A/N: This chapter is kind of like weird, right. I did that on purpose for an effect, so don't judge it too harshly. My editor jumped the gun a bit and started to like give me the what for, but I was like "now listen you, you just got to wait, see?" only like 3 or 4 chapters to go now guys. thanks for all the reviews too, eh. They give my the wamn'n'fuzzies...maybe. lol

Disc: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! or anything related.

Chapter 7

Of the bikers that survived the beatings they had received, Jounouchi asked that he could have a few words with them. Hirutani shrugged and went back into his hide out, after ordering a few newer members to go deal with the bodies of those that didn't survive.

"Jounouchi, where do you usually put dead bodies?" One asked, unsure of what to do, but not wanting to ask Hirutani.

"I dunno, we never really kill our enemies. They probably should have worn helmets." Jounouchi then turned to his living enemies. "Remember that for next time. You guys have no sympathy from me, if you're going to be reckless like that." He crouched down in front of the one that looked to be the highest rank of the bunch, and smirked. He pulled his switchblade out and held it to the guy's throat. "My name is Jounouchi."

"Jounouchi?" He choked, like he was shocked. "You're not supposed to be in this gang anymore! Rumor has it that-"

"Fuck rumor, I'm back, so you just make sure everyone knows that OK?" he made a thin, but long, cut on the bikers face, and then stood up. "Get the fuck out of here, and take your dead with ya." He kicked the biker in the gut and nodded at his comrades, pleasantly. As soon as he entered the hide out, he was offered a drink to celebrate. Before he knew it, he was shooting heroin with Hirutani and the guy that took down the first cyclist.

It didn't take long for word to get to the other gangs, and they received more challenges everyday. All the other gangs that were generally feared by others wanted to try their luck at taking down Hirutani's gang, now that it was back to elite status. Jounouchi spent more and more time with the gang, not ever wanting to miss a fight. He couldn't remember the last time he went home, and Yugi, Honda and Anzu seemed like made up people in his head. He sometimes questioned if they ever existed, but didn't want to seek them out. He was pretty much hammered or high all the time now. He didn't have any concept of time anymore, and just seemed to be going with the flow, although he didn't know what the flow was.

One night he was lying in his room, coming off a trip. He had ripped down all the posters, pictures and sexy girls off his wall in a fit of rage and confusion only minutes ago, and was now staring at the bare walls, thinking. He didn't know what was happening to him. His head hurt, and he wanted to vomit. He felt absolutely horrible, and all he wanted in the world was another hit of heroin- or anything for that matter. He needed to make this shitty feeling go away. He rolled off his bed, and rummaged through his bottom drawer, finding some liquor he had stolen from his father. He didn't measure any shots and didn't mix it; he just took several large gulps of the fluid. He leaned against his bed and took a few more large sips. As he drank he began to question his life. He began to feel angry at everything. Everything was wrong and everything was to blame for his problems in life. He stood up, wobbly and drunk, and pulled his knife out of his jacket pocket. He suddenly felt compelled to hurt himself. He stumbled backwards and hit his desk. He leaned against it while he sliced his hand with the knife, and then threw the knife to the ground.

The blood poured from his hand and he watched it. Why did he do that? He shook his head and wiped his hand on the wall. He then began to write with the blood on the wall, and when his hand stopped bleeding, he started to use a permanent marker he had found on his desk. He then engraved the same sentence with his knife when the marker was dried up. He was obsessed with making sure this sentence was all over his room. He tripped over a shirt that was on his floor and fell to the ground. He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling fan as it spun around and around.

He lied there, feeling like he was about to die from the withdrawal from some of the more addictive drugs he took. He spasmed and was sweating so much. He needed cocaine or heroin, one of the two- preferably heroin. He crawled to his drawer and rummaged through it until he found a needle. He filled the needle, and then took a belt around his upper arm and pumped his arm. He injected the needle and sighed in ecstasy. He fell back and lay on his floor for hours completely lost in his own temporary better world. It wasn't Heaven at this point anymore, not like it use to be. It was just better then feeling weak, sick and useless. He almost felt normal again.

