Oh goodness! I have finally updated this peice. It seems like forever. But yes, I think it is complete. If I take it any further it just might get a mite too silly. Yet i hop you enjoy this little bout of insanity.
Himitsu
The crisp breeze blew through the open windows of Vice Commander Hijikata Toshizo's quarters. It whispered through the long strands of his dark hair, making the tendrils curl and sway. A puff of smoke rose from the bulb of his pipe, rising to meet the stars that littered the night sky. He took a long draw, and sighed. What a day it had been. Once again, the little brat Tetsunosuke had dropped his tea, only this time it was all over the Vice Commander, and his paperwork. Clumsy fool…It was his only thought.
Footsteps could be heard on the landing outside the room. They came ever closer, and Toshi only listened. There were two possibilities of which the owner of those steps could have been. Yamazaki, or Okita. He was betting it was the latter.
And as always (so he liked to think), he was right. Souji leaned against the doorframe, his violet eyes scanning every inch of Toshizo as he sat there smoking his pipe. Such the usual picture, it was. If the man didn't know better, he'd have said the Vice Commander never moved. And he probably wouldn't if he didn't have to.
"Beautiful night, isn't it, Hijikata-san?" Souji's sweet tenor floated to Toshizo's ears, and he could have sworn he saw the other man twitch slightly.
But the only reply that was received was a soft sort of grunt. It seemed as if Toshizo was not in a talkative mood. Though, this wasn't unusual. Toshizo gazed down at the surface of the small table in front of him and tapped his pipe against the corner.
"Hijikata-san," Souji broke the quiet. "I have something to show you." He traced the collar of his kimono, tugging at it a bit. He pulled it down slightly, as if to give a tease.
Toshizo didn't look up. "You know tattoos are not permitted in the Shinsengumi, Okita."
Souji sounded almost distressed. "Oh, Hijikata-san, it's not a tattoo…" He fumbled with the collar of his kimono more, pulling the split wider…
Toshizo cut a glance towards the other man. What was he trying to pull? It was only when Souji pried the top part of his kimono off did it hit him. And hit him like a bag of bricks, it did. Souji had… BREASTS! Not just any kind, but large ones, that bounced with every move Souji made.
Toshizo scrambled to his feet, pipe falling to the floor. "OH MY KAMI-SAMA!"
Souji stepped towards him, pressing him closer to the wall. "What's wrong, Toshi-kun? Surprised?" His voice was suddenly feminine, and seductive. Though Toshizo wasn't sure if Souji was a man anymore. "I show you my soul… My secret… And you deny me?"
Toshizo shook his head, his eyes wide and panicked. "G-get away from me!" With that he tore from the room, running as fast as his legs could carry him. That was until a run in with a pole stopped him cold. And all went black…
X x x
"Toshi-kun…" That voice… So familiar… But where had he heard it before? Toshizo couldn't quite put his finger on it. Slowly, his eyes opened, focusing at the same rate. All was hazy, so hazy…
"Toshi-kun! You're alright!" The exclamation was followed by a tight embrace. Suddenly the planet was right again, and the Vice Commander could see. Souji was wrapped around him, clinging like a child to a teddy bear. Only this child was half naked. "You scared me Toshi-kun! Don't run off like that!"
What was happening to the world? It was upside down, backwards, and inside out; he seemed to be the only sane one. And it made him scream.
Souji clamped his/her hand over Toshizo's mouth. "Shh. They'll hear you!" He/she hissed.
"Good Kami-sama, will you let go of me." Toshizo peeled the other (he still wasn't quite sure if Souji was female or hermaphroditic) from his waist, in an attempt to break free.
Souji sat back, a pout upon his/her face. "I wanted you to know my secret."
Toshizo stood, dusting himself off. "Well I know it now." He peered down at Souji, his gaze lingering at his/her chest. "Put your shirt back on before-" But he didn't finish his sentence, for from his nose came a fountain of crimson. The force of the nosebleed sent the man backwards, out once again from the sudden severe blood loss.
Panicked, Souji slipped the kimono back on. "What'd I do?" he/she squeaked.
It was then that Tetsu made his appearance known (for he had heard Toshizo's screech), with a squeal to match that of Souji's. "YOU KILLED HIM!" The boy pointed an accusing finger at Souji, his face horrified. "YOU KILLED THE VICE COMMANDER HIJIKATA!"
Souji waved his/her hands frantically, in an attempt to quiet the youth. "Be quiet! They'll hear you too!"
"What'd you do to him, Okita-san?" Tetsu demanded, hands on his little hips.
Souji blushed, cheeks turning a slight rose. "I told him my secret."
"Secret?" Tetsu mused, watching as the Vice Commander began to stir. The man grunted and groaned, giving sign that he was indeed alive.
"Hijikata-san!" Tetsu and Souji cried out in unison. Souji clasped his/her hands together, and Tetsu thrust his hands into the air. He lived!
"Kami-sama… I need sake…" Toshizo grumbled as he sat up and rubbed his forehead gingerly. Looking at Souji he added, "Or maybe I've had too much…"
Souji merely smiled. "It was no dream, Toshi-kun."
Tetsu's mouth dropped. "T-Toshi-k-kun!" Tetsu didn't understand, and he wasn't sure he wanted to. And wait a minute, why was Souji talking like a woman? Tetsu screamed, causing Toshi's hair to stand on end from being startled and frustrated. "HOLY CHEESE MONKEYS! YOU'RE A-"
"WILL YOU DESIST!" Toshizo roared, causing the two to huddle together in fright. Seeing he got the reaction he wanted, he wiped the blood from his nose. "That's better… Now… I would like an explanation as to why you Tetsu are out of bed, and you Souji, why do you have… Never mind I don't think I want to know." He pointed at Tetsu, eyes narrowing. "You, bed, now."
Tetsu groaned, but complied. This left Souji staring up at Toshi, purple hues wide.
"Toshi-kun…" she (he was pretty sure by now) whimpered.
Toshizo sighed, shoulders slumping. "What?"
"Can I stay with you tonight?" Souji's eyes grew wider, her lips turned downwards in a child-like frown.
Toshizo scowled… thinking… And then-
Another cascade of blood from his nostrils.
"ACK! I KILLED HIM AGAIN! NO!"