This is it! The last chapter! (Please don't kick my ass.) I am too tired to write anything clever here, so on to the 'Props!'
DarkWindingRose: Anywhosits doesn't come around anymore. It's just me now, 'Brain' scared him off. Is that 'interesting,' as in 'disturbing,' or as in 'what the hell are you doing, here?'
Raven's Girlfriend: I love you too! Wanna see my boxing gloves? Sorry, but if BB kissing Rae normally disturbs you...you may hate this chapter-don't hurt me...too much...
...Woohoo!...
Special Award to Raven's Girlfriend, for outstanding supporing role in keeping the author interested in this story!
Respectful, unlike some of you
Anna is her name, (if you believe that.) her reviews are
Very tasteful. She has
Eclectic taste in music.
Not crazy, although
She has two muses
Girlfriend, you are the bomb! I mean it!
...More Props...
Malcore Xan'thex: Does that mean you do not understand me, or that everyone else thinks I am a retard, but will call me a genius after I am dead?
Numbah half way hell: Thanks for being so kind. Yes, I understand. 'Brain' says he's gonna kick your ass, though...
gosscliff: Thanks, I have to admit-I thought the last chapter was the funniest, too.
Quite-a-shame: Ooooh! Another almost-unrestricted outburst of praise! 'Brain,' get him...
devilleader: 'Beta' is my man-eating hamster. Dude, you don't even remember the question, do you?
CeeJTanK: Uh...thanks-I think? What scares you-me or the story? Muahhahahahahaha...
SaintH: Robust thanks! I learned a new expression! (That means it doesn't suck, right...?) What is it with you and Will Smith?
LASHAY-ISAAC: What? That's it? Were you laughing too hard to write more?
Darkest Midnight: Brain: You are so dead, punk! Vin: Ha ha, just kidding...need any help with that 'humiliation' thing? I have tennis rackets, and baseball bats-the wood kind!
N.C. PsyChick: Ooooh-you have potential! Keep reading, I think you will like this one...
but understand-if you 'go Raven' on me, it may not have the desired effect (I will probably adore you.)
...Insert story here
On to the last, and most understated (hee hee, I am such a liar) chapter of all!
'Spanky,' Fumbling in the Dark, and Welding Torches.
...NEXT...MORNING...AT...BREAKFAST...
Cyborg limped down to breakfast, to find Robin and Sherry asleep on the couch, leaning against each other, laptops still at the ready.
Cyborg: "Hey BB, check this!"
Thought: 'Hee hee-prank time..."
Beastboy: "Where's my camera?"
Thought: 'Dude-blackmail ammunition!'
Cyborg: "I got a bucket of water...heh heh."
Thought: 'If you want a really good picture...'
Me: "Probably not a good idea, boys."
My thought: '...would be amusing, though...'
Starfire: "What is the purpose of the bucket of water?"
Thought: 'Perhaps I should get the hose?'
Beastboy: "See Star, you put their hands in water, and it makes them, uh..."
Thought: '...gonna be so great...'
Cyborg: "Piss their pants! Hee Hee!"
Thought: 'Then I'll blame it on greenie...'
Starfire: "That does not sound very kind."
Thought: 'amusing, however...'
The water was positioned. As soon as BB tried to move Robin's hand, however, he was grabbed by the throat.
Robin: (Grinning broadly.) "Hah! I'm a light sleeper. Nice try dillweed."
Thought: 'Shit-really lucked out, there.'
Sherry: (Awakening sleepily.) "Oh, good morning 'Spanky.'"
Robin: (Blushing furiously.) "Agghhhh! Misstre-I mean, Sherry!"
Thought: 'I should just kill myself now...'
Beastboy and Cyborg: (ROFL) "Heeheehee-'Spanky'-hahahahahaha!"
My thought: 'Have to admit, that was probably better than the water bit...'
Starfire: "I do not understand. Who is 'Spanky?' And why is this so funny?"
Thought: '...and if anyone says I am dumb, I shall kick his ass!'
Me: "She called him 'Spanky,' because last night, these two..."
Robin: (Executing flawless death-glare aimed at Raven.)
Me: "Uhhhh-Let's go to my room, Star."
Thought: 'hmmm...or maybe...stupid 'Beast' fell asleep before I even got back upstairs, last night...'
...MY...ROOM...
Starfire: "Oh, I see. The 'Spanky' refers to Robin's submission to torture administered by the Miss-Tress?"
Thought: 'Hmmm...I think I would enjoy Miss-Tressing friend Cyborg. I must learn how to operate the welding torch...'
Disturbing. I tried a subtle approach.
Me: "Star-you're such a sweet girl. You wouldn't want to hurt anyone like that, right?"
My thought: 'Aaaaaahh! Lame!'
