Tofu of Change
Chapter 7: Unexpected resolutions
Disclaimer: Here we are, seven chapters later, and I STILL don't own it (sigh)…
Lexi: (Singing) I'd be so happy, inside my heart…
Sano: (Rolls eyes) Leave off the theme song, willya?
Lexi: But I LOVE "Freckles"! (Which I don't own)
Sano: Just give the readers the fic! As if they want to just read your ramblings…
Lexi: (Starts to tear) YOU MAKE ME SAD! But if they read, they make me happy! I wrote this on VACATION (Goddess help me), in a TINY red notebook…and it took me FOREVER to get access to a computer to type it (Ok, so five days after I finished writing. So sue me). Basically, READ IT AND LIKE IT, PUNY MORTALS!
Saito and Kenshin were having a grand old time going at each other's throats the next morning.
"Could you two get along just for now? It's the last day!" Sanosuke said irritably.
"Speaking of which, if you two don't make friends by the end of today, you'd better plan on a very painful death…" Added Aoshi, with more than a little hint of a death threat in his voice.
Saito groaned. "You just HAD to point that out…"
A smirk graced Aoshi's face. "Of course."
"C'mon guys, it's your fault we're stuck like this! The least you can do is TRY!" Sano snapped.
"FINE!" The two swordsmen in question spat out.
Kenshin glared.
Saito glared.
Kenshin glared.
Saito glared.
Kenshin gla—
"Dammit you two, don't you know how to get along?" Aoshi said, complete with a roll of his eyes.
Kenshin and Saito simultaneously looked away, blushing and mumbling excuses. Kenshin was the first to speak intelligibly.
"Well, frankly…not really. It seems to this one that all we know how to do is—"
"Don't even say it…" Sano groaned. "Now make friends! And do it fast!"
The women, who had left on seemingly innocent and unrelated errands, congregated for their second meeting.
"Now…" Tokio said, looking around, "Who has discovered anything of importance?"
"I have!" Kaoru spoke up. "I wrote down what Kenshin said in his sleep after—after—after I heard it." She finished lamely, blushing slightly.
"Well? Let's hear!" Said Tokio impatiently.
Still pink, Kaoru fished around in her kimono, eventually producing a small piece of paper. She cleared her throat and read it to the others.
Tokio went pure white, and Misao helpfully put her hand under Tokio's elbow to keep her from falling. As soon as it was certain that Tokio was not going to pass out, Misao held up her two fingers in a victory symbol.
"It MUST be what I thought!"
"What is that, Misao-chan?" Megumi asked with genuine interest.
"Saito and Kenshin, and Aoshi and Sanosuke…SWITCHED BODIES!" She posed for effect.
Her declaration was met with three identical sets of blinking eyes. Misao realized exactly what she had said and dropped her pose.
Simultaneously, all four women spoke.
"Nah, not possible."
"This is NOT POSSIBLE!"
"This one agrees!"
"Hurry up! I'm sick of being stuck in that aho's body!"
"I'M an aho?"
"Icy aho! Icy aho!"
"I'm surrounded by morons…" Saito groaned, massaging his temples.
Kenshin flopped onto his knees and sighed. "We just don't know how to be friends, that we do not."
Sano grinned. "Well, I know how to make ANY two guys friends! TO THE SAKÉ!"
The cop lit a cigarette. ("Not in my body, aho!" Kenshin growled.) "Sagara, you ARE a moron. I don't drink."
"Well excuse me for trying to HELP…which is more than ice-man over there can say!"
Aoshi crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. "Aho."
Anger marks started popping up all over Sano's head. "Why you…"
"Gentlemen, please! Why don't we all just get along?" Kenshin pleaded.
He was immediately attacked.
The women were discouraged. Being discouraged, they did the one thing that all four KNEW would help.
They went shopping.
"Oh, Megumi-san, this would look LOVELY on you!" Tokio gushed cheerfully.
"Really?" Megumi replied, regarding the cream and lavender kimono dubiously.
"Seriously!" Kaoru said with a smile. "It would be such a nice change from that smock you always wear!"
Misao couldn't help but put in her two cents. "It's adorable! If I hadn't already bought that cute pink one, I'D buy it!"
"Oh, all right…" The fox said with a small smile, pulling out her money purse.
Suddenly, Misao slammed her fist on the wall in frustration.
