. . . Chorophobia . . .

Seventh Stanza: Cloud Strife

Man looking into the sea,

taking the view from those who have as much right to it as you have to

yourself,

it is human nature to stand in the middle of a thing,

but you cannot stand in the middle of this;

the sea has nothing to give but a well excavated grave.

- Marianne Moore A Grave

Somehow, when he walked over, he got the distinct feeling he'd walked in on something. Like hearing the punchline of a joke without the lead-in. Not that he was ever one to mind feeling out of place; there wasn't often a time he wasn't. It was so strange that he didn't really even care what was going on.

Heck, he'd spent half his time dancing with Yuffie. How stranger could things get?

"C'mon Vinnie!" Yuffie's voice cut through his conciousness, "Just one!" The subject of her almost whine just shook his head, no muscle below his neck moving. It would take a lot to get him to move, and whatever Yuffie was proposing was not in that list. He shot Cloud a momentary glance; something akin to pleading.

"You might want to help him out," Nanaki whispered below him, he hadn't noticed the cat sitting there.

Well, I do owe ya one, Vin.

He gave the silent man a quick nod, and stealthily crept up behind her...

"You can't just sit around the whole time! How boring is that—"

...and grabbed her around the waist and picked her up.

"You jerk! Put me down! Whoever you—" she turned around and stared at him wide-eyed. Perhaps he had overdone it a little. But it had succeeded in distracting her for the moment. She looked like a fish now, with her mouth open, and he couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculous expression.

She then frowned at him as she tried to wriggle free. Realizing that he could in fact overpower her with his pinky finger, she resorted to an old trick passed down through the centuries by the women of her clan...

She kicked him in the shin. Hard.

It didn't hurt as much as she probably intended it to, but it hurt enough for him to release his grip on her. She tumbled down, a flash of green and black, and landed with an unceremonious thud at his feet. His shin was throbbing now, but at least he had been afforded an interesting view for the moment.

Was she wearing black underwear? Weird.

She quickly pulled down on her dress; face a deep red, mumbling about "indecent exposure" and the like. It was comical, for certain, and almost... charming. She was always so funny.

And he was smiling at her, something that only furthered the redness of her face. He found that odd, but didn't think much of it. Then he looked up, seeing if Vincent made his escape. He was still sitting in the same spot, but he was staring at something just behind Cloud, probably somewhere on the dance floor.

Somehow in all the confusion, he'd missed whatever had Vincent's rapt attention for the moment. So, he turned his head to look, and saw... Tifa. Dancing with Reeve of all people.

But the strangest part was he was missing a certain lurch that used to happen in his stomach. An old jealousy that used to happen anytime he saw a man look at Tifa. He didn't feel particularly happy either, maybe just a little amused.

Wow, she really did move on.

He'd been a little hesitant to come here, after the nearly explosive fight the two of them had been in. It hadn't been the last words spoken between them, thank gods, but it had left an impression. And from the threatening call he had gotten from Barret, Tifa had been devastated. He'd never meant to hurt her...

...but dammit, you can't force someone to love you. And you can't live in the past.

"Cloud?" Yuffie muttered, standing now, "Hello?" He blinked, a little annoyed that he had been caught staring. If Barret saw, he'd have a few words to say. And from the expression on his face, Vincent might too. That jarred him a little, for he'd wanted to talk with the man.

"Sorry, just spaced out there," he replied, shrugging his shoulders and half-smiling, trying to play it off as less than it was. Yuffie didn't buy it, he could tell, but she had the grace to play along. They'd been around each other enough lately to lie convincing to each other. It was what he expected from most women, and Yuffie had grown plenty to prove she was a woman. And still herself. Odd.

He'd run into her in Costa del Sol, where he'd retreated to after leaving Tifa. She'd convinced him to take that job in the fighting ring. She probably ran the gambling organization that started it, for all he knew.

But this was perhaps the first time he'd caught her looking at him, with that odd expression on her face. The look she gave him for an instant, just after they'd played their parts.

But he didn't want to focus on her now. Maybe it was time to chat with Vincent, like he'd intended to when he walked over here.

"I'm gonna go talk with Vincent for now," he said to Yuffie, somehow not wanting to brush her off completely, "Guy stuff." She wrinkled her nose at him, and waved him off, already starting another conversation with Nanaki, in low and conspiratorial tones. He couldn't help but grin at her easy-going response. He still wasn't quite used to her.

All women, hell, people, may be liars. But you, Yuffie Kisaragi, are something else too.

"Hey... Vincent... if you don't mind—"he began, a little nervous for some odd reason, but immediately stopped when the other man looked directly at him. Such a quick change in focus was startling with this man, with his red eyes and sharp features. A slight nervous laugh escaped his lips before he could say anything more.

"You wish to speak with me?" Vincent said, one of his eyebrows arching. Cloud relaxed, seeing no annoyance in his passive expression.

"I just wanted to discuss something," he replied, automatically taking on a more formal tone. He didn't fear Vincent. Nor did he dislike him. In fact, the man sort of grew on him... but he respected him. And he was, despite appearances, much his elder.

