Tofu of Change
Chapter 4: Train ride of DHOOM!
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING. NOTHING I tell you…why can't you stupid lawyers just leave me alone?! ::Cries::
Lexi: YAY!!! I made it to chapter 4!! Let's call an international holiday! I almost didn't bother continuing, so count the blessings, people! But sorry for taking too long, anyway.
Sano: Let's not…especially not after what happens when you have cake…also known as too much sugar…::Shudders::
Lexi: Oh…well…heh heh. Well, I know how to cheer you up!
Sano: Uh…oh…
Lexi: ::Pulls out saké bottle and hands it, beaming, to Sano::
Sano: ::Slow smile:: Yeah, that could do it…::Takes saké::
Lexi: We'll just leave him to it then, shall we? Now ON WITH THE FIC!
Sano closed his eyes, trying not to think of where he was. He wasn't on a train; he was in a bar. And this "bar" wasn't inbetween Kyoto and Tokyo; it was in Tokyo. Near the clinic. And the female next to him wasn't a hyperactive teen; it was his own beautiful fox doctor.
The train lurched, jarring him out of his wishful thinking. Misao clutched at his arm. "Oh, Aoshi-sama, isn't this FUN?!"
For once he understood Aoshi's iciness, and imitated it perfectly. "Yes, Misao, lots of fun."
She beamed at him. "I'm going to find out how this thing works!"
Demons...it's demons, you stupid little girl…
Misao skipped away happily, ignoring the jolting of the train. With her gone, he curled up in a little ball in the seat.
Demons…demons…demons…dammit, I need saké…
"Refreshments! Refreshments! Water, juice, tea, saké, and more! Refreshments!"
He grinned slightly. Perfect.
"Excuse me? Could I have a green tea, please? Oh, and a VERY large saké."
The woman smiled and bustled off. He sat back in anticipation of a good drink.
Aoshi woke up, and things just went downhill from there.
"SANOSUKE!! WHAT IS WITH YOU?! YOU SLEEP LATE, MOOCH OFF CASH, AND NEVER HELP OUT, SO GET YOUR LAZY BUM OFF THE FUTON AND GET TO WORK!!"
"Ngh…what do you want me to do?"
Taken aback by this sudden agreement to work, Kaoru did a double take and stuttered in her effort to think of something.
"Er…um…well…you can…er…well, that is…"
"If you don't have anything for me to do, then would you kindly let me sleep?" He rolled over and determinedly shut his eyes.
Kaoru blinked hard. Since when was Sano so…so…intelligent?
Aoshi tried to go back to sleep, but it evaded him. Once sure Kaoru was out of the room, he hauled himself off the futon and pulled on the street fighters ridiculous attire. Scratching his head, he shuffled off to the kitchen to find tea.
"Tea and saké?"
Sanosuke woke up from his nap to the welcome words. "Right here!"
She smiled and handed them to him. "The tea for your lady friend?"
He blinked. Lady…friend? Oh, she must mean Misao. "No, for me. Both are for me, so thank you very much and how much will that be?"
Quickly shoving over the appropriate coins, he poured all of the saké straight into the tea. A perfect plan. The saké would mask the taste of the tea, but the tea wouldn't make Misao suspicious in any way.
About half a sip in, he started to feel light-headed. This is strong stuff…even in the tea. Wait…
He knew there was something about Aoshi that he should've remembered. Kuso…the guy's alcohol intolerant! Oh well, I'll remain perfectly…clear headed…he hiccoughed slightly. Mmm, the tea tasted good. It was yummy with the saké in it. He wondered if Misao would like some. She was pretty. Hmm, so was that bird flying past the window. Interesting. Could he fly like a bird? He'd have to try when they got to…where were they going? Ah well, didn't matter. He took another sip of the tea and hiccoughed again. Good tea, very good tea. He'd have to compliment the cook. Or would it be the tea-maker? Or maybe swordsman? More tea. Hmm…he'd have to look into that. Swordsman, swordsman…what was a swordsman again?
Must be someone who makes very good tea.
Aoshi calmly sat under the tree, meditating. He'd so far had the morning to himself, Kaoru being too taken aback by his non-refusal to do work to make him do anything. The others seemed to be avoiding him for some reason…maybe it was his lack of expression. He had kept his face that way for so long, he couldn't force it to smile anymore. Not even in this body.
Someone poked him. He reluctantly opened a single eye. "Yes?"
