Scented

She felt that familiar pulling at her navel - disgusting, really. There she could feel Severus whirling along with her, and Harry, Draco, Ron, they were all there. But all in a blend, and mixed together in different colors. How had she never seen this before?

They eventually landed on the familiar cold stone of the Great Hall. It was dark here, a little too. Hermione felt a bit uncomfortable as people were either trying to keep from falling or recovering from it. She glanced over to see Severus watching disdainfully as Draco took several wobbly steps. It had been a long way to Portkey, but Hermione knew exactly when they would land. She'd expected it, and braced herself.

She leaned casually against the Ravenclaw table while the others figured out where they were. It sure was taking them a while.

"So, seeing as how there are only about half a dozen of us here, we'll all be housed in the guests' quarters in the astronomy towers until term begins. Students, your things are in the hallway next to your rooms, and you will each -" Severus gave significant glances to the twins, "be housed in your own quarters. Also, a few Aurors will be in and out over the next couple of weeks to train you, give lectures, et cetera. You will, of coursed, keep this from your peers during the school year."

Harry and Ron seemed anxious to leave the Great Hall, which was admittedly rather creepy without any lights. Draco was standing next to Ginny, laughing as he pulled on his ear. A third pull, and a flower grew out of it. Wandless magic, she wondered if it hurt. Ginny seemed a little too comfortable with him, and Ron simply crossed his arms and glared.

Right. This was going smoothly. Severus lit a few sconces along the walls with a wave of his wand, and the light extended to the dungeons and the astronomy tower, "Mister Malfoy, Miss Granger, I shall require your assistance in the potions lab until school begins. We're under stocked on the simple, time consuming potions you two should be able to brew. Evenings after supper."

Hermione looked at Severus and nodded her full understanding - time to train. Now she'd get to be a wonderful hero and give people nightmares and kill them in their sleep. Draco smiled knowingly at her, making her want to sort of pull his tongue out and cram it up his arse, Ugly.

She wondered why exactly she was feeling so giddy, but maybe it was just the remorselessness of assassination creeping up on her. When she was through with it all, would she be like Severus? She had to admit he wasn't anything at all like he had been during school. This Severus was her lover. And he made jokes. It was nearly incomprehensible.

But truthfully, she wondered what this training would be like. She'd never killed anybody before, and she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to, even if they were Death Eaters. They said death is better than Azkaban, and she believed it. Azkaban almost seemed to good for those who followed Voldemort, and death itself was undoubtedly too easy. But the aim wasn't to punish them; it was to get rid of them. She'd do her part.

Her head was hurting a little too much to feign comfort. She felt as if something was poking at her brain with a sharp stick. She looked at Draco, who was still talking to Ginny, and then to Severus, who was staring unsettlingly into her eyes. She blinked, and he did too.

He raised his hand to make sure she didn't speak, and didn't break the connection between their eyes. He didn't break the link that brought their minds together. Frightened, she pulled back, clamped up into a little shell, and felt the pain dissipate. It was smothered within her, and she was more than a little surprised to feel herself breathe again.

We have to talk, He thought to her, come to my classroom.

He thought to her,.

She felt this thought as if he were pressing it upon her, making it her only goal. He left the Great Hall without a backward glance toward any of the students. She turned around and there they were, still playing around. Hermione's head hurt too much when Severus had contacted her via legilimency, and thinking about it gave her a headache. Something was wrong.

She ended up following him a few minutes after he'd left. She'd made it look as if she was tired, and heading to her room for a nap.

Hermione hurried down the steps to the dungeons, muttering encouragements to herself under her breath. Something was wrong, wasn't it? She was beginning to feel it in her fingertips, and in her temples, and it was aching to be released.

"I thought you'd never come," He said to her, conjuring a comfortable cushy chair in front of his desk. He seated himself on one side and proffered the seat to her. Hermione shuffled her feet, concentrating on the specific pain in her head.

"Well, you know something's wrong, don't you?" Hermione bit out, holding her head between her hands. She could feel him looking at her. As a matter of fact, she could feel Draco quite strongly too, though he did not notice her. And the rest of them - Harry, Ginny, Ron, the twins - they were there as well. Ginny was feeling shy, because Draco was flirting, and she hardly ever felt shy anymore. Harry had a strange angry feeling, resentment, perhaps. And Ron was paying close attention to the twins, feeling as if he had been given too much responsibility. Why? How did she know all this?

