. Done. Now run along and do...whatever it was you were doing before..."

"Oh, 'k, dad." Eldarion says, running off to play Halo 2.

"Have you ever though about taking away his XBOX?" Arwen asks.

"No. He'd just beg us for a PS2."

"Teens are so fickle."

"Fickle?"

Aragorn's Home Movie Part 3!

"It's Christmas morn, Aragorn! WAKE UP! I made some nice mulled cider and pancakes!" Arwen says, all sing-songy.

"Wha? I don't wanna go to school..." Aragorn mutters.

"Hey, do you want me to show this tape to Faramir?" Arwen asks.

"DEAR LORD! You're FILMING? I'm in BOXER BRIEFS!"

"Yep!"

"ARGH!"

Aragorn jumps out of bed and hastilly throws on a dressing robe. "I hate this damn thing." he mutters.

"Oh, don't be a downer! Come on, eat your food so we can open presents!" Arwen says.

"Huh?"

They walk into the kitchen, where Eldarion is scarfing down pancakes like there's no tomorrow.

"PANCAKES!" Aragorn yells, running over to stuff pancakes in his mouth.

"Mind you're manners! You're on TV!"

"Turn it off!"

A few moments later...

"Now, let's all open gifts..."

"Ok.."

They all sit around, with Arwen sipping her eggnog and opening expensive presents from Estee Lauder.

"Oooh! Look! Faramir gave me perfume!"

"I'm going to have a serious talk with him..."

"Oh, don't be a spoilsport! Look what Eowyn got you!"

"Cologne?" Aragorn asks, confused.

"What did you get, dear?"

"Er...a Game Cube...and some games...and Grand Theft Auto San Andreas..." Eldarion says.

"Ooh! Can I play?" Aragorn asks.

"Didn't you just get a computer game?"

"So? It's not fair!"

"Stop whining, Aragorn, you're on tape!"

"So what? Why can't I get cool games? I always get stuck with Backyard Football!"

"Oh, cry about it!" Arwen says. "You're so immature!"

Suddenly, the tree falls down!

"AIIIIIIII!" Arwen screams, shielding her eggnog from any loose needles.

"Whoa...what the heck?"

"Is that...a...?"

"RACCOON!"

The happy family runs out, Eldarion clutching his Grand Theft and screaming. Eventually, the raccoon runs out and they all go bck inside, although most of the presents have been ripped open.

"Awww, now what kind of Christmas will this be?" Arwen wails.

"It's ok, honey, we'll get through it."

"Are you sure?" Arwen sniffs.

"Yes. Of course. Now, let's clean up and then we can get drunk on eggnog and pass out."

"All right! Let's go. Eldarion! You can play as much Grand Theft Auto as you want."

"ALL RIGHT!" Eldarion says, running off to install the game.

"Ok, you got the eggnog?"

"Of course! With even more alcohol than healthy."

"Sweet!"

And so ends Aragorn's happy Christmas...

"Wow. That was...different..." Merry says.

"I quite liked the bit about the getting drunk on eggnog and passing out." Pippin says.

"You would, Pippin, you would. Next time, like in 2 days, we'll watch Denethor's Home Movie!"

A/N: Well, now you can see what a wacky holiday season this'll be. If you have a certain request, you can submit it and we'll get right to it. I've got the hobbits scanning the archives. Review to get your 'Have a Very Meriadoc Christmas!' button a t-shirt set today! And the horizontal line thing kind of went weird...