Ryou's Gone! (Part 2)
Previously on Yu-gi-oh…I mean Ryou's gone…Part 1….
Ryou left Bakura a note saying he was just…leaving. Bakura had a panic attack and remained in feta position. Marik being his "bestest best" friend offered himself to be Bakura's therapist…
Catchy theme song playsIt was a late afternoon…Bakura was still locked in his house this time with Marik. Dramatic music plays. As Ryou chased after Yami Yugi for giving Bakura coffee
Over with Ryou who was half way around the world aready…
"Yami Yugi you can't run forever! I'm going to scar you for life for giving my Yami coffee!" Ryou yelled.
"I swear I didn't give it to him! It was the directors I swear!" Yami Yugi screamed panting and jumping over quick sand.
Directors whistle innocently.
Over with Bakura and Marik now…
Bakura awoke with his coffee meter low and panic meter…pretty low too. He yawned. "I'm itchy again. Oh but I know where it is now." Bakura said scratching his left ass cheek again. "Wait…it wasn't itchy there this time. Where is my itchy spot! Where! Where!" He screamed throwing himself on the floor rolling around scratching himself. "Ahh, hit the spot." He said scratching his right ass cheek.
"Mmm-hmm very pe-cu-liar." Marik said sounding "peculiar" out and writing something in a notepad.
"Oh my Ra! It's monster! A hideous monster!" Bakura screamed covering his eyes.
"…It's just me Bakura…Marik." Marik said calmly.
Bakura stayed quiet. "Ahh! A hideous monster!" He screamed again and chuckling to himself.
"You're a bitch. I'm writing you up. Are you ready for our therapy session?" Marik asked patting to the couch.
"Therapy? What therapy! No one told me about therapy! Where's Ryou! Ryou. Ryou! Where's Ryou!" Bakura screamed running around the house several times…like…before.
"Mmm-hmm. Scratching of the butt, rolling on the floor screaming "I can't find my itchy spot", strange running around the house screaming Ryou's name. Very strange indeed. He definitely needs my help. With my experts in therapism…I'm sure to bring him down to earth. He's in critical condition…I don't know if I might be able to save him…Dramatic music plays and Marik grabs a flashlight from himself." Marik said writing everything he said down.
Bakura screamed running around the house till he tripped and lost one of his teeth. "A note!" He screamed.
Dear Bakura.
I left.
Love…I mean sincerely
Ryou"Those wretched thieves have stolen him again! Damn them…but wait…I used to be a thief…damn those thieves…excluding me." Bakura said.
"What he doesn't know…is that's the same letter from yesterday. Poor soul." Marik said. He giggled. "I sound smart!" He said clapping his hands like an idiot.
Bakura started sniffing the floor and noticed a strand of white hair.
"He's sniffing the floor…interesting. His disease is in it's critical stage. I must…fuck what's that smart sounding world for begin? Terminate? Oh that terminator movie was awesome! Oh shit I'm watching it again tonight. I must begin his therapy immediately. " Marik said writing "Watch Terminator" on the notepad.
"Look Marik! Proof that Ryou was kidnapped! He would not carelessly leave his delicate soft hair on the floor like this unless he was in a struggle." Bakura said.
"Yea with the brush. Bakura sit…better yet…lay down we must start on your therapy…you're dieing as we speak." Marik said.
"Dieing of what! I brush my teeth. Take a bath once a week. Eat every so often. What am I dieing from?" Bakura asked laying on the couch.
"I don't know Bakura…I just…don't know yet." Marik said dramatically.
There was a moment of silence.
"You take a bath once a week too? Alright. Up top." Marik said waiting for a high five.
"No." Bakura said.
"Asshole." Marik said.
Bakura got up and walked to the fridge.
"He's got a sort of waddle in his walk. I see how…he waddles over to the fridge and…what's this…drinking out of the carton…tsk tsk tsk." Marik said writing is down.
Bakura "Waddled" back to the couch and laid down.
"Ok Bakura. Shall we start?" Marik asked.
