When it's all Black and White

Chapter 13- Sirius Mistakes

"Okay, okay here." Remus said, laughing slightly at an owl that was trampling his papers. Taking a small owl treat, the bird left and Remus started to open the letter.

"Remus, are you there?"

Abandoning the letter, Remus went over to his fireplace to see Nurse Alpa's head.

"There you are, I have your potion for tonight." The nurse said and a vial came out of the fire.

"Thank you. Will you please owl Sirius Black and tell him I am indisposed, and that I'm sorry but I don't have time to read his letter?"

"Of course Mr. Lupin."

Remus nodded and headed for athe basement where he would be staying for the night.

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Somehow Hogwarts seemed to double in size while Harry was away. It seemed darker, even though it was only five in the afternoon. The halls were quiet and deserted due to classes, and Harry managed to run into the ghost Nicholas. The coolness of his transparent body made Harry shiver.

"Ah, Mr. Potter. How nice to see you again."

"Uh, thanks Nick. I was wondering, do you know about my scar?"

The ghost looked at the scar that ran in a zig-zag shape down Harry's forehead.

"I do. He who must not be named gave you that scar when you were just a small child. No one ever survived once he desided to kill them, except you."

Harry nodded and asked Nick where Dumbledore's office was. The ghost, who he found out to be Gryffindor's ghost, led him to the headmaster's office.

"Do you know the password?" Harry asked staring at the statue.

"Yes." He said importantly, "Skitlers."

'Skitlers?' Harry thought then laughed as he realized the headmaster must have ment 'Skittles.'

Walking up the stairs, he reached the door that would open into Albus' office. Before he could change his mind, it opened and there stood Dumbledore.

"Hello Harry, I had a feeling you would come here." Dumbledore said and Harry followed him in, "Please have a seat."

Harry took a seat infront of the headmaster's desk as Dumbledore sat behind it.

"Now, tell me why you ran away from your godfather."

"I didn't run away. He just, made me so angry." Harry said as he realized he did run away from Sirius, but he didn't care at the moment.

"What did he do to make you angry?" Dumbledore asked, and Harry didn't notice when he started to write a letter.

"He never told me! He never told me about my scar! How did he expect me to find out? And what I hated was that a complete stranger was ready to tell me my whole life story, but my godfather can't. Second, he left me with my aunt and uncle, people who hate me! People who wish I would disappear! What wouldn't I be mad at him about? It's his fault I don't have a mom and dad."

Harry was on the verge of tears as Dumbledore finished what he was writing and handed it to a beautiful bird. When the bird was out of sight, he turned to look at Harry.

"I understand Harry. I told Sirius that he should of told you of the scar as soon as possible. Obviously, he didn't take my advice. As for leaving you with your aunt and uncle, well, Sirius was out of the country when your parents died, you needed to go with the Dursleys. And third, it is not Sirius' fault that your parents died, it's Voldemort's."

Harry was shaking his head when Dumbledore finished. "What else? What else don't I know about? I want to know exactly what this scar is from! I want to know why I had to live with the Dursleys for so long! I want to know about Peter!"

Dumbledore looked surprized that Harry knew who Peter was at all, but he simply remained calm. "I think Sirius should be the one to tell you, Harry."

Harry shook his head again. "He hasn't told me anything yet, what makes you think he'll tell me anything now?"

Dumbledore didn't say anything, he just sat back in his chair as if waiting for something. Harry kept quiet too, and stood to look out the window. He hadn't realized how long he had been in the castle. The full moon was starting to show and he thought of Remus. That was one thing Sirius managed to tell him about, Remus being a warewolf.

Suddenly the door to Dumbledore's office burst open and Sirius came running in. "Where is he? Where's.....Harry!"

Watching Sirius get closer to him, Harry backed away.

"Harry? What's wrong? Why did you run away from me?" Sirius asked, looking Harry over as if checking for injuries.

Harry didn't answer, and luckily, Dumbledore stepped in. "Let us all have a seat and talk about it."

Harry didn't even look at Sirius as he sat down in a chair facing Dumbledore.

"It seems to me Sirius, that you didn't take my advice."

Looking from a very disappointed Dumbledore, to a very angry looking Harry, Sirius sighed and leaned back in his chair.

"Okay, what did I do?"

"It's nothing you did Sirius!" Harry yelled, making Sirius jump slightly. "It's what you didn't. Today when we were in Diagon Alley, someone told me that it was me who stopped Voldemort. I remember asking you about him, and you said someone stopped him. Why didn't you say it was me?"

"I didn't want to tell you. I wanted to keep you oblivious, I was going to tell you all about it before you went off to school." Sirius said calmly.

"Well you didn't! And I have a few questions for you. Who is Peter?"

Sirius sat unnaturally still as the name was said and Dumbledore watched intently.

"He was your parents secret keeper. He betrayed them, the slimy...."

"And it was your fault!" Harry yelled, cutting Sirius off. "You suggested that it should be him not you! If you hadn't done that, I would still have parents! And do you know what Sirius? I would rather have them be alive then you. At least they wouldn't leave me with people who didn't care!" Harry screamed with the built up anger that finally came out, "At least someone would have loved me."

Harry's last comment made Sirius stare dumbly at him. Tears were calmly traveling down Harry's face as he stood and addressed Dumbledore.

"Sir, may I please stay here?"

"That's for your godfather to decide."

Sirius was getting upset, mostly with himself, when he answered.

"I don't care. Let him do what he likes. I obviously don't love him, as it was so kindly pointed out."

Harry stood staring at the wall as Dumbledore followed Sirius with his eyes as the other man left. Looking back up at the young boy, he sighed.

"Harry please, Sirius just..."

"I'm sorry Albus. Can I have somewhere to sleep? I'm tired."

Dumbledore nodded and showed Harry to a room.

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Sirius was staring at the ceiling as he attempted to fall asleep, but the things Harry said cut and hurt. Rolling over on his side, Sirius felt the tears travel down his face before his whole body became still and he ran out of tears.

Hours later, sleep finally captured Sirius, only to torture him in his dreams.

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Harry sat near an opened window and gazed out at Hogwarts beautifully kept grounds. His anger had subsided after hours of calming thoughts and the fresh night breeze drying his face. As sleep called to him, Harry thought of him parents.

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Dumbledore was sitting in his office until the first rays of sunlight came to start the day. Finishing a letter addressed to Remus Lupin, he sent in and sat back, replaying the argument between godfather and godson.

TBC

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Next Chapter: 'Peace' Remus comes back and shows Harry memories of the past.