Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize.

Author's Notes: Wow! Thanks to everyone who reviewed and, as always, Mandi for being the world's awesomest beta!

To those wondering: There are some OCs in this story, Isabel is one of them. Alan and Gail actually have three children, Alexander being the oldest. The other two are OCs. Remember, Arathorn died young, if he hadn't, as Alan doesn't, it's likely they would have had more children.

If anyone would like me to post a list of who characters are (and how they're related) let me know and I'll post it in an author's note.

Also, after next Monday I'll be going to updates hopefully every other week because school will have started up again for me. Anyone waiting for In Dreams, it's coming, I promise, I'm just not getting along well with the chapter I'm writing right now. Stupid thing.

Oh, and, just for the helluva it, I'll remind everyone that quite often it takes things getting worse for them to get better. ;-)

Chapter 5

"The subscriber you have reached, Alexander Schraeder, is not available. At the tone, please record a short message."

"Hi, Alex. It's me, uh, Fin, I just... I just wanted to talk to you and wondered... well, if... if you were coming over tonight or you wanted me to come over or... or something. I haven't seen you or heard from you in, well, awhile so... Yeah, just let me know, okay? Okay, bye."

Finley could feel his face burning red as he hung up the phone. At least no one was around to see him make a fool of himself.

Four days. He hadn't heard from Alexander in four days and... well, he missed him.

Finley rubbed his arm absently and wandered out onto the little balcony to have a smoke. He tried not to smoke inside except when he, well, needed to for whatever reason. He knew Alexander didn't like it. He never said anything but... Finley knew it bothered Ben how much he smoked too. He wasn't quitting, he didn't think he could manage that, but he was trying to cut back.

It was getting cold out. Finley shivered and hunched down in the plastic chair. He took a drag and watched the smoke curl and disappear before flicking some ashes off the side of the balcony.

He didn't get it. They had been spending nearly all their time together. Alexander had been coming over just to sleep until a few days before his last headache.

Fuck, fuck. He was being ridiculous.

He ran his hands through his hair and took another drag. He went back inside, picked up the phone and... remembered that Ben was away for a month on a training exercise.

For a moment he just stood there looking at the phone. Then he grabbed his coat and walked out the door.

He only realized when he was standing in the parking lot of the club that he knew where he was going. He stood there for a few moments, wondering why he was there and finishing his third cigarette. He didn't go near the entrance, just... stood and watched for awhile.

"Hey there."

Finley jumped at the voice and whirled. A blond, brown eyed guy smiled at him. "You going to go in so I can ask you to dance?"

"No," Finley said flatly. He dropped the cigarette, crushing it with his heel and shoved his hands into his coat pockets.

"Come on, the night is young," the guy encouraged.

Finley shook his head. "I was waiting for someone, he didn't show up. Sorry."

"Well I can keep you company," the guy offered, smiling again. "Sure you don't want that dance?"

Finley nodded, "Sorry."

"All right, I'll take a raincheck then," the guy flashed him one last grin and turned, strolling toward the entrance.

Finley realized his hands were shaking in his pockets. He didn't run back home but the walk was very brisk.

Finley was pacing, still wound up, when a knock at his door made him jump. He ran a shaky hand through his hair and jumped, turning on the lights as he went to peer through the peephole.

"Helllloooooo...." Annie was impossibly trying to peer through the peephole back at him so all he saw was her giant eyeball.

He opened the door a crack and looked at her, bewildered, "Annie? What are you doing here?"

"Alex is away. Eve is on circuit and I'm not joining her for weeks. I'm bored and lonely and I thought you could use the company. Come on, I brought wine," Annie told him.

Finley opened the door hastily to let her in, still not entirely sure why she was there. Annie waltzed in, one very full cloth bag daggling from her arm. Finley raised an eyebrow as she plunked the bags down on his coffee table.

"Where are your glasses?" She asked, pulling out a dark bottle. "I hope you like red, it's the best I could sneak away with."

"I don't have any wine glasses," Finley said, going into his little kitchen anyway.

"That's fine. Bring three!" Annie called. Finley could hear the rustling of the bag being opened and emptied.