"Misao-chan!" Kaoru cried, rushing over. "What's wrong?"
"I just CAN'T figure it out!" The ninja said through clenched teeth.
"It's all right, little one." Tokio said soothingly, putting her hand on the girl's shoulder. "None of us can."
Kenshin glared.
Saito glared.
Kenshin glared.
Saito gla—
"Oh come on, guys! This is REALLY getting old!" Sano said in exasperation.
Again they glared, but this time not at each other.
"Friends, right? We're all friends!" Sano said, sweatdropping and backing up.
"As you're the ones that got us into this mess, I suggest that you get us OUT." Aoshi said stoically, not opening his eyes. "Before you meet an unfortunate end."
"Yeah, listen to ice-man!" An emboldened Sanosuke ventured. "I bet he could kick even KENSHIN'S as—"
"Shut up, moron." Saito said, having returned to glaring at Kenshin.
Kenshin glared.
Saito glared.
"ENOUGH ALREADY!" Aoshi cried, in a rare moment of vexation.
The fact that he had shown emotion of any kind was enough to make the others stop and STARE.
Sano stared.
Saito stared.
Kenshin escaped to do laundry.
Sano grabbed the collar of said rurouni's gi. "You're not getting away! Make nice with Saito NOW!"
Several minutes later, Saito and Kenshin were sitting across from each other.
They weren't glaring.
This was highly encouraging.
But they were hardly friends.
"Saké?" Sanosuke offered.
Heading home with their piles of purchases, the women couldn't help but discuss their situation.
And discuss.
And discuss.
AND discuss…
And finally come to the conclusion:
Misao had been right.
Somehow, inexplicably, Misao had been right.
The said onmitsu was shaking her head and grinning slightly maniacally. "I can't believe it. I just can't believe it."
"It DOES explain things…" Kaoru said with a slight smile.
Tokio whipped around and gasped. "YOU!"
Kaoru was highly confused. "Er…yes?" She FINALLY figured it out and also gasped. "OH! I-I-I-I-I-I-I don't know what to say! I'm so sorry, Tokio-san! I just…well…"
Tokio silenced her with a wave of her hand. "It's all right. I just don't know how we're going to arrange a divorce."
The eyes of the other woman shone. "Oh Tokio-san! Arigatou!"
Saito's wife smiled slightly. "It's better this way. I get Kenshin, and you get Hajime."
Kaoru smiled gently. "I really love him."
Tokio put her hand on the teen's shoulder. "I know you do…and I love Kenshin."
Completely ignoring them, Misao and Megumi were having their own discussion.
"So you don't love Aoshi-sama?" Misao asked worriedly.
"No. Not normally, not in Sano-san's body. In no respect or regard." Megumi replied firmly. "And you love…"
"Only Aoshi-sama!" The ninja clapped a hand over her heart. "Always and forever!"
"So we're both clear on where our love lies?"
Misao gave a victory sign. "Totally clear."
"Repeat after me: 'We are friends!'"
"…"
"…"
Sanosuke slumped into a cross-legged sitting position, fishbone hanging dejectedly from the corner of his mouth. (A/n: Aoshi with a fishbone? TEE HEE!)
"This isn't working." Aoshi said calmly, sipping his tea.
"This one will NOT be friends with that damn yarou, that he will NOT!" Kenshin spat.
"Language, Battosai…" Saito said with a smirk.
Sano suddenly sat bolt upright. "Wait…
"And if they can't come to terms with that hatred by the end of the week, you'll be stuck like this forever!"
Come to terms…come to terms…they don't have to be friends, they just have to… "Saito, Kenshin, say that you hate each other!"
"Easy enough…I hate the Battosai."
"This one hates the yarou, that he does."
The rooster head squeezed his eyes shut in anticipation of some cliché dramatics, like everything going black, or a magical puff of smoke, or some corny violin music.
Nothing happened.
Or at least that's what it SEEMED like…
Sano put his hand to his hair and let out a whoop of triumph. "YES! No being stuck in the ice-man's body for ME!"
"I don't understand." Saito said coolly, admitting confusion for once.
"This one does." Kenshin said smugly, causing a barely concealed anger mark to pop on the cop's head. "The Priestess never said that we had to be friends, just that we had to 'come to terms'."
