"So she just hopped a plane to Vegas from Connecticut?" I asked a second time. Sara didn't hear me the first time; she was too busy pacing the length of the auto shop.
"She just hopped a plane to Vegas. What do I do, Nick?" Sara asked. She looked heart-broken, confused, and angry all at the same time.
"Has she called her parents?" I asked. Sara shot me a dirty look. I knew what she was thinking. Sara was one of her parents.
"No, I told her she could stay with us," Sara blurted out. Five minutes ago, I had no idea that Sara had a daughter. Sara came into the auto shop and spit out a long explanation of how she had been a teenage mother. The explanation wasn't really long, but she said 'I'm sorry' so many times that it felt longer. I dropped the wrench that I was holding. Warrick high-tailed it out of the room. I knew Sara had secrets, but I wasn't expecting a bomb-shell to fall out of an otherwise peaceful sky.
"Oh, are you sure that's a good idea?" I asked.
"She's eighteen. There is no way that she's going to stay in a hotel in Vegas. How could you even suggest something like that?" Sara replied.
"I'm sorry. I just don't want you to get hurt when she leaves," I replied, but I think it might have already been too late to keep Sara from getting hurt. I hadn't realized that I suggested that Nadine stay in a hotel.
"Grissom said that I could leave early. I was only working on cold cases anyways," Sara replied, "You should meet her before I leave. I don't want her to get freaked out if some guy walks into the house in the wee hours of the morning."
I nodded. I didn't know what else to say. Sara's explanation sounded like only the bare bones version of the events of eighteen years ago. I followed her back into the lab. The girl sitting in the conference room looked exactly like what I thought a teenage Sara might look like. She had long brown hair and long, lean legs. Her features were sharp just like Sara's. There was no doubt in my mind that this girl was Sara's daughter. I just wondered who the father was. Sara neglected to mention that.
"Nadine, this Nick. He's my . . .," Sara looked at me confused. Our relationship had interesting dividing lines. We began as friends that accidentally slept together after five too many drinks, but recently, it felt like there was something more. We moved in together and began testing the waters of monogamy, trust, and fidelity. It was a challenge to say the least. It was hard to teach two fiercely independent thirty-somethings how to rely on each other.
"I'm Sara's boyfriend," I replied quickly. I think I might have replied a little too quickly. Nadine looked up at me and began to assess me. It was the same way that Sara assessed people. Nadine smiled nervously.
"We live together. Is it going to be okay if he's in the house too?" Sara asked cautiously.
"You ask like I'm being given a choice," Nadine replied with an arched eyebrow. It made me laugh, but Sara shot me a look that would kill. It was the same smart mouth that Sara had.
"I'll pick up breakfast in the morning," I said as I ran a hand down Sara's back. Sara nearly jumped a mile into the air when I touched her.
"It's okay. It's not like I've never heard about sex," Nadine quipped. Sara looked like she much just pass out. I laughed.
"Okay, let's pretend that I didn't hear that," Sara said with a sigh. She was an intense shade of red. I never pictured Sara as a mother, but in those few moments, I could see that maybe she would have been a natural at that role.
"I'll see you two in the morning. Nadine, call your parents," I replied before I even realized that I was giving the young lady instructions. I've always wanted to be a father. Despite my bachelor ways, I always wondered what it would be like to live the life that my parents did. I've always wondered what it would be like to have kids playing in the backyard while I sat on the porch watching them.
I watched Sara leave with Nadine. Although Sara looked horribly uncomfortable, she probably felt some sense of relief that her daughter was well taken care of. Nadine looked like a nice young girl. I wondered if Sara ever looked as happy as Nadine did. I still wondered who Nadine's father was. I wondered what happened to Sara at age fifteen.
The night dragged on for what seemed like forever. There were whispers in the room whenever I walked in. Warrick looked at me suspiciously to try to figure out what I was thinking. I wasn't even sure what I was thinking. I wondered if I should just let history be history.
I was glad to go home. I walked through the door with a bag of bagels in my hand and coffee for Sara. Sara was sitting on the couch. It hadn't looked like she fell asleep. She looked emotionally drained.
"Hey," I said as I sat down next to her.
"I was sixteen years old. I had just started school at Harvard. I was lonely, so when this guy from my introductory physics class asked me out for dinner, I said yes. I said yes even though he was in his sophomore year . . . that made him what nineteen or twenty. I should have known he was trouble when he handed me a beer the minute he picked me up from my dorm," Sara said slowly.
"I could get As in school, but I had no understanding of relationships. I thought they would be just as easy as calculus," Sara said. I almost laughed at her comment because she was the only person I knew that thought calculus was easy.
"It's okay," I whispered as I pulled her closer to me, "It's the past."
"Well, the past is sleeping in the guest bedroom. Nick, I didn't set out to get pregnant. I said no. I screamed no, but no one in his frat house bothered to figure out why I was screaming," Sara said emotionlessly as the tears poured down her cheeks. It explained a lot about Sara. It explained why Sara refused to go my college reunion with me. I had told her that she would get to meet my frat brothers. I wondered why Sara looked disgusted with the proposition. It made so much more sense now.
"It's okay. You're safe now. Nadine grew up in a good home. She looks like a happy kid," I replied.
"I told her what her father did to me. What do I say to her to make sure that she doesn't try to find him? I don't want him to hurt her . . . he's dangerous," Sara rambled as she collapsed into my arms.
"You told her the truth. That's the best you can do. She's obviously going to do what she wants to," I replied.
"I don't want her to get hurt by him," Sara cried.
We sat silently in the living room. I didn't know what to say to make her feel better. Sara didn't know what to tell Nadine to protect her. I was proud of how brave Sara was. I hadn't expected her to be so stoic. I hadn't expected Sara to revel herself to me in an in way that is so much more intimate than most of what she tells me.
"Good morning," Nadine said as she padded into the living room. Sara looked up and smiled. I couldn't imagine the relief of knowing that her daughter was safe.
"Good morning. Go call your parents," Sara insisted as she thrust her cell phone at Nadine. Nadine did as told. Her conversation with her parents was terse. Nadine swore up and down that it was all her idea to go out to Vegas to meet Sara. She kept telling her parents that she was safe . . . that Sara and I were making sure that she didn't get into any trouble. Sara even told Nadine to be a little more respectful when she told her mother to shut up. Sara talked to her mother. Sara reassured the woman that Nadine would be on a plane home tomorrow morning. Sara promised that Nadine would be kept out of trouble. Sara apologized for the whole mess. Nadine apologized to her mother and promised to be good. She said that she was sorry for scaring them.
"I'm sorry my mom freaked out on you," Nadine said to Sara as she hung up the cell phone.
"You're lucky I'm not in charge of you. You'd be locked in your room until you are twenty-one," Sara replied.
"That's nothing. Mom said that I'm grounded until I'm eighty," Nadine replied, "I'm really sorry. When I got the adoption record, it didn't say anything about my biological father."
"Just promise me that you will never get involved with him," Sara replied sternly.
"I promise. I'm hungry," Nadine said.
"I brought home bagels," I said as I retreated into the kitchen. I was glad to get out of the tense environment. I could hear Sara and Nadine talking. I prayed that come tomorrow Sara would be okay . . . that Nadine would be okay. I wondered if either of them would be able to say good-bye.