"Three?" Finley asked, grabbing two dollar store glasses and a mug.

There was an odd knock at the door and Annie went to get it. Finley saw Evan, or rather, saw the bags Evan was carrying and heard him muttering. "You would leave the bulk of the job to me and not come back for a second load!"

"You would assume I wasn't going to come back and try to carry everything yourself, you silly ass," Annie retorted, taking a few bags from him.

"You're the one who brought enough food to feed a small army," Evan grumbled. He looked up and quirked a small smile. "Hello Fin."

"Hi, Evan," Finley returned a bit bewildered. "Um...What's going on?"

"She," Evan said, pointing at Annie who stuck her tongue out in return, "decided that since Alexander won't be back until Sunday and she's not leaving until Thursday she should come and gorge herself on food and wine with you and that I should carry her bags for her."

"Oh, hush, you were the one who decided we had best raid uncle's pantry since I had already raided his wine cellar," Annie retorted. "The cook gave you more treats than he gave me, I might add."

"Harry likes me better," Evan replied smugly. "But he did pack in all the fancy junk you were blathering about."

"If it isn't a delicacy I'm not going to eat it tonight," Annie said with something of a snooty sniff.

"Good, Fin, that means we have the brownies all to ourselves. Pour the wine, Annie dear," Evan instructed, making himself comfortable on the floor beside the table. Finley hesitated, still a bit unsure, then tossed him a ragged pillow from the small couch.

"Brownies?" Annie repeated, pouring Evan a glass of the wine.

"Yes, but I thought you weren't going to..."

"Harry's brownies are a delicacy," Annie replied as she filled the mug Finley held.

"Fine, fine," Evan muttered, taking a great gulp of his wine. He raised his glass. "Good choice."

"I do know my wine, dear Evan," Annie raised an eyebrow and took a sip herself. "Breeding has to be good for something."

Evan snorted and picked up a small, flaky, circular pastry that Annie had brought out. "This isn't real food."

"No. Isn't it wonderful?" Annie grinned at Finley. "He'll want onion rings later. He always does. Is there a place around here?"

"Just down the street," Finley told her, gingerly biting into one of the pastry things Annie had brought. It was delicious. He took another.

Annie smiled. She grabbed a brownie and crammed half of it into her mouth.

"So much for breeding," Evan laughed. "High society my ass."

"Uncle Alan is only considered high society because he has more money and power than the Queen of England," Annie said with a sniff.

"And I'm sure he adores that comparison," Evan put in.

Annie glared. "Otherwise he's simply weird. Auntie Gail is the reason he isn't simply viewed as an eccentric kook with an unfair share of business sense. She knows how to manipulate appearances for parties and the like. I take after Uncle Alan and heaven knows my partner only encourages it. Mucking about stables and being blatantly in a relationship with another woman makes me... wonderfully free of all that mess my parents have to deal with."

"An advantage, in my humble opinion," Evan wrinkled his nose then spit out something onto his napkin. "Blech. Coconut."

He grinned at Finley then. "I have never fit, nor wanted to fit, into that crowd. Let them handle the gossip and I will handle the horses. That's probably why I scare away all the society ladies this one tries to set me up with."

"You're the one who always complains that you're still single," Annie pointed out. "I just introduce you to girls you don't already know from the world of horses."

"Well I haven't met the right one yet," Evan grumbled.

Annie smiled softly, lifting large, dark, blue eyes to look at Finley from under long lashes. "Evan is a closet romantic, the silly cowboy."

"There's no in the closet about it. I want a wife I love and children I can be ridiculously proud of," Evan said, looking very sad for a moment. "And who can ride a horse, of course."

"Of course," Finley summoned a small smile and Annie laughed slightly.

"Now, I have never introduced you to someone who can't ride a horse," Annie waggled her finger at him and finished her first glass of wine. She poured herself a new one and filled up Evan's glass as well. Finley's hadn't been touched past a swallow. "That you cannot blame on me."

Evan snorted. Annie giggled. Finley relaxed just a bit and took another sip of wine.

