Chapter Seven

When I awoke in the morning Bridget had already left three messages on my cell phone. I deleted them and got into meditating position. I hadn't meditated in over five months and I felt that I really needed to clear my mind. Every time I came close to clearing my head I kept hearing Bridget's voice in my head. And then I would imagine myself stick thin. It was such a frightening sight that I gave up on meditating.

When I opened my eyes I saw Lily sitting cross-legged on my bed. She was staring at me intently and it slightly frightened me.

"What were you mumbling?" She asked me.

"What are you talking about?"

"You were talking as you meditated. You said something about Bridget and something about getting thinner." My eyes widened as I realized what she meant.

"That was nothing, really. Don't worry about that."

"Travis, I realize that I don't know Bridget very well but does she have an eating disorder or something?" Oh no, I thought. Lily thinks Bridget is the one with the eating disorder.

"No, nothing is wrong with Bridget. I don't know why I said that. I talk about a lot of strange things when I meditate. My sister once said I started talking about tuna once." I chuckled to try and cover my lie. I felt horrible lying to Lily and from the look on her face she didn't believe me.

"Okay, I guess I trust you."

"Okay. Hey, how did you get in here anyways?" Lily looked at me and laughed. God how I loved her laugh.

"Your mom let me in. After apologizing fifteen times for the other night she let me up and when I walked in you were too deep in meditation to notice me." I nodded as I accepted her reason. After a few hours of talking Lily left and I got my thoughts together.

The next day at school I set off to find Bridget. She was in the library checking out books on eating disorders. When I asked her about it she said they were for me to read. I reluctantly agreed knowing in the back of my mind that I was not going to open these books.

As I carried the five heavy books to my locker I bumped into Ray spilling all five books across the floor. I hurriedly grabbed four of the five books but Ray grabbed the one entitled, I Might Have an Eating Disorder, What Do I Do? I quickly grabbed the book out of his hand and took off acting as calm as possible. I shoved the books in my locker and grabbed my Language Arts notebook and headed for class.

"Mr. Strong, please take your seat." Mrs. Allison didn't look happy and that was hard because she looked like a frequent member of the Botox Center. As I sat down she spoke once again. "Mr. Strong, would you care to read your expression poem for the class?" I reluctantly nodded and went to the front of the class.

"This is a poem I entitled Hope and Optimism:

I stand behind this window,

Looking outside from within.

But in my mind I know,

I'll soon be free to let my life begin.

I see happy people walking past me,

And I am overjoyed to know that someday I will join them.

People in love for all the world to see,

And I know my future love is one of these women.

I await the day I am set free of this shell,

To live a life I have never known.

I will soon be released from my personal hell,

And I will never again feel alone."

"Very good Mr. Strong, care to explain why you felt this pain? I'm sure the rest of the class would like to hear."

"Well, it's not really about pain. It's about always keeping you hopes up. It tells of a boy who has suffered from a life alone and even though he's gone through so much pain he still manages to keep his hopes high." Lily looked at me and smiled.

"Oh, well, does anyone have any comments?" Lily's hand shot up.

"Travis, what exactly compelled you to write this?" I thought about it and realized that I didn't have an answer.

"I'm not sure exactly. Maybe I was tapping into a part of my past that I've forgotten. I honestly don't know." Lily nodded and I sat down.

At lunch I was sitting with Lily when Bridget came over wanting to talk to me. We went over to a separate table and Bridget started asking if I had looked at the books. I didn't hear her though. I saw Ray walk up to Lily and glance up at me once and a while. Lily would look at me to and when he was done they both took off.