Vincent nodded, making no indication of moving. So, this would be the conditions of the conversation.

But the others could hear... oh well. They either like or hate me know, depending on how close to Tifa they are. Can't do any more damage, I suppose.

He took a seat next to him, and noticed how much less crowded the table was now that Tifa had left. Only Yuffie and Nanaki now, and latter didn't even need a chair. Maybe Vincent had noticed that. Maybe this was all a setup. Maybe he was just getting paranoid.

"She seems to be doing well," he muttered, before he mind could think anything else to say. He hadn't come to talk with him about Tifa. He wanted to talk about...

...Aeris. That was it.

"She was always very good at seeming, was she not?" Vincent whispered, and clamped his mouth shut a little too quickly after saying so. Looks like he wasn't the only one whose mouth worked unbidden. Cloud smirked.

"Well, I wanted to ask you," he said, finally cutting the heart of the matter, "Did you ever find it? You know..." He trailed off, feeling a little silly at using such powerful words as his mind was thinking. He wasn't a wordsmith. He was a fighter. Inspiration came from the flickers of fear in his comrades' faces. When they needed a leader.

"That same old tired conversation," Vincent replied, startling Cloud a little at his quick reply, "Redemption... salvation. All such stated words." He wasn't looking at Cloud, but he wasn't really looking at anyone. He almost seemed like the man they had found in the coffin for a moment. And it was strange, considering he'd gotten used to the fact that he was... human.

"Ya. Do you think I've done enough?" he replied, hoping to keep Vincent on this track, "I've lived for her, do you think that's enough?" For perhaps the second time since he'd known him, Vincent cracked a dry smile.

"Oh, it is Aeris, then," he murmured, low and warm, "You still measure yourself according to your mistakes. I thought you had gotten past that."

The hell...?

He didn't expect this. He wanted a lecture on atonement or some advice on living with this... loneliness. Not this half-baked drivel that seemed so... so... he didn't have a word for that. But it wasn't what he'd wanted to hear.

But what had he wanted to hear?

"Vincent, don't you still live for Lucrecia?" he whispered, wanting to cross the line for once. He knew the story, he knew about this beautiful woman enough to know they had gone through similar things. He wanted that commonality.

"It is easier," he replied, idly tapping his finger in beat to the music, "To love the dead. To love a memory that has been unsoiled, unsullied by time. Does that not make sense?"

He remembered those words; for this wasn't the first time he had heard them. They were kinder now, coming from a neutral situation, on a warm Spring day. Even from someone who could be the coldest person in existence.

"You'll always love her more, won't you? She doesn't cause problems, she doesn't forget to do the dishes... she's dead, Cloud! Gods do I miss her, but you can't keep living like this!"

"You just don't understand, Tifa. All you ever do is lie!"

"Go! Go wallow in your own self pity! I can't live like this..."

Gods, he didn't want to remember that. He always messed things up. Always.

"Cloud, you knew her vitality," Vincent continued, still tapping his finger, "Do you think she would want you to waste your life, chasing her ghost?" He hated it when people were perceptive. He hated it even more when that perception proved him wrong. But he didn't feel angry... they had a commonality. And Vincent clearly had a secret.

"I guess... not," he replied, wishing he hadn't been so adamant to talk, "...But what am I supposed to do then? It's not like I'll be getting back with Tifa..."

"Dancing lessons."

The statement hung in the air, and from the sheer strangeness of it, Cloud might have thought that someone else had joined the conversation. But Yuffie and Nanaki had created their own giggling world, and everyone else was too far away or dancing.

"Dancing lessons?" he replied, with an expression that emphasized his chocobo resemblance. Vincent smirked.

"You have two left feet. I would suggest dancing lessons," he stated, like it was the most obvious fact in the world.

And Cloud laughed. A very loud belly laugh that left him tingly when he finished. Vincent looked amused himself, venturing a small smile of his own.

"Hey, if you've got any materia, I'll give ya some lessons!" Yuffie immediately burst in. He didn't know what had drawn her in: the laughter, or the prospect of business. He didn't really care either.

I must be really bad at dancing then...

"Sure, Yuff. When do I start?" he replied, eliciting a shocked look from her. He'd been doing that to her lately, and it was almost beginning to be fun...

"Umm... now?"

So it appeared that he'd still be dancing with Yuffie. Not that he minded, really.

And as they made it back onto the floor, with her chattering like mad, Nanaki made his way over to Vincent. They both exchanged a conspiratorial look, and settled in, satisfied with the mayhem that would ensue.

"Ouch! Cloud! Pay attention! Left, then right!"

"Ok, ok... sorry, I just got ahead of myself..."

"Well, watch it! That was my foot!"

AN: I don't believe in Yuffentines. So, that's one thing you can be sure of. And this was good to write, Cloud and Vincent not being slightly hostile with each other, unlike HC... good times. Thanks for all who're reading this... I'm very surprised that so many have read it!