5. Shadows

I was tired... So very tired... I shouldn't have stayed up all night...I knew that the whole time...but I was so hopelessly obsessed with Link...

Dammit. I had a crush didn't I? The only girls I knew who were this crazy about their guys were completely crushing. But I loved him too. I had loved him since the moment I'd met him, even if it had taken me seven years to realize it. Well, even if I did have a crush, right now I was ready to crash, so I went to one of the few places I knew I would be safe.

The Lon Lon Ranch.

Sleeping in a pile of hay, with cows only inches from your head, is surprisingly easy when you're used to sleeping in trees, on the ground, or just not sleeping at all. That was why I liked the Ranch. I could bury myself in hay and be fairly sure that no one would find me. And since Ingo took over there was really no reason for Koume and Kotake to bother it. True, Malon had gotten all whiny lately, but she believed my minstrel cover story and didn't ask me to do anything about it.

Malon was one of the few friends I had. She'd found me sleeping in the hay when I was only twelve, and been kind to me ever since. I did very little in return, except come and visit her, help with chores, and buy milk whenever I actually had money (which was not often). I could come to her when I needed girl talk (that's talk from a girl, not between girls, or so I told myself), or just had a lull between death threats.

Now... Well, for one thing, I woke up early. Talon (Talon, of all people!) came in to feed the cows and I snuck out among the shadows.

Then I saw Malon, humming to herself at the edge of the horse corral. I dashed across, staying hidden, and jumped onto the fence beside her.

"Am I manly?" I demanded.

"Wha- what?" she blinked up at me in surprise.

"Answer the question," I said. "Am I manly?"

"Ohh..." she looked at me sympathetically. "Oh Sheik, so you've finally realized...."

My heart sank. "Realized what?"

"Well..." she avoided my eyes. "Let's go to my room."

Without a word I jumped off the fence and led the way. When we got to her room she sat on her bed and patted the spot beside her. I sat on her dresser instead.

"Realized what?" I repeated deliberately.

"Well Sheik..." she was avoiding my gaze again. "Well...you're gay."

"Oh, that. I knew that, I guess..." I had known it. I mean, a straight girl pretending to be a guy is a gay guy, technically. I'd never really thought about it though, sure I'd had thoughts about guys before, I was a teenager, we're all horny, but I'd never really thought of myself as gay.

"What?!" Malon looked at me sharply. "Then what brought this on?"

"Um," now I didn't know what to say. She knew I liked guys, but how would she react to my being in love with one? I decided to be edgy about it. "I've met someone..."

"Oh."

We were both quiet for awhile.

"Does...does he think you're manly?" Malon asked hesitantly.

"He doesn't know that much about me. Especially not...you know."

"Yeah, I know."

There was quiet again.

"What's he like?" Malon asked.

I smiled wryly. "You want me to gush? Because I can do that."

"Just tell me what he's like."

"Well…" I leaned back and stared off into space. Then my mouth started moving and words started coming out. I saw Link in my mind's eye, every angle of his face, the forest green of his eyes, that soft honey-blonde hair spilling across his forehead, the column of muscle that was his body, even his legs were sexy. Most women don't appreciate men's legs, but I sure do. Link had great legs.

As I spoke I noticed Malon getting more and more uncomfortable. When she bit her lip and clutched her sheets I stopped abruptly.

"Sorry," I said. "I know it's weird to hear me talking like this."

"No, it's not that. It's…well…"

"What?"

"I, um, I made a move on your guy."

"What?!"

"I'm sorry!" she said quickly. "I didn't know you even knew him when I met him. He showed up at the ranch the other day, he rescued Epona from Mr. Ingo and he got my dad to come back to me. But when I saw him… Well, I've been so lonely…"

"Malon!" I exclaimed, scandalized. "I never thought you would- would-"

"Nothing came of it," she assured me. "I think I came on a little strong and scared him off. But when I saw him I just wanted him to wrap those muscley arms around me and hold me until I died of joy."

We both sighed with longing.

"There's something else…"

"What?"

"Link is… Link likes girls."

I looked away. "Yeah, I know. But how do you know?"

"Um," Malon blushed. "Well, when I was coming on to him I could tell he was… very receptive to my advances."

"You mean he had a hardon?"

Malon blushed even more and nodded.

I couldn't pretend that didn't hurt. True, I had no real claim on Link, I knew he was straight and I was glad of it, but the fact that the man I loved was getting turned on by other girls…

I stopped that train of thought. I had just thought of girls as 'other girls,' meaning I counted myself among them.

"Malon," I said abruptly. "You never did answer my question. Am I manly?"

Malon looked at me seriously. "Sheik, I can tell you honestly that if you weren't gay I would have you on this bed crying out my name in the throes of passion. Hell yeah you're manly!"

