Author's Note: Character list is at the bottom. This chapter may throw some for a loop. It...well, it takes a rather big jump in time. Somethings may be confusing, they're supposed to be, it's something I'm playing with at the moment. All will be explained, don't worry, just not right now.

Chapter 6

"You know I like the guy, sunshine," Ben said. "So you don't have to get defensive before you even tell me what's the matter."

Finley sighed, gripping the phone a little harder, taking a drag before answering. "He's just... been acting weird lately."

"Weird as in..." Ben prompted.

"Weird as in not calling or coming over like he used to. Weird as in being busy when I call him. Weird as in disappearing without telling me where he's going, without calling and doing it more than once and we're talking for days at a time. Weird as in being distant when he is with me," Finley told him. "Weird."

"Fin..." Ben began hesitantly.

"I know what that looks like okay?" Finley took a long drag and coughed a bit, feeling it burn his throat. "We never did say we were only dating each other I just assumed..."

"That was the impression I got from you two," Ben broke in.

"I know, I thought so too I just..." Finley paced, smoked, then got tangled in the cord. "Fuck! FUCK!"

"Easy, Finley, easy," Ben soothed, wishing he was there with his brother as Finley coughed harshly again. "How much have you smoked today?"

"Too damn much," Finley muttered. "I don't know what to do, Ben."

"You don't know anything is going on yet," Ben reminded him.

"Do you think it is?" Finley asked.

"Weeeeellll," Ben sighed. "I don't know. I didn't get the impression that Alex would do something like that."

"But that's what it looks like," Finley stubbed out the cigarette and rubbed the bridge of his nose, taking a seat. "Ben... What if he is? What if... What if he's going to break up with me?"

"Come on, Fin, you don't know what's going on. There could be a perfectly reasonable explanation for all this," Ben tried.

"There's nothing I can do if he is, is there? I never understood why he wanted to be with me in the first place," Finley grasped the cord tightly in his hands, winding it around his fingers in agitation. "If he doesn't want me anymore than there's nothing I can do about it."

"Well, that defeatist attitude will get you far," Ben said sharply.

"Fuck you," Finley yelled. "Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!"

Finley had the urge to slam the phone onto the counter and then rip the jack out of the wall. He stared at it for a few seconds, took several shaky breaths and finally put it against his ear.

"Thanks," he mumbled.

"Sorry, you seemed like you were getting a bit out of control there," Ben told him, his voice gentle. "Thought I needed to snap you out of it."

"Thanks," Finley repeated. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Ben said. "Listen, Fin, you need to talk to him. You need to find out what's going on. You're going to make yourself sick obsessing about it like this."

"I know," Finley murmured. His hand trembled and he curled it into a fist, attempting to make it stop. "I wasn't always like this."

"I know," Ben soothed. "You weren't and you won't always be, okay? It just takes time, you know that better than I do. You are better than you were when you first came home."

Finley snorted. "That isn't saying much."

"Yes it is," Ben insisted. "Don't sell yourself short. Go talk to him. Don't start obsessing when you don't know what's going on."

"Okay," Finley said very quietly, rubbing a tired hand over his face.

"You promise me you will?" Ben pressed.

"Yes," Finley sighed. "I'll go tomorrow."

"Okay." Ben sounded distinctly relieved. "You want me to come down tonight?"

"You can't come here now, Ben, you know that," Finley told him. "You're not on leave yet."

"I would anyway," Ben replied sincerely.

"I know you would," Finley said, his tone softer. "But you can't. I... You're visiting in two days, it'll be okay."

"You're sure?" Ben asked.

"Yeah," Finley replied.

"Don't you forget I love you, little brother."

"I won't. I love you too, Ben."

Finley got off the subway early. He could take a bus and arrive within five minutes of Alexander's house but he wanted to walk a bit. He needed the time before he got there. Not to think. He had done enough thinking, too much, the night before when he

should have been sleeping and the morning and afternoon when he paced his apartment, hoping, maybe Alexander would call him, come over, something to shake away the growing unease the built in the pit of Finley's stomach.

No, he needed the time to calm. He needed to have a smoke and not think about it, anything. He needed to keep himself from going to pieces.

It was cloudy. A dull day. He had spent it pacing and staring blankly at the wall. It was nearly dark. There was about half an hour of light left in the day when he found himself standing on his lover's front porch.

