Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin or Samurai X Trust and Betrayal characters or plot

CHAPTER NINETEEN

June 4, 1866. It was now two years to the day that the Shinsengumi raided the Ikedaya Inn in Kyoto and slaughtered many of the Choshu loyalists, setting in motion the events that led Kenshin and Tomoe to flee together, events that ended in her death.

Katsura drove himself relentlessly that day. Walking alongside him through the streets of Yamaguchi Castletown, Kenshin couldn't help but wonder if Katsura was keeping himself too busy to remember. Each had their own ghosts to contend with that day.

The Bakufu forces were massing along each border of Choshu. The southeast, east, northeast, and western areas all reported seeing armies setting up camp just outside Choshu territory.

Katsura was checking and double-checking defensive plans, making sure supply lines were set up and protected, and talking to his generals.

"We'll go to Shimonoseki tomorrow." he told Kenshin, as they walked away from the government building.

Katsura was silent for a few paces, then went on. "I'm worried about Takasugi."

Kenshin gave him a sideways glance. Katsura didn't usually discuss his worries with him. His reticence was one of the things Kenshin found restful about guarding the man.

"Takasugi will be in the thick of battle once it starts. He isn't well. Just as he persuaded me to give up the sword and orchestrate others in battle, I must persuade him to do the same." Katsura dipped his chin to his chest and stared at the ground in front of him as his gait slowed. "It's galling to know that others are in danger while you are kept safe."

"Ikedaya." Kenshin breathed the word.

Katsura glanced at him sharply. "Yes. I wasn't there when the Shinsengumi raided it. I was supposed to be, but I was delayed. Miyabe and the others died without me. When this battle begins, many will die without me as well."

Katsura sighed. "Takasugi must realize that he is too important to sacrifice. I would rather lose a legion than Takasugi."

After several more meetings, Kenshin walked Katsura home. Shunme was off running one of his errands for Katsura, and he'd taken Oshio and Hojo with him. Takahata was on night duty. He was waiting for Katsura at his front gate, barely acknowledging Kenshin's presence with a curt nod before following the weary Choshu leader inside. Kenshin waited until he heard Katsura's front door partition open and close before leaving, his duty done for the day.

Of the bodyguard squad, only Nakamura would be at the inn, assuming he wasn't with Tamako, his concubine.

Turning the corner leading to the inn's street, Kenshin paused. Just outside the gate was Midori, crumpled into a heap. The girl was sobbing quietly, her head in her hands.

She didn't notice when Kenshin stopped beside her. He knelt, and touched her shoulder. Her navy blue kimono was printed with a tiny white cherry blossom pattern.

Midori lifted her head and showed him a tear-stained face. The little girl's cheek had a red mark, roughly the size of a hand, on it.

Kenshin's eyes narrowed. "What happened?"

She gulped. "My mistress, she's dead." A furious burst of sobbing stopped her from speaking again for some time.

Kenshin hesitated. When he lost Tomoe, he would have cut the hand off of anyone who touched him in sympathy, but he wasn't an eleven-year-old girl.

What would Shunme do?

Gingerly, Kenshin reached out and touched her shoulder again, this time leaving his hand there. The little girl's shoulders heaved with her sobs. She leaned into him automatically, and sat slumped against his side, her face burrowing into his kimono in the vicinity of his armpit.

At a loss, Kenshin patted her shoulder, rather like he would a dog's head, until her sobbing lessened. Eventually she pushed away from him and sat up straight, wiping her eyes with the back of her hands.

Kenshin sat back on his heels and regarded her warily. What if she started crying again?

"What happened?" he asked. If she started talking, perhaps she'd forget about the tears.

Midori gulped raggedly, but pulled herself together enough to answer. "Master Nakamura, when I told him that Tamako was dead, he yelled at me. He kept asking why I didn't bring him in time." Another tear streaked down Midori's cheek.

"I told him when I came back from the market she was dead. I didn't know she was going to die! I wouldn't have gone to get food if I knew she was going to die!" The girl's voice was rising. Her appeal was becoming hysterical.

"Why did he hit you?" Kenshin asked quickly.

She raised a hand hesitantly to her wet cheek. "I asked him what was to become of me now that mistress Tamako was dead. He told me I didn't matter at all. Then he slapped me and told me to get out of his sight." Midori's eyes began tearing up again. "I don't know what to do."

The last time Kenshin had a helpless female on his hands, he'd taken her to an inn, and left her with the innkeeper, a formidable woman, who'd given her a job.

Tomoe.

This time the memory came without an ache. He'd carried her to the inn that night. It had been raining, and he could remember how difficult it had been to navigate the streets with her limp body in his arms. He let that memory guide him. At least little Midori was awake.