"Naturally," He responded, sounding as if he had expected her coming apart like this.

"What is it?"

"It's something we all go through. I admit, I assumed it wouldn't occur in your case, because your power was discovered with me." Hermione wasn't sure if he was trying to sound so obtuse.

"What exactly are you talking about? And could you hurry? My head feels like it's going to fall off my shoulders."

"We - that is to say the Dream Walkers - most always face this sensation. I thought you had been spared, because I felt exactly what you're feeling now…I felt it the night I Visited you for the first time. But I suppose it spares nobody. I'm sorry to tell you, the feeling is never going to go away, unless you train yourself to ignore it. It can be very useful if you are in need of it. Unfortunately, you must give your feelings, your emotions a back seat in this situation." He steepled his fingers on his desk, staring at them as if they held the answer to her predicament.

"You can't tell me this will never go away!" She begged, "It hurts even to listen, when you thought to me earlier. It felt so…wrong."

"How does it feel wrong? As if you feel guilty for knowing the Why behind everything, or because it's foreign… as if a needle is being pushed into your head and left there?" Severus watched her intently now.

"Both." She sighed, making a little puff of steam in the cold dungeon air, "It's hard to think… I'm scared to. Will ignoring it make it hurt less?"

"Fearing it will make it worse. I can at least tell you that. I was hoping you could get started with your training, at least, before this had to happen. But you must persist, and I will give you no leave because of the pain. It is irrelevant, and we can afford no luxuries," He nearly whispered by the end of it. Saying these very words seemed to pain him even more than the incredible wrongness of Walking did her.

"Why does it happen?" She finally managed. "Why doesn't it happen to other wizards?"

Severus watched her closely as she spoke, perhaps trying to understand her meaning. But he eventually took a breath, "Your mind, it's trying to hold itself together. It's a dangerous business, you could fall apart at the seams and spill out into everywhere. Your friends would have memories that they had never experienced, many of them would probably go to Draco and me, and perhaps Potter. So in trying to hold itself together, your mind resorts to poking the memories and thoughts back in with the mental equivalent of a cattle prod. Crude, but very effective.

"You'll learn to cope, learn not to wear your heart on your sleeve, and after a good long while, it will not feel as if you are committing some great sin against yourself every time you reach out. I'm only grateful you got to me this early, before you started spilling your dreams into night, where any sleeping person could easily pick them up."

She drank in his words, carefully filing them away for future reference. It did make sense. It did feel as if her thoughts were being poked around into different parts of her consciousness. And she wondered how long she would have to live with this unpredictable mind. If it was easy to feel nothing. For the Order.

Severus had been right. Walking wouldn't be the hard part, it was keeping herself together that would be difficult.

"We will begin lessons tomorrow night, after supper. Wear something comfortable, there may be some falling." He grimaced, as if it was disdainful to him.

"Falling?"

"Falling. And pogo sticks and a game called Marco Polo, I believe," He smiled at her, "Just because you'll have to learn to Walk without falling asleep. It's one of the more difficult lessons."

"I…see." She internally flinched. She didn't want to have to feel that odd pain. It wasn't so much pain, as it was a feeling of wrong. Wrong, unnatural to Walk. Unnatural to be outside oneself.

And a sudden thought came to her, frightening and too clear, "Wait, Severus. Do you mean to say you can feel it as well? All the emotions, all the fear, at will?"

"Unless the person is exceptionally skilled at Occlumency, yes," He said, "But it is, as you said, at will. It is the paradox of legilimency. The gift and the curse. I am not a whole man, Hermione… and I fear to say that in time, you may come to realize it in yourself. It is for the greater good, for the Order."

Hermione felt it in herself. The void. The need of it. After what he had told her, it was clearly evident that without the ability to Walk, it would feel as if she had lost a sense. As if she could no longer hear, or see. Or Scent.

It was slowly killing her.

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Tell me what you think? Is the story twisty like you wanted? Is it too twisty for your tastes? I think this fic will have to be a few more chapters than I had originally intended. Ah well. All the better for you, methinks?

BTW, I love you all. Thanks so much for your patience. Feedback really makes me get off my ass (or in this case, on it) and write a new chapter. Just a shout out to all my readers, and particularly reviewers. I luverya! The next chapter will be longer, really!

-Jenny