A/N: Well, the Holidays are over, but this Story isn't! Hahahaha! I have about 12 more chapters (or something like that) so we'll all just let this one run it's course or something. If it hangs around until Valentine's Day, we'll throw in a chapter on that. Anyway, enjoy!

A Very Meriadoc Christmas

Episode 3: Christmas at Barad-Dur

In the Studio..

"Hello! I hope you had a good Christmas!" Merry says.

"I know I did! I got a Frequent Drinker Card at the Green Dragon! Some lady out there really 'gets' me!" Pippin beams.

"How did you know that it was from a girl?"

"Are you suggesting that there are MEN out there that think I'm CUTE?" Pippin screams.

"Well, no, it's just..."

"SPIT IT OUT, MAN!"

"Well, did you know that LEGOLAS got that for you?"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Pippin screams, running off screen.

"Anyway, enjoy this little bit of Video from Barad-Dur and Minas Morgul."

Christmas at Barad-Dur

Orcs are walking around with Tinsel and other christmas-y things, listening to techno music like 'The Hustle' and hanging tinsel up.

Orc 1 (Jim) and Orc 2 (Kevin) are busy decorating the Tower and singing evil parodies of White Christmas and Winter Wonderland.

"Fsssshssshweeshhhshh!" Sauron says (Translation: "Hey, can you guys get me a giant Santa Hat?")

"Sure, boss!" Jim says.

They walk back down the tower and pause to look at their handywork, admiring those giant life size inflatable snowmen that are lurking around corners and the moving reindeer that are hung up in the wall.

"It's so pretty, isn't it, Jim?" Kevin asks.

"Sure, whatever."

"What's wrong, Jim?"

"It's the Christmas season, Kevin, and I'm upset. Santa never comes round here, and Sauron's kind of cheap with his presents. I never even get cards any more." Jim says sadly.

"Oh. Well, I just got you some really cool gifts, so don't worry!" Kevin says. "Here!"

"A Village People CD!" Jim says. "Thanks!"

"Yeah! Now let's get Sauron his Santa Hat. Then we can go to the local Vegan place and get some tofu burgers and soy shakes." Kevin says.

They walk off, Jim in a considerably better mood. 10 minutes later, they return with a giant-sized hat for Sauron.

"Fssswssshaweewwsssss!" Sauron hisses. (Translation: "Maybe we should give the prisoners a bit of cheer.")

"Good Idea, boss!" Kevin says. Jim and Kevin walk down to the Dungeons of Barad-dur.

"Hello, Prisoner!" Kevin says.

"Letssss ussss outsss, prescioussss, yesss!" Gollum says.

"Actually, we're here to give you a bit of Holiday cheer. We brought the Orc Choir."

"Deck the Tower with some Holly, Falalalala, la la la la! Tis the season to be Orcish! Falalalala la la la la!" The Orc Choir sing.

"That'sss beautiful...yesss." Gollum says.

"And we got you a gift!"

"It's a copy of the Ring!"

"We got the same thing for Sauron. Now everyone can have the Ring! Does not make you go invisible or give you supreme power." Kevin says.

"Oh Burning Eye, Oh Burining Eye, how pow'rful you really are!" The OC (Orc Choir) sings.

"That's a new spin on things." Jim says.

"Thanksss for the giftsss. Can I getsss some Egg nog?" Gollum asks.

"Sure!"

Kevin runs upstairs to get some Egg nog for Gollum.

"Joy to the World, Sauron is back! He killed some people yeah!" the OC Sings.

"Here's some Egg nog for ya!" Kevin says.

"WHEEE! Egg nog for Gollum!"

Gollum drinks about 50 glasses of Egg nog and passes out.

Christmas at Minas Morgul

The Nazgul are busy decorating the Fell Beasts with Tinsel and ornaments, and screeching Christmas Carols and wrapping up presents.

Suddenly, the Orc Choir pops up and starts to sing.

"Hark the Herald Nazgul Screams, Golry to the Evil King! No more peace and mercy Mild, Die you humans by us Nazguls!" the OC sings.

"SCREEEEEEEEEEEE!" The Nazguls yell, chasing away the OC.

"Sheesh, try to liven up the Holidays and this is what you get." Orc Singer 2 says.

The OC runs back to Barad-dur as the Ringwraiths shake their heads and open their presents.

Back at Barad-dur

"Hey, I think that if we interrogated Gollum, he'd tell us ANYTHING!"

"Good idea!"

And so, the people at Barad Dur find out how Frodo has the Ring.

"Hey, we're back! Wasn't that COOL? Next time, we shall have Frodo's Christmas! Yay!" Merry says.

"Whatever." Pippin says.

A/N: Hope you liked it. Next will be Frodo, followed by Legolas. Hope you enjoyed it! Drop me a line!