Kaoru smiled. "Good, you're alive. I have something for you to do."
He groaned slightly and leaned back against the tree. "What is it?"
She beamed. Uh oh, scary smile…back away slowly and maybe she won't notice…
"And you see, it's the…the demons, you see, 'cause they…they like to…erm…steal our souls…hic…and camer—camre—whatever they are, cawmarrees, they…hic…THEY are…hic…evil, and…oh, hi Misao…" Sano cheerfully waved at her.
"Hi, Aoshi-sama!" She sat down next to him. "Are these your friends?" She gestured at the large group of thugs gathered around him and the dice that he had produced.
He hiccoughed. "Yup! Wanna join our game?"
"No thanks…but can I have a cup out of that tea pot?"
No…but why shouldn't she? It's just yummy tea! "Sure, Misao-hic-chan!"
Several minutes later, you can only imagine the sight that met the eyes of the other passengers. Misao was dancing wildly on the seat while the men sang a very slurred drinking song, and Sano was the one that had taught them this song. Misao couldn't quite figure out why she was dancing, but she couldn't figure out why not, so she kept dancing, eventually crashing into the window and sitting down, very woozy. The crowd slowly dissipated, and Misao snuggled up to Sano.
"Oh…hic…Aoshi-sama, I didn't know you could be so much…hic…fun!"
He drunkenly put his arm around her. "I'm always…hic…like this!"
She closed her eyes and sighed, resting her head in the crook of his arm. Smiling absently, he kissed her softly on the lips before leaning his head against the seat back. Thus positioned, they both drifted off to a slightly drunken sleep.
"Don't look at me like that, it's not MY fault I sprained my wrist!"
Aoshi continued to look at Saitō "like that". "If you hadn't been trying to gatotsu me with that sakabato, maybe you wouldn't have fallen and sprained it in the first place!"
"And if you hadn't provoked me, maybe I wouldn't have tried to gatotsu you!"
Their bickering continued, sounding for all the world like two little schoolboys—the only difference being that one of the little schoolboys kept changing his speech pattern every time someone came in sight, or in earshot.
"You're such an idiot."
"Shut up, you're the one getting out of laundry!"
"I think you're enjoying this…" Saitō said with a smirk. Kaoru passed, humming. "That this one does."
Aoshi suppressed a snicker at Saitō's, er, INTERESTING way of speaking that he had been forced into.
"Sanosuke! What ARE you doing to that kimono?! You're supposed to be WASHING the clothes, not MURDERING them!"
Aoshi looked critically at the twisted and deformed lump of fabric that was SUPPOSED to be a kimono. Well, USED to be a kimono. Before he tried arguing with Saitō and washing at the same time. Of course, washing clothes in itself was a bad idea, but he would just have to put up with it for now.
"If you wanted the clothes washed well, you should have had Kenshin do it."
"But this one has a sprained wrist, that he does!" Saitō said with an attempt at an innocent face. An innocent face that came out much more like a smirk then anything else.
Kaoru's face softened. "Yeah, poor guy, you can hardly do washing in THAT condition! Although you never told me just HOW you sprained your wrist…"
He visibly sweat-dropped. "Er, this one…TRIPPED! That he did!"
She looked at him critically but didn't ask any more.
Misao yawned. Were they there yet? She glanced out the window. Judging by the sun, we've got another good few hours…might as well…her thoughts stopped short when she noticed her position with "Aoshi".
O-o-oh, Kami-sama…now's the time to…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!
She quietly slipped to the end of the seat farthest from the window, away from the sleeping (and slightly drunk) man. While Aoshi slept off the tea, she might as well find out how the train worked.
Sanosuke awoke to Misao shaking him. He groggily opened one eye. "What now? Are we there?" Her pleading look of urgency awakened him the rest of the way. "Misao? What's wrong?"
She took a deep breath. "I found out what makes the train go."
Maybe it's not what I thought… "Really? What?"
Misao took a deep, shuddering breath. "IT'S DEMONS!!"
Lexi: WOOT!! Finally! About a week of writer's block later, I finish something! Even though it's really short…::tears::
Sano: And don't forget NOT to review!
Please take this moment (while Lexi sics her attack fox on Sano) for a brief intermission.
Sano: GAH!! Ok, ok! Review! I don't like being attacked by a psychotic fox kit!
Lexi: YAY! And I actually have some IDEAS for chappie five, coming in about a week! For real this time!