There was an extra car in the drive way. He should just go home. But... He couldn't do that.

He refused to let himself shake. He needed to do this. He needed to know where he stood with Alexander and then... well, when he had that answer he could figure out the rest.

He knocked on the door.

He didn't fully understand the dread that was building up inside him but he was starting to feel a bit ill because of it. He could feel his heart in his throat. Could feel his pulse speed up when he heard footsteps and skip a beat when the door opened and he saw Alexander's face.

It fell, upon seeing him and Finley managed, just, to keep himself from feeling crushed.

"Hey," he greeted, his voice a bit faint. He cleared his throat.

"Hey," Alexander returned, not opening the door any more. "What are you doing here?"

Alexander was distracted. He didn't notice the dark rings under Finley's eyes or the pallor of his face. His head was half inside still.

"Listen," Finley was saying. "We need to talk. I don't understand what's been happening for the past couple of weeks..."

"I have company," Alexander broke in, looking vaguely at Finley without seeing him. "We'll talk later. I'll call you."

Finley didn't know what to say. His mouth hung open just slightly and he faintly wondered how he was still standing. Alexander didn't look at him again and he closed the door.

It took the sound of it shutting to wake Finley up to what was in front of him. A closed door.

"Right," Finley mumbled. His gestured vaguely away, eyes a bit unfocused. "Right. I understand now. I'll... I'll just go."

He managed to get down the driveway and a block away before his legs stopped and he sat on the curb, smoking a cigarette, his hands shaking so badly it had taken him minutes to light it. He didn't cry. He didn't feel.

He stood up and started walking again. He just needed to go. Back to the apartment. Then... then... something. He wasn't sure what, just something.

He coughed as the cigarette went down the filter and he didn't notice. He burned his fingers a bit and managed to light another. He kept walking, passing the bus stop.

It started to rain. He lit another cigarette.

The streets were nearly empty. There was no one to pay attention to him. Better that way, he thought, wondering if a van would pull up and take him away in a straitjacket.

He smoked. He walked. It rained.

At first Ben thought Finley had to be at Alexander's house. He had a key, he could let himself in, after all, even if it was unusual for Finley to not be there to greet him but he took it was a good sign, hoping his brother and Alexander had sorted out whatever had worried Finley so much. He certainly didn't begrudge his little brother what happiness he could find.

He was surprised to see the balcony door open. Finley was never careless about those things but maybe Alexander had forgotten or maybe Finley had burned something and was trying to get the smell out of the house.

When he went to close it and saw his little brother sprawled on the folding chair, eyes closed, face deathly pale, his blood froze. He didn't remember moving he just was at Finley's side, shaking him gently, calling his name in nearly a blind panic.

Finley gave a moan and his head lolled to the side. Ben's heart started working again. He spotted the packs of cigarettes, two of them, a few soggy ones still remaining in the second and one that looked like it had fallen from Finley's fingers.

"Fin, brother, come on, wake up Finley," Ben coaxed, slapping his face lightly. Fin moaned again. "Fin, wake up for me, Fin."

Grey eyes blinked open then quickly shut again. Finley groaned and croaked, "Bright..."

Then he started hacking. Ben had had enough. He scooped his little brother into his arms, shit, he had lost weight, what the fuck was going on?, and carried him inside.

Finley hung limply in his arms. The position wasn't comfortable, Ben hadn't wasted time with that he just wanted to get Finley inside and warmed up because his skin felt ice cold, but Finley was so stiff and cold he didn't notice the discomfort of having his arms at awkward angles even as his head tucked instinctively against Ben's shoulder.

Ben set him down on the bed, stripping him of his still damp clothing and pulling sweat pants over his hips, and a t-shirt over his head. He could count his brother's ribs. Fuck.

He bundled him up in a blanket and picked him up again. Finley was just barely aware, and only that because Ben wouldn't let him fall asleep again. He was worried about the tinge he saw in Finley's fingers and the rattle in his breathing. At least Finley wouldn't be able to protest much when they pulled into the ER.

"So, I managed to convince the doctors you were just absent-minded, now it's your turn to convince me I shouldn't be hauling you to a therapist next!" Ben said, his fingers stroking lightly over Finley's arm.

He felt his little brother flinch slightly against him. "Sorry."

