Chapter 7: Fishing Anyone?

Summary/AN: It's been a while… but I'm back, hopefully I will be more consistent with my chapters from now on. To make a short story er, shorter, they have to get Lily's purse back somehow… and you know maybe Remus will finally get his revenge from way back…

As Mooney, Padfoot, Lily and I began our quest for the missing purse, the others went a different way. They most likely went home, I mean you can't live in Wal-Mart. Well perhaps you can, and at the rate we were going, it seemed as though that just may be our destiny. We surveyed each isle carefully, but there was no purse to be found.

"What exactly did this purse look like?" I so astutely inquired, earning me another oh so familiar kick in the shins. "Hey, what was that for? Geez… sue me for wanting to know what the object that we have been trying to find for the last hour looks like…"

"Stupid git, you should have asked me that before!" yelled Lily. She always had a way of making me feel inferior… "How can you not know what my purse looks like, I carry it with me every day?" She sighed and began describing it. "It's kind of a small purse, more of a handbag really. It's black with a silver crystal buckle. It looks kind of like… that!"

Lily pointed down the walkway between the isles and the cash registers, and there it was her purse.

"Alright then, good job guys!" said Remus. There was something suspicious about his tone of voice, but I couldn't place exactly what it was yet. "A job well done… you guys go get that, I'll meet you outside… I want to go take care of some… things…" He darted down the isle. We just shrugged.

"Hmm… maybe Remy felt the need to go satisfy his lingerie fetish again…" remarked Sirius. I still had the pictures from his bra modeling experience, and I made a mental note to go get those developed…

Just then, the manager rounded the corner towards us. We ran deeper into an isle. You see, we weren't exactly supposed to be randomly hanging around anymore, with the trouble that we had gotten into recently. We observed him carefully, and I had to restrain Lily from ambushing him after what we saw.

He nearly tripped over the purse before noticing it was there. "What's this?" he asked to nobody in particular, as he picked up Lily's bag. He opened it up and examined the contents. "Makeup… brush… more makeup… ooh 75 dollars… I reckon this is a keeper…" He held on to the purse and continued on his way.

"THAT THEIF!" roared Lily once he was out of earshot. "That good for nothing, grease ball, jerk! What an arse…He didn't even put it in the Lost and Found. I need that money. James, you must do something!"

"Yes… James, you must do something," mocked Sirius in a girly voice. We both shot him malevolent glances. I had to think fast. That manager is too greedy to just give the purse back. I knew I needed something to lure that purse back without actually touching the manager… lure. That's it!

"Accio fishing pole!" I yelled, and a Fishmaster 900 came my way. Lily was giving me her famous what the hell look. "I'm gonna try to reel that purse out from underneath his hands… hurry guys we have to get close enough to him so I can get a good shot. I need to get high enough above him that it will be easy to do. Crap…"

"Accio ladder!" yelled Lily, and a 10-foot ladder came floating towards us, hitting Sirius and causing him to knock over a display of cans. He got up quickly and carried the ladder. We caught up to the manager, who was looking at, oddly enough, high heels in the shoes section.

"Hmm these red ones are pretty, " he murmured and began rummaging around for a size. I didn't even want to know if they were for him or his wife. Sirius placed the ladder up against the outermost isle of shoes, and I climbed up.

From the top of the ladder, I could see a perfect view of what he was doing. He had parted from the high heels and was trying on a pair of athletic shoes. When he put the purse on the floor to go look at one of the floor mirrors, I figured it would be the perfect opportunity. I gestured for Lily and Sirius to be quiet, as I slowly reeled down the fishing line. Luckily, he set the purse upright, so I was able to get the hook into the handle.

Not so luckily, I was a bit too hasty on my reel in, and I knocked over some of the shoes on the shelf. I quickly pulled the line up, just before he could notice it was there. We made a run for it, and we could hear the manager wondering where the purse went…

We ran into the back room. Panting, Sirius said, "You know, I think he has some sort of cross dressing thing. He was looking for heels to match the purse!"

Just then, Remus appeared. "Hey guys… I was looking all over for you!" he sounded so convincing too. "Just went to go get some chocolate… you know me…" his voice sounded sketchy, but I let it slide. "You guys look like you just ran a marathon. It's a lucky thing for you that there happens to be water bottles back here…"

Mooney walked away for about 2 minutes, and returned with rather large bottles of water. It was very refreshing to my pallet, until I noticed something unusual. Remus wasn't drinking anything.

"Oh er, I already had my fill of it, don't you worry," replied Remy. I thought nothing more of it until about 5 minutes later, when I started to hiccup, and burp. Sirius and Lily were laughing hysterically at me. Well, Sirius was… until he started to fart. Before I knew it, I was farting right up there with the best of them as well.

"Remus what the hell did you DO to that water?" I squeaked. Apparently the water had some effects on my voice too. Lily was scarlet red, almost rolling on the floor with laughter. As if that wasn't enough, I began to shrink. Though I grew smaller, my clothes did not. I was standing there stark naked.

Sirius stopped making bodily noises in a matter of minutes, but my problems didn't end so soon. In about 10 minutes, my height was approximately a foot tall. "What in the bloody hell… Remus FIX IT NOW!" I attempted to yell, but it sounded more like a mouse squeaking.

"Um guys…" started Remus sheepishly… "I don't know how…"

What will happen next? Tune in to find out... Constructive criticism is welcome.