A/N- So, here it is. 'Tis the second part of my ficlet. Yes. You shall
read it and review *swings a random piece of string back and forth* Review!
Watch the thingy! You... must... review...
eponine-meliara- Yup yup yup... You guessed it. And you'll see in a little bit...That review made perfect sense! Course, I'm good at understanding the language of Exhaustion... I speak it meself most the time.
Elyse3- Coherency? No good. AUGH I'm tired. But yeah, the Ratburglars were Montparnasse, Thénardier, and Gavroche. And (or course) Ratwoman is Ponine... hehehe...
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Narrator: Last update...
[Picture of Ratwoman and Ratburglars stealing cheese]
Narrator: A string of thefts...
[Picture of Marius and Cosette answering the Sloth-phone]
Narrator: Call the Doltish Duo!
[Picture of Slothman and Lemur standing in the darkened cheese museum]
Narrator: A trap set...
[Picture of Ratwoman standing behind the Duo]
Narrator: But snaps on the wrong people!
[Picture of Ratwoman shooting green smoke out of the little gun]
Narrator: Out for the count...
[Picture of Ratwoman dragging Lemur away]
Narrator: But where is she taking Lemur?
[Cue theme song.]
Falsetto Voices: Slothman! Slothman! Slothman! Slothman! Slothman, Slothman, Slothman! Nana nana nana nana nana nana na... Slothman!
[Lemur wakes up on a platform hanging above a pit.]
Ratwoman: Good morning, contestant for the man I love... I mean, Girl Wonder!
Lemur: You fiend! Where's Slothman?
Ratwoman: He'll be waking up all alone in the Cheese Museum about now. Then, when he finds out about your tragic death, he'll find a nice little girl on his doorstep, sick with the flu, and he'll fall in love with her while nursing her back to health! Then I'll be Lemur AND Baroness!
[Lemur gasps, almost falling of the platform.]
Lemur: You know our secret identities!
Ratwoman: Duh, I'm a stalker.
Lemur: Why did you bring me here?
Ratwoman: To kill you.
Lemur: Let me rephrase the question. Why did you put me on this platform thing?
Ratwoman: Oh. Well, when I push this bowling ball through this twenty-foot tube, it'll hit this miniature seesaw, which will tip and knock over this lamp, which will set fire to this rope. The rope will eventually break, and that ax up there will be able to swing back and forth, slowly severing the rope that holds up your platform. You will fall into the put, where my starving trained rats will kill you!
Lemur: Holy elaboration! Why don't you just shoot me?
Ratwoman: *sulkily* I don't have a carbine.
Lemur: Oh.
Ratwoman: Goodbye, Lemur!
[Ratwoman pushes the bowling ball and leaves.]
Lemur: Holy predicament!
Narrator: Meanwhile, at the Paris City Police Station...
Javert: I don't understand, Slothman! If she hit you with knockout gas, why aren't you just now waking up?
Slothman: I had on my sloth-super-anti-knockout-gas-thermal-long-underwear, which lets out an invisible forcefield that blocked the gas's harmful effects. When I saw that Lemur had forgotten hers, I decided to pretend that the gas had had an effect on me.
Chief Gueulemer- Well, that's no help if we want to find the Girl Wonder.
Slothman: What do you mean by that? Are you hitting on my sidekick?
Gueulemer: ??
Slothman: I'll have you know that I put a sloth-tracking device on Lemur years ago, after that time she got lost and ended up in some crazy place called Gotham...
Javert: You know where Lemur is!
Slothman: I know where Lemur is.
Narrator: Moments later, Lemur may not have much time left!
[The bowling ball has hit the toaster, the toast has hit the seesaw, the seesaw has hit the lamp, and the fire is slowly spreading toward the rope holding the ax.]
Lemur: The edge is too far away for me to jump! I sure hope Slothman gets here in time to save me!
Slothman: Don't worry, my love! I'm here!
Lemur: That's all I need to know!
[Slothman uses his sloth-lasso to lasso Lemur and pull her to safety just as the ax breaks the rope. The platform falls into the pit and is devoured by rats.]
Lemur: My hero!
Narrator: Later that day, at the stately Pontmercy manor...
[Marius and Cosette are sitting on the cough, singing A Heart Full of Love, when the doorbell rings.]
Doorbell: Ring.
[Valjean opens the door to reveal Eponine.]
Marius: Ponine! How are you?
[Eponine notices Cosette.]
Eponine: What the...! How did you escape my rats?
Marius and Cosette: Ratwoman!
Eponine: Rats! What gave me away?
Marius: Eponine... do you... like me, or something?
Everyone in the world: No! What gives you that idea?
Marius: Because I don't love you. I love Cosette.
Everyone in the world: No! Really?
Eponine: You can't even give me a chance?
Marius: Um... no.
[In despair, Eponine runs down to the Seine and jumps off a bridge.]
Cosette: Marius! *near tears* How could she?
Marius: Don't worry, my love. She may be alive yet.
Cosette: Even after...?
Marius: She didn't die when she fell off that building, did she?
Cosette: no...
Marius: When she fell into the bottomless pit?
Cosette: no...
Marius: When she was shot at the barricades?
Cosette: Apparently not...
Marius: She may be alive yet.
Toussaint: *running out of the house* M'sieur! Madame! Look, it says here in the paper that someone stole a loaf of bread from the bakery!