Kenshin stood and held out his hand. "Come."

Midori sniffed, then with a child's lack of hesitation, she put her hand in his and allowed him to pull her to her feet. Remembering her manners, she bowed. "Thank you."

Kenshin pushed the gate open and held it for her. He led her across the courtyard to the porch. Tama, seated on the porch looking after Sota, saw them first and jumped to her feet. Sota immediately grabbed the doll she let fall on the wooden planking and shoved its porcelain head in his mouth.

As Kenshin and Midori came up the stairs Tama walked over.

"Why are you crying?" she asked the older girl.

"Oh…I…"

"She needs a place to stay." Kenshin told Tama. "Where is your mother?"

"I'll get her." Tama backed away, staring at Midori with a mixture of curiosity and worry.

Sota dropped the doll, crawled a few paces, then pushed to his feet and toddled over, grabbing onto Midori's kimono.

The girl's face clenched. Kenshin was afraid she was going to start crying again, but then her forehead smoothed out and she knelt on the floor to become eye level with Sota.

"Hello. My name is Midori. What's yours?"

"Sota!" crowed the toddler.

Mariko, the innkeepers' wife, opened the door and came out on the porch. She bowed, glancing curiously between Kenshin and Midori as she pulled herself upright.

"This girl is Midori. She needs a place to stay. I thought you could use the help."

Mariko's eyes widened, and fastened on Midori. "I don't know. I'd have to ask my husband."

Sota promptly fell face forward against Midori, who instinctively reached out and set him upright again.

Mariko's expression softened. "I suppose she could sleep in the kitchen. Tama." The woman touched her daughter's shoulder. "Go and see if we have an extra sleeping blanket."

Tama nodded smartly and ran off inside.

"Mariko!" The innkeeper's voice came from further in the inn. "Where are you?"

She bowed distractedly to Kenshin. "That's my husband. I'll go ask him now." She turned to Midori. "Could you watch Sota for a minute?"

"Yes ma'am." Midori answered promptly.

Mariko bowed again to Kenshin and fled inside.

Sota retreated a few steps then sat down and began chewing on Tama's doll. Midori walked over, placing herself between him and the edge of the porch.

"Kenshin?" her voice came softly, hesitantly, as she looked at him.

"Yes?"

"Thank you. I was praying for help and you came. You saved me."

Kenshin could feel heat rising in his cheeks. He felt distinctly uncomfortable.

"It was nothing." He said gruffly, and leaned against the post supporting the eaves overhead. He glared into the inn as if he could make Mariko return by force of will alone. He was no one's savior.

The innkeeper and his wife returned. Isao was a small boned man, exactly his wife's height. He'd inherited the inn from his grandfather, and was trying hard to make a success of it. Kenshin had never spoken to the man directly. Every time he'd seen him he'd been rushing around doing chores.

Isao took one look at Midori, standing protectively over his son, and bowed. "My wife and I would like to welcome Midori to our inn."

"I can stay?" asked Midori, hope in her eyes.

Isao smiled. "Yes. You will do your best?"

Midori nodded. "I will try my hardest."

Isao smiled again, weariness in his eyes. "Then come. There's plenty of work to do."

Midori followed the Innkeeper and his family inside, flashing a last backward smile at Kenshin as she carefully pulled the door panel shut behind her.

She thought he was her savior.

Kenshin wasn't sure what to think about that. His hands were stained with the blood of so many men. How could making one little girl smile make up for any of that? It was a drop compared to the ocean of crimes he'd committed.

Still, Kenshin had to admit as he went down the steps, he felt warmed by Midori's gratitude, as though a small ember turned up from a fire he thought long dead. Kenshin drew a breath and stared out at the empty courtyard.

He would atone for his crimes. As soon as this war was over, he'd devote his life to small acts of kindness and perhaps someday, after years of helping others rather than hurting them, the ember would become a flame and burn up his internal record of his past crimes.

It was his only hope of salvation.

END CHAPTER NINETEEN

A/N I'm not happy with that last line. Salvation isn't something that can be earned, it has to be given, but the line sounded good and I couldn't think of anything else that would work as well, so I stuck with it. I know this is yet another character development chapter, and had very little action in it. I promise that the next one will have more. The war in Choshu is officially beginning so there will be plenty of fighting going on.

Note to Reviewers:

Iesu no Neko – Ah ha! You listened to the OAV in Japanese and read the subtitles, didn't you? I ended up listening to the dubbed version, and in it Katsura (or the English voice actor portraying him) calls our favorite red headed assassin "Kenshin" when he sends him and Tomoe off to Otsu. After reading your review I watched it again with subtitles and you're right. In the subtitled version Katsura calls him "Himura". Himura is undoubtedly more correct and polite, but since I started out having Katsura call him Kenshin, I'm kind of stuck now. I also had to decide whether or not to use the honorifics – san, sama, chan, dono, etc. and I decided not to simply because some readers might not know what they meant and could end up confused. Hillsborough is writing a new book about the Shinsengumi! You've made my day with that news! I can't wait till it's out in the bookstores! And thanks also for your comments about the 'seeming' conversation and Saito's hair!

