Chapter 2: The Bicycle Battle

Rating: PG still. Some of this stuff I have done, and I wouldn't recommend trying all of it.

Summary/Notes: Thank you my wonderful reviewers. 6 in two days is a lot for me because my last one didn't get 6 all week. Well, what they find in the back room causes Remus to put off his revenge plots for a while, but he will get them back. I hope you guys like this chapter as much as the last one, it was kind of rushed out. I will try to write messages to people who review because I enjoy hearing what people have to say, good or bad.

Jay Kamiya - I bet you would be a very interesting person to meet then. I was thinking of what I did when I wrote it. Of course it wasn't all the same as I wasn't a wizard, but the basic concept matches.

Jayjay6000 - Well, I updated as fast as I could!

Sirius the homicidal maniac – Yes, it would be a little gross, but you will find out why he was doing it later on. And if you think that is gross, you should hear the ending. I haven't typed it but I have a mental image.

Mwpp-lover – Thanks, and it only just started too…

Evilpip – I'm glad you liked that line, thanks! I hope you didn't hurt yourself too badly when falling off of the chair, lol.

Grlangel – Thanks! It is fun to make people laugh.

Padfootprankster13 – I was originally gonna have moony and padfoot wandering up the isles, then I thought how funny it would be to have Moony caught doing something

Badangel00013 – Thanks, glad you like. With all that goes on in this world today, a little humor is a must.

Muggle77 – Well, I have indeed decided to continue it, and I am glad you think it is funny.

CallieAnne – Glad you thought it was priceless. I never got so many good reviews for anything before!

HArRy-PoTtEr-FaNiTiC – Thanks, I was trying to get people to laugh, and it really helps to pull things out of your own experiences.

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Padfoot and I were running up and down what seemed to be the never-ending isles of the store. Damn it, where is the invisibility cloak when you need it, huh? Oh well. Now we were in the crafts isle, trying to dodge the ranting lunatic (the other one, after all Sirius is with me too) between the displays of fabric patterns, but it didn't seem to be working. We dodged him just long enough to find a good place to hide.

"Faculty only… keep out? Damn, it's locked," said Sirius. What a moron, that's why its faculty only! "Well Sirius, you don't suppose that faculty only would lock a door for a reason now do you?" Sheesh… But it would be a pretty good place to dodge Remy for the time being. I pulled out my wand and chanted "alohamora". The lock popped open, and we went inside.

"Oh my god!" screamed both Sirius and I at the same time. There was a very good reason for that too. This place was huge; it was like another store in itself! There were shelves from floor to ceiling filled with… toys! All sorts of toys. Our enthrallment, however, was short lived. Sirius saw Remus coming towards the door and so competently pointed it out.

We positioned ourselves in a perfect way so that we could se him, bur he couldn't see us. He seemed to be walking around; he was looking for us. What an idiot. He was practically ripping apart the fabric section looking for us. We saw him looking at the door in suspicion, so I pressed myself up against the door to see if he was saying anything.

"A door? Faculty, keep out. Yeah, great place to hide. But nobody with any sense at all would hide in a place so blatantly obvious… they must be in there." That so figures for his thinking. Sirius gave me a mock pouty look and said along with that look "I resent that!"  I laughed with him and then pressed my ear up to the door again to see if he discovered the lock.

"Damn it, its locked!" Well, that definitely answers my question. Sounds like he is gonna have a hell of a time with this one. "Never fear, for I have my handy dandy wand!" (a/n: what the hell is this Blues Clues) Er… "But what the hell was that spell? Sure enough, the one time I don't know a spell, I need it."

I thought that we were in the clear for a minute there, but I turned out to be wrong for the first time in my life. I can hear padfoot snorting at that comment but anyways… Several minutes later "Alohamora" came out of Remus's mouth. We weren't expecting it, so we had no time to hide, and he spotted us immediately.

"You two are in so much trou… oh my god!" started Moony. He had obviously took a good look around the room and stopped in mid sentence. He was now gazing around the room. A perfect opportunity to back out of the situation. We were trying to get away from him, so we slowly backed up and we were gonna make an exit out the back door, but then we both bumped into something. It felt cold and clammy. Almost feels like… Snape and Malfoy.

"Well, well, well… If it isn't dumb and dumber in the flesh," said Snape, who obviously hasn't changed over the summer. Malfoy added, "Look dumbest is over there with them too!" Sirius had to be the first one to make a comeback and said "That's odd, I could have sworn that was you guys.. but then again you would be too dumb to know." I have to admit it wasn't his best one yet, but it was, however, enough to get the to shut up.

"What the hell are you three doing at a muggle store anyways" spat Malfoy in extreme hatred. That was a rather stupid question to ask considering the fact that he was in the store as well. And lets see, was I gonna call him on it? Oh yeah! Sirius coughed something that sounded extremely similar to dumbass before I did anything. Why does he always have to be the one to do it first anyways?