"Start what?" Bakura asked.
"Therapy." Marik said.
"What's therapy! No one told me anything about therapy! Where's Ryou! Ryou? Ryou! Ryou! Is the door locked?" Bakura asked in fetal position.
"Yes. We're locked in together." Marik said.
Bakura started screaming hysterically and slapping Marik.
There was a thump in the chimney room.
"A thief!" Bakura screamed climbing all over Marik's head.
"Want me to go see?" Marik asked.
"Yes. You die first. I mean…no no I mean that." Bakura said.
Yugi walked in.
Bakura growls. "Yugi."
"Have any of you seen my Yami?" Yugi asked.
"Maybe he died! Maybe he's off raping Ryou somewhere that little thief who stole Ryou! I hope he's dead and if he is dead why the fuck couldn't he have killed you and in his will saying he left his millennium puzzle to me to make the world a much better place!" Bakura asked twitchily and coughing.
"You're weird. Where's Ryou? Ryou knows how to calm you." Yugi asked.
"Ryou! Why did you have to leave me? So young…so fragile." Bakura cried.
"Maybe you were annoying." Marik said.
"Annoying?" Bakura said in confusion.
"Yugi…" Bakura growled. "Yugi." "Ok Bakura I get it you don't have to growl anymore! Yugi leave…we were gonna do therapy." Marik said.
"If you see my Yami…tell him to come home…he promised he would teach me how to duel because I suck and I always need his help in everything because I'm just so pathetic and I can't take care of myself." Yugi said climbing up the chimney.
"Alright…Bakura. Do you feel lonely? Depressed?" Marik asked.
"Well…I do feel lonely. I mean Ryou just…left me and he didn't even say goodbye. Just like that movie…Lassie with the dog and the little boy. I mean the dog just died on the kid…without saying goodbye." Bakura sniffed.
"I see. Do those type of movies…do they make you sad?" Marik asked.
"Well…when I watched it with Ryou…I laughed my ass off, but the when he wasn't there with me I cried." Bakura said.
"Very strange. Now…what do you like to eat?" Marik asked
"What does this have to do with anything?" Bakura asked.
"Answer the question bitch or Ryou gets it!" Marik shouted.
"Steak!" Bakura shouted quickly.
"Interesting. When I said I would endanger Ryou…you panicked." Marik said writing more stuff down.
"What are you writing in there anyway?" Bakura asked.
"Are you the therapist! Are you! I think not I ask questions you just be stupid enough to answer." Marik said angrily. "Now…do you have like…feelings?" he asked.
"Yes I have feelings Marik. I have this feeling you're being a total bitch to me. I write all my feelings in a journal." Bakura said.
"As in a dairy?" Marik asked.
"No a journal. Dairies are for girls. Journals are for boys. Dairygirls. Journalguys. Dairy…girls. Journal…guys. Guys…journals. Girls…dair
"Ok I get it dammit! What do you write in this "journal?" Marik asked.
"I told you." Bakura said.
"May I read your dairy…journal?" Marik asked.
"It wouldn't be a "secret" journal if you read it. You obviously don't know the rules of a journal." Bakura said folding his arms.
"Why do you always go into fetal position?" Marik asked.
"It's comfortable." Bakura replied.
Marik tried getting into fetal position. "What the hell man it's like strangling yourself." Marik said.
"Wimp." Bakura said feeling proud of himself being in fetal position.
"Now I'm going to show you pictures you tell me what you see in them." Marik said.
Picture number one.
"Ryou." Bakura said.
Picture number two.
"Um…Ryou." Bakura said.
Picture number three.
"Ry-ou." Bakura said.
Picture number four.
"Yep. Yep. Definitely Ryou." Bakura said.
Marik sighed. Picture number five.
"Bakura…beating up Marik." Bakura said.
"Well…you seem to have…a liking…correction "obsession" with Ryou." Marik said.
"No I don't." Bakura said stubbornly.
"Yes you do." Marik said.
"No I don't." Bakura said.