Kie-san – As for what Nakamura's ticked off about, let's just say that Takahata probably made a tactless remark. Nakamura's on emotional overload, so anything is likely to set him off – which is why you need to tread softly around people who are grieving. Plus Nakamura is a bit of a jerk even when he's not worried about a loved one.

XZig-zagx – You have my sympathies about your story getting yanked due to an overzealous reader. It happened to me too because I wrote a story in 'script format' which enabled a flamer/reviewer to rat me out to the administrators to settle some petty score or other. The worst part about it is you lose all your old reviews. As for me publishing a novel, thanks so much for thinking that I ever could! I've written some original stories in the past, but let's just say they should really stay in the past. I read them now and absolutely cringe in embarrassment. They really are that bad!

Conspirator – I had a lot of fun coming up with the 'heave ho' line. Glad you liked it. I love doing character development. For me, it's a lot easier than the fight scenes, and Kenshin's memories of Tomoe are still raw and will color his relationships with others for some time to come, so in a sense they are more important than the physical conflicts because their effects last longer.

Kasifya – Your review made me smile, but no, there's no magic here, just a near-heretical reverence for the 'Trust and Betrayal' OAVs. Thanks for the encouragement about the time spent researching! As for someone recognizing Kenshin so Nakamura realizes he's the hitokiri battousai….I thought about it, but decided not to. Apart from Katsura and Takasugi, most of the other Choshu loyalists who were in Kyoto with Kenshin were slaughtered during the Ikeda-ya incident, so there's no one left TO recognize him. Don't worry though. Nakamura and Kenshin will eventually have a confrontation. And yes, I'd love a tissue! (my dratted cold is hanging on forever) and a hug – though it had better be a long distance one – you REALLY don't want to catch this cold.

SailorEarth13 – Thanks for reassuring me about my bone-headed error in the last chapter. I'm glad it wasn't too distracting for you (I still can't believe I missed that!)

LadyRhiyana – I'm quite happy with Shunme too. He's turned out to be pivotal in Kenshin's development. Poor Kenshin doesn't quite know how to feel about him though! As for your question about samurai sitting around discussing politics…I'm not entirely sure that they did, though I've been watching this great Japanese TV series called "Shinsengumi" (subtitled, of course. I can only dream about watching it in Japanese and actually understanding it) and the samurai seem to discuss politics quite a lot in the show. In the OAV Kenshin never exhibited the least curiosity about the political machinations going on around him. He'd listen when Iizuka told him things, but he never seemed to initiate the conversation. Shunme has kind of taken Iizuka's place as Kenshin's fount of information for the purposes of the story. I have to get in the historical background somehow!

Lolo popoki – Yes, Kurata definitely took his role as the 'captain going down with the ship' seriously. That's actually how the real Kurata died during the Meiji era. Ryoma was heartbroken because he not only lost his company's ship, he lost a good friend with it. As for the weather, I think I'm on the opposite coast from you (you're in Florida, right?) and its sunny here so I can't use weather as the excuse for my cold. I think it's just plain old bad luck! Speaking of bad luck, I tried to find the song but when I typed in the address the computer kept giving me companies that release butterflies at weddings! Grr. I'll have to try another search engine.

Supernaturalove – You make a very good point about Kenshin's confusion following Tomoe's death. I have to keep reminding myself that Kenshin is still a teenager despite being the hitokiri battousai, with all of a teenager's innate capacity to be hurt and not know how to deal with those feelings. In my story, Kenshin's way of coping is to lock his feelings away and shut himself off from emotions, though they keep bubbling up despite his efforts.

Lilmatchgirl007 – Oh no, I don't hate Tomoe at all. Quite the contrary. I almost wish I did hate her because perhaps then I wouldn't blubber so much whenever I watch the end of 'Betrayal' when she dies. The first time I watched it I cried all the way through the credits then sat in the dark crying for another five minutes. Pathetic, eh? Oddly enough, I don't hate Kaoru either – though usually people seem to love one and automatically hate the other. Though Kaoru does tend to be a bit too chirpy for my taste, and she's timorous and uncertain when she needs to be bold. Did anyone else want to smack her upside of the head and yell, "Will you please just tell Kenshin you love him already?" during the anime series? I was really rooting for a more definitive ending to the TV series. Sigh.