"My Big Fat Obnoxious Masked Duelist"
By: Von Stupor
Von Stupor awoke in a room full of different games and puzzles. He looked around to see board games upon board games stacked on every shelf. A partially completed jigsaw puzzle littered itself across a nearby desk.
He looked under the covers to find himself in a pair of pajamas. His shirt was a button up. Oddly enough, they fit him quite well. They were light blue with light red vertical stripes. His mask remained on his face, but he could adjust it at will. He then knew for sure that Majora was gone.
Feeling adventurous, he hopped out of bed and meandered his way out of the room, down a short hall, and to a stairwell. Before he ventured down the stairs, he listened for voices.
"He's been asleep for some time, but I'm sure he'll be okay," he heard an elderly man saying. "His mind and body were completely exhausted, so he will need a lot of rest."
I do feel rather tired still, Von Stupor thought to himself.
"You're right," he heard Yugi say. "He just needs some time to rest. It was rather stressful, fighting in three shadow games in a single night, and two of them actually strained his mind."
Knowing Yugi was downstairs, Von Stupor dismissed any suspicion and strolled downstairs. At the bottom he saw Yugi, Tristan, Serenity, Joey, and the old man he assumed to be Solomon Mutou, Yugi's grandfather.
Once noticed, everyone began to cheer for Von Stupor.
"Congrats, Von!" Joey said, patting his back. "You finally got rid of Majora! You're free!"
"Yes," Von Stupor replied. "Yes I am. I am free..."
"We left your mask on because we figured you would want to be the one to finally take it off," Tristan informed him.
"My... my mask? I... couldn't."
"What? Why?"
"This mask is a dangerous weapon. It could be used for evil should I take it off, even for a moment. 'Tis best I leave it on. Besides, I wouldn't feel right... without it on. I wouldn't be me. I must keep this mask on, for the good of mankind!"
"Well," said Yugi. "If that's really how you feel..."
"We've washed the clothes you wore yesterday," said Solomon, changing the subject. "...And those are Joey's pajamas, so you may want to return them after you change."
"Yes, I may wish to change now. After all, now that I have successfully recovered the Millennium Eye, I must find a way to get to Duelist Kingdom so as to visit Pegasus."
Téa then got a worried look on her face. She loked as if she wanted to say something, but couldn't.
"Something is on your mind, Téa? Come, lift it, and reveal to us what troubles you so!" offered Von Stupor.
Téa's face turned a bit red and she stuttered, "Oh, um... uh, it's nothing, really."
Von Stupor nodded and pranced up the stairs.
Solomon turned to Yugi and said, "You mentioned he was a little eccentric, but... to be honest I thought you were exaggerating..."
Von Stupor trotted happily into Yugi's bathroom to change his clothes. Though being able to remove it would definitely make things easier for him, he knew that though its demon no longer lived within, he must still wear it whenever possible. It is still a source of tremendous power, and should never fall into the wrong
hands.
It's really quite odd, Von Stupor thought to himself. I almsot feel... paranoid without it. I may perhaps be a bit... psychologically dependent on it staying on my face, as it has protected me during many a peril. I shall continue wearing this mask, though not because it is my trademark, but because I feel it is my duty to protect myself and others, even though, ha ha, I still don't fully understand how to use it. Being in the Shadow Realm magnifies the ease of channelling its true power because of the large emphasis it has on the power of the mind, I suppose.
I wonder, if I did not put these pajamas on myself, then who... but then that would mean... I... shall think of this no more.
Von Stupor fastened his jeans prior to heading back downstairs. Upon reaching his destination, he heard everyone in the dining room. He peered in to see them all eating lunch.
I have slept quite late, he thought to himself.
"May I... uh, may I join this feast of noon?" he asked.
"Why, of course!" said Solomon cheerfully. "There's bread in the bread box underneath the microwave and peanut butter is above it in the cabinet. The jelly is in the refridgerator door."
"I'm... allergic to peanuts."
"Oh, my! You are?"
"No. Hooray for peanut butter!"