"I can't BELIVE the baka bird-head figured that out…" Saito muttered, lighting a cigarette.
Kenshin visibly twitched. "Not in my BODY, Saito! Can't you last ONE day?"
"Yes, but I deeply enjoy antagonizing you." He replied with a smirk.
Sanosuke let out a long, loud laugh. "Oh right, you two still have the rest of the day in each other's bodies! Ha ha ha ha!"
A glare from Saito caused him to sweatdrop. "Shut up, moron."
"Under the circumstances, perhaps it would be best if you two lay low for a while." Aoshi put in, stoic as ever.
"Hmph. As much as I hate to agree with you, Shinomori, I think that's a good idea." Said a slightly put-out Saito.
"Yes; this one agrees as well. Well, there is plenty of laundry to be done, that there is!" Kenshin said cheerfully.
"That's not laying low, moron! Not in MY body!"
Kenshin merely grinned infuriatingly back at him and skipped off to do said chore.
"Kenshin." Tokio greeted him.
"ORO?" He asked in disbelief.
"We figured it out. Wasn't really that hard." She replied casually.
Oh no…is she gonna be P.O.ed or what? Orororororororo…
-Wimp…scared of a woman…-
…
-Hello? Hello-o? HELLO? Rurouni, you there? -
…
-Heh heh heh…looks like it's my show now…-
"What I can't figure out…" She continued, oblivious to the subtle change in the amber hue of Kenshin's…er, Saito's…eyes. "…Is how it happened in the first place."
He traced a finger down the back of her neck, relishing her shiver. "Does that matter? But…your husband "comes back" tomorrow…that's only one more night…" The rurouni's influence long absent, he only smirked when she pulled him into a passionate kiss.
After a minute, she broke away for breath and looked deep into his eyes. "Let's not waste it…" She murmured seductively, before letting all logical thought go.
"Saito." Kaoru said simply as the red head walked through the gate. He lowered his head.
"Yes. You're quite clever, tanuki."
An anger mark appeared on her head. "Don't CALL me that…WOLFIE!"
He blinked in confusion. "WHAT did you call me?"
She smiled slightly, though the anger mark was still throbbing. "I called you…WOLFIE."
Saito smirked. "Well, I suppose it's only fair. Besides, I…kind of think it's…almost…cute."
Kaoru stared, slack jawed. " 'Cute'?"
He smirked. "Cuter than you."
She visibly twitched. "Why you…"
There was a moment of silence as his lips claimed hers. When he pulled back, he smirked again. "It's cuter than you…because you're beautiful."
"AOSHI-SAMA!" Misao cried, glomping Sanosuke.
"HUH?" He all but yelled, attempting to peel her off him. "Not any more!"
She stepped back in bewilderment. "You mean…you switched back?"
"Yes, we…" He stopped and stared. "How did YOU know about the switch?"
Misao shrugged, indifferent. "You didn't exactly hide it too well. But…you're back to normal? Meaning…"
The subject of the ninja's affections walked in, Megumi close behind. "Sagara, PLEASE explain to this woman that I am no longer you!"
"AOSHI-SAMA!"
WHUMP.
Sano could SWEAR that Aoshi had just "oro"ed.
He sighed and turned to the fox doctor. "Megitsune…you were so smart to figure out about the switch…use SOME of that brain and realize that we've turned back!"
Megumi blinked, unsure of whether she had just received a compliment or an insult. Whichever it was…it was definitely Sanosuke.
She couldn't hold back the grin. "Tori-atama…" She cried joyfully, throwing her arms around his neck and giving him a brief, but hard, kiss.
"Whew…fox…" He breathed, decidedly stunned. Quickly coming to his senses, he wrapped his arms around the woman's waist, pulling her closer to him. "Is that all ya got?" Sano asked slyly.
"Not in the slightest…" She replied coyly, raising her mouth to meet his awaiting lips.
Now, this all may seem like a happy ending. All together, all in love. In truth, it is just the beginning. How many loose ends have been left untied, how many questions left unanswered? No; this story does not end here. Not can it ever end, but there is more that must be told before we can just slap on a "The End".
Lexi: THIS IS NOT THE END. THERE WILL BE MORE.
Sano: Kami save us…
Lexi: …although this is the end for now, so until next chapter, JA! And don't forget to review, or I just might end it here anyway!