His father peeked in, having only gotten home a few minutes ago, and looked at his son's room. It was a horrible mess of clothes, empty alcohol bottles, needles, dirty spoons, the garbage can had vomit in it… and his boy was lying in the middle of this hell pale and sickly looking. He was slightly disturbed about the bloody writing on the walls that read "I just don't know anymore". He said nothing and shut the door. That was the last time Jounouchi's father would see him, since Jounouchi left the next morning.

Things were beginning to get out of control, and Jounouchi couldn't really tell. He had done things, and had no memory of doing them. For example, he had apparently slit the throat of an opposing gang's leader. He also nearly drowned himself in the sink during an acid trip, and stabbed one of his own comrades in the leg because he looked at him the wrong way. Jounouchi was beginning to feel more miserable about joining this gang then ever. Sure his name was well known, he even couldn't go on the streets without someone trying to kill him now. The police almost arrested him twice, and he believed he remembered them saying something along the lines of "we thought we'd seen the last of you" which was almost flattering since they remembered his name from three years ago. He just couldn't deal with the addictions anymore though. If he came off a high, he'd become desperate, willing to do anything to get back to that original high. He was losing his mind. This whole ordeal wasn't about being respected and acknowledged for his skills, it wasn't even about the thrill of fighting anymore. The drugs numbed that thrill away. Now it was only about the damn drugs and alcohol.

Jounouchi sat on a cliff, staring down as the waves crashed into the rocks below. He just felt so lost. This had not been what he wanted at all. He just wanted respect. Now he realized that making a name for your self in the underground society really means dick all. It just means you're a no good punk, and you're the best of the no good punks. What a winner he was. Hirutani's "right hand" lackey. He was just being lead on a very short leash by Hirutani. A seemingly shorter leash then when he had originally joined in middle school. Hirutani was stricter with him and was babying him just like his friends. He saw Jounouchi as a valuable asset. He wouldn't even allow Jounouchi to be alone unless he was somewhat sober for fear someone may try and kill him. Jounouchi felt so pathetic. Hirutani had control over him from day one. He pretty much owned Jounouchi, and the blond couldn't remember how that happened.

There was no dignity or respect in that.

"I know what you're going through Jounouchi." he heard a female from behind him. He turned, shocked.

"Mai!"

"I've been trying to make a name for myself too. I just want to be recognized as a great duelist, and be respected, but as long as there are people like Yugi around, it'll never happen." Mai stood beside him.

"Oh Mai." Jounouchi stood up. "What do I do? I'm so fucked up, and my life is fucked up!"

"You know exactly what you have to do." She looked at him, her violet eyes penetrating into his brown eyes. His mind screamed at him to just hold her and tell her everything. He ignored it.

"I know, but I'm a bit afraid to do it." He blushed. Telling Mai he was afraid was difficult to do since he wanted her to see him as some sort of fearless hero who would do anything for her, but he couldn't lie to her either.

"You won't be alone." She took his hand and smiled. He smiled back, and began to inch a little bit closer to her face. They lightly kissed each other on the lips, nothing too passionate, but it was enough. He knew right there and then that he wanted her more then anyone in the world. He was frightened and confused, and she seemed to relate. He was convinced they were meant to be together, but, he knew they never would be. But still, it was now or never to tell her the truth.

"Mai…I…I love you, a lot. You mean the world to me." She simply smiled, and then stared ahead. He looked ahead as well, and they watched the sun set as they stood hand in hand. The wind blew their blond hair, and the waves crashing into the cliff made a soothing white noise. They both seemed to know that as soon as the sun set they'd have to take action, although no words had been spoken to determine this. Eventually the sun disappeared and together they took a step over the cliff and fell.