Valjean: *whistles*
Marius: To the study, Cosette?
Cosette: To the study!
[Cue credits.]
eponine-meliara- Yup yup yup... You guessed it. And you'll see in a little bit...That review made perfect sense! Course, I'm good at understanding the language of Exhaustion... I speak it meself most the time.
Elyse3- Coherency? No good. AUGH I'm tired. But yeah, the Ratburglars were Montparnasse, Thénardier, and Gavroche. And (or course) Ratwoman is Ponine... hehehe...
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Narrator: Last update...
[Picture of Ratwoman and Ratburglars stealing cheese]
Narrator: A string of thefts...
[Picture of Marius and Cosette answering the Sloth-phone]
Narrator: Call the Doltish Duo!
[Picture of Slothman and Lemur standing in the darkened cheese museum]
Narrator: A trap set...
[Picture of Ratwoman standing behind the Duo]
Narrator: But snaps on the wrong people!
[Picture of Ratwoman shooting green smoke out of the little gun]
Narrator: Out for the count...
[Picture of Ratwoman dragging Lemur away]
Narrator: But where is she taking Lemur?
[Cue theme song.]
Falsetto Voices: Slothman! Slothman! Slothman! Slothman! Slothman, Slothman, Slothman! Nana nana nana nana nana nana na... Slothman!
[Lemur wakes up on a platform hanging above a pit.]
Ratwoman: Good morning, contestant for the man I love... I mean, Girl Wonder!
Lemur: You fiend! Where's Slothman?
Ratwoman: He'll be waking up all alone in the Cheese Museum about now. Then, when he finds out about your tragic death, he'll find a nice little girl on his doorstep, sick with the flu, and he'll fall in love with her while nursing her back to health! Then I'll be Lemur AND Baroness!
[Lemur gasps, almost falling of the platform.]
Lemur: You know our secret identities!
Ratwoman: Duh, I'm a stalker.
Lemur: Why did you bring me here?
Ratwoman: To kill you.
Lemur: Let me rephrase the question. Why did you put me on this platform thing?
Ratwoman: Oh. Well, when I push this bowling ball through this twenty-foot tube, it'll hit this miniature seesaw, which will tip and knock over this lamp, which will set fire to this rope. The rope will eventually break, and that ax up there will be able to swing back and forth, slowly severing the rope that holds up your platform. You will fall into the put, where my starving trained rats will kill you!
Lemur: Holy elaboration! Why don't you just shoot me?
Ratwoman: *sulkily* I don't have a carbine.
Lemur: Oh.
Ratwoman: Goodbye, Lemur!
[Ratwoman pushes the bowling ball and leaves.]
Lemur: Holy predicament!
Narrator: Meanwhile, at the Paris City Police Station...
Javert: I don't understand, Slothman! If she hit you with knockout gas, why aren't you just now waking up?
Slothman: I had on my sloth-super-anti-knockout-gas-thermal-long-underwear, which lets out an invisible forcefield that blocked the gas's harmful effects. When I saw that Lemur had forgotten hers, I decided to pretend that the gas had had an effect on me.
Chief Gueulemer- Well, that's no help if we want to find the Girl Wonder.
Slothman: What do you mean by that? Are you hitting on my sidekick?
Gueulemer: ??
Slothman: I'll have you know that I put a sloth-tracking device on Lemur years ago, after that time she got lost and ended up in some crazy place called Gotham...
Javert: You know where Lemur is!
Slothman: I know where Lemur is.
Narrator: Moments later, Lemur may not have much time left!
[The bowling ball has hit the toaster, the toast has hit the seesaw, the seesaw has hit the lamp, and the fire is slowly spreading toward the rope holding the ax.]
Lemur: The edge is too far away for me to jump! I sure hope Slothman gets here in time to save me!
Slothman: Don't worry, my love! I'm here!
Lemur: That's all I need to know!
[Slothman uses his sloth-lasso to lasso Lemur and pull her to safety just as the ax breaks the rope. The platform falls into the pit and is devoured by rats.]
Lemur: My hero!
Narrator: Later that day, at the stately Pontmercy manor...
[Marius and Cosette are sitting on the cough, singing A Heart Full of Love, when the doorbell rings.]
Doorbell: Ring.
[Valjean opens the door to reveal Eponine.]
Marius: Ponine! How are you?
[Eponine notices Cosette.]
Eponine: What the...! How did you escape my rats?
Marius and Cosette: Ratwoman!
Eponine: Rats! What gave me away?
Marius: Eponine... do you... like me, or something?
Everyone in the world: No! What gives you that idea?
Marius: Because I don't love you. I love Cosette.
Everyone in the world: No! Really?
Eponine: You can't even give me a chance?
Marius: Um... no.
[In despair, Eponine runs down to the Seine and jumps off a bridge.]
Cosette: Marius! *near tears* How could she?
Marius: Don't worry, my love. She may be alive yet.
Cosette: Even after...?
Marius: She didn't die when she fell off that building, did she?
Cosette: no...
Marius: When she fell into the bottomless pit?
Cosette: no...
Marius: When she was shot at the barricades?
Cosette: Apparently not...
Marius: She may be alive yet.
Toussaint: *running out of the house* M'sieur! Madame! Look, it says here in the paper that someone stole a loaf of bread from the bakery!
Valjean: *whistles*
Marius: To the study, Cosette?
Cosette: To the study!
[Cue credits.]