"Oh, I am horribly drunk," Annie giggled, swinging the bottle of wine she was drinking straight from dramatically.

"Liar," Evan retorted, reclining quite comfortably in the ugly green chair Finley had. "You can hold your drink nearly better than I."

"She has been drinking from the bottle," Finley pointed out.

"Yes, I have been drinking from the bottle," Annie repeated.

"Just because I am more civilized and drink mine from a... mug does not mean you have had more," Evan replied then frowned, glaring at the mug in his hand. "Wasn't this yours, Finley?"

"I don't drink much," Finley commented. He was sprawled on the floor, leaning against the couch. "I can't believe how much we ate."

"Oh this is nothing," Annie waved her hand in dismissal. "You two are lightweights and I know Evan ate before he came so he dropped out early."

"This isn't real food," Evan reminded her. "I eat real food. This was a snack and dessert."

"Several desserts," Annie corrected.

"Fine, several desserts," Evan allowed. He looked in interest at Finley. "So why don't you drink?"

Finley shrugged, "Never much had a taste for it."

"Beer is positively revolting," Annie sniffed. "A good wine I enjoy..."

"You enjoy any wine," Evan cut in.

"Sometimes you can't be choosy but I prefer a good wine," Annie continued. "Or good champagne and all those girlie drinks are enjoyable as well. Now Eve, she can hold her liquor."

"That is an understatement," Evan mumbled.

"Evan is still sore because his little sister can out drink him," Annie giggled. She put the wine bottle down with a loud clank, looking drunkenly fierce. "Twelve tequila shots in a row on her birthday one year and she started drinking after that. If she gets really drunk, she'll throw up, rinse her mouth out and keep on going."

"Eve is a very... competitive person when she's had a few," Evan explained. "Annie gets, as you can see, giggly."

"And Evan is a very fun drunk," Annie smirked. "Do you remember that time in Arizona when you..."

"NO! No! I don't remember it. You don't remember it. No one remembers it and we aren't going to discuss it," Evan replied quickly.

"What?" Finley asked. "Oh come on!"

"No, no, that is a story for another time," Evan waggled his finger at Annie. She bared her teeth and snapped them shut. "I have blackmail on you, missy, and don't you forget it!"

"You're both horrible," Finley told them with a chuckle.

"Thank you!" Annie replied perkily. She took another sling from the wine bottle, put it down, giggled and flopped to one side.

"I think," Evan said with a grin, "it is time for me to drag this one back to her apartment before she passes out on your couch."

"I'm not that drunk!" Annie protested.

Evan called a cab and they all cleaned a bit while waiting for it to arrive. Leftovers tucked safely in Finley's fridge, very few dishes to do, and mostly everything cleaned up, the two departed, mission accomplished.

"Don't you dare try cleaning the rest up," Annie warned him. "I'll be over in the morning to help finish and pick up my car. You sleep well, Fin."

Evan gave his shoulder a squeeze, Annie kissed his cheek. When he went to close the balcony door he heard them arguing affectionately and smiled.

It was past 3 a.m. He fell into bed and, thankfully, did not dream.

By Monday night Finley was chain smoking from worry. Annie had said Sunday. It was a day later and still not a peep from Alex.

He stubbed out a cigarette and went to pull out another and... he didn't have anymore. Fuck.

He ran a shaky hand through his hair. He supposed that was actually a good thing. He'd probably get lung cancer by the end of the night if he kept going.

He paced. He tried to distract himself by reading. He sat on the couch and stared at the ceiling until his eyes began to droop.

He jerked awake and unto his feet when the door opened. Alexander looked at him, a bit startled, keys still in his hand.

"Fin?" Alexander asked, his eyes concerned. "You okay?"

Finley nodded numbly. Alexander put his suitcase down and moved quickly to stand in front of his lover. "What's wrong?"

"I..." Finley swallowed. "I missed you, that's all. I didn't... Until Annie told me I didn't realize you had gone away and..."

"What?" Alexander broke in, looking startled. "I thought... I didn't call you?"

Finley shook his head.

"Fuck me," Alexander swore. "Fin, God, Fin, I'm sorry. I thought... It must have slipped my mind."

