A/N: Hello, all I am back with Frodo's Christmas. This chapter is entitles (as you saw) 'All I want for Christmas is my Finger Back'. Three guesses where that came from. Anyway, enjoy!
This chapter is dedicated (not really, but it should be) to Ryan "Fro" because I so blatantly stole his nickname to give to Frodo. So, Fro, this is for you...Fro-do Baggins! (believe it or not, I call him that)
A Very Meriadoc Christmas!
Episode 4: Frodo's Christmas
At Merry's Place...
"Hey, everyone! We just got through making these VMC Christmas Shirts because the stupid plant was closed during the holidays" Merry starts.
"Yeah, I mean, who closes during the Holidays?" Pippin asks.
"Er... Anyway, these shirts are to our loyal reviewers! You know who you are! Here you go, happy belated holidays!" Merry says, handing out these black shirts that have a green wreath encircling that picture of Merry and Pippin from the Return of the King (the one you could get if you got the soundtrack). On the back, it says, "Have a Very Meriadoc Christmas! And a Peregrin New Year!"
"Happy Holidays!" Pippin screams, tossing confetti in the air. It gets into the drinks he and Merry have.
"And why are you so happy?"
"That's for me to know and you to find out!" Pippin says.
"Fine, be that way."
Frodo's Christmas Part 1
Frodo and his mom and Dad (Drogo and Prim, I know her real name but don't wanna type it...) are sitting around a fireplace and sipping tea (Looks like Denethor's Christmas). Drogo pulls out the gifts and lil' Frodo eagerly tears into them.
"Now now, Fro, be calm about it! You don't want to have another "incident", do you?" Drogo asks.
"What incident, Dad?" Frodo (Fro) asks.
"The INCIDENT!" Prim says.
"Fine, just gimme a present and I'll shut up." Frodo says.
Drogo hands Frodo a little box. Frodo opens it and pulls out a Light-Up Sting Sword with Combat Noise!
"Wow! Thanks daddy!" Frodo says.
"No problemo, Fro."
"Here, Prim," Drogo says, handing his wife a Burgandy Box.
"OMG! Helzburg Diamons!" Prim says, hugging Drogo.
"YAY! FINAL FANTASY!" Frodo screams, running up to his room.
Frodo's Christmas 2!
Frodo, now considerably older, is sitting around, reading Reader's Digest and sipping Tea. He's also listening to Christmas Carols sung by a Hobbit Choir when there comes a knock at his door.
"Mr. Frodo?" Sam calls from the outside, the sounds of screaming children heard all the way inside.
"Did he bring those stupid bratty children?" Frodo grumbles, walking to the door and opening it.
"Heya, Mr. Frodo sir!" Sam says, trying to stop the yougest of his 13 children from running onto the grass.
"OI! GET OFF MY GRASS!" Frodo screams, waving a quill in the air.
"Sorry." Sam says, giving the offending kid a good whack upside the head.
"Owww... Hey, dad, is this the crazy weird guy who's missing a finger?" Says Sam's 2nd child (And I'm too lazy to go look up their names, so pwah!)
"What did you just call me? Huh, punk?" Frodo asks.
"Now, now, here's your gift." Sam says, hastilly giving Frodo a package.
"I called you crazy and weird, Uncle Fro!" Says the same kid.
"WHAT?" Frodo screams, as Sam takes his kids away and Frodo slams the door. "GOOD RIDDANCE!"
Frodo walks back inside, swearing at the radio and giving it a good kick, then walks back to his seat.
"All I want for Christmas is my finger back, my finger back, my finger back..." Frodo sings sadly.
He opens the box and sees...earmuffs, a matching scarf, and gloves.
"How am I fuckin' supposed to wear gloves when I'm missing a fucking finger?" Frodo screams.
Frodo tosses the offending gloves into the fire, but somehow they don't burn up!
"Hmm...wonder if I touch it if it'll be hot..." Frodo picks up the glove and amazingly, it's not hot!
"AHHH! Last time I got something like this, it was evil! AHHHH!" Frodo screams, running around the house, holding the glove an arm's lenght away and screaming. He finally stops.
"Hmm. Maybe I should check with Gandalf on this one... " Frodo says, dialing Gandalf's number on the phone.
"Uh...hello?" Gandalf asks grogilly on the other end.
"Gandy? It's Fro. I have a glove here, and when I tossed it into the fire, it didn't burn. In fact, it's quite cool."
"Er...hang on, lemme clear up some business..." Gandalf says, putting the phone down. Indistinct talking is heard on the other end. One voice sounds like a woman's.
"Uh, Gandalf, are you messing around with one of the Maia again? Hmm?" Frodo asks.
"Don't be a fool, Fro. I'm not doing anything with one of the Maia." Gandalf says.
"Uhhuh, sure." Frodo says.
"Anyway, so, you've got this glove that won't burn and isn't hot even when you pull it from fire?"
"Yep."
"Sounds like you'll have to destroy it. It's one of Sauron's evil gloves."
"Can't I just give it to him as a gift?"
"Er...sure, Fro, I don't see why not."
So Frodo sends Sauron his evil Glove thing. And so Ends Frodo's Christmas.
"Wow. That was something else." Merry says, shovelling large amounts of popcorn into his mouth.
"Sauron has evil GLOVES?" Pippin asks, dropping the pint of Cherry Garcia ice cream he was inhaling and staring at the screen.
"Well, er...let's hope we don't get sucked into some crazy quest again." Merry says.
"Yeah. Enjoy the shirts, everyone!" Pippin says.
A/N: Yeah, it was weird, so what? Anyway, next we will have Legolas's Christmas, and then Elrond's Christmas! Enjoy!