Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize.

Author's Note: Thanks to Mandi, as always.

Chapter 4

Finley looked up from the letter when his apartment door opened. He smiled at Alexander but his face dropped a bit when Alexander's smile was short and distracted.

"What's wrong?" Finley asked.

"Nothing," Alexander told him, crossing the small room to kiss him and take a seat next to him on the couch. Finley's head found his shoulder and Alexander smiled, truly, and put an arm around him. "What's all this?"

"My uncle's version of care package," Finley replied, he held up a stack of papers before setting them aside. "Twelve pages this time, he's outdone himself."

Alexander laughed, "He certainly has a lot to say."

"He's a politician," Finley retorted. "A senator, he can be as long winded as he likes, I suppose."

Alexander plucked a soft cover book out of the full box and scanned the back. "He sends you books."

"And cigarettes by the carton, though those are added passed the border," Finley smiled fondly. "He says they're all second hand, the books, that is, that he buys them, reads them and then sends them to me but I don't always believe him."

Alexander chuckled, "I'm not sure what he would do with a history textbook that looks quite new and is about the wrong country."

"He spoils me a bit," Finley said quietly, feeling strangely self-conscious.

His uncle was very careful about his pride. Other than the care packages, as he called them, he did help Finley out financially but he did so very subtly. He had helped Finley invest what little money he had inherited from his father and, when he did, bumped the total up a little with a deposit of his own.

Irving also made sure his bank account never sagged too much. Finley was very careful with his money but there was never a lot of it, especially since he had an apartment that wasn't bad. Irving did what he could for his nephew, he always had.

It meant Finley never got a check in the mail, just that his uncle watched his bank account nearly as closely as he did and augmented it when Finley started running low. Irving had offered to do more before, and had paid for therapists that the army wouldn't cover, but...there was only so much charity Finley was willing to take and sitting, poking through the books with Alexander, he was very glad that a check had not accompanied the care package.

"Three history textbooks," Alexander murmured. Finley nodded, picking one of them up. How to suggest it without offense... "Fin, you know, my parents fund quite a few scholarships. I'm sure you would qualify for at least one."

Finley smiled thinly. "My uncle paid for me to take a course last year. I failed."

"What? Why?" Alexander asked, surprised.

"I missed too many classes. I couldn't..." Finley ran a hand through his hair and shrugged. "I couldn't do it. I couldn't get to the lectures and I couldn't get through them. I ended up missing the exam because of a headache and got so stressed about the rewrite I made myself sick then flunked it."

Finley sighed. "I lose jobs because I have to call in sick too much and I can't...dealing with people is hard sometimes. Most of the time people ask things that bother me and they're only trying to be friendly I just can't..."

Alexander slipped an arm around his waist. "I just don't know how to deal with them when people start asking me things, normal things that I just don't have normal answers for. It hurts...I can't believe sometimes how much I've told you. I don't know why I have. That first night...normally if someone asked about my...my scars I would've kicked them out but you were different for some reason."

"I was jealous when I saw you and Ben shopping that morning," Alexander confessed.

"What?" Finley asked.

"I didn't know he was your brother and I was jealous," Alexander repeated, coaxing a smile out of his lover. "When I found out he was...Well, you know I went back to the club and waited for you to show up again."

"Why?" Finley questioned. "Why did you?"

Alexander shrugged. "I don't know. I just knew I wanted to see you again. I didn't want just a one night stand with you. I would have given you my number in the store if I hadn't thought it would scare you off. Plus, Ben can be rather intimidating."

"I'd tell him you said that but it'd only inflate his ego more!" Finley laughed. "It's weird though, don't you think?"

"I guess, I haven't really thought about it," Alexander told him, he tilted his head down and brushed his lips against Finley's. "It hasn't seemed important to me."

"I guess," Finley smiled as Alexander's hands moved up his back and his lips found his again. "There are better things to think about."

Finley heard the pounding at his door but made no move to answer it. Anyone who needed to get in had a key and he wasn't about to attempt moving. His name was called a few times but the noise only served to make him curl tighter into a ball, pressing his knuckles hard against his temples.

Eventually the knocking stopped. Finley didn't move. He didn't think. He just lay there

breathing.

"Finley," a quiet voice said right next to him as a hand fell onto his shoulder.

Finley jerked away in surprise and fear, giving a soft cry. Pain shot through his skull and his vision swam then blackened.

He came to with a soft groan only a moment later. Someone was slapping his face gently and calling his name.

"Stop...stop..." he croaked.

He opened his eyes just a moment. The light was on. He managed to focus on...Evan? before screwing his eyes shut tightly.

A strong arm supported him across his back and hauled him into a seated position. Finley moaned at the unwanted movement and tried, unsuccessfully, to roll away so he could curl up again.

"Come on," Evan was saying. "I'll get you to the hospital."

"No, no," Finley muttered. "No need."

"You just passed out!" Evan exclaimed.

"Headache," Finley murmured by way of explanation. "Nothing they can do. I have medication. I just...just need to lie down..."

Evan made a grunting sort of noise. "Have you taken that medication?"

"Yeah, this morning," Finley replied quietly.

