"The Conclusion of the Masked Duelist"
By: Von Stupor
Von Stupor awoke to find Téa looming over him.
"Wah!" he shouted in surprise, scooting back. "How did you get in the room?!"
"I picked the lock," she said. "It's a lesser known hobby of mine."
"I suppose you are a fan of collecting ashtrays as well?"
"Oh yes, but I haven't told anyone about it yet."
"I could tell you shared my interest in ashtrays when I noticed how you decorated your body with them."
"You're so sweet, Von Stupor! Have a Tic-Tac."
"Yay!" Von Stupor cheered, happily eating the tic-Tac.
"Do you mind if I use your bathroom?"
"Not at all. It smells like lilacs!"
"Yay!"
Von Stupor and Téa left the hotel and met Yugi and Tristan at the card shop. They were in the middle of a thumb war.
"Sneak attack!" shouted Yugi as his index finger hooked Tristan's thumb and forced it down. Yugi laughed playfully.
"After fifteen consecutive sneak attacks, I think it loses its funny!!!" screamed Tristan, punching Yugi in his face.
Tristan noticed Yugi still laughing, so he punched him repeatedly, knocking him to the ground. Tristan continued punching Yugi as Von Stupor taught Téa the Hokey-Pokey.
Joey soon ran over to Tristan and broke Yugi and him up.
"That's not hw we treat a friend!" he scolded, pushing Tristan away. "You gotta kick him after he hits the ground!"
Tristan nodded in acknowledgement and proceeded with kicking Yugi. Once Tristan was finished, he then urinated on Trusdale's car.
"Wazzuuuuuup…" said Yugi, getting up.
"Wazzuuuuuup…" said Joey.
"Wazzuuuuuup…" added Tristan.
"Wazzuuuuuup…" Téa chimed in.
"Why I'm just fine!" answered Von Stupor, excitedly. "I was just picked up by a gay cab driver the other day at the airport when I came to enter the big Battle City tournament! He was awfully friendly."
"Is that you final answer?" said Serenity, appearing out of nowhere.
"Potatoes!" replied Von Stupor.
"…And you're correct for one wintergreen flavored Tic-Tac!!!"
"Yay! That's one, two! Two marvelous Tic-Tacs, ah, ah, ah!" commented Von Stupor, sounding like Sesame Street's the Count.
Everyone celebrated by kissing Von Stupor's mask. However, when Téa kissed it, Yugi became quite angry.
"Arg. I are quite angry." he announced.
"Whatever could be wrong, dearest Yugi?" Von Stupor asked, hoping for a third Tic-Tac.
"Back off, dawg!" he commanded Von Stupor, grabbing Téa. "Dis be my woman!"
"Coo down, my homie g-dawg yo!" Von Stupor pleaded. "Help a fellow brotha out!"
Yugi seemed hesitant.
"I implore you reconsider," Von Stupor implored, imploring that Yugi reconsider.
"Well… okay!" he agreed.
"I am the weakest link! Good-bye."
With that said, Von Stupor and Téa swam into the air and flew away, holding each others ear. Téa's ear fell off in a short while, so they stopped.
"Now I am lonely…" Yugi sniffled. "…for I have no woman…"
"That's okay, Yugi! I'm here for you!" Joey assured him.
"You'll… you'll be my woman?"
"What're friends for?"
"Yay!"
…And everyone lived crappily ever after.