Starfire: "Of course not, silly."
Thought: 'I am so glad friend Robin explained lying to me.'
Starfire: (Giving me an unexpected, big, sloppy kiss!) "Thank you for explaining the 'water trick,' and the 'Spanky,' and the glorious 'Miss-Tress' of domination of the male of the species."
My thought: 'Sorry, Cy. Shit! Next time 'party girl' kisses me like that...Bang! Zoom! To the Moon, Alice! Grrrrr! Where the hell is my 'Beast-toy'?'
...IN...THE...KITCHEN...
Beast: "But Raven-I'm hungry!"
Thought: '-and you're scary.'
Me: "We are going to my room, for a nice long /cough/ talk."
Thought: '...and I am all ears-Muahhahahahahaha!'
...MY...ROOM...WHEEE!...
Me: "Put it in, Beast! Hurry!"
Beast: "I can't! It's too dark-I don't know where it is!"
Me: "Do I have to do everything myself?"
Beast: "You're making me nervous, Rae-just give me a minute, I'll find it..."
Me: "I'm dying, here."
Beast: "Come on, Rae-I've never even seen yours."
Me: "Retard! Just feel around...yeah-right there, that's it."
Beast: "How do I do this?"
Me: "Haven't you ever played with yours in the dark?"
Beast: "Well-yeah..."
(Fumbling in the dark. Subvocalized cursing.)
Beast: "Oh-gross!"
Me: "/sigh/ The other end, genius."
Beast: "Hey! I think I found it!"
Me: "Fine...just get it in, before I fall asleep, okay?"
Beast: "Fine. Be sarcastic. You should have just done it yourself, if you're in such a hurry!"
Me: "You're right. Sorry, babe, I'll do it myself in a minute-just kiss me, okay?"
My thought: 'Make mestop thinking about that Jackie Gleason line...'
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB
Beastboy never did manage to get the CD player turned on, but once he started kissing me I forgot all about wanting mood music.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Me: "Do you still respect me, BB?"
Thought: 'Think carefully, 'Lumpy!''
Beast: "Not only do I respect you-I'm still scared to death of you kicking the shit out of me!"
Thought: '...but at least weenies live longer...'
Me: "Love me?"
Beast: "Again?"
My thought: 'Why the hell was it you picked him again, 'Love?''
Love-Raven: 'He's cute!'
Lust: 'He can morph different parts of his body...hee hee'
Hate: 'Let's kill dumbshit now. Hold it! Do you think he can do a horse's-?'
Despair: 'I knew this would suck...'
Booyah: 'How bout we kick your ass again, Rosie?'
Happy: 'I like ponies!'
Smartass: 'Forget the green fuzzy dude-let's kill Happy...'
Bored: 'Who cares? I'm sleepy...'
Lust: 'Noooooooooo!'
Happy: 'Hee hee. Where's Dopey? Hee hee...No! Oww! Stop!'
...DOWNSTAIRS...AGAIN...
Sherry: "Robin-I am so sorry, honey. I'm such a bad girl. I deserve to be punished. You should spank me-spank me until my little bottom is glowing red! Yes!"
Thought: 'Ohhhh...melting...melting...'
Robin: (Grinning evilly.) "You're forgiven...where is my ping-pong paddle...?"
Thought: 'What a girl!'
My thought: 'And Beast thought I was creepy!'
...CYBORG'S...ROOM...
Starfire: (Knocking) "Cyborg-Tantath, open this door!"
Thought: 'Now we shall see who is the smartest-ass!'
Cyborg: "But I'm tired, Star..."
Thought: '...and still sore...'
Starfire smashed Cyborg's door, and entered his room.
Starfire: "Who is the 'Booyah' now, earthworm!"
Cyborg: "What are you doing dressed in leather? And what's with the goggles? And what the hell are you doing with my welding torch!"
Thought: 'Mommie...'
Starfire: (Sparking the oxy-acetylenestream to life.) "Bow down before the Princess Miss-Tress of Tamarainian torture-"
Cyborg: "Is that the broad-diffuser tip you have there? Wow! Nice choice, Star-I mean Misstress..."
Thought: 'She gets it! Cool! Now I got two people to help in the shop.'
My Thought: 'I don't know about you, but this is getting wayyyy too weird for me. This is not right. We don't act like this. Could my mind reading be causing the others to act irrationally?
I'm going to burn my records. We would be run out of town if anyone saw this.
Wha!...oh, Beast...OH! BEAST!...Ahhhhhhhh! Beeeeeeeeast!...ohhhhhhhhh... .
Happy: 'That is not a pony!'
Lust, Hate: 'Yeah-heh-heh-heh...!'
...F...I...N...
See? If you review, you get props! Isn't that worth it? No, really-I'm serious.