"Yes!"
"No!"
"Si!"
"No!"
"No!"
"No!" Bakura screamed.
"Damn…am I the only stupid one! You didn't fall for it. You were supposed to say yes when I said no." Marik said.
"Well I'm not stupid like you." Bakura said.
They heard the doorknob rattling.
"It's Ryou! He's come back! Abort…fetal…position." Bakura said running to the door. "Ryou! Ryou! I can't open the door! It's too smart for me!" He screamed.
"Mail service." The mailman said.
"You stole Ryou!" Bakura yelled banging on the door.
"Delivery for Bakura from…Ryou." The mailman said.
Bakura peeked through the mail slot. "How do you know me?" Bakura asked.
"I don't." The mailman said.
"But you know my name…how?" Bakura asked.
"It says it on this letter." The mailman said.
"How do you know my address?" Bakura asked narrowing his eyes.
"What the fuck is this 20 questions! I'm a mailman I deliver mail I got this from across the world from some stupid kid named Ryou." The mailman said.
"Don't you call him stupid or it's a one way trip to the shadow realm!" Bakura yelled sticking his hand through the slot and trying to get the mailman.
The mailman stuck the letter though the slot and ran off.
"My arm…it's stuck! Mairk help me!" Bakura screamed.
Bakura grabbed the letter and ripped it open with his teeth.
Dear Bakura,
Gutentag! I'm in Germany. I…left.
Sincerely (haha I got it right this time)
Ryou
P.S…I was not taken by thieves or "aliums" Love you…aw…crap.
Bakura spit the letter out. "He wasn't taken by thieves or aliums…looks like they gave up, but there's still one more suspect. Growls. "Yugi…or it could be Yami Marik…but my best bets on…Growls. Yugi." He said.
"One more question Bakura. Why when you say Yugi…" Bakura growls. "Yugi." Marik sighs. "When you say… IT'S name…you growl?" Marik asked.
"Bakura because I hate him with this fierce passion. I want him dead! Dead I tell you! I want to see him squirm and die and hand over the puzzle and kiss my feet." Bakura said laughing maniacally.
"Well at least his laugh is normal. I'm going home for a while. I need to sum up my notes. I'll be back shortly." Marik said unlocking the door and walking out leaving Bakura's body outside.
"I'm free… I'm free! I'm outside! The air! Oh the sunlight! The birds! The people! Yugi! Growls. "Yugi" The—
"Sorry I accidently left you outside." Marik said putting Bakura's body inside and leaving his arm stuck in the mail slot.
"Dammit." He cursed.
Bakura started singing and felt someone outside. "Who's there!" He asked opeing the mail slot.
"It's me. Yami Marik. Open the door." Yami Marik said not noticing Bakura's arm sticking out of the mail slot.
"Why so you could kidnap me too!" Bakura asked grabbing his leg.
"Oh shit! There's an arm outside you mail slot!" Yami Marik yelled stepping on it.
"Ow! Bitch that's my arm! I'm stuck." Bakura said wiggling his arm.
"Unlock the door I can help you get out." Yami Marik said.
"I can't! It's too smart for me. I dunno how to work it. And why do you wanna help me…so you can kidnap me too huh? Huh! Huh!" Bakura asked.
"I didn't steal Ryou Bakura. Now for that I'm not helping you. Have fun for Dramatic music plays the rest of your life…with you arm sticking out the door. WITHOUT Ryou!" Yami Marik yelled laughing evilly and walked off.
"The only thing left…is me…and this…coffee." Bakura said staring at the coffee that miraculously popped up near him.
He eyed the coffee. "I'm not supposed to have coffee for another hour…but…what the hell? It can't hurt me." He said drinking it.
He sat calmly till he had A TWITCHING ATTACK!
"Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MORE! MORE! MORE! COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE!" Bakura screamed laughing.
"Bakura I'm home!" Ryou shouted opening the door and smacking Bakura's face into the wall.
"Coffee! Coffee! Coffee!" Bakura muffled in the wall hyperly and twitching.