I didn't really know what to think about that…

The Ocarina of Time was dashing back and forth around Hyrule Field. It didn't seem to be doing it for any particular reason, but it was doing it very quickly. What could Link possibly be up to?

I headed for Kakariko, one of the places the Ocarina had dashed through, but as I got close my stomach froze.

That's what it felt like, as though my stomach had suddenly frozen solid. There were dark clouds gathering above the village, and I got a very strong STAY AWAY feeling.

So, naturally, I kept going toward it.

A dark shadowed presence was looming somewhere in there. The closer I got the more I wanted to run for cover, and as soon as I got to the stairs I did run. Up them and into the village.

There, the looming presence was looming from the well.

Wait, wasn't the well sealing something in?

"Crap!" I exclaimed. I remembered now! The well was the place where the phantom shadow beast, Bongo Bongo, was sealed away. He wasn't supposed to be able to escape, but if he did I knew exactly where he'd go.

Impa was already there, casting something at the well, but she didn't have enough power and she knew it.

Reminding myself of all the stories I'd heard about this fiend, I rushed to the well and positioned myself in front of it to help.

But I was too late.

While I'd been busy identifying the menace and running around, mass panic or some kind of spell had started a fire. It spread quickly between the wooden buildings, and before we had time to do any kind of real damage Impa had to go and evacuate the people.

There was smoke everywhere, mingling with the shadow coming from the well. It took all my concentration to hold that dark power back, so, naturally, the one thing that would break my concentration more than any other appeared on the scene.

"Sheik!" Link was running towards me.

"Get back Link!" I shouted. If Link got hurt because I failed at this I would never forgive myself.

"What's going on?"

"Long story, just stay back!" But it was too late, I'd been talking to Link and not concentrating on the task at hand.

A formless shadow rose up from the well and rushed at me, lifting me up and hurling him back. I hit the ground with such force that everything went black…

…And when the blackness faded Link was flying over my head and it was starting to rain. I jumped to my feet, ignored the pounding in my skull, and started toward him.

I caught a movement in the corner of my eye and turned toward it. The shadow beast darted away and disappeared into the graveyard. Into the Shadow Temple. "No!"

Impa appeared next to me. "I'll go after Bongo Bongo," she said quickly, "you look after the hero." Then she was gone.

My heart leapt into my throat and I rushed toward the aforementioned hero. "Link!" He was lying on the ground, completely motionless. I leaned over him, brushing some hair away from his face. His skin was waxy and cold, and his lips were blue. He'd lost his hat when the beast had attacked him, and I could see that he had a ponytail. It was pretty hot, but not something I should have been dwelling on, under the circumstances.

"Link, Link, talk to me Link…" I pleaded. If I lost him…the thought was too terrifying. Without Link, I didn't think I could go on with all of this. Somewhere along the line, I had come to depend on him. Maybe I always had. After all, I'd been praying for his return for seven years.

I was considering mouth-to-mouth, but Link's eyelids fluttered. "Sheik…" he mumbled, then opened his eyes.

I sighed with more relief than I'd thought I could feel. "Thank god."

Link moaned and sat up. "What happened?"

"The dark spirit that had been sealed inside the well escaped," I was very tempted to throw my arms around him and squeeze him until he couldn't breathe. "It attacked you."

"It attacked you first," he pointed out.

"Maybe," I admitted. "But I was expecting it, I know what it can do. You, on the other hand, rushed in to battle it without a care for your own safety. You, my friend, are a fool."

"Hey now, I was just trying to protect you!"

That was sweet and all, but I was still mad at him for making me worry. "Fool," I repeated. I stood up and dusted myself off. "The truth is though, the Hero of Time is needed right now."

"Huh?" he stood up too, wincing and feeling his head, probably noticing that his hat was gone.

"The monster has gone to the Shadow Temple," I said. "Impa is trying to reseal it, but she can't do it alone. You've got to help her Link." I withdrew my harp. "I'll teach you the song," I decided. I hadn't intended to do this yet, since the Shadow Temple was creepy as hell, but Impa would need help and I couldn't risk it. "The song that draws you into infinite darkness that absorbs even time: The Nocturne of Shadow."

"Creepy name," he said.

"Yes," I agreed.

Then I played the song. He played along as soon as he picked up the melody, and he seemed to notice that everything dimmed as we played. When we were done he stepped toward me.

I backed away. "Link…I'll see you again." I vanished.

And pounded my fist into the closest hard object I could find. Link was so hot, and I loved him so much. Every time I saw him I found myself wanting to hold his hand, draw him close, slip my hand down his pants. But if I did that he would freak and never speak to me again. The only way I could do any of that was if I told him who I was, but I couldn't stop being Sheik, not yet. I couldn't even tell him I was a girl, because Ganon had eyes everywhere and if he heard I was lying about one aspect of my person, he would suspect all the rest. My disguise, and my safety, relied on my ability to control my urges.

Damn. I was doomed.