"Talk to me, Fin," Ben told him.

Finley sighed, too tired to move away to look his brother in the eyes even. He was tucked against Ben, who was half sitting up against the headboard, letting Finley use his chest as a pillow. Finley was curled on his side against the safe bulk of his big brother, who had one arm against his back, the other crossed over his chest, fingers soothingly moving up and down his arm.

Ben had hauled the tv into the bedroom for the night and they were watching some movie. Finley didn't know what it was. He didn't care.

Tomorrow Ben was taking him to his home, a bungalow he shared with two other army bachelors off base. It could be a rather wild place but they knew Finley, and they liked him and Ben, at least, knew they would be very welcoming to his ill little brother.

That had been decided when Finley refused to let Ben call Alexander when they had gotten back from the hospital. He hadn't even plugged his phone back in. The only reason they hadn't left that night was because Ben wasn't going anywhere until Finley had had a chance to rest properly.

"I didn't mean to get sick," Finley told his brother.

"I should hope not," Ben muttered.

"I... just... I don't know what I was thinking," Finley admitted. "I wasn't thinking."

"That isn't particularly comforting, Fin," Ben told him. "You scared the shit out of me. Why weren't you thinking?"

Finley shrugged and seemed to wilt a little more against his brother.

Ben frowned. "I need to know if this is going to happen again, Fin. I need to know you won't stop thinking again. You sat out all night in the rain. You've got pneumonia. You haven't been this thin since you first came home and this morning I thought..."

Ben broke off and looked away. Finley's eyes crept up to his shuttered face. "I saw you sitting there and you were so still... It made me think of father."

"Ben, I would never do that," Finley told him seriously. "Never, okay? I told you before, I'm not looking to die. I don't want to die."

"Good," Ben sighed and hugged him tighter. Finley squeezed back as well as he was able, closing his eyes, feeling safe. "Now talk to me, sunshine, please."

Finley bit his lip. "I... I don't think Alex and I... He... We're not..."

"Ah, shit, Fin," Ben mumbled. "Is that what happened?"

Finley nodded slowly. Ben swore. "I didn't see that coming."

"I thought... we never said it or anything but I thought..." Finley bit his lip and his chin trembled.

"You thought?" Ben prompted.

"I thought, maybe, he loved me," Finley was silent a moment then he laughed bitterly. "Ridiculous, I know. I'm such a fucking fool."

"No, no you're not Fin," Ben told him firmly. "Don't ever think so, not about this."

"I should have known better," Finley went out, as if Ben hadn't spoken. "Who the hell would want to love me?"

"I love you," Ben said quietly.

Finley looked at him, grey eyes suddenly seeming huge. The faintest of smiles touched his lips. "Yeah, you do."

"Don't you forget it, little brother." Ben's eyes softened. His fingers gently brushed over Finley's cheek. There would be more time to talk later, he wasn't planning on letting his little brother out of his sight for a few days.

"You need to get some rest," Ben told him and Finley's eyes were drooping as it was. "Sleep. I'll wake you if you start to dream."

Finley yawned, hesitated and then rested his head against his brother with a quiet sigh. Ben remained awake, trying to keep his brother from dreaming and debating just what would be adequate punishment for the person who had caused him such pain.

"The number you have reached is not in service, please hang up and try your call again... The number you have reached is not in ser..."

Alexander frowned, hanging up his phone. Not in service? That was weird.

He sighed. He should have called last night. He knew he should have called last night.

No, that wasn't right either, he should have let Finley in when he showed up. But fucking Isabel had been there with fucking Hal who was supposed to be out of the country already.

Alexander had been ready to boot both of them out of his house by the time Finley turned up at his front door. He was certainly not letting Isabel anywhere near Finley, especially when his own temper was so frayed. Much as he loved his little sister once she got an idea into her head she became obsessed over it and he didn't want Finley to be hurt by her again.

And Hal was just as bad in his own way. He wanted Alexander to go back and if anyone could have convinced him to go back it would have been Hal. Hal had joined Doctors Without Borders a few years after Alexander, they had been sent to the same place and had become friends quickly. Hal knew all the things that got to Alexander.