"I should be asking you two that really. After all, you two are purebloods, so what would you want at Wal-Mart?" They froze in horror for a moment at the fact that if this got out at school, while Moony Padfoot and I reveled and basked in the fact that this is an ultimate torture tool and smiled rather malevolently whilst waiting for their responses.

"I will have you know that we have damn good excuses to be at Wal-Mart today!" said Malfoy in the most dignified tone he could. "Which is…?" inquired the three of us at the same time. Although we would be extremely interested in hearing what this is, I have a feeling that I know exactly what is coming.

"Our mums needed some, er, things, if you must know," replied Snape as he started to blush, which probably looked darker than it really is because of his pale white skin. Hey, I was right about it. Makes up for the first ever mistake I made earlier. I am sure that both Moony and Padfoot would be laughing now. We just nodded our heads to this, because it is actually a fair excuse considering it is why I am here, and it is probably why Remy is here today as well.

"Well, as long as we are all here today, we might as well make this interesting," said Malfoy; with an evil smirk on his face. The rest of us all looked puzzled, then Remus spoke up. "I never thought these three worlds would come out of my mouth in this order, but, Malfoy is right. We have the whole store at our disposal, lets use it."

"Well, what can we do?" I asked, and everyone except Sirius shrugged. This means that he has one of those "brilliant" ideas of his. He dragged us all around the back; he seemed to be looking for something. Then suddenly, he stopped. I am guessing he found what he was looking for. He pointed at what he thought we should do and had the biggest wicked smile on his face I have ever seen in my 16 years of life.

"Um, you can't be serious…" said Malfoy, who was looking a bit uncertain. Oh boy here it comes… "But I am always Sirius!"  Boy that was visible a mile away. We all groaned at his pathetic joke, then got back to telling him. "Honestly Sirius… you don't expect us to ride those…" They were tiny tricycles made for toddlers!

"I won't go on those little things, not until hell freezes over!" exclaimed Remus with a defiant look on his face. Sirius got smart yet again with a "Well, last time I check your bedroom was rather cold. Ah, you can be a referee, don't worry. Even numbers work well anyways in races because they make it fairer. Who's in?"

"I don't think it is such a good idea…" said the Slytherin duo in unison. They are obviously chicken, so I decided to use that to our advantage in this situation. "It is just like you cowardly Slytherins, to chicken out of something like this. If you are too scared to… we understand." I had obviously stuck gold, but Sirius finished it off with "Plus we happen to have a wonderful story about two Slytherin purebloods in Wal-Mart that the others would be just DYING to hear…"

"Ok, Ok!" said Malfoy. "I really do not believe that that's necessary. Let's just go and get this over with. Lupin, you can decide on the path we take. We need a few minutes to strategize for the race." That sounded like a good idea. We need a strategy. Padfoot may have been thinking, but it seemed that dear ol' Moony had a plan for us as well.

"Look, it winds up and down all the isles in here. At the end, there is a mattress, which serves as the finishing line. Now, as referee I will be standing at the end. Instead of heading towards the mattress, I want you both to turn right sharply. This will confuse them and take there attention away from the fact that I will levitate the mattress away from there, causing them to crash into a brick wall. Got it?" We both nodded in agreement as it was a pretty good plan.

We all gathered at the area we designated to be our starting line with some of the tricycles in stock. Remy also doubled as an announcer. "Now, I want a good clean race to the end. The first one there wins. Drivers, start your.. ah never mind. On your mark, get set, go!" he yelled as we began to pedal the bikes intended for kids 13 years younger than us. He took the shortcut to the finish line while we winded up and down the back isles.

Padfoot and I were both pedaling as hard as we could, so it didn't look like we had some sort of harebrained scheme cooked up. I being the speedy seeker, was pulling ahead. Malfoy, being their seeker wasn't far behind with Sirius. Snape was trailing by less than a foot. We all swayed back and forth between leads. All of a sudden, CRASH! "Oh, and it looks like Snape has hit a wall rounding the corner. He is out of the competition, leaving just three contestants left in the bicycle battle!" yelled Remus.

What they didn't notice was that Padfoot had jinxed his tricycle beforehand so that it would crash. Maybe he isn't such a dyke after all… That won't be the only crash, as we are nearing the finish line. It was time. Padfoot and I turned sharply right, causing a distraction to Malfoy.

"Wingardium Leviosa!"  said Moony, and the mattress shot up into the air. When Malfoy realized what we had done, it was too late. He crashed smack into the brick wall. We all cracked up as he started wailing like a three year old. It was very funny, but that wasn't the end of it for us.

There is this thing that the houses do to the other houses whenever we defeat them, and this is definitely defeat to Slytherin. We tied them up to chairs. We got some red and gold spray paint and began to dye their hair brilliant shades of red and gold, followed by the changing of the robes to our colors. We normally untie them, but today we just left them as we headed out into the main part of the store.

So what did you think? R/R. If you have any ideas for something to happen, I would love to hear them. As a note this is based off of the time my friends and me took carts and raced them up the isles.