Finley swallowed and decided he was not going to show how much that hurt him.

"You know there's always one important thing you forget when you travel," Alexander said a bit helplessly. "I'm so sorry I forgot, Fin."

"S'okay," Finley managed a bit woodenly. "I just... Why didn't you call me while you were away?"

"I thought of it," Alexander told him. "I should have. I really should have. I just... The functions I had to attend always went so late and I didn't want to wake you if you were sleeping, I know how little you sleep and... I've never really had anyone to call home to before. I just... I'm sorry. I missed you too."

Alexander hugged him tightly then. For a moment, it felt awkward but Finley gave a sigh of relief and pushed his face gently against Alexander's neck, reminding himself of what the other man smelled like.

"I'm sorry, Fin, really I am," Alexander murmured, fingers twining gently in Finley's dark hair. "Next time you should come with me. I was incredibly bored. Maybe we could have had some fun together."

Finley chuckled nervously, still a bit unsure, just relieved that he didn't have to worry anymore. Alexander drew back a little, keeping one arm around Finley's waist, brushing his hair back with his other hands and looking at him intently.

"Where would you go if you could go anywhere?" he asked.

"Greece," Finley answered instantly. He swallowed. "I... would like to see most of Europe, actually, but Greece, for some reason, the most. I never got to see it. Europe, that is. Well, apart from an airport or two and the inside of my hospital room in Germany."

"We could go, you know," Alexander said suddenly. "We could hop on a plane tonight. I have the money."

"I don't," Finley told him. "And I might never have it and you aren't my sugar daddy."

Alexander laughed and kissed Finley lightly, quickly. His eyes smiled. "One day we'll go."

"Yeah, okay," Finley replied.

"No, I mean it," Alexander told him, suddenly serious, "One day we'll go. We'll see Greece. We'll see Europe, everything you want to. We'll travel, I promise."

Finley looked at Alexander as if he were crazy but... He wasn't. They would. Finley knew it.

"It will be nice to go somewhere where people aren't shooting at me," Finley managed with a shaky smile.

Alexander laughed but there was bitterness in it. "Or dying by inches in front of me. Won't that be something!"

They were suddenly clinging to each other so fiercely and this time it was Alexander resting his forehead against Finley's shoulder. "Africa. We could never help everyone and people kept dying. They keep dying and even when something can be done it isn't too fucking often. You save a few, not even save though, prolong the lives of a few, and handfuls more die around you and you can't save everyone. Children are orphaned and neglected and then they die too and I would spend so much time there I started to get numb to it and that scared the shit out of me."

"So I would come home for a few months and remember how to feel and then I'd go back until I couldn't do it anymore. I can't save the world no matter how much I try. I can't do it anymore. Maybe I'm a coward but I can't," Alexander swallowed. "And this damn trip... My dad is helping to fund the renovations of a hospital and it needed it badly and everyone else who had the same level of status was busy and I'm in the field so... But everyone who finds out where I was wants to talk about it and they talk about it like they know what it was like. They don't. You can't, not unless you're there. And I don't want to talk about it. It's still too close."

"I know, I know," Finley murmured. "I know, Alex. Talking about it hurts and you're not sure it'll ever get easier. Maybe it won't. I don't know. But... At least you tried to help. At least you went and tried to help people. "

Alexander looked up at him. "I'm sorry, Fin, I didn't mean to unload on you."

"S'okay, you do it enough for me. That's part of a relationship, isn't it?" Finley said, hiding how shaken he felt.

"Yeah, you're right," Alexander smiled sadly. "What a pair we make!"

Alexander's fingers tangled in Finley's hair and his silvery eyes peered closely into Finley's grey ones. "I did miss you, Fin, a very great deal."

Alexander kissed him then and Finley let himself forget Alexander hadn't called him at all and how much it hurt not knowing what was going on and that he had arrived a day later than Annie had said he was returning. He didn't want to think about it. He was just glad he was back.

Just a question, who thought the guy who tried to pick Finley up was a creep? Because, really, he wasn't, he was a nice guy, I swear!