He felt guilty as it was. He knew they needed doctors but he wouldn't go back, maybe Hal had more months and years in him but... He didn't. He couldn't. And he didn't need Hal bringing it up around Finley. Finley already knew what kind of horror stories could be found in the wake of war or simple neglect. He didn't need to be reminded.

Fuck, it had been a frustrating and just weird couple of weeks. It was nice seeing Hal again but, well, he could be so... focussed on his opinions that he didn't stop to consider anything else. Add in to that that Isabel had, Alexander guessed, some crush on his friend so she was always popping up and she could be just as bad...

The dreams, coming frequently, some bad, some good, some inanely normal, didn't help but that... things were falling into place. He thought he was coming to understand, he thought he was figuring it out. What Finley would think of it, and he had to tell Finley at some point, remained to be seen and maybe, he thought uncomfortably, he should have told Finley earlier.

But... Alexander rubbed his face uneasily. He had been too blunt with Finley. His lover probably didn't understand. He had just been so frustrated...

He had to see Finley first though. He wanted to see Finley just to see him. Just to be with him.

Alexander smiled softly. He wondered what his sister's reaction would be if she knew he loved Finley. He wondered what Hal's would be if he found Finley was a good grounding for him to stay for, he would have even if he hadn't met him but... Being with Finley made him feel that much more solid in his choice to stay home.

Home. That's what he wanted now. He wanted something permanent and he knew who he wanted it with. Annie and Eve understood it, they had it, so did his parents. Evan did because he wanted that, he just hadn't been able to find it yet. Izzie and Hal... maybe they would want it, maybe they wouldn't ever but he did and they would just have to realize he wasn't a wanderer anymore, he couldn't be.

He looked at the phone and then went to grab his jacket. He needed to see Finley. He hadn't seen him enough in the last months and he missed just being with his lover.

He should have gone over last night, even though Hal had crashed in his guest room. Hal could've let himself out. The phone worried him.

Finley's apartment was quiet when Alexander let himself in which was odd because Ben was supposed to be visiting. He plugged the phone back in absently, not knowing Finley had ripped it out of the wall two nights before. He frowned, looking around.

Ben wasn't here. He could see that. Whenever the big soldier was visiting his presence was obvious in the little apartment. Had something happened to him? Was that why Finley had come over that night?

No, Alexander frowned, trying to remember what Finley had been saying. He had been distracted. Hal had been talking about death statistics, of all things.

Something... Something about... The last few weeks, wanting to know what was up?

Oh shit.

Alexander felt like he had been kicked in the stomach. Shit, he had fucked up royally this time. God, what must Finley have thought? Shit, Finley would not have taken something like that well!

Alexander picked up the phone. Finley had any important numbers stuck up beside the wall. He would go down the list. Ben was first.

The phone rang. Once, twice, three times...

"Hello?"

Ben sounded distracted and worried. That did not comfort Alexander.

"Ben, hi, it's Alex, have you seen...?"

click

Alexander stared at the phone then slowly, slowly put it back. He rubbed his forehead.

"Fuck."

Character list

Finley---Faramir

Ben---Boromir

Irving---Imrahil (and at least one of his children will make an appearance)

Fin and Ben are brothers. Irving is their uncle. Both their parents are dead and, yes, their parents were Denethor and Finduilas.

Alexander---Aragorn

Gail--Gilraen

Alan---Arathorn II

Isabel---Not a reincarnation

Daniel (who hasn't made an appearance by name so far)---Not a reincarnation

Annabella (Annie)---Arwen

Gail and Alan had three children, in this order, Alexander, Daniel and Isabel. Arathorn and Gilraen never had the chance, really, to have more children because Arathorn died. That puts a hamper on things. Gail and Alan, however, did not have that problem and thus, reproduced some more! Annie is Alexander's first cousin.

Eric--Eomer

Eve---Eowyn

Brother and sister and, yes, their parents were Eomund and Theodwyn. Alan and Gail sort of adopted them when their parents died. Eve and Annie are a couple and have been for quite some time. Eric is single, no, you can't have him.

Hal---Halbarad

Marie---Not a reincarnation.

Dating, sort of.

Marcus---Mablung

Andrew---Anborn

I don't think I missed anyone. There will be at least one more reincarnation popping up and a few non-reincarnations who will make cameos.

Also, if this chapter left you a bit bewildered that was the effect I was looking because that's basically what every single character is feeling at this point.