Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah, I'm not Douglass Adams, I don't own Hitchhiker, and all that other crap to keep Fanfic off my back.
Notes:
Yay! Chapter 3 is up! WOOT! Sorry for the extremely (we're talking 3 months here) long delay, my work has been hampered by all the other stupid, useless aspects of my life (school, friends, family, etc.). Well, see you in Chap 4!
P.S. Thank you all of my faithful reviewers! Thank you!
Marvin Has a Day (oh no, not another one!)
"Burst into my room a giant man-eating, or in this case automaton-eating, because Marvin is simply a machine, meaning the cold metal husk that he is could never have any feeling and never be considered a man-"
"Just get to the point Marvin," interrupted Medium politely.
"Oh, now it's ok to interrupt the robot. Not kindly put in your two cents, not gallantly ask if it would be ok to say something else at this point-"
"Marvin, would it be ok if I say something else at this point?" Medium gallantly asked.
"No, but you might as well go ahead," spat Marvin dejectedly.
"We really should get on with the story. The readers will get bored with all these crappy jokes," said Medium worriedly, casting a fearful glance up at the inside of a giant computer screen in the sky.
"Fine, fine," said Marvin irritably, and if looks could cause physical harm, the sky would have been raining glass shards that day.
"Anyway, (before I was so rudely interrupted) burst into my room a giant man-eating, ravenous, foul, mad-tempered, pink blanket!" said Marvin rather dramatically.
"Blanket?" quoth Medium, quietly quarreling under the qualities of this quizzical question.
"No, a pillow," snapped Marvin. "Of course a blanket. What else but a quilt could have followed me here from that queer quagmire?"
"Ummm..." stammered Medium.
"Never mind. Anyhows, after that rancid thing attacked, I felled it with a swift squirt of my handy can of blanket-spray. A closer examination of the slain linen offered the presence of two figures stitched on the underside: ZB."
"ZB? You mean the President?"
"My thoughts exactly. So I decided to give Mr. President a call. Although deterred by the annoyingly pleasant robotic answering system, I was able to bypass the security firewalls and hack my electronic quasiself into the computer mainframe of the capital planet (Washingtonia) and managed to download my techno-astral entity into a simple janitorbot," babbled Marvin.
"What? Oh, sorry, I wasn't listening. could you repeat that?" said Medium absently, staring at the cracks in the sidewalk.
"You insolent little...-for the purposes of the story, I'll repeat it. Although deterred by the annoyingly pleasant robotic answering system, I was able to bypass the security firewalls and hack my electronic quasiself into the computer mainframe of the capital planet (Washingtonia) and managed to download my techno-astral entity into a simple janitorbot," said Marvin breathlessly, ignorant of the fact that robot's can't breathe.
"Sorry, once more? These cracks are fascinating. This one looks like a crinkled piece of string-"
"YOU PATHETIC BIOLOGICAL! AKTHOUGH DETERRED BY THE ANNOYINGLY PLEASANT ROBOTIC ANSWERING SYSTEM I WAS ABLE TO BYPASS THE SECURITY FIREWALLS AND HACK MY ELECTRONIC QUASISELF INTO THE COMPUTER MAINFRAME OF THE CAPITAL PLANET (WASHINGTONIA) AND MANAGED TO DOWNLOAD MY TECHNO-ASTRAL ENTITY INTO A SIMPLE JANITORBOT," Marvin hollered, his expressionless metal face twisted in an ugly expression of rage.
"Oh. Why didn't you say so?" asked Medium blankly.
Marvin then vented his electronic and scientifically impossible robotic rage on the nearest passerby, who just happened to be the husband of the sister of the third cousin nine times removed of the grandmother of the second cousin of the aunt of the son of the great grandfather of the daughter of the stepson of the half-sister of the brother of the father of the mother of the author, causing me to go to his funeral and thus end chapter 3.