"It's after five," Evan told him quietly.

"Oh." Finley opened one eye and squinted at Evan, really registering his presence. "Why...why are you here?"

"Found Alex's pager. It must've fallen off his belt," Evan explained. He stood and drew the curtains. It had been raining and gloomy when Finley first lay down but the sun had finally shown itself. He turned off the lamp, letting shadows dominate the room and easing the strain for Finley.

"H-How'd you get in?" Finley wondered aloud.

"Picked the lock," Evan told him. "Annie taught me."

"Not comforting," Finley murmured.

Evan cracked a small smile that faded as Finley groaned again. Alexander had mentioned

something about headaches in passing when he called to say he and Finley were not coming out to the stables one day. "How often can you have that medication?"

"Six hours," Finley replied.

"When did you have it last?" Evan questioned gently.

"Nine...I think..." Finley told him. "B-blue bottle of pills."

Evan disappeared for a few moments. Finley shivered. He hated the headaches. They came every other week or so and floored him completely.

The pain was debilitating. It was one of the reasons Finley couldn't hold a job long. If it was bad enough a headache could lay him up for days. Worst of all, they didn't know if the headaches were psychological or a result of the physical trauma he had sustained. Either could have done it and the headaches had never gone away.

"These?"

Finley opened his eyes enough to see it was. "Yeah."

He swallowed one without water and let his head sink back down onto the pillow. He closed his eyes against the blurring room, hearing vague mumbling words that were not, as far as he could tell, directed at him and letting himself drift as the pain eased.

The pain killers were strong. They had to be and they made his body feel heavy, weighted down so movement was difficult even when he wanted to move.

He heard two voices and he tried to concentrate but couldn't manage it. His thoughts were too hazy. Cool, slim hands touched his forehead briefly and a cold cloth was laid over his eyes.

There was more talking. He couldn't make out the words. They faded and, finally, he slept.

"How often does this happen?" Annie asked, worriedly, as Alexander bent over his sleeping lover. Finley stirred ever so slightly at his touch.

"Every other week or so," Alexander told her, quietly. He removed the cloth, it needed to be replaced again, and straightened. "Thanks for staying with him."

"Evan was worried. He would've stayed if he could have," Annie shrugged. "We, Eve, Evan and I, like him. Isabel thinks he's a gold digger."

Alexander snorted, "So she told me at length."

"Isabel can be a bit...intense with her theories," Annie allowed. "She means well and she'll grow up someday. You aren't always sensible either, you know."

"Don't remind me," Alexander sighed. "Hal called, they want me to go back."

"Are you going to go?" Annie asked.

"No. I came home because I'd burned out. I can't do it again, not yet. It's selfish but..."

Alexander shrugged. "It's completely different practising here. You're not watching everyone die by inches here."

"I think you deserve to be a little selfish, if that's what you're calling it. How many years have you been doing this? Give yourself a chance to find a little happiness," Annie told him. "You're off to a good start."

"I love him," Alexander said quietly.

"I know, dummy," Annie smiled. "Don't fuck it up. I like him a lot and I'll have to beat you up if you do."

Alexander chuckled. "Eve is lucky to have you, cuz."

"Damn right," Annie replied, she kissed him on the cheek and grabbed her purse. "You take good care of him. I'm going home to call Eve and tell her why I missed her call last night."

Alexander smiled briefly at her before going to sit beside Finley who was beginning to wake. He pushed Finley's dark hair back from his face.

Disoriented grey eyes opened and blinked at him in confusion. "...alex?..."

"Hey you," Alexander greeted very softly. He heard the door closing behind Annie as she let herself out of the apartment. "Feeling any better?"

Finley blinked again, and attempted to sit up. Alexander stopped him. "What time is it?"

"About noon," Alexander told him.

Finley frowned. "Evan? I think it was Evan, said five..."

"That was yesterday, Fin," Alexander informed him gently.

"Oh," Finley murmured. "I lost a day."

"You lost a day," Alexander echoed. "Evan couldn't stay long, he had a meeting to attend so he called Annie. She stayed with you last night but you were pretty out of it."

"Oh," Finley blinked. His eyes focussed a bit more. "I think I paged you."

"You did, my pager fell off when I was at my parents picking something up," Alexander

explained. "It got caught when I bumped into a door. Evan found it and came to check on you."

"He picked the lock," Finley said, looking surprised. "Annie taught him?"

Alexander chuckled. "My cousin is a woman of many talents."

"Mm," Finley struggled to sit up again. Alexander sighed and helped him to lean against the wall. Finley pushed the heel of his palm to his forehead. The pain wasn't bad anymore, just a dull ache.

"Sorry I wasn't here," Alexander said quietly.

"S'okay," Finley replied. "Dealt with them alone before."

Alexander snorted but didn't comment otherwise on that. Finley let his hand drop from

his head. "Where were you anyway?"

"A couple friends of mine, Hal and Marie, were passing through," Alexander told him. "It was late by the time I got home and I figured you would already be sleeping."

"I don't mind," Finley said, his tone purposely light, "if you join me while I am."

Alexander grinned widely, "I'll remember that."