Ryou saw the empty coffee cup and a note that said:
Courtesy of Yami Yugi.
"I know it was him." Ryou said crumbling the paper and narrowing his eyes.
"AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! COFFEE!" Bakura continued screaming.
Ryou grabbed some butter and slipped Bakura's arm out of the mail slot.
"Ryou's alive! Yugi… Growls. "Yugi" brought you back…or it could've been Yami Marik." Bakura said.
"Here Bakura take a pill. You're too hyper again." Ryou said slipping him a pill.
"Marik says I'm gonna die." Bakura cried.
"Marik's stupid." Ryou said.
"Are you implying that I'm stupid too!" Bakura asked angrily.
"Of course not. You're very smart." Ryou said.
"Really. You too. Like oh my god Ryou. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like… Ryou slapped Bakura and he giggled. "Oh my god." He finished.
"I've lost him." Ryou said dramatically.
"Like do these pants make my butt look to big? And what about this hat? This shirt? Are my boobs big? Wait! Oh my god! Where are my boobs!" Bakura screamed like a cheerleading type blond.
"You never had boobs Bakura." Ryou said.
"God didn't bless me with big boobs." Bakura cried going into fetal postion.
"I've done it! I've figured out Bakura's disease!" Marik screamed running in through the door.
"I know too. I'm boobless." He sobbed hugging Ryou.
"No. Bakura has…penguinitis." Marik said.
"What the—what's that?" Ryou asked.
"He will slowly turn into…a penguin." Marik said.
"That's stupid." Ryou said.
"My charts indicate everything." Marik said showing him pictures of a baby penguin turning into an adult penguin. "At one point of Bakura's penguin life…he will look cute…after that he's really ugly." He added ending his slideshow.
"I'm turning into a penguin! It makes sense. My obsessive love for penguins, my boobless body, my thing for the color black and white…I am…a penguin!" Bakura cried.
"Oh…my god. I'm leaving." Ryou said shutting the door.
"Ryou! Where's Ryou! Ryou! Ryou! E's been abducted! By…penguins!" Bakura screamed going into fetal position again.
"Coffee?" Marik offered.
"sure." Bakura said drinking his coffee.
Marik called 911.
"COFFEE! COFFEE! COFFEE! COFFEE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAA!" Bakura laughing evilly screaming.
"You called?" The police asked.
"Yes. Take him away. He's on drugs. He's taking cocaine and smuggling them too me. He's crazy just look at him." Marik whispered.
The police looked at Bakura twitching and screaming rolling around on the floor.
"You're right. Should we give him the jacket?" The police asked.
"It's the only way to save humanity." Marik said.
"You're coming with us kid." The police said grabbing Bakura.
"Oh no! The po-lice! I didn't do anything!" Bakura screamed twitching
"Yes you have it's solitary confinement for you kid." The police said dragging Bakura on the floor.
"Save me Marik! Ryou?1 Where's Ryou! Ryou!" He screamed twitching and crying. He picked up the letter.
Dear Bakura,
Gutentag! I'm in Germany. I…left.
Sincerely (haha I got it right this time)
Ryou
P.S…I was not taken by thieves or "aliums" Love you…aw…crap.
Bakura gasped. He's with Yugi. Growls "Yugi" or Yami Marik in this bizarre place called Ger-man-y. He's been kidnapped by nazi penguins and Yami Marik and…growls "Yugi." He said. "I MUST SAVE HIM! But I'm getting sent to solitary confinement! Ryou save me! Marik you're right there save me!
Marik walked away.
"Bitch! When I get back from this place and rescue Ryou…it's the shadow realm for you!" He screamed getting dragged away…in fetal postion.
To be continued.
Good…another chapter done. R&R.
Bakura: Do I really have to get sent to solitary confinement?
Yes…you do. I wanted to picture you in the jacket.
Bakura: When will Ryou come back?
Never! (Grabs a flashlight and laughs evilly)
Bakura: Goes into fetal position.