Solomon gave him a strange stare and returned to his sandwich.
Von Stupor finished making his peanut butter and jelly sandwich and sat at the table with everyone else. He pulled his mask up enough so everyone could see his mouth and bit into the sandwich.
"By the way, Von Stupor," Téa started. "I remember how your cope got... destroyed, so I went to a tailor and... well, hang on a second."
She went into the living room and brought back a coat that looked just like Von Stupor's.
"I went out the next day and it was still there, on the ground, so I went to a tailor and had them fix it back up. I hope you like it..."
Von Stupor took a deep breath and let out a loud squeal of delight. He leapt from his chair and skipped over to Téa, embracing her.
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! My cope hath returned thanks to you, Téa!"he screamed."You are indeed my shining star-- Gurk!"
Just then, he hunched over and grabbed his chest. He scooted away quickly, holding his repaired cope with his free hand. Everyone stood up.
"Von, are you okay?!" Joey cried, concerned.
"I am fine, I am fine, really..." he replied, his breath shaking.
"You sure??? What was that???"
"It's nothing, never mind. I'm fine. Thank you ever so much, Téa. This is the greatest gift I have ever recieved."
"You're... you're welcome..." she said, still stunned from recent events.
Von Stupor then resumed eating his lunch.
"So, um... how do you plan to get to Duelist Kingdom, Von Stupor?" Yugi asked.
"Well, I believe I will borrow one of Kaiba's corporate helicopters."
"He's... not very fond of you, do you know that?"
"He will hate my guts once he let's me use his helicopter, heh heh."
Von Stupor finished his lunch and prepared to head out for KaibaCorp.
Upon arrival, he was stopped by two men in business suits. They were quite large and menacing. They sported extremely dark glasses, preventing their eyes from being seen.
"What business do you have here?" asked the taller of the two.
"I am here to use a helicopter," answered Von Stupor.
"Why do you need it?" asked the shorter.
"Does it matter?"
"Has this been arranged with Mr. Kaiba?"
"That is what I am here for."
"Has this meeting been arranged?"
"Yes, I arranged it as soon as I arrived."
"What time?"
"Right now. Must you keep me waiting?"
The two men looked at each other, their eyebrows raised.
"Fine, then. Go ahead," the taller said, sighing.
Von Stupor trotted happily into the building. Upon entering, he saw a young girl working at the reception desk.
"Hello!" she greeted, noticing him. "Welcome to KaibaCorp, home of Duel Monsters technology! Are you here on business?"
"I am here for fun," Von Stupor replied. "However, part of it is business."
She narrowed her eyebrows in confusion for a moment, then looked at her computer. "What is your name?" she asked.
"Von Stupor. Baron Von Stupor."
"Okay, um... hm. I'm very sorry, you're not on the schedule."
"Did you capitalize the V?"
"Oh, I'm sorry! Silly me, I'll check again... Actually, I'm not sure if the search engine is case sensitive... um, I'm still not seeing you on the schedule, I'm sorry."
"Oh, alright. Thank you for checking."
"No problem. Have a nice day!"
"As should you."
Von Stupor began to walk toward the elevator when the receptionist began to speak again.
"Um, sir, you're not on the schedule," she said.
"I know that, silly head! You just told me!"
"...But you have to be on the list to proceed."
"Oh, I apologize. Schedule me for right now."
"I... can't do that."
"Why not?"
"You'll have to speak to his advisors to schedule an appointment with Mr. Kaiba."
"Oh, I won't be long. You'll not ever know I'm here."
"Sir, I can't let you do that."
"Plee?"
"No."
"Please?"
"No."
"Please?"
"No!"
"Please?"
"Sir, I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave."
"Please?"
"Sir, I will call security if I have to."
"I'll give you a Canadian quarter."
"What???"
Just then, the girl gasped.
"I know you!!!" she exclaimed, her eyes wide. "You tied with Yugi Mutou in the tournament!"
"Why yes, yes I did."
"Wow, I watched all of your battles over the internet! You're just awesome! Could I have your autograph?"
"Why don't we cut a mutual agreement? Let me pass, and I'll give you an autograph."
"I... I could lose my job for that..."
"Trust me, you shall not."
"Okay, then... I'll show you where to sign."
Von Stupor gave the girl his autograph and proceeded into the elevator, shuddering with terror.
Why??? he thought to himself, ready to cry. Why can't one be happy with the gender they were born with???
He took the elevator to the highest floor, the location of Kaiba's office. The door opened and Kaiba looked up at him from his desk.
"How dare you enter my office without permission? What do you want and how did you get past security?" he demanded nastily.
"I come to you with a business proposition," answered Von Stupor.
"This had better be good."
"Allow me to use your helicopter."
"...And?"
"...That is it."
"That's not a business proposition."
"Yes it is."
"Then what do I gain out of it?"
"I will gain access to your helicopter, and you shall gain the self-appreciation of doing something nice for someone! Namely me."
"No. Now get out, I have an important meeting coming up, and never show your face around here again."
"Please?"
Rather than respond, Kaiba picked up his phone and called in security. As two guards dragged Von Stupor away, he cried, "You can separate our bodies, but you can never take our love away!"
Kaiba looked him in disgust and went back to his paperwork.
"There is a Mr. Naga here to see you, Mr. Kaiba," said a voice on his intercom.
"Send him up," he replied.
After a moment, the elevator doors opened. Inside stood Von Stupor.
"Please?" he asked.
Kaiba angrily called secureity once more, and once more, Von Stupor was dragged out.
"I need to check the R&D department," Kaiba muttered to himself, making for the elevator.
The first thing he saw when the elevator doors opened on the R & D department's floor was Von Stupor.
"Please?" he asked.
Kaiba quickly called security and Von Stupor was dragged away yet again.
"Sir, we have a problem here," an employee called to Kaiba.
"What's the problem?" Kaiba asked, going over to him.
He stood up and turned around, revealing Von Stupor.
"I need a helicopter. May'st I use yours?" he asked.
Kaiba's eyes opened wide.
"Weren't you just...?! But how...?!" he stammered.
"How what?"
"...Nothing. You will not use my corporate helicopter. Now get out! I don't have time to be dealing with the likes of you!"
With this, Kaiba walked away. He went up to an employee working on a computer and asked, "What is the progress on the new virtual world?"
The employee simply turned and said, "Please?"
"What the...?! You were just over there!"
"Please?"
Kaiba ignored him and quickly walked into a bathroom. He stepped into one of the stalls and sat on the toilet, rubbing his temples, groaning.
"Stressful day, eh, Mr. Kaiba?" said a man in an adjacent stall.
"I'm being harrassed by some fool about using my corporate helicopter for whatever stupid reason he may have, not that it's any of your business," he replied, coldly.
"Well, then, may I use it?"
Kaiba jumped up and peered over the stall to see Von Stupor standing there.
"Tut, tut, Seto of Kaiba, no peeking!" he said, shaking is finger back and forth.
Kaiba ran out of the bathroom and into the elevator, slapping for the button to his office. Once there, he slammed the door to his office and locked it. He turned around and lo and behold, Von Stupor was sitting in his chair. Kaiba threw him out of the office and locked the door before he could get back in.
"Please?" Von Stupor asked, calmly knocking on the door.
"No!!! Go away!!!" Kaiba shouted, turning to get to his desk phone to call security again.
To his extreme dismay, Von Stupor's knocking had stopped and there he sat in Kaiba's chair once more.
"Please?" he asked nicely.
Just then, Kaiba broke.
"Alright!!! Fine!!! You can use it, just please leave me the hell alone!!!" he screamed.
"OKAY!" Von Stupor cheered enthusiastically. "When can I use it?"
"Tomorrow morning," Kaiba said, his voice whimpering. "Come here tomorrow morning and you can use it..."
"Wow, thank you so much, Kaiba! You have a super day!"
Von Stupor recieved a twitching stink eye from